Street Smarts - Tony Alessandra [PDF]

Zitiervorschau

By Dr. Tony Alessandra Garry Schaeffer Phillip S. Wexler

Preface This book was planted with the seeds of inspiration and grew by virtue of research and creativity. The inspiration was the notion that street smarts plays a tremendous role in everything from survival to success in every walk of life. Next, we identified the characteristics of street smart people and set out to find corroboration for our theory. The research was comprised of interviews with people whom we believed were street smart. They ranged from CEO's, business owners, and management consultants to university professors, actors, political activists, and undercover cops. Our interviews always began with the question: "What do you think are the characteristics of street smart people?" Without fail, our interviewees identified the same traits again and again. We were thrilled, flattered, and convinced we had distilled street smarts down to its essence. Each interviewee had a unique way of fleshing out some or most of the characteristics of street smarts. Their stories were fascinating and many were incorporated into this book. The creativity came later in our choice of a style in which to tell our story. We chose an allegory because we hoped it would be more entertaining and memorable.

Acknowledgements

The authors would like to thank the street smart people who were generous with their time and their knowledge. We were very fortunate to have interviewed them: Steve Allen…………… Bill Arens……………... Wayne Arnold……….. F. Lee Bailey………… David Brenner……….. Robert Clohessy…….. Frank Collura………… Tom Dreesen………… Dr. Gerry Faust…….. Geraldine Ferraro…… Dennis Franz………. Dr. Paul Hersey……… Abbie Hoffman……….

Victor Kiam…………... Gerry Kurtz…………... Dr. Lois Lee………….. Sid Levitz…………….. Jay Miller…………….. G. Dale Murray……… Dr. Michael O'Connor Eddie Spizel………….

Dale Stein……………. Dr Robert Sternberg… Jonathan Tisch……… Carl Westcott………… Bob Wysong………….

Entertainment Renaissance Man: actor, comedian, songwriter, the original host of the "Tonight Show" Former Pres., Meridian Educational Sys; former ad agency owner DEA Supervisor; former undercover cop Trial attorney Stand-up comedian Actor; "Hill Street Blues," "Ohara" Former Chicago undercover cop; Founder, Westec Security Stand-up comedian Management Consultant; Founder of Courseware Former Congresswoman; 1984 Vice-presidential candidate Actor; “N.Y.P.D. Blue”; "Hill Street Blues;" Speaker/consultant/author of The Situational Leader Political activist of 20 years; best known for his role in the demonstration of the 1968 Democratic National Convention and as a defendant in the Chicago Seven conspiracy trial "The man who bought the company"  former CEO of Remington Products Former Dir. of Comm. for N.I.M.H. (during Nixon Admin.) Founder/Exec. Dir. of Children of the Night Former President, Levitz Furniture Professional mime; educator Former C.E.O. of Murray Industries/Chris Craft Boats Former V.P., Resource Development for Carlson Learning Co. Pres. of Spizel Advertising and Public Relations; pioneered the use of professional athletes for celebrity product endorsements on radio and TV Founder, Westec Security; owner of three other businesses ranging from real estate development to printing IBM Professor of Psychology, Yale University President, Loews Hotels Founder, Automotive Satellite Television Network Former Chicago attorney

Dr. Tony Alessandra Garry Schaeffer Phillip S. Wexler

I graduated Summa cum Laude from the University of Wisconsin School of Business, but good grades didn’t begin to prepare me for life in New York City. My wake up call came right off the boat, so to speak. In Kennedy Airport, my briefcase was stolen. Some guy ran off with it when I turned my back for five seconds; well, maybe 10. How stupid of me. There's a lesson they don’t teach you in any school. Welcome to New York! My next eye-opener came when I went for a beer around five o'clock. I had some time to kill before looking at an apartment. I sauntered into a neighborhood bar, sat down, sipped a brew, eavesdropped on some conversations, and lost myself in other peoples’ lives. A husky man of about 50 came in and sat next to me at the bar. The bartender knew him well. She poured him a beer and refused to take his money. “Frank, your drinks are on the house for as long as you live,” she said. “At the rate I’m going, that may not be long!” Frank laughed, shooting her a knowing smile. “I should have brought back-up before coming in here.” I was intrigued. Loosened by the suds, I leaned over and asked, “Excuse me, but, I’d love to know why you get free drinks here. Unless, of course, it’s too personal.” “It’s personal,” he said, “but I don’t mind telling you. He shifted to face me. “I almost got killed the last time I came in here!” he whispered. “I’m a cop. About two weeks ago I stopped by to show Louise the latest book of mug shots to see if she could identify the guy who held her up last month. As I walked through the front door, I was confronted with one guy with a shotgun and another guy at the bar with a .45.

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They’re sticking up the joint! The guy with the shotgun had just fired a shot into the ceiling. There’s plaster all over the place and they’re threatening to kill everybody in the bar. “As I walk in, Louise blurts out, ‘Officer, it’s a hold up!’ The guy in front of me spins and fires! I thought he hit me, but it just passed through my sleeve. Now my instincts are coming into play and I have to make a decision. If I draw my weapon, I’m dead. There’s no way I’m going to Wyatt Earp it. So my instincts told me to fall straight forward and hit the ground, preferably with my face. I knew if I did that, I’d break my nose and bleed. So I did. I was in a pool of blood. My adrenaline was pumping. Meanwhile, the guy with the shotgun ran behind the jukebox. “The officer whose squad car covered this district was an Irish guy whose sight was so bad I had to shoot at his target to help him get through the police academy. He was the first one through the door. Just as he sees the guy covering the bar with the .45, he slips on my blood, and as he’s falling, he shoots and hits the perpetrator right between the eyes!” My mouth was wide open. “The cop is laying next to me, and I’m whispering, ‘Pssst! Patrick!’ He puts his gun to my head and says, ‘Don’t move or I’ll blow your head off.’ He thought I was one of the perps. I said, ‘It’s Frank. There’s another perp behind the jukebox.’ Patrick says, ‘Where?’ and spins around and fires a shot through the jukebox, hits the guy in the head and he’s dead too! Blind as a bat, and he kills both guys with two shots. While slipping! He didn’t even recognize me until I showed him my badge!” “Come on,” I said, “you’re pulling my leg, right?” “Not at all,” the cop assured me. “Look.” He pointed to the ceiling. Sure enough there was a four-foot hole where the plaster was missing.

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“That’s incredible,” I said, “the thing that gets me is, how did you think to fall forward and hit your nose on the floor? The police academy doesn’t train guys to do that sort of thing!” “After you’ve been in this line of work for a while,” he said, “you learn to think quickly on your feet, or your nose, if necessary. If you’re going to survive, you’ve got to have street smarts.” Suddenly I had a sense of really being on to something hot. His words echoed in my head, “You’ve got to have street smarts.” New York. The airport. My briefcase. Street Smarts. Ah ha! The cop turned his attention back to the bartender and I figured my time was up. I paid the tab, thanked the cop, and left.

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om and I met on the street. The little brat was sitting on the stoop reading the sports page when I walked up to his building to see an apartment. "Hey, Gringo!" he shouted as I approached. "You must be the guy that wants

to see the vacancy, right?" Tom said. "Is it true you're from Wisconsin?" "Yes," I said in my most dignified bravado, "and my name is Charles." "What ya say, Chuck-E-Cheese!" he roared. "Damn, I never thought I'd meet anyone from Wisconsin." He turned on the cornball routine, acting as if I were some kind of country bumpkin from reruns of The Beverly Hillbillies. He even asked if I played the banjo. New Yorkers sure have a strange way of putting out the welcome mat. "Come on up, the owner's waiting for you," the kid said. "Are you his son?" I asked.

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"No way," he shuddered. "I just help out. Come on, he should be done emptying the rat traps by now." He didn't crack a smile, but I assumed he was joking. The owner was in the apartment cleaning up. It was a small, furnished one-bedroom. He showed me around, which took 15 seconds, and I told him I would take it. We talked for a few minutes and then sat down at the kitchen table to fill out a rental agreement. He asked me for the first and last month's rent and a cleaning deposita hell of a lot of money to fork out. I couldn't believe it; and I almost agreed to his terms. The kid was standing behind the owner, making faces and all kinds of gyrations. I wondered why this kid was practicing break-dancing at a time like this. "Look, I just got my M.B.A.," I told the owner. "I start work at the Bank on Monday. I could give you a check for half now and..." The kid's eyes were bulging. He was shaking his head violently and gesturing with thumbs down. He pointed toward the bathroom. I suddenly realized what he was doing. "Would you excuse me for a minute," I said, "this morning's coffee seems to have caught up with me." I got up and went to the bathroom. The kid followed. "You're about to get ripped off, cheese-dip!" he said after we closed the door. "The owner is a thief. Don't give him that much money." "What can I do?" I asked. "It's his apartment and I want to rent it!" "Don't you know anything?" the kid said. "Make a deal!" Okay, so I was a little naive. Give me a break! For the past six years my head had been buried in books. And when I wasn't studying, I was playing basketball. "Why should he compromise?" I asked the kid. "He's the one who can afford to be independent. After all, the law of supply and demand is in his favor."

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"Don't get legal with me," the kid said, "he likes you and he'd rather rent to someone he likes than to someone he doesn't like. The deposit doesn't mean as much as having someone who won't wreck the joint." "How can I negotiate?" I said frustrated. "What have I got to offer?" "You have a lot," the kid assured me. "Offer to paint the apartment at your expense. Offer to sign a lease rather than rent month-to-month. Tell him you'll help me take out the garbage cans twice a week." "What am I, 13 years old!" I told the kid. "Hey, it's not so bad," he said defensively. "It sure beats living on a farm and shoveling all that horse..." "Listen," I interrupted, "what's a reasonable deposit to give him? What am I aiming for here?" "I've seen him accept first month's rent plus $750," the kid said. "Try for that." We flushed the toilet and I resumed my position at the bargaining table. The owner was getting impatienthe glanced at his watch and also gave the kid a dirty look. "As I told you on the phone," I said, "I just moved here. I just got out of school, so I don't have a lot of money. I really like the apartment and you can see that I'm the kind of person who will keep it clean. In fact, I'll go a step further. I used to work with wood. In my spare time, I'll refinish the furniture for you in exchange for a lower deposit." The owner's eyes grew wide. He told me he had a storeroom with a dozen antiques that he would love to have refinished. I told him I would do them for him at my leisureno charge. "I'll tell you what," I said, "I'll give you the first month's rent, starting today, and $400 as a deposit." I intentionally threw out a low number, figuring he'd raise it. To my surprise, he agreed to my terms. I signed the rental agreement and cut the check. The

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kid was gloating and making faces at the back of the owner's head. I also felt triumphant, but didn't show it. After the owner left, the kid and I gave each other high-fives. "How do you know the owner so well?" I asked. "My old man used to be the super," he said, "before he split. Now me and my mother do it. I know everything about this building, and the neighborhood. If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." "How'd you get to be such a shrewd negotiator?" I asked. My father taught me that a long time ago," he said. "When I was about eight, there was this bicycle I wanted in a store. It was 75 dollars. I had 50 bucks from selling newspapers all summer. I told my dad about it and he sent me to the store and told me to ask for the owner. He said the owner was the only one who could change the price of the bike. My dad told me to offer him 50 dollars for the bike. I did and got turned down. A week later I was talking about the bike again so my father sent me back with the same offer. Still no deal. A week later my father said, `Be creative.' That's all he said. I went back and offered 50 bucks plus three months of window washing. That deal he liked; I rode the bike home that day." To be Street Smart... Look for flexibility in situations that seem to have none; don’t assume a price, fee or deposit is firmly fixed; negotiate with a give and take attitude; ask for what you want! If the answer is NO, ask again. Maybe they didn’t understand the question!

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The next time I saw the kid he was sitting in his usual spot on the stoop, reading the sports page. I had just returned from the grocery store and had two bulging paper bags in my arms. As I approached the steps I could see him smirking. “What is it now?” I asked, slightly amused. “Oh, nothing,” he said coyly. “I guess you want a hand, right?” “If you don’t mind,” I said. “Are you kidding, Cheese-Whiz,” he said nonchalantly, “even my mother pays me to help her.” At the top of the stairs I began fumbling for my keys. One of the bags started to slide down to my leg. My arms were aching from the weight and I knew I was going to drop everything. “Help!” I yelled. “Just for a second!” “For ten bucks I will!” he yelled back. “Are you crazy!” I snapped. “Come on, I just saved you a thousand dollars! “ he shouted. “Okay, two bucks, NOW!” I barked, just as one of the bags gave way, but he was there in a flash to catch it. Nothing broke and everything was under control. “Now, I don’t mind,” he said calmly. I opened the door to the lobby. “This way,” I said as I headed for my apartment. “Two bucks was just for the rescue,” he said boldly. “Delivery’s extra.” I looked him square in the eyes and said quietly, “Two bucks is for delivery to my door.” He started to put the bag down. I thought I’d go for broke. “Hold it! What’s your name again?” “Tom.” “How old are you, Tom?”

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“Fifteen.” “You want to live to be sixteen!” I didn’t wait for an answer. I was afraid he’d say he didn’t care. “Follow me!” He followed me to my apartment. I now know whynot because my threat fazed him, but because he intended to do so all alonghe wanted to see my apartment, now that it was lived in. “Thanks for your help,” I said when we got to my door. “Aren’t you going to be a good neighbor and invite me in for tea?” he smirked. “I’ll invite you in and pay you the two bucks I owe you,” I said, opening the door, “Just don’t steal anything.” Tom walked in and was immediately transfixed by my old Larry Bird poster. “Wow, Bird! I love B-Ball too!” he said as he dribbled an imaginary ball and swished jump shots from the three-point line. We talked about basketball until we were famished, then split a frozen pepperoni pizza. We told each other our life stories and, believe it or not, his took longer to tell than mine. The kid was only fifteen and already he had at least two novels in him. It was ironic, he had the life stories and no desire to write and I had the desire to write and no adventures to tell the world. Not yet. “By the way,” I asked him, “why do you cut school so much?” “Give me a break, will ya?” he said, “I get enough of that from my mother.” “Your mother must be a smart woman,” I said defiantly. I saw him tune me out so I changed the subject. “You read the sports page every day, don’t you?” “Yeah, I’m gonna be a sports announcer someday,” he said. “Well, stop wasting your money buying the paper,” I said in a feigned reprimand. He looked at me as if I had offered him property in the New Jersey swamps. “I’ll give you my morning paper when I’m done with it.”

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“Hey thanks,” he said, starting to relax again. “And for you, I’ll...see that you don’t get ripped off.”

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Weeks passed. One day I returned home from work early and found Tom in front of the building dribbling a basketball and teasing one of the neighborhood girls. “You didn’t go to school again!” I yelled, sounding more like a father than a friend. “You and your school!” he countered. “Did you close that big deal today?” “No,” I said, feeling a sharp jab of disappointment. “A lotta good school’s done you,” he said. “You and your degree! I bet I could have closed that deal.” He could have closed the deal! What a jerk. The possibility was more than I wanted to contemplate at the moment, so I walked past my building and around the block several times before returning. Tom was still outside when I got back. I apologized for hassling him about school and he apologized for razzing me about the blown deal. “You know, Bird and Magic and all those guys did go to school,” I told him. “In fact, college is a great training ground for athletes...and sportscasters.” “Yeah, well, there isn’t a whole lot of things I don’t already know that school is gonna teach me,” he said arrogantly. “If you want to be on TV, you have to be able to speak properly,” I told him. Before he had a chance to rebut, I said, “It seems to me that you and I can work out a deal here.” His eyes grew wide. “I have some of what you need and you have some of what I need. Let’s work together.” “What do I have that you need?” he asked. “You’re street smart,” I said. He gloated, obviously liking the label. “What do you have that I need? A college degree?” he asked skeptically.

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“That’s right,” I said. “I’ll tell you what. If you’ll take some of my advice, I’ll take some of yours. You see, you might have been able to close that deal today, but you couldn’t have gotten in the door. I got in the door, but couldn’t close the deal.” That night I was brushing my teeth before going to bed. One thought lead to another and I imagined the undercover cop falling on his face to save his life. Then I thought of the kid and his smooth street style. What a new and unique world this wasthe big city where there is so much more than meets the eye. I was fascinated and felt a welcomed challenge. There was a lot to be learned here.

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II

IF YOU’RE SO SMART, HOW COME YOU’RE NOT RICH? Real World Intelligence versus Book Learning

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he next morning during breakfast I read the paper in the usual orderfront page, sports, business, and op-eds. On the second page of the business section a headline jumped off the page: ‘STREET SMARTS’ COUNT MORE

IN MANAGEMENT, PROFESSORS SAY. Whoa! I read on. According to Drs. Robert Sternberg of Yale and Richard Wagner of Florida State, street smarts is a far better predictor of managerial success than academic performance. They even said a very high I.Q. could be a detriment to managerial success. At first I was skeptical, but a moment laterconsidering everything I had experienced so far in New Yorkthe idea rang true. I tore out the article, threw it in my briefcase, and went to work after leaving the newspaper for Tom. After work I ran to the library and did some digging. I found a couple of articles by Sternberg on intelligence. I was fascinated by his insight. His theory of intelligence went beyond the traditional notion of I.Q. He believes there are three facets to intelligence: abstract intelligencethe ability to analyze, deduce, and think logically; experiential intelligencethe ability to creatively combine different experiences to solve a problem; and contextual intelligencethe ability to use one’s environment to play the game. The latter, intelligence within a context, Sternberg also calls street smarts, practical intelligence, or tacit knowledge. The library was about to close by the time I regained awareness of my surroundings. I took the photocopied articles home and continued reading before

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bed. I had trouble falling asleep that night, so to lull myself to sleep, I imagined myself in a supersonic jet, soaring over the ocean towards an exotic destination.

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The flight was brief and the destination less than exotic. The plane landed at the airport in New Haven, Connecticut. From there, Charles took a limo to Yale University to meet Dr. Robert Sternberg. “Thank you for taking the time to see me, Dr. Sternberg,” Charles said as the professor pointed to a chair in the book-lined office. “My pleasure,” Dr. Sternberg said. “I enjoy talking about my work.” “I remember reading that your concept of practical intelligence has nothing to do with life in the big city,” Charles said. “I don’t think street smarts has anything to do with big cities or small cities,” Sternberg replied. “It’s no longer a negative term that conjures up images of street gangs or con artists. There is no denying that street smarts has its roots in the impoverished areas of inner cities, places in which people had to develop certain abilities just to survive physically; but just as blues singers are no longer slaves, street smart people are no longer just city-dwellers. They are born, raised, live, and work in all types of environments. “I use the term much more generically. In any pursuit in life there is a formal knowledge base and an informal knowledge base. The formal knowledge base is what you’re told. It’s what you get in the manual when you start a job. It’s what you get in the course work in college. Informal knowledge is everything they don’t bother to tell you. And usually that’s the stuff that makes the most difference. It’s the stuff they can’t say and wouldn’t say if they could. That’s why we call it tacit knowledge. It’s what you learn from your environment. You might say it’s the unwritten rules of life.

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“There’s street smarts for country life and there’s street smarts for city life. There’s street smarts for being a business executive and street smarts for students. Even students need street smarts in order to write papersthey need to know what’s going to sell their professors.” “If it’s so important for everyone, why don’t schools teach it?” Charles added. “Schools tend to over-focus on the formal aspects of intelligence, the abstract thinking. They’ve always believed that, in developing kids, the idea is for kids to get good grades. Now I’m not denying the importance of education, and good grades are very important, but grades aren’t the whole picture. Often what happens is the people who have the highest grades are the ones who make the least money. In fact, 'B' students end up earning more money than the people at the top of the class. You know the old saying, ‘If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?’ Just look around at some smart people and you’ll see what I mean.” “Why is it the ‘B’ students are more successful than the ‘A’ students?” Charles asked. “Because people in the middle have more of a balance between abstract intelligence and practical intelligence,” Dr. Sternberg continued. “They are people who do more than just study. They get involved in student politics, sports, theatre, and other interests that give them real-life experience. When they get out of school, they have more social skills and savvy about how things are done in the real world.” “Clearly, then, you need a balance,” Charles said. “People with academic knowledge and no street smarts are missing half of a complete package,” Sternberg said. “And street smart people without education are also missing half; these people, in fact, are the type who often end up going down the troubled road and becoming criminals. The ideal combination is the best education you can get plus street smartsthat’s what you find in super-achievers.”

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“It’s kind of like a car,” Charles said, “that needs power and steering to get anywhere. In people, street smarts is the thrust, education is the direction.” “That’s a good analogy,” Dr. Sternberg said. “So how do I learn to be street smart?” Charles asked. “One of the critical things is just your attitude,” Sternberg continued. “You must have an attitude that this is something that matterssomething you can use to your advantage. So a big part of learning is motivational. It’s almost a prerequisite for developing it. Then you have to seek out the information from other people, from your environment, and from within yourself. The first is done by observing street smart people and asking questions of mentors. The second is done by paying attention, both inwardly and outwardly. You have to let the knowledge you already have come outand we all have more than we might give ourselves credit for. ”

To Be Street Smart... Get motivated! Find people to use as role models. Be observant. Ask questions. Listen closely.

“I think it’s important to realize just how broad this concept is, ” Dr. Sternberg continued. “It really does apply to every occupation imaginable, even if you’re in the arts or science. Too many artists and scientists don’t realize that they, too, have to sell themselves. I have a friend who is an artist. Believe it or not, he makes a great living painting scenes on fingernails. They’re very detailed, intricate scenes that women pay him $10 per nail to paint. He has his own beauty shop, but decided he wanted to go back to art school to get a graduate degree. He hired a manager to run his shop so he could go to art school in California. One day he got an invitation to dinner from one of his professors. He was very excited because he thought he was being singled out

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and given the opportunity to learn at the feet of the master. At dinner there were three or four other professors from the art department and he was really impressed with himself. It turned out, the reason they invited him was so they could learn from him how to make money with their art! There he was studying to be a better artist and all these supposedly great artists were tapping him for his expertise in the real world!”

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I was rudely awakened by the sound of someone running up the stairs outside my apartment, then came the predictable slamming of the newspaper against my door. I was getting tired of the paperboy waking me up every morning at 5:30, but this morning was different. The edge was off my anger. In fact, I didn’t even care. I had the vague feeling I had dreamed something profound, but couldn’t recall what it was. Normally I would find this disturbing, but this morning I felt a calmness about it and simply trusted the message in my dream would return. At work that day I began to look more closely at the people in my department. In particular, I was looking to see who was street smart and who was not. My plan was to figure out what made the street smart people tick. I wanted to know how they thought and behaved that was different from everyone else. It was a Friday, so after work a group headed to a local pub near Wall Street. I ordered a drink and joined the tail end of a conversation between two people in my department who I thought might be street smartmy boss and the V.P. of marketing. They had been talking about finesse and style. We all agreed that sometimes it’s not what you do, but how you do it. “You know, I think I’ve got a lot on the ball,” I told my elders. “Hell, I graduated at the top of my class; I played college basketball for four years; I was hired by your bank.” “That might have been a mistake,” my boss quipped. 15

“I'm amazed by a neighbor of mine, a kid of 15 who seems to be the most savvy, street smart person I’ve ever met. The kid makes me look like a babe in the woods.” “Be careful of your book learning,” my boss said, “because it’s only part of the package. And don’t be too impressed by the fact that you graduated Summa cum Laude.” “I’m beginning to realize that,” I continued. “There are a lot of important abilities that my education has neglectedit took a 15-year old kid to show me that a rental deposit was negotiable! So I’m going to do what it takes to learn to be street smart. I even had a dream about it last night.” “That’s great,” the V.P. of marketing interjected. “Pay attention to your dreams! They’re often your intuition coming to the surface and offering solutions to problems that you take to bed with you. Some of the greatest discoveries of all time were inspired by their inventors’ dreams. Use them as a tool.”

To Be Street Smart... Listen to your inner voice.

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III YOU GOTTA TURN UP YOUR RADAR Heightened Awareness

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took a cab home because I didn’t think it was a good idea to walk the streets of New York half-in-the-bag. As a neophyte city-dweller, if I were going to be mugged, I’d at least want to be sober for it.

I was eating a fast-food burger and reading the evening paper when there was a

scratching sound on the door. I opened it and found Tom sprawled on the floor as if he were dead. “Very funny,” I said, “come in.” Tom threw a couple of books on the couch. “We were supposed to go over your math tonight, weren’t we?” I asked. “Let’s skip it and watch the Knicks game,” Tom said anxiously. “It starts in ten minutes.” “No, let’s do your math,” I said. It was difficult enough getting him to agree to be tutored. The last thing I wanted to do was encourage him to goof off. Tom was easily distracted, as usual, but I managed to get him to understand isosceles, right, acute, and obtuse triangles. Afterwards we devoured a Sara Lee chocolate cake and watched the end of the Knicks game. Sometimes all you need is the last five minutes. Tom left and I later fell asleep after Jay Leno’s interview with comedian David Brenner.

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Charles boarded the supersonic jet and took his reserved seat near the window. He watched the country race by as they sped to Las Vegas. Upon arrival, Charles was met by a white limousine that whisked him to a hotel where David Brenner was performing. In the huge dinner theatre, a maitre d’ seated Charles at the foot of the stage. When the show began, David Brenner came out and, before starting his act, leaned over and shook Charles’ hand. Brenner began his act with the line that prompted Charles to call him in the first place. “Next to my parents,” Brenner said, “the most influential aspect of my life was the street corner.” He went on to talk about street smarts, survival in Philadelphia as a kid, and other funny bits. At the end of the show a man came over to Charles and told him Mr. Brenner would see him now. In the dressing room Brenner introduced Charles to his manager. The three of them sat down and munched on finger-foods as they talked. David was the same person he was on stagerelaxed, fast-talking, and poignant. “Street Smartsyou can see it in people,” he said. “There’s a certain quickness, a sharpness, a certain paranoia, and skepticism. “Everything to me is the street corner. Any wisdom I got, I got from my father and my mother, and the guys on the corner. A lot of guys, once they got out of the neighborhood, they made the mistake of acting like they were never in the neighborhood. They let the values go. When I finally got out of that neighborhood, there were a lot of values I took with me. “Whenever I’m faced with a business decision or a professional decision, I take it right back to the street. I ask myself, ‘What would I do in the streets?’ I went to college and I’m telling you, if I use three percent of what I learned in college, it’s a miracle; 97 percent of every good move I ever made was from my street wisdom.

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“When you’re a kid growing up in the city, in the morning, you have breakfast and you leave for school. The minute you open that door you’re in Hell’s Kitchen. The first thing you have to deal with is the neighborhood bully or a stranger on the street looking for trouble. So the minute you start down that front step, you gotta have your antennae up for danger just so you can make it to school. “For some reason, I have one of the best radar systems. When I used to live down on the street as a kid, in our gang, I used to walk in front. I could feel trouble before it even happened. “I was once driving down to Miami with some friends. This was back in about 1967. We were in a small town in north Florida. We stopped and went into a restaurant for dinner. We sat down and the menus hadn’t even come yet and I said, ‘Let’s get outta town.’ They said, ‘Why?’ I said, ‘I don’t know, but there’s trouble in this town.’ So we got in the car and drove out of town. The next morning we read in a newspaper that some Black kid in that town went to a white-only swimming pool and there was a huge uproar and the whole town exploded in a race riot. “Everything you do is on intuition. You fly by the seat of your pants. You go on your gut reaction all the time with everything and everybody. You don’t calculate because you know you really like yourself. Your computer systemyour subconsciousis gonna take care of you. Feed the information into it, it’ll digest it and pop the answer into your brain. It’ll tell you what to say, where to move, what to do. There’s no thinking. I work almost strictly on intuition. “I’ve only been ripped off a few times in my life. I once did a gig and the guy wanted to give me half of it in cash. At the end of the night he said, ‘Do you mind if I give you some cash and a check?’ Even though it was a successful club, my intuition was telling me to ask for all cash, but instead I reluctantly agreed to take the check. It bounced. I was so angry with myself because I knew better!

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“Always go on your gut reaction. You’re rarely wrong, because if you know yourself real well and you like yourself enough, you’re gonna take care of yourself. If you’re wrong, it’s only because you’re being overly safe and overly protective.” “Clearly, street smart people trust their intuition,” Charles said, “but how do you know when your intuition is right?” Brenner’s manager spoke up. “That’s a matter of practice. You see, there is a lot of stuff that can masquerade as intuition. By “stuff” I mean fears, wishful thinking, negative thinking, your ego. When your ego is involved, it cancels out your gut. Your intuition will often point out possible problems, but your ego just adds to your problems. “So what you do is keep track of your hunches. Write them down and see what happens. By keeping tabs on which come true and which don’t, you will see what your track record is and learn to recognize how true intuition feels.” Charles added, “The VP of Marketing at work mentioned dreams can be used as a tool. And Dr. Robert Sternberg believes street smarts help you in every facet of life, including business. I wonder if intuition will find its place in the business world?” “Absolutely,” the manager added, “many researchers, writers and business people are calling intuition the job skill of the future. John Naisbitt discussed it in his book, Megatrends, and Roy Rowan wrote a whole book about it called, The Intuitive Manager. In fact, many universities are starting to teach it. I have a nephew at Stanford who is taking a class called, ‘Creativity in Business.’ The purpose of the class is to enhance students’ awareness of and confidence in their intuition.” “Wow, it’s really catching on,” Charles said. “And it should,” the manager continued. “research has shown that an executive’s ability to use intuition is significantly correlated with a high profit record. There is no question that street smart people are more willing to trust their intuition than someone else’s facts and figures.”

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“You guys sure know a lot about street smarts,” Charles said. “This is your dream,” Brenner said. “We wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

To Be Street Smart... Turn up your radar and pay attention to your surroundings. Keep track of your intuitive hunches. Write them down, see which ones come truethe truly intuitive ones will carry the most power and conviction. Admit your fears, prejudices and wishes so you will not confuse them with your intuition. Practice all of the above!

Back at the airport, Charles boarded the plane for his return flight and noticed there were more people on board. He took a seat across from a rugged Black man wearing a three-piece suit. Sitting next to him was the same cop Charles had met earlier in the bar in New York. “You look familiar,” Charles said to the cop. “I remember you,” the cop said. “How ya doin’? By the way, I’m Frank.” “Charles.” “Wayne,” the other man said, shaking Charles’ hand. “What brings you to Vegas?” Charles asked. “Government work,” Arnold said nonchalantly. “Wayne is with the DEA,” Frank said, “and I’m on loan to them as a wiretap specialist.” “Sounds pretty exciting,” Charles said. “It can be,” Wayne said, “but at this stage it’s just a routine stake-out. Did you come to play the tables?” “No,” Charles said. “I’m on a mission to learn about street smarts. I came to talk to David Brenner.”

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“Street smarts,” Wayne said, giving Frank a knowing look. “Why a mission to learn about street smarts?” “To get some for myself,” Charles said. “From what I’ve learned so far, it’s something that can help you, no matter who you are, what you do, or where you do it.” “There’s no doubt about that,” Wayne said. “Especially in my line of work, street smarts is a prerequisite for the job. I’ve been on the streets in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, you name it,” Wayne said. “In my 15 years with the department, I’ve made almost 3,000 street busts. “So how has street smarts come into play for you?” Charles asked. “In undercover work, you have to be able to protect yourself,” Wayne explained. “You have to be able to anticipate someone else doing something. You learn to play your hunches. If something feels right, you do it, if it doesn’t, you don’t do it.” “So intuition plays a big part in police work,” Charles said. “That’s something I’ve heard a lot lately.” “Absolutely,” Frank interjected. “In police work, street smarts is considered a sixth sense. That’s only half the picture. It’s also a developed instinct based on visual observation. You get the chill up your spine; sometimes from intuition, sometimes from specific stimuli that you’re observing. “Let me give you an example. As a cop, you learn what a glance means. You learn what furtive moves are, such as two guys sitting at a curb who follow your squad car with their eyes as you drive around the corner; or two individuals in a car who are moving real quick as you approach them, and then suddenly they’re calm as you pass by; or when you ask a guy to get out of a car, he hoists his belt in a certain way that’s slightly unusual, suggesting that just maybe he’s packing a .357 Magnum in his belt. All these things have happened!” “So how do you develop this skill?” Charles asked. “You have to heighten your awareness,” Wayne answered.

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“Right, like David Brenner said, you have to have your radar turned up high,” Charles added. “That’s right,” Frank said, “it means paying attention. You and I can walk into a restaurant. You see a restaurant full of people. I see a guy sitting at the end of the counter with his leg half off the stool and his hand in his pocket. I ask myself, “Why?” He’s got a cup of coffee in front of him, his silverware is on the right side of his plate to indicate he’s right handed, and his right hand is in his pocket. What I’m seeing doesn’t fit. If you were to add to that scenario an old clunker sitting outside at the curb with someone behind the wheel and the motor running, I would go right to the pay phone and call the cops because these guys are gonna hold up the place. It’s all how you see things. You and I perceive things differently.” “Excuse me,” a man interrupted, leaning over from the opposite aisle seat. “I couldn’t help over-hearing your conversation. You’re talking about street smarts and perceptiveness.” “Yes,” Charles said, “I’m Charles Green.” “Wayne Arnold.” “Frank Collura.” They all shook hands. “I’m F. Lee Bailey,” the man said. “As I see it, the definition of intuition is a sixth sensethat is, the ability to gain information without resorting to the normal five senses. It’s usually ascribed to women. It’s really that women, at least until recent years, have gone through life in a defensive posture, always having to look out for themselves and be wary of the stronger, more dominant male. So they much more finely-tuned their ability to forecast what’s going to happen from tiny little signals.”

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“Yeah, it’s precisely those tiny little signals that can save your life,” Wayne added. “I’ve been involved in several shootings. There was one drug bust in Chicago in which my surveillance did not get the bust signal. I gave the bust signal to my back-up, but he didn’t relay it to the group of cops that were waiting outside. “I went out into a hallway with the drug dealers. I had two guns and a fake cash roll that was supposed to be $25,000. My surveillance didn’t come in. Things were getting too far along. So I decided to arrest these individuals myself. “So I pulled out one of my guns and I showed them my credentials. I told the guy, ‘Hey, look, you’re under arrest.’ He immediately says: ‘There’s someone behind you and he’s going to kill you unless you put your gun down.’ I knew there were two doors behind me in this hallway. Immediately, I sensed he was lying. His eyes didn’t go to the right places, he wasn’t saying the right things, and he was too nervous. He was looking directly at me when he said there was someone in back of me; he didn’t look past me. And I didn’t feel there was anybody in back of me. “There was another dealer standing on the stairs. He also was not looking behind me. The next thing I thought wasthey always did this on ‘The Lone Ranger’they got the guy to turn around. So what got me out of there alive was my ability to read this guy’s body languagehis face and his eyesand trust my intuition. All that was based on tiny little signals.” “Wow, that’s some story,” Charles said. “How does that tie in to the legal profession, Mr. Bailey?” “We tell new lawyers to watch a lot,” Bailey said. “People communicate much earlier with their eyes than they do verballyespecially in my environment, which is the courtroom. We have to rely very heavily on what we see because the atmosphere is adversarial. People are trying not to tell you what they are thinking or feeling. You’ve got to be able to read it from body english and, again, from experienceknowing what

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a person is going through when he begins to twitch or look at the floor or look for help from his lawyer.” A man came over and picked up the thought. “I tell my salespeople to watch a lot. Let’s say you’re giving a presentation to a group of executives. As you’re talking, you notice they are occasionally glancing over at one man. That tells you right away who the decision-maker is.” “Watch a lot,” Charles thought. That made sense to him. He gave himself credit for being the type of person who goes into a meeting at work and notices some details, like who’s sitting together. Now he would look for even more clueslike where people chose to sit and how it affected their level of interaction with the boss. In the future he would also pay more attention to the boss’s eye contact. Who does he look at, who does he avoid? Who are his favorites and what do they do to deserve it? Do they answer his questions, come prepared, produce results, or kiss his ass? Who does the boss call by first name versus last name? How are the rookies treated compared to the others?

To Be Street Smart... Be a people-watcher; look for the tiny little signals that reveal what people are thinking or feeling; pay attention to eye contactit says a lot about how comfortable a person is with himself, you, and a situation.

The discussion continued as a man in front of them turned and leaned over his seat. “Forgive me for interrupting,” he said, “it’s been my experience that street smart people are able to get closure quickly. They see the whole even though they are only given some of the parts. They see this, this, and this, and are able to fill in the gaps to come to a conclusion. At the same time that they see the big picture, street smart

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people are also able to focus on the small details that they need without losing sight of the big picture. This is called a Gestalt focus; it allows you to size up people and situations quickly, which is an indispensable skill no matter who you are or what you do.” “That’s true,” another man said, coming over to join the conversation. “You see, based on accumulated experiencethe good and the badthe successes and the failureswhen you meet somebody, you start to form opinions; you either like him or you don’t; you trust him or you don’t; you think he’s a crook or you think he’s trustworthy. And these judgements aren’t purely emotional. Unconsciously you search back in your databank, which tells you, ‘I once knew a guy who acted like this and he stole a $1,000 from me.’ So immediately your guard is up. “You see, from your life experiences you construct mental categories into which you fit new people and situations. On the one hand, these generalizations can create the tendency to be closed-minded and judgmental. On the other hand, they save you from being taken advantage of, wasting your time, or being naive every time a new situation arises. That’s why you have to learn by your experiences and integrate them into everything you know.” “You mentioned experience,” Charles said, “but what about someone like me who has limited experience in the big city? What can I do to learn how to see those tiny little signals, read people, and see the big picture?” “The first thing you do is you observe your environment,” he answered. “Now I’m not suggesting you walk around like you’re paranoid, looking here and there like a nervous wreck. I am saying you should focus your awareness out instead of in. Most people walk around in their own world; they're myopic. They’re so caught up in their own points of view they can’t see other perspectives.

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“If you want to see the big picture, concentrate on what’s going on around you on a moment by moment basis. You’ll be amazed what you’ll notice when you take the time to look.” “The other thing you can do is get feedback from people,” someone interjected. “At work, be more observant and, when you’ve observed something that you can get corroboration on, get it. Let me give you an example. A buddy of mine in the office, a guy about 45, was looking kind of bad for a week or so. He looked like he hadn’t slept well, he was irritable and I noticed his shirts were wrinkled, unlike before. I put two and two together and one day said to him, ‘Did you and your wife split up or something?’ He said, ‘How’d you know?’ It was simpleall the clues where there.” “Being observant and reading between the lines can help your business and personal lives,” F. Lee Bailey added. “Whether you’re involved in a complex business negotiation or a power struggle on your way up the corporate ladder, you have to be able to anticipate what people are going to do and think. To do that, you’ve got to get inside their heads by reading the signals they give; you certainly can’t wait for them to tell you. Once you’ve done that, then you make a judgment as to what to do about it. Ask yourself, if I do ‘A,’ how will this person react? If I do ‘B,’ how is he going to respond?” A woman stood up and offered her input. “Knowing how others may react is important, and the flip side of that is knowing that other people will be looking for your tiny little signals. This is especially true in a negotiation. So a street smart person knows when to play his cards close to his vest. That kind of anticipation takes place instinctually in a fraction of a second.” “The anticipation you’re describing,” another man added, “is the process of mental imaging that we all practice. If you wanted to ask your boss for a raise, before you went into his office you would mentally rehearse what you were going to say and then anticipate his answer. If you imagined a rejection, you would rephrase the

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question as many times as necessary until you heard the right answer. Then you would actually go in and talk to him.”

To Be Street Smart... Anticipate what people might do by practicing mental imaging. Also, ask yourself, “What would I do in this situation?” or “What are this person’s possible responses to this dilemma?” Once you have the answers, prepare yourself for the possibilities. This is called looking before you leap. A woman stepped forward, greeted everyone and made a comment. It was Geraldine Ferraro. “You can call it anticipation. You could also call it seeing the big picture. It means looking to the future and anticipating what you need to do now to get where you want to be. “Even when I was a kid, my goal was to eventually achieve some measure of success. To attain that goal, I knew that I was going to have to get a good education. Tuition was expensive and my family did not have the money to pay for it. At that time, Pell Grants and student loans were nonexistent. So I studied hard and earned good grades. My grades, in turn, got me scholarships and I supplemented them by working part time and during the summers. “Later in life, when I was in Congress, I looked ahead and knew I wanted to run for the Senate in 1986 against Al D’Amato. I was anticipating a problem of raising money and began doing the basic groundwork to avoid having that disqualify me from the race. I knew I had to develop a national constituency. The first step was to achieve a position of leadership in the Houseno small feat for a junior member, but the one spot that could make it possible was as Secretary of the Democratic Caucus. In 1980, I ran for it and won. That position lead to being appointed to the Hunt Commission and the Chair of the platform committee. In those positions I met with democratic

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fund-raisers across the country. The success I had on the Hunt commission and my leadership on the platform committee gave me a national reputation. If I had run for Senate I could have reached out for financial help, however, that didn’t come about because I was chosen by Fritz Mondale as his Vice-President.” They all looked up and realized a crowd had gathered. A hush came over the forward cabin. Someone from the starboard side spoke up. “I’ve had a great time eavesdropping on you guys,” the man said. “I’d like to add something. You’re talking about awareness and anticipation. Well, one thing that depresses awareness is habit. We are all creatures of habit. An exercise that will heighten your awareness is to do things differently. Make Tuesday the day you do everything contrary to the way you normally do them. When you get up in the morning, get up on the other side of the bed. Instead of showering first, have breakfast first. If you drive to work, take a different route; and so on. When you go into the office in the morning and people say, ‘Hello, how are you?’, say something different. Say, ‘I’m fantastic.’ Or ‘I feel like a pussycat in a fish store!’ Answer people differently. If you normally respond to a question by blurting out the answer, on Tuesday don’t blurt, think first. “It’s a fun exercise. By breaking the habit, even if only momentarily, you become more aware of yourself; and that is the first step to increasing your awareness of the subtlety in others.” A woman cut in. “What works for me is role-playing. It’s a marvelous exercise for acquiring new behaviors. When you change your habits on Tuesdays, as that gentleman suggested, cast yourself in a role that day. Choose a role model and ask yourself how that person would do it. When I want to be outrageous, I imagine myself as Joan Rivers. I imagine how she would respond in a given situation. It’s a confidence-builder. Any time you can step out of your normal mode of behavior and

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still be effective and accepted, you build confidence. It’s simply a matter of acting ‘as if.’ ” A man holding a child in his arms spoke up. “I teach my kids how to be aware. I’ll take them out for ice cream. When we get back to the car, I’ll ask them questions about different things that were in the store. When one of my daughters was little, I’d play a game with her when we were watching television. I’d ask her questions about what was happening behind the scenes. What state was the license plate on the car that just went down the street? What color was the car? It taught her to look beyond the focal point. I do that all the time with my children. Now when we walk into a room, the first thing they do is make mental notes. The more you do that, the more you can start putting things into categories. “And I agree that categories are very helpful if you want to be street smart. I’ll give you an example from my days in sales. When I sold security systems, I could determine the personality of the buyer in the time I walked through the front door of his house to the room where the presentation would be made. I did it by what I saw inside and outside the home. I looked at the car he drovewhat type and if it was clean. If they were serving food, what was it and who was doing the serving? How much control did they have over their children? What was the nature of the man’s relationship with his wife? What kinds of things were hanging on the walls? Diplomas and awards instead of art, I could safely assume he had a big ego. I would assimilate dozens of pieces of information in those few moments and get a pretty good sense of his personality. That’s strictly from having awareness and being perceptive. I took the time to make note and absorb because it was important. That’s something you can practice.” Another passenger picked up the thought and expounded on it. “Street smart people recognize potential problems before they happen,” she said. “Someone who is not street smart walks right into problems. I was fortunate as a child to have been

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taught about street smarts by my father. For example, I had to travel cross-country by train once. My father gave me a bunch of rules about how to deal with strangers. He pinned money to the inside of my shirt and gave me a little for my pockets. You learn not to carry all your money in one place. “This sense of caution is also relevant to adults. Most people know that when you let a valet parking attendant park your car, you never give him all your keys because your house key is on the ring. When you go on vacation, you don’t tell the world, unless you want to send out invitations to every burglar in town. “All these things sound paranoid, but they’re not. If you’re street smart you just naturally think this way. You’re always anticipating.” “Talking about anticipation,” a woman said, “that reminds me of a story I read somewhere. A young boy’s friends made fun of him because, when they offered him a nickel and a dime, he would always take the nickel. They thought he was stupid and laughed at him. One day a friend took pity on him and said, ‘Let me clue you in. The dime, even though it is smaller, is worth twice as much as the nickel. So when they offer you a nickel or a dime, you should take the dime.’ The boy’s reply was, ‘I know that, but if I ever took the dime, they’d quit offering.’ “For a youngster, that’s having a lot of insight!” the woman said. “Not only was this kid able to anticipate his peers’ behavior, he also changed the focus of their game. He took their focus off the fact that they were losing money and shifted it to his feigned stupidity. Obviously he cared more about making money than about his peers’ opinionsand that shows an incredible amount of self-esteem for a young boy.” A well-tanned gentleman stood up and voiced his opinion. "That young boy was able to see the big picture. One thing that has always been helpful to me in seeing the big picture is to try to anticipate both the best and the worst possible outcomes of a situation when making a decision. Most people are either optimists chasing a rainbow or pessimists always looking for the thundercloud. You have to do both. You

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have to have the ability to anticipate and avoid problems, but in a sense that is the negative side of foresight. The positive side of foresight is to first select appropriate goals and build a commitment to them. Once you have done that, then you need to anticipate and avoid problems.” An announcement was made that the plane would be landing soon. One more man summed up with an astute comment. “As far as awareness and foresight go, people who are street smart understand not only the direct impact of things, but also the ripple effect. They look at life the way a chess player looks at the boardalways playing the game three or four moves ahead.” Before everyone sat down, Charles spoke up, “Say everyone, this has been a real pleasure and a wonderful learning experience for me. May I feel free to call on all of you again?” There were shouts and murmurs of “Yes,” “Of course,” “Anytime.” From the back someone said, “See you in your next dream.” During the time the plane landed and taxied to the terminal Charles made notes on what he had learned so far about street smarts.

To Be Street Smart... •

Heighten your awareness. Pay attention to the environment, turn up your radar, and use your powers of observation. Look beyond the focal point.

•

Develop your ability to anticipate. Ask yourself, “What if...?” Look for the ripple effects of your actions. Think like a chess playerfive steps aheadfor possible opportunities and problems.

•

Use your experience and judgement to size-up people and situations quickly and accurately. When appropriate, don’t be afraid to make snap judgements and act.

•

Learn to trust your judgement and intuition. Keep track of your intuitive flashes as a way to improve this ability. They will improve with practice.

•

See the big picture and the small details.

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IV THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT...LEFTOVERS Confidence & Chutzpa

I

was rudely awakened by a persistent knocking on my door. I jumped up and answered it. Tom was standing there holding my newspaper. “I’ve already milked the cows, watered the pigs, and fed the chickens and you’re

just getting up!” he said. “Jeez, I must have slept through the alarm,” I said groggily, “how much time do I have?” “Ten minutes,” Tom said, pushing his way passed me and heading for the kitchen. “You get ready, I’ll make breakfast.” I hurried into the shower. It was Saturday, so I skipped shaving. Besides, I wouldn’t have to impress anyone at a high school basketball game. Five minutes later I went into the kitchen and found Tom eating a bowl of cereal and reading the sports page. “Where’s breakfast?” I asked. “Right there,” he said, pointing to a bowl, a banana, a box of cereal, and a quart of milk. “That’s fixing breakfast for me!” I said incredulously. “Don’t worry, it didn’t take long,” he said straight-faced. “You can return the favor sometime.” “I’ll be sure to do that.” We walked along the street like brothers. Tom talked nonstop about the importance of today’s basketball game and I listened, living a bit vicariously. We stopped at a corner and I was suddenly mesmerized by what was going on. Police

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barricades had blocked off the street. A film crew was preparing to shoot a scene and a crowd had gathered to catch a glimpse of the stars. I inched closer to the barricade, surrounded by hundreds of people. I lost track of Tom as I searched the set for a familiar face. Rumor had it that a police drama was being shot, but so far no one had seen any of the cast members emerge from the trailers. At one point I felt someone push hard against me. I looked around. People were beginning to resemble sardines, but I kept moving forward. About ten minutes passed. Suddenly I recognized a face on the set. It was Tom! Tom was on the set talking and laughing with Dennis Franz and Robert Clohessy! I couldn’t believe my eyes. At one point Tom turned toward me and waved, like an athlete on TV who sneaks in a “Hi Mom” on camera. A while later I heard Tom call from a distance, so I worked my way out of the crowd and back to the corner where we were last together. “Seen enough?” Tom asked pompously. “How the hell did you manage that!” I asked in disbelief as we continued walking to Tom’s school. “Piece of cake, Cheeze-whiz,” Tom smiled. “It’s called Chutzpa! You don’t get what you don’t go after!” “But...but how did you get on the set?” I asked. “There were security guards all over the place.” “Man, you can’t let little things like that get in your way,” Tom said. “I asked myselfwhat’s the one thing they probably need. The answer is coffee. So I bought a dozen cups of coffee and went to the head security guard. I told him they ran out of coffee on the set and I was the go-fer. He must have wanted a cup himself because he didn’t question me, but he didn’t want to let me on the set either! So I told him, ‘Hey, I spent my own money on this coffee, and I’m not giving it up until I get paid.” So he got some woman to pay me. Then I still wouldn’t give him the coffee. I told him I

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was the only one who knew who ordered what. At that point he just threw up his hands, grabbed a cup of coffee and told me to go ahead in. So I walked around talking to people and handing out cups of coffee. Boy, was I surprised to find out they actually did run out of coffee. Man, was I popular!” I couldn’t believe it. I had never seen such a smooth operator. Here we were in an urban jungle of 11 million people and this kid was acting as if it were his own backyard. At the next corner there was a pretzel vender. Tom stopped and looked at the pretzels, then at me. “Charles,” Tom said politely, “will you lend me a buck?” “Sure,” I said, reaching for my wallet, but my hand slapped an empty pocket. “Hey, my wallet! My wallet’s been stolen!” “You cheese-dip!” Tom said, holding up my wallet. “You are such an easy mark!” “What the hell!” I said, flabbergasted. “I thought I’d teach you a lesson,” Tom said. “You might say I picked your pocket to keep you from getting ripped-off!” “That makes a lot of sense!” I said indignantly. “About as much sense as you standing there in a crowd with a fat wallet in your pocket and your brains in New Jersey,” he snapped. “So that was you!” I barked. “I thought I felt someone fall against me, but I didn’t give it a second thought.” “Yeah, well you should have!” Tom said. “Man, never keep your wallet in your back pocket like that, especially in a crowded place. Put it in front or leave it home and carry your money loose in your front pocket. And getting mixed in with a crowd like that was pretty dumb! You were a sitting duck for all kinds of lunatics!” He certainly had a way of making a point. I felt like a jerk and must have shown it. “Cheer up, Cheese-ball!” Tom says lightheartedly, slapping me on the back.

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“Here’s your wallet. I’ll buy you a pretzel with the profit I made on the coffee.” Tom beamed as he handed the vendor the money and accepted two hot pretzels. “You want mustard?” “No, are you kidding,” I gagged. “Let me get this straight. Not only did you con your way onto the set, you also made money in the process.” “Hey, a guy’s gotta eat!” Tom said, gloating as he bit into his pretzel. “I’ll tell you something,” I said. “The day your education meets eye-to-eye with your chutzpa, you’re going to be one successful dude. We walked in silence for a while. I kept seeing an instant replay of the mob scene in my mind, remembering the exact moment when I felt the push of the little brat pickpocket. I should have paid attention! I looked at Tom and sensed he wanted to say something. “What is it? You have that look on your face.” “Another thing,” Tom said with a mouth full of salty dough. “You make yourself an easy mark just walking down the street.” “How?” I asked. “The way you walk, you look like you’re scared of your own shadow,” Tom said. “Afraid,” I corrected him. “What?” “Afraid, not scared,” I said. “Wait a minute, it’s my turn to be the teacher,” Tom continued. “The problem is you walk with your head down and you never look at anyone. Everyone knows they could take advantage of you anytime they want.” I thought about that for a moment, then Tom dropped another bomb. “You can’t be afraid of conflict. As a kid from New Yorkthe streets, basketball courts, the school yard, stickballI learned I had to show someone that’s sizing me up that I’m not going to retreat. I’m here to stay, not to run away.”

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“The way you are on the street, you’re probably the same way at work. Man, if you want to fit in, you gotta make eye contact with the people of the world; even the ones you feel threatened by. The world is a jungle and you have to look like you’re another animal. And if they’re convinced, they’ll leave you alone.” “And what if I don’t feel like I’m one of them?” I asked. “Just do it,” Tom said, “or get eaten alive.”

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When we arrived at his school I had about an hour to kill before the game. Tom went to the locker room and I wandered down a hall and found an empty classroom. I sat in a chair and closed my eyes. I thought about all that happened on the way to the school. A comment David Brenner had made during a dream came to mind. “You’ve got to fake it till you make it,” Brenner said. “I learned this from a guy when I was really young. He was funny, he said when you go out with girls when you get older, you’ll walk into a club and you won’t want your girl to know you’ve never been there. You’ll want her to think you own the place! You’re gonna have to take her coat to get checked. So you take her coat and your coat and you head towards where you think the coatroom is going to be. Now let’s say it’s not there. Let’s say it’s the men’s room you’re walking into. So you take a leak and then you walk out and you head to the second place where you think the coatroom’s going to be. And you keep doing that until you find it. Hopefully it won’t be a big restaurant. “I listened to my friend and thought, forget the restaurantthat’s what life’s all about. You head for where you think something’s going to be with an air of confidence. I found a lot of good things happened in my life because I acted all the time like, ‘Hey, I can handle it.’ My friends would say, ‘Let Brenner handle it. Brenner can handle it,’ but I didn’t know how to handle it. I was scared or as unfamiliar or uptight as everyone else, but since they said, ‘Let Brenner handle it,’ I said, ‘Okay, I’ll handle it.’ So 37

because they said I could handle it, I would act like I could handle it, eventually I got the confidence that I could handle situations and I ended up having the real ability to handle it.” I was beginning to get a handle on the concept. I looked at my watch. There was enough time for a catnap. I set my alarm and took a snooze.

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The supersonic jet taxied out to the runway where a white limousine was waiting. Charles got off the plane after realizing he was already in New York and didn’t have to fly to Tom’s basketball game. He was afraid he would be late, so he asked the limo driver to step on it. There were some other people in the limo. They, too, were in a hurry to get to the game. The man next to Tom looked familiar. “Excuse me,” Charles said to the man, “have we met?” “You’ve probably seen me on TV,” the man replied. “I’m Tom.” “Right, I’ve seen you on Johnny Carson,” Charles said, shaking his hand. “Aren’t you the comedian who slept in an abandoned car in L.A. before you made it?” “That’s me,” Dreesen said. “You have a good memory.” “I can’t imagine living like that,” Charles told him. “I would have been scared out of my mind.” “I’ve always been a street kid,” Dreesen said, “so I can survive wherever I’m put. Sleeping in an abandoned car was something I knew I could manage until my luck changed. Growing up on the streets taught me that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” “And what if you’re just developing your toughness?” Charles asked. “Do you fake it till you make it?” “Absolutely,” Dreesen said. “A street kid is more likely to say he can do something even when he doesn’t know what it’s about. For instance, if he’s asked, ‘Do you have

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any acting experience?’ he’ll say ‘Sure!’ even though his only experience was playing a lamp post in a grade school play.” “And then he’ll wing it,” Charles added. “That’s right,” Dreesen continued. “I am not the most talented comedian in the world. I’m a good comedian and I know my craft, but I have more guts than the others, the same kind of guts I had on the streets. When I got started in this business, I was half of a Black and White comedy team with Tim Reid, who played Venus Flytrap on ‘WKRP in Cincinnati.’ That took a lot of guts. There were no other Black and White comedy teams. We went to places where white people didn’t dare to go. I worked what was affectionately called, ‘the Chitlin Circuit’Black-owned, Black-operated, allBlack clubs.” “When Tim and I split up, I went out to L.A. and slept in an abandoned Rambler with the front seat down. My wife and I were separated. I was down and out with no place to go. I slept there for over a month. I went to gas stations and washed up in the morning. When I made the rounds to the agents during the day, I acted like I was the most successful guy in the world. A street kid senses you must act successful to be successful.” “In order to make it in show business, you have to be arrogant and humble. In my case, arrogant enough to believe you can walk out in front of 20,000 strangers and make them laugh; and humble enough to appreciate it when they do.” “There has to be an element of fear in performing in front of thousands of people,” Charles said. “There is, especially at first,” Dreesen said. “But you never show it. You gotta do two things. You have to have the total belief in yourself and a total commitment to yourself. Not only do you believe that you are gonna do it, but you commit yourself to it.” A man sitting on the other side of Charles leaned over and spoke.

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“It’s been my experience that cowards and heroes both feel fear intensely. I feel like a coward sometimes, but I try to act like a hero,” the man said. “By the way, I’m Robert Clohessy.” The three of them shook hands. “Confidence is so important,” Clohessy continued. “So many things get in your waythe past, family, lovers, your neighborhood, your environment, bad habitsbut you have to keep fighting through it. You gotta do what you know instinctively is right for you. That’s related to learning to love yourself as best as you can. Believe in yourself and never give up.” “When I was 28, I didn’t even have a job. That summer I was going up to the Williamstown Theater Festival (upstate New York) to work for $25 a week. I needed to do thatto be in that environment. There are a lot of people who wouldn’t make the sacrifice of working for $25 a week, either because of pride or because they’re too comfortable, but it paid off because I had a small part in a play with Blythe Danner. That fall, she asked me to play opposite her in a musical that her husband, Bruce Paltrow, directed. It just so happens Mary Tyler Moore Productions optioned the play. Right after the production, MTM flew me out to L.A. to audition for some pilots. “This is where confidence comes in. At the same time Blythe Danner made me the offer to play opposite her, I was hired by a prestigious regional theatre, the Hartford, to do a play called, ‘Distant Fire.’ I got one of the five lead roles. My agents pushed me to do it because it would establish me on the regional theater circuit. I pulled my hair out for three days and finally said, ‘Screw it, if Blythe Danner asked me to play opposite her, that’s what I’m going to do.’ And that led to coming to L.A. and getting on ‘Hill Street Blues.” “I listened to myself. Actors are so subservient to their agents because they need them so badly. Saying no to the first job my first agent got me took a lot of guts. And it was the right choice. I made those kinds of choices along the way, where I reached

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down and did what I felt was right. That’s chutzpah, that’s courage, that’s sticking up for what’s right for you. Not in a selfish way; just in a way that feels right.” “Chutzpa,” Charles mumbled. “There’s that word again.” “Chutzpayou can call it ‘guts,’ ‘nerve,’ courage,” Tom Dreesen said. “Let me tell you a story about chutzpa. I wanted to be on a show called ‘Sammy and Company’ with Sammy Davis, Jr. I knew if he saw my comedy act he’d like me. It was just a gut feeling I had. My agent tried to get me on the show, but they didn’t want me. They wanted bigger names like Cosby. I begged her to keep trying. Finally, they had a cancellation on the show and called her to see if she had a comedian. She said, “Please use Tom Dreesen.” The producer said, ‘Oh, for God’s sake, send him.’ They had a lot of people on the show that day. They put me on toward the very end. The producer said to me, ‘I saw the tape of your first ‘Tonight Show.’ Don’t do any of that material about being raised in a predominantly Black neighborhood.’ “That material was exactly what I had planned to do; a whole routine about what it was like being the only white kid on an all-black basketball team; how the white girls jumped rope and cheered versus how the black girls did it; stuff from my childhood. Five minutes before going on I told him, ‘That’s what I’m planning to do.’ The producer said ‘No, I don’t want you doing that. Johnny’s a white host, Sammy’s black.’ I told him, ‘That doesn’t make any difference. I’ve worked in black night clubs.’ Anyone else would have backed down and done different material. He could have kicked me off the show, but he probably figured, ‘Oh hell, we’re taping this show, I’ll edit the guy out.’ I walked out on stage, did that material and afterwards went to sit on the couch with everyone. Sammy was falling on the floor laughing. On the air, he said, ‘How would you like to go on the road with me?’ I ended up going on the road with him as his opening act for over two years.” A woman seated next to them added an interesting comment. “There’s no denying that street smart people have a lot of moxie and will do things that others

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might shy away from, ” she said. “But the thing about chutzpah isit can be overdone. Some people are turned off by the appearance of too much chutzpah. No one likes arrogance. So it’s important to have chutzpa and the effectiveness it brings, but don’t show it too much. Over-sellers often miss sales as much as those who undersell.” The limo pulled up outside the high school and Charles could already hear the crowd cheering. They had arrived just in time.

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The roar of the crowd woke me up before the alarm went off. I raced for the gym and got there in time to see the opening toss. It was a close game from start to finish. Tom’s team won by two points and Tom was carried out on his teammates’ shoulders for sinking the winning shot from the half court line with one second left on the clock. A couple of days later I was at work, sitting by the phone, trying to figure out how to get through to a bank President who had been too busy to see me for the last month. I was trying to structure a joint financing deal for a client and had hit this roadblock. On a whim, I grabbed my coat and told my boss I would be back in a while. I went to the nearest flower shop and bought a nice flower arrangement. I took a cab crosstown to the bank and went up to the president’s office. I already knew his secretary from innumerable phone conversations. “Joan, I’m Charles Green,” I said. “Ah, the man behind the persistent voice,” Joan said, extending her hand. “And to what do I owe this visit?” “These are for you,” I said, handing her the flowers. “for being so nice and helpful on the phone. And I have to admit, I was hoping to catch everyone off guard and actually get in to see him.” 42

“You know how it is,” she said glancing at his calendar, “he’s booked solid.” “What if you told him I’m here and am willing to sit and wait until eight o’clock if necessary,” I said. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said sincerely. “He doesn’t like to be pressured like that, but let me go in and talk to him.” She went into his office and returned a few minutes later with a smile. “He said to give you an appointment for Friday. Can you make it at one?” “I would be here at one in the morning if he wanted!” I said buoyantly. She thanked me for the flowers and I thanked her for the appointment. Hot dog! I was one step closer to the deal. During the cab ride back to the office I jotted down some thoughts.

To Be Street Smart... 1. You have to be confident. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one will. 2. Street Smart people have an air of confidence. In some situations you have to fake it till you make it. All the world’s a stagechoose your role. 3. Confidence and trusting your intuition go hand-in-hand. The more you do of one, the more the other develops. 4. You can’t be afraid to do or say what you believe in. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. 5. Stretch the limits of your normal behavior by doing something unusual once in a while, especially something that takes chutzpa. 6. Know the difference between confident and arrogance. Too much chutzpa can be as bad as too little.

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V I’M OKAY, YOU I’M NOT SURE ABOUT Healthy Skepticism

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bout a week later Tom and I were walking home after seeing an actionpacked “B” movie. We passed a store that had banners and flags promoting a “Going Out Of Business Sale.” There was a stereo

blasting rock music and a hawker standing at the entrance encouraging passers-by to come in and save 50 to 75 percent. “Drastic Reductions! Easy credit! Extended warranties! Save Save Save!” I grabbed Tom by the arm and pulled him toward the store. “Come on, I want to buy a VCR,” I shouted over the din. “Are you kidding,” he said as he stopped and resisted my pull. “That’s not the place to buy anything!” “Why not?” I asked. “You told me never to pay full price for anything. This place looks great!” “Come on,” he said, continuing to walk home. “Don’t believe everything you see and hear. That place has been going out of business for years. Never trust a place like that! Everyone knows their prices are jacked up and then discounted to what they should be. There are no bargains in this world.” “You are so cynical,” I said. “I know all about that stuff,” he said. “I have an aunt who is a sucker for every scam that comes down the road. My father and mother used to fight about her. She used to get taken advantage of and my mother would want to bail her out by sending money. After about the tenth time my father said, ‘No more money! The only way she’s gonna

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learn is if she has to get out of these messes herself.’ I learned a lot listening to them fight.” A soccer ball came rolling down the sidewalk, Tom gave it a swift kick. It sliced and almost crashed through someone’s window. “My father used to tell me, “Don’t trust anyone who carries a briefcase, never do business with a pipe smoker, and don’t play pool with anyone named “Doc.” “I don’t get it,” I said as we turned the corner. “A guy with a briefcase is gonna want everything in writing,” he continued, “and you won’t be able to take his word for anything. A pipe smoker can’t make a decision. He’s got to clean his pipe, stuff it, light it, chew on it, and take three weeks to think things over. A guy named Doc, I guess that’s just from the old Cowboy moviesthe pool hustlers were always named Doc.” We came to our apartment building and found Tom’s mother, Jacquie, sitting on the stoop reading Cosmopolitan. It was a balmy afternoon so the three of us sat outside, drank iced tea, and talked until dusk. “Jacq,” I said, “Tom and I were just talking about how cynical he is. Would you say that’s a good way to be in the big city?” “I don’t think it’s cynicism,” she said. “I would call it healthy skepticism, and, yes, I think it’s a good way to be. After all, there are few things you can accept on face value. Sad to say, but there are a lot of scams going on out there. Skepticism is just part of discerning the sincere from the insincere, the good deals from the cons. Would you rather be naive?” “No,” I replied. “So how do you learn to trust people?” “You give them time to prove themselves,” she said. “A lot of the people you run across, especially in business, have hidden agendas. Even though people are working for the same company or on the same project, they may be looking out for

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themselves first. The world is full of opportunists and a lot of them will stab you in the back for a promotion or they’ll take credit for something you did.” “I’ve seen that happen already,” I told her. “I worked on an account with a guy and found out later he was taking our client out for drinks and to the theatre behind my back. It was supposed to be a team effort, but he only cared about making himself look like a super-star.” “That’s what I’m talking about,” Jacquie said. “And if you think back, part of it may be your fault.” “How could it have been my fault?” I said defensively. “Maybe it’s wasn’t, but people are often their own worst enemy,” she said. “They will tell their whole story and, basically, they’re letting it be known where they’re vulnerable.” “So what can you do to protect yourself?” I asked. “The first thing is to keep your mouth shut,” she continued. “Say less. Then think from the other guy’s point of view. Ask yourself, “What could this person want from me? Where am I leaving myself open?” Tom spoke up. “My father once said to me, ‘there are a lot of people who, if you give them enough rope, they’ll hang themselves.’ ” “Gee, I think I’ve heard that before,” I said. “Six months after he left my mom,” Tom continued, “she starting seeing this guy who everyone liked. But I didn’t like him from the get-go. I thought about it a lot, but kept feeling like I couldn’t trust him. Everyone else said, ‘You never trust anybody.’ Yeah, that’s partially true, but there are some people I trust less than others, and this guy, I got a gut feeling about him that he couldn’t be trusted. Everyone said, ‘but he’s so nice’ and I said, ‘that’s one of the reasons I don’t like him.’ He was too nice. I was suspicious of his generosity. He was trying too hardalways giving me stuff and flattering me. It made me sick. Anyway, about a year went by. He started asking my

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mother and her friends to invest in a business he was starting. Hot new idea! This dude was going to be the next Mrs. Fields’ Cookies. My mother and I talked about it and she decided she wouldn’t give him a dime, but other people did and he ripped them off.” “There’s a little more to it than that,” Jacquie said. “He wanted me to co-sign a loan. He gave me guarantees that everything was kosher, but I told him no. I didn’t even have a gut feeling about it because my emotions were getting in the way. But I looked at the situation and imagined myself a year later looking back on the events and I realized it was all too predictable. It had all the makings of a scam. “I always think about what my entanglements with people could do to me. The minute I get into something I immediately also figure out how I’m going to get out of it. Like Tom said, you have to slowly give people enough rope to hang themselves. It’s a waiting game to see if they’re going to fly or fall. The ones that fly become your friends.” “So you can’t judge a book by its cover,” I added. “No,” Jacquie said, “you have to see what’s underneath and sometimes that takes time. But that doesn’t mean you withhold judgement every time you meet someone. Part of having healthy skepticism is relying on your intuition and using the thousands of little generalizations you carry around with you. Imagine yourself at work. If you’re interviewing a man for a job and he hasn’t shaved for the interview, right away you have to listen to that voice inside that’s saying, ‘This guy’s a flake. If he doesn’t have the smarts to shave, I don’t care what his resume says. He may think he's Don Johnson, but he’s applying for a business position, not an acting job.’ “In a way that’s unfair because you’re judging the book by its cover, but on the other hand, it’ll keep you from making poor decisions, wasting your time, or being taken advantage of.”

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“So sizing people up sometimes requires only a snap judgement and other times you have to give a person time to show his or her true colors,” I said. “Absolutely. It depends on what’s at stake,” Jacquie agreed. “If someone is being interviewed for an important position, you take the time, do your due diligence. But if someone is interviewing for the mail room, your standards are much lower, so you spend less time and make the decision faster.” “It’s a big problem these days,” I said, “companies getting burned by employees misrepresenting their backgrounds. Or they have the credentials, but are psychologically undesirable. Managers really need a good system for ferreting out the phonies.” “My boss has an interesting system,” Jacquie said. “There are tests available to determine whether a person is basically straight, but the test can’t tell you if he’s a compulsive gambler or if he’s been married six times. His instability doesn’t come out. So my boss applies his own little test. He ends an interview by saying, ‘I sure have enjoyed our chat. What I like about you is that you are a real straightforward, sayit-like-it-is guy.’ “Whether he’s been straight or not, my boss gives him credit for being honest. Then he says, ‘I think you’re the kind of guy we want, but I have one question for you and, because you are so straightforward, I know you will answer honestly, okay?’ And then he says, ‘What is the one thing about you that you least want me to know about?’ And then he shuts up and watches the guy squirm. If the guy says ‘nothing,’ my boss figures he’s lying, therefore, he’s destroyed his credibility. Most of the time that doesn’t happen. Everybody has something to hide. So guess what they say? They bring up the one thing they don’t want you to know. They’ll wiggle, cough, and say, ‘I suppose maybe the fact that I have a couple of drinks at night, but I don’t drink to excess.’ Then you know the guy’s a drunk. Or ‘I like to play poker on Friday nights,’ then you know he’s a compulsive gambler. Or ‘Oh, I suppose if someone over-paid me ten dollars at

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the lunch counter, I wouldn’t give it back.’ Then you know he’s a thiefhe’ll rob you blind. They will tell you!” “That’s quite a system,” I said. “Does it work?” “It works great,” she said proudly, “my boss has one of the best staffs in New York.” “Including you.” “Especially me!” The three of us got up to go inside. I turned to Tom. “Ready to go over your English homework tonight?” “I sure is,” he said with his best poker face.

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Later that night I microwaved a gourmet frozen dinner and read my snail mail and e-mail. There was a lot of junk. I had offers for credit cards, magazine subscriptions, insurance, merchandise, and get-rich-working-at-home offers. I engaged my newly acquired healthy skepticism and tossed them all. As Tom had said, there are no bargains in this world. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. I felt very peaceful as I slid into bed, despite the pounding outside my windowsomeone on the street was playing a car stereo too loud. Any other night I would have shouted an obscenity out the window, if Tom hadn’t beat me to it. Tonight, however, I didn’t want to spoil my inner calm. I thought about the nice chat with Tom and Jacquie that afternoon. They were beginning to feel like my New York family. I liked that. I also appreciated them for helping me learn about street smarts. It’s great being able to learn from someone else’s experience; and, as I was discovering, if you pay attention, you can learn even more from your own. I took out a piece of paper and jotted down the essence of our sidewalk session:

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To Be Street Smart... 1. Street smart people have a healthy skepticism, which makes them hard to take advantage of. 2. There are times when making a snap judgement is appropriate. 3. There are times when you withhold judgement and commitment to give the full picture a chance to unfold and reveal its hidden features. With time, people show their true colors. 4. Stereotypes and generalizations are useful. They serve as data for sizing-up people and situations. They point out a certain probability of events or behaviors occurring based on past patterns. They help you make decisions quickly and keep you out of trouble. You have to know when you are invoking them, however, to avoid being prejudiced or unfair. 5. Being hard to take advantage of has to be balanced with knowing when to give in. You don’t want to be unyielding and lose opportunities. Sometimes, if you give an inch, you gain a mile. The music outside continued as I turned off the light and went to sleep.

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VI

THINK FAST! Resourcefulness

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he jet landed in Los Angeles after a ten minute flight from New York. There were many limousines waiting outside the plane. Charles got into the one that had his name spray painted like graffiti on the side.

He was taken to a television studio in Burbank and given a ticket for a talk show. Once inside, Charles realized he was in the audience of the Patrick McDougall show, a Phil Donahue clone. The guest host was Charles’ neighbor, Tom! He was grown up and starting to gray slightly. Tom’s success did not come as a surprise to Charles. He knew there would be no stopping him once he combined his street smarts with a formal education. Today’s show was a panel discussion on, you guessed it, Street Smarts. The technicians were making last minute audio checks on the microphones. It was three minutes to airtime. Charles looked around and saw all kinds of people in the audience. There were young and old people who appeared to be from all walks of life. He thought, Dr. Sternberg was right, street smarts is something everyone can gain from. The show began with its theme song, “The Street Smarts Samba.” The studio director cued Tom that it was show time. He faced the camera and posed his hypothetical question to the home viewers. “I want you to imagine this: You’re vacationing in a large American city. One night you and your spouse decide to go out for a very fancy dinner. The two of you are dressed to the nines and start driving to the restaurant. Suddenly your rental car sputters and threatens to die. You pull off the highway and desperately search for a

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gas station. You find none. The car dies and there you are in a ghetto. To make matters worse, there are three gang members standing on the corner looking like vultures waiting to swoop down on you for their evening meal. What would you do? We’re going to find out the answer on today’s show. We have with us in the studio some of the most street smart people in Los Angeles. Will you look at who’s here: Steve Allen; David Brenner; F. Lee Bailey; Tom Dreesen; Dennis Franz; Wayne Arnold, with the Drug Enforcement administration; Frank Collura, a former Chicago cop; and who knows who else will call in. We’ll be back in minute.” During the commercial break the panel members talked amongst themselves and decided, because the show was only an hour, they would limit the discussion to one aspect of street smartsresourcefulness. After the commercial, David Brenner broke the ice. “You gotta be able to think on your feet. In the situation you just described, you have to think fast and get those guys on your side right away. Distract them from eyeing your thousand-dollar suit and your girl’s diamond watch. So you jump out and you say, ‘Hey, any of you guys good with cars?’” Tom nodded in agreement. “That’s what I would do. Right away you get them on your side and you create an atmosphere of competition amongst them. You’re also boosting their macho images of themselves because everyone knows real men know how to fix cars.” Steve Allen picked up the ball. “What we’re talking about here is resourcefulness. Street smart people are glib. They’re good ad-libbers. For me, I can trace it back to my childhood. My mother and father were a Vaudeville comedy team. We moved around a lot and I attended 18 schools, which had its pluses and minuses. One advantage, in retrospect, was that I was constantly being dropped by parachute, so to speak, into enemy territory. So I learned to land on my feet and immediately set up shop; and I kept discovering talents I had never even thought of two weeks before.

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Unlike everyone else, I didn’t have friends for twelve years, but on the other hand, I did get experience ingratiating myself and meeting new people and somehow fitting myself in a conscious way.” “Sure,” Tom said, “when you’re the new kid in the class you have to impress everyone right away. You do that either by beating the crap out of them or making them laugh. With a class of 30 kids, it’s much more efficient to crack a joke.” “You have to be able to wing it,” Steve Allen continued, “that ability served me well later when I ended up doing talk show duty in television. It also doesn’t hurt if your specialization in comedy is ad-lib, as mine was.” “When the pressure is on, you have to be able to keep your cool,” Wayne Arnold said. “In a tight situation, a lot of people think, ‘how can I get out of this situation,’ and that’s all they think about. It closes down their options. You can’t shut down; you have to go with the flow of the situation, which often means staying there and working with your environment, namely the people who are thrust in your face. “I busted a guy once and my story for getting to him was that somebody at a bar sent me to his house. I was supposed to drive up to his house and he would hand the drugs out of his window. I wasn’t suppose to get out of my car. Anyway, I pulled up and I called his name, he leans out the window and I told him Shorty sent me. He said, ‘He did? ‘and I said ‘Yeah, I want to get an eighth.’ He says ‘I got it, but I haven’t packaged it up yet, come in.’ “Instead of following my instincts, which were telling me I shouldn’t do this, I got into my role. When you’ve been in this business for a while, you start to be somebody else, you get to lie pretty well. So I went into the house. He opened these steel bars behind his door, then locked them behind him after I entered. I thought, ‘Why is this guy locking the bars?’ He said, ‘Have a seat, I’ll be right back.’ I was in the kitchen and I heard a dog growling in the other room. The dealer returned with a pistol in his hand

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and says ‘I don’t know you man.’ I said ‘Well, Shorty sent me.’ He says, ‘Well, wait a minute. Where is Shorty?’ “I said, ‘He’s at the bar down the street.’ I didn’t know if he was there! The dealer said, ‘Let me get him on the phone.’ Now realizeI didn’t know Shorty. The dealer called the bar and got the guy on the phone. He said, ‘Who is this guy you sent over here? I don’t even know him.’ Then he took the phone away from his ear and says, ‘This guy says he doesn’t know you.’ The first thing that flashed into my mind was that I couldn’t get to my gun fast enough. This guy had a pistol in his hand pointed at me. So I winged it and said, ‘Let me talk to him!’ I stood up and quickly grabbed the phone and started talking to Shorty as if I knew him. I started cursing him out. ‘Goddamit, man, what are you doing to me! This guy’s got a gun. Are you crazy.’ So suddenly the dealer must have been convinced that I knew Shorty because he started to relax. I saw him relax. I handed him back the phone. When he got back on the phone, he turned his back on me and that gave me the second I needed to get my gun and bust him.” It was a great story. Tom grasped the silence that followed, “And on that note, we’ll take a break.” During the commercial the discussion continued. Frank Collura shared one of his war stories. “After I left the Chicago police force, I was working undercover in Palm Springs. One night I was taking two dealers to meet another dealer in the middle of the desert to make a buy. They all had guns. I had stuck my new miniature walkie-talkie under the seat, but I forgot to turn it off! Meanwhile, the tail car came up behind me, and ‘Suspect is turning right on Tahquitz-McCollum’ came booming out from the walkietalkie under my seat! The guy in the back seat stuck a gun to my head and said, ‘You’re dead, fucker.’ So I turned on the other guy, who was a friend of the first, and said, ‘Do you believe this shit? He’s pulling a fast one. We’ve got a narc in the back

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seat. He sticks a transmitter under the seat and then wants to lay it on me. Do you believe this asshole!’ I laid the blame on him and I got away with it! We argued for a while, accusing each other until finally it got to be a standoff. We concluded that narcs had bugged the car, and that the motion of the car had popped the transmitting button out so that it would receive. I pulled it off, and we later indicted both men. And like Wayne, it was quick thinking that saved my life.” The director cued Tom and they were back on the air. “We’re in Los Angeles talking about street smarts,” Tom said. “Go ahead caller.” “You guys are obviously street smart,” the caller said, “but how does a guy learn to be resourceful?” “How do you develop your resourcefulness?” F. Lee Bailey answered. “By using one’s imagination and not being a slave to the teachings of others who insist that ‘this is the way we have always done it.’ That is the bureaucrat’s war cry. You’ve got to get used to the notion that, even though you could be ridiculed for it initiallyas many inventors and other great minds have beenit is a good idea to think up new methods to attack old problems.” “You have to use your imagination and creativity and have the confidence to think things out and, if they make sense, go forward with them. Don’t ask big brother for advice. In the two environments that are my passions, criminal law and flying, there is no time to talk to big brother anyway.” A man in the audience stood up. Tom ran to him with the microphone. “One way to become more resourceful is to expect it of yourself. Much in the same way you would expect it of others. As an employer, I find that it’s just a matter of letting people make decisions and putting them in situations in which they have to find their own solutions. Here’s a simple example: My secretary comes in and says, “We’ve got a problem here.” What she’s really trying to do is give me the problem. I have a rule, which is to

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always ask, “What do you recommend I do?” My attitude is, ‘don’t walk into my office to tell me about a problem without first having thought it through and figured out what you would do.’ A lot of people are willing to identify a problem, but aren’t used to being asked for a solution. If you get into the habit of thinking things through, you become more resourceful.” “That sounds like good advice to me,” Tom said, “think for yourself! Is the caller there?” “Good morning,” the caller said, “I believe resourcefulness is probably the most critical element of success, but one of the biggest problems in business today is that people tend to find a comfort zone and get bogged down in it, which is not conducive to being resourceful. To be resourceful, you may have to do something slightly out of the ordinary.” Tom pointed the microphone at the man in the audience who spoke previously. “Street Smart people are not afraid to step out of the pack and solve a problem creatively,” he said. “They are lateral thinkers; they learn to look at things from different angles.” “It is also important to have some level of success,” the caller continued. “If you want people to be resourceful, you’ve got to have them try it and see it work. So a good management technique is to encourage employees to be resourceful and creative. Give them role models. Let them rub shoulders with people who are innovative.” “Part of resourcefulness is persistence. It’s one thing to be creative and look at things from many angles, but sometimes it’s simply a matter of persisting until you find the right solution.” Tom Dreesen offered his insight. “Persistenceit’s often the difference between comedians that make it and those who don’t. A lot of guys I started out with fell by the wayside. They were just as funny and talented as I was, but they didn’t have my kind of

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persistence. If you’re going to survive in this jungle, you have to be tough, you have to be glib, you have to be able to think on your feet.” “You learn those things when you’re a kid and there’s a bully in the neighborhood and you know he’s gonna kick your ass every time he sees you. One day you say to yourself, ‘I can’t whip this guy, but even if he whips me every time, I’m going to make sure he knows he’s been in a fight. Every time he fights me, I’m going to give it my utmost.’ After a while, this cat’s going to leave you alone. If for no other reason than he’s going to get tired of getting hit. That’s what persistence isyou keep punching away.” “Let me tell you something,” David Brenner began, “there’s nothing glamorous about street fighting, but it does give you a certain inner fortitude. I had my first street fight when I was four and a half years old! When I was older, I was lucky ‘cause I was funny, so I got out of a lot of fights. You make a guy laugh, and he says, ‘this guy’s funny, let’s let him go.’ But I had so many fights. It was such a natural thing. I once thought, ‘some people don’t fight? I mean there are people that don’t punch?’ And I wondered, ‘there’s a world like that? Where the hell is that world?’” “What you said about fighting building character is true,” Tom said. “I shined shoes all night long as a kid. On the way home, they tried to take my money, and they did take my money a couple of times. My father said, ‘You better learn how to fight.’ He never said, ‘Here’s more money.’ “I think any adversity builds character,” Tom added, “but we don’t want to advocate belligerence. The point isstreet smart people are persistent. We have another caller…” “Yes, I agree with everything that’s been said, but I’d like to add one qualifier. Street smart people also know when to stop persisting. You have to know when it’s okay to give upwhen you’re not going to make the sale, for example. In the case of a business, you have to know when to stay in there and fight and when to jump off a

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sinking ship. In real life, only a fool goes down with the ship. Like Kenny Rogers said, ‘You have to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.” A man stood up in the audience. Tom ran over to him as he thanked the caller. “If you’re not persistent,” the man said, “you may settle for mediocrity. Persistence means you don’t settle.” “What I’m hearing,” Tom said, “is that street smart people think quickly on their feet and they’re persistent. I’m afraid we’re giving the impression that they’re a bunch of cowboys making decisions by the seats of their pants. What about the other side of the coin?” “Absolutely,” F. Lee Bailey said. “Being prepared is a large part of ityou can be as street smart as you want, but if you haven’t done your homework, it isn’t going to help you much. Then you’re constantly getting into trouble and using your resourcefulness to get you out, when you should be using it to get the advantage instead of always playing catch-up.” “I have a dramatic way of driving home the need for preparedness in court. I usually shock my young attorneys by grabbing their notes away before they do their first cross-examination. If they don’t know their witness well enough by then, they shouldn’t be standing up in court. It’s like throwing someone out of a boat to teach him to swim.” “In business you can only bluff so far,” Frank Collura added. “You really need to be prepared. It can’t be all hype. You have to be able to back yourself up with facts.” “I pulled off a coup in business and it’s because I did my homework. After I retired from police work I was in the home security business and wanted to expand. With very limited formal education, I had to go to Westinghouse to negotiate a franchise. So I went to the library and became an expert on franchising and forming corporations. I found out what would be the most attractive corporate structure to attract financing and limit liability. When I met with Westinghouse I knew the facts and I knew what

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questions to ask. That was as important as any of the R & D I had done to develop my security system.” “Whenever possible, have the facts. Street smarts teaches you that, when you’re talking big businessmillion dollar dealsyou can’t bluff your way for very long. You need to seek out information on your own, particularly if you don’t have the financial resources for expert advice. Be prepared. That’s the bottom line.” “I believe we have a caller,” Tom said. “Go ahead.” “Being prepared can be something as simple as having the ability to communicate with people,” the man said. When I was young I spent a year studying and traveling in Europe. I hitchhiked everywhere. I didn’t have the money for train fare. All the other hitchhikers were wearing old army fatigues and knapsacks. Not me! I wore my Brooks Brothers suit and carried a leather valise. I got the rides. I made it from Paris to Oslo in two days, which is incredible! On my way back to Paris from Norway, on the outskirts of Berlin, there was a post where you were supposed to stand if you were a hitchhiker. Well, there was a line of ten people, mostly Americans, waiting for rides. I looked at that line and thought, ‘No way!’ A hundred yards up the road was a gas station. I went to the gas station. As I walked up, in pulled a Citroen with an “F” on the back. As the driver stepped out, I approached him and, in French, asked if he minded if I got a lift with him. He said, ‘but of course, get in.’ Well, an American saw me getting a ride. He came running over and asked, ‘Excuse me sir, may I get a ride?’ and the Frenchman said, ‘Sorry, I don’t speak English.’ And away we went.” Tom chimed in. “So you have to be prepared, able to speak the other guy’s language, and if necessary, you have to wing it if your plans go astray.” A woman stood up in the audience. Tom ran to her and presented the microphone with a flourish. “There’s a sayingwhen you go on vacation, take twice the money and half the clothes. Well, in my experience, if you’re going into business,

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also take twice the back-up and half the ideas. The back-up is money and people. Success in business is usually not due to one person, although one person usually gets the credit.” “That ties in with another form of resourcefulness,” Tom Dreesen added. “One of the things a street kid learns at a very early age is that you don’t have the answers to everything. So you surround yourself with people who do. And you pay them. You can’t do it all. A street kid knows you have to dig into your pocket to get by. If I want to succeed, I go as far as I can with my intellect and my chutzpah, and then I pay people to take me further down the line; a lawyer, a manager, a publicist. Don’t try to do it all yourself; and have the people you hire checked out. I have an accountant and a business manager. The accountant checks on my business manager. My lawyer watches both of them. It’s my own set of checks and balances. If I’m going to do business with you, I’ll find out who you’ve dealt with and talk to them.” A man in the audience took over. “I’m in the advertising business. There are a couple of things in business, and in life, that are important regarding peoplecredibility and credit. Credibility is a matter of personal integrity. Credit is a matter of planting seeds because you never know which ones are going to grow. A businessperson is only as powerful as his contacts. Years ago I was hired by the symphony of a large city to boost subscription sales. One of the first things I did was go to the number one radio station in that city and see the Vice President and General Manager. He owed me a favor. You see, 20 years ago, as a kid, he was a new salesman for a radio station in the Midwest. I had just opened up a market in his area for the Evelyn Woods Speed Reading course. Sometimes when I’m buying airtime I’ll ask for the newest salesman. I found this guy who was on the job for one week and, in one fell swoop, I made him the number one salesman. He never forgot me.”

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“Another time I got to the Mayor of a city through the publisher of that city’s major newspaper because I had helped his daughter find a job three years before that. You’ve got to make contacts and use them. One powerful way to do that is to always be willing to do favors for people. That’s what the Godfather did, and we all know how powerful he was.” “Is the caller there?” Tom interjected. “Yes, hello,” came the caller’s response. “Quickly, please,” Tom barked, “we have to break for a commercial.” “I just want to say that, historically, successful people have been those who have allies; and their success has been in direct proportion to the enormity of their following. That’s why support groups are important.” “And we’ll be right back, Tom said.” During the commercial break a woman stood up in the audience and Tom gave her the microphone. “Support groups are wonderful ways to learn,” she said. “What better way to learn to be street smart than to find someone who is already street smart and use that person as a role model. You can do it from a distance or, preferably, with that person’s cooperation. Think of how much you could learn if you had a mentor whom you could ask anything.” A man stood up and added, “I’m not disagreeing with what that woman just said, but I honestly believe one thing that sets street smart people apart is they don’t have the dependency on support groups that other people have. Some people can’t function without a support group. Street smart people have the guts to face things alone. Sure, they like to have the support group, but it’s just icing on the cake.” “And we’re in Los Angeles, welcome back,” Tom said as the show was live again. Tom Dreesen put things in perspective. “Street kids are some of the most flexible people around. They can work alone; they can have a support groupit doesn’t matter. I’ve always felt that I’m one of those guys that will survive wherever you put me.

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I remember when I joined the Navy. The thought of going out to sea for 60 days was very strange. I wondered, ‘how will I stand it out there?’ But the moment that ship pulled away from the pier, I adjusted to the environment. I learned that I can adapt to almost any environment on a moment’s notice.” “Adaptability means several things,” a man in the audience said. “It means you don’t fight life. If you’re stuck in a situation that you don’t like and can’t change, you make the best of it. But adaptability also means you’re flexible with people. Street smart people are excellent communicatorsthey know how to play an audience, whether it’s one person or a thousand. They know when they need to be chameleons.” “I’ll never forget it. When I was young, I drove a beer truck for my father from the age of 16 to 21. I learned a lot about psychology from my father, who taught me some very funny lessons. One time he was showing me my route, and one day we pulled into a little dive of a beer joint and he said, ‘I want you to watch what happens in here.’ We walked in and my dad says, ‘Well, how the hell are ya, Bob? What’s going on?’ It was a real earthy conversation with lots of expletivesand my father wasn’t one to swear a lot. We walked out and my dad said, ‘Well, what did you learn in there?’ I said, ‘Well, I don’t know, I just thought you were kind of a different person than usual.’ Seven or eight stops later, we were at an exclusive country club. My father walked up to the general manager and said, ‘How do you do, John, it’s good to see you today.’ They talked a little about golf and the stock market. When we came out, he asked me, ‘What did you learn?’ I said, ‘Well, I sure learned you’re a different person here than you were at the other place.’ He said, ‘The lesson for today is knowing when to say ‘shit’ in public.” “If you adapt your communication to the people you’re with, you’ll fit in anywhere. It’s not being dishonestit’s being sensitive, understanding, and flexible.”

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Tom added a thought or two. “When I think of a street smart person, I don’t think of someone who is necessarily sensitive or diplomatic. In fact, I think of someone who is not afraid to bulldoze his way through life.” Dennis Franz coughed and commented. “It’s both. The classic tough guy image of street smarts, like that brooding Mickey Rourke type, is really not valid. There are a lot of women I know who are street smart. The hard edge that you referred to, Tom, is merely an outer skin that you wear in order to survive, especially in my line of work, show business. As an actor, you have to be sensitive, but at the same time you have to have a hard skin because there is so much rejection. How do you do it? You have to let it roll off your back and not take it personally. It’s a Catch-22 type of business. Your attitude has to be, ‘I know and they don’t. One of these times somebody’s going to see what I know is there.’“ “Rolling with the punches is the only game in town,” David Brenner interjected. “I mean there is no way you can beam up. You’re here. It’s the only game in town. So you play it out because you don’t always have a choice. I think that’s what life’s all about.” “Another aspect of flexibility is the willingness to compromise,” Geraldine Ferraro said. “My life has been quite varied, with lots of different careers. At each stage, I’ve become more of a street person. What I mean by that is, inasmuch as I consider myself smart and I love to learn, I don’t consider myself an intellectual. I’m a pragmatist. When push comes to shove, I want to see concrete results. I won’t sacrifice my morals or my standards to achieve a goal, but I will take less and figure, with time and patience, I’ll eventually get it all. That’s hardly an approach about which great books are written, but it works, and I’m realistic enough and street smart enough to recognize that.”

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“We’re almost out of time,” Tom said. He turned to the panel. Why don’t we quickly sum it up? We’ve been talking about that aspect of street smarts that we call resourcefulness. And we could say being resourceful means...” “Thinking quickly on your feet.” “Being creative and seeking your own solutions.” “Being persistent.” “Doing your homework and being prepared.” “Surrounding yourself with experts.” “Making and using personal contacts.” “Being flexible and adaptable.” “Being able to talk to anyone.” “A willingness to compromise.” “Rolling with the punches.” Tom turned to the camera. “And there you have it!” See you on the street corner.” The theme song came up, credits rolled.

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VII

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE? IT’S ONLY MONEY Risk-Taking & Learning By Your Mistakes

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aking up in the morning had become a new adventure. Each day I looked forward to what I might learn on my new mission. I hopped out of bed and went through my routine with a new energy.

Work seemed like more of a challenge than drudgery. I was seeing my tasks with

a fresh perspective. At five o’clock my boss complimented me on my productive day and, being Friday, we headed to the pub for happy hour. After chatting about work, there was a moment of silence. The VP of marketing joined us, so I took the opportunity to thank him for encouraging me to be open to the lessons my dreams offered. “If it weren’t for your encouragement,” I told him, “I probably would have regarded my dreams as nonsense. Now I know better, in fact, I’ve learned some incredible lessons lately.” “Don’t give me the credit,” he said. “You’re to be complimented for admitting your ignorance when you told us you wanted to become more street smart. Sometimes the hardest part of learning something new is admitting you don’t know it. “And that’s something you can say about street smart people. They are willing to stick their necks out and take risks. They assess a situation to minimize risk, but they also realize that risk is an unavoidable part of getting ahead in life.” “I’ve had my share of flops,” I said. “Are you kidding,” he said, “you’ve only just begun! Keep taking risks and making mistakes. You learn far more from your failures than from your successes. When you 65

succeed at something, you don’t stop to think about what you did and how you did it right. You take successes for granted because most of what you do in life is successful, but failures stand out as monumental, they happen so rarely. Those are the learning opportunities. You have to blow it a few times before you learn how to do it right. But if you keep blowing it, it’s because you haven’t gone back and looked at your failures with an open mind.” We ordered another round and he continued on his roll. “In fact, too much success creates arrogance. Arrogance creates more failure than incompetence does. Take CEO’s who are successful at one company and then bomb at another. The reason that happens is they maximize the fit between themselves and the first organization over a period of years. Then they try to carry over the things that worked in the old job, but they don’t work in the new one. They actually end up getting in their own way.” “Why do they do that?” I asked. “These are intelligent, experienced people who should know better.” “So often the problem with adults is attitude,” my boss added. They feel they know it all and that gets in the way of learning new things. They think because they’ve been doing something for 20 years and it’s worked, no one can tell them anything new. The attitude is, ‘So who are you to tell me?’ In that case, they’re stupid. It’s not intellectual stupidity, it’s attitudinal stupidity, but the effect is the same.” “Taking risks and being willing to fail is only half the picture,” the VP of marketing said. “The other half is learning by your mistakes. Learning is a cybernetic loop. Cybernetics are like the way robots work. Let’s say I had a robot and it was traveling across the living room, but suddenly bumps into some furniture. It feeds that information back into itself, changes direction and goes somewhere else.”

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Listening to him I remembered David Brenner’s story about finding the coatroom in a restaurant. You boldly head in one direction. If you’re wrong, you correct your course until you get it right. “My boss spoke up again. “Street smarts is knowing when you’ve gone down the wrong street. You’ve got to know when you’ve made a mistake and when to back off. I recently got into an investment that was less promising that expected. It wasn’t something I really wanted to do and its chance of success was not that high. So I backed out, cut my losses and ran.” “But did you learn from your mistake?” the VP of marketing asked my boss facetiously. “Damn right I did,” my boss said. “You can teach an old dog new tricks. Something I’ve learned is to not think I’m a know-it-all. Street Smarts means keeping your eyes, ears, and the rest of your senses open to the possibilities around you all of the time, because some of the best ideas come from unexpected directions.” “Precisely,” the VP said. “That’s why I encourage my front-line people to come up with creative solutions to customer service problems. You will rarely, if ever, hear of a situation in which an employee was either fired or severely reprimanded for bending or breaking company policy to help a customer, especially if it resulted in keeping that customer. But we’re all aware of cases in which customers are lost because an employee rigidly adhered to company policy. The point isthe appropriate behavior is situational. You have to be able to draw on all your resources and take charge. That involves risk. “Ask yourself, who are the people who move up in the company? The innovators, the risk-takers, the policy-benders. The people who are willing to take a stand.” My boss added a pearl of wisdom. “Someone once told me, ‘Be where the bombs are falling and dance like hell.” “If you want to get ahead in business,” I added.

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“That’s right,” he said. “You’ve got to prove yourself in the heat of the battle. No one wants to be there, but those who survive…no, thrive…are the ones who are promoted to Generals.” On that note I told them I had to shove off and head home. I left some money on the table, grabbed my briefcase, which was still in sight, and walked toward the door. As I walked passed the bar an insurance broker I knew grabbed my sleeve and pulled me toward him. “Charles,” he said, “buddy, I have a couple of extra tickets to the Knicks game tonight. Wanna buy ‘em? They’re great seats!” The word “Buddy” set off an alarm in my head. Suddenly I was skeptical. I looked at his tickets. The Knicks were playing Boston and they were great seatscenter court and close enough to hear the players think. They must have been season tickets. “How much?” I asked. “Normally forty, but for you, thirty bucks each,” he said. I could hear the con in his rap. Normally forty, for me thirty. Give me a break. Then I realized the tickets probably belonged to his fatherI knew this guy wasn’t making enough money to afford season tickets. So the bottom line was they hadn’t cost him a dime. Whatever I paid for them would be found money to him. “Do you know what time it is!” I said. “It just so happens I have plans for tonight.” He didn't have to know that my plans were to eat dinner and read some magazines. “Come on,” he whined, “thirty bucks a ticket is a deal worth changing your plans for.” “I’ll give you twenty bucks for them,” I told him, feigning nonchalance. “Ten bucks each!” he protested. “Do you know what these are worth!” I knew what they were worth. I also knew, if he could have, he would have sold them by now. Just for effect, I glanced at my watch. “Fifteen bucks is as low as I can go,” he said.

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“I’ll tell you what,” I said. “I’ll do you a favor. Remember that woman you wanted to meet, you know, the one who works in my office. Well, I’ll take both of you to lunch next week so you can meet her.” His eyes lit up. “But I don’t want to spend more than ten dollars each for the tickets.” “You’ve got a deal!” He thrust his hand into mine and shook it hard. “Now there’s one favor I have to ask of you,” I said after he gave me the tickets. I knew he was thinking, Anything, I’ll do anything! “You’ve been putting off giving me that referral out on Long Island-you know, the guy with the hardware chain who wants to go public.” “Yeah, I just spoke to him a couple of days ago,” he said. “I want his phone number,” I said bluntly. “Right now.” “Sure, you can have it,” he said as he fumbled with his PDA. “Anything else you want? How about a date with my sister?” I gave him 20 dollars. He gave me the information I wanted. We set up a day and time for lunch. I left feeling pretty shrewd. I walked home quickly, as there was only an hour and a half before the game at Madison Square Garden. Reality, or one possible twist of it, struck home as I turned the corner of my block. What if Tom couldn’t go to the game. He might not be home. There really wasn’t anyone else I felt comfortable inviting on such short notice. The conversation with my boss and the VP suddenly hit home. Without thinking twice about it, I had taken a risk. I was proud of myself because, in the process, I had automatically minimized my possible loss by getting the best price for the tickets and the business referral as part of the deal. So the worse case scenario might be that Tom couldn’t go and I would be stuck with two tickets if I didn’t want to trek to The Garden to sell them. Another way I could look at it was that I had paid 20 dollars for a very promising business lead. That being the case, maybe I could consider it a write-off on my taxes. I could see myself in an audit defending the deduction of two Knicks tickets.

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I knocked on Tom’s door and Jacquie answered it. “Hi Jacq,” I said as she let me in. Tom was eating dinner. “Sorry to interrupt your dinner.” “That’s okay,” she said. “Will you join us?” “Oh, I don’t know, I just got home,” I said, “but guess what I’ve got!” “Rabies!” Tom shouted. I held up the tickets. “Two tickets to tonight’s Knicks/Celtics game!” “Yeeeooow!” Tom yelled. We both looked at Jacquie. “Well, considering you got a ‘B’ on your math test,” she said to Tom, “I guess you can go.” Tom let out another whoop. “You got a ‘B’ on your test!” I said. We gave each other high-fives. “I knew you had it in you, you little street rat!” “Thanks, cheese-whiz!” he said, “I couldn’t have done it without you!” “Sure you could have,” I said modestly. Jacquie had already brought a plate and silverware to the table and was putting dinner in front of me. “I guess I’m staying,” I said. “You’d be a fool not to,” Tom said, stuffing his face with pot roast and gravy. “You see, there is such a thing as a free meal!” I was too hungry to argue the point. Besides, I knew he knew better.

♣

♦

♥

♠

Looking back at the Charles Green who stepped off the plane in New York and proceeded to have his briefcase stolen, I can see I’m a different person now. Not a superman, but I have a better idea of my abilities, my limitations, and I know how to move through the system. I feel as if I’m in control now. I recognize the games and

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how they’re played. I’ve learned a lot of life’s unwritten rules. I’m a lot more street smart than I was when I moved to this city. And I expect my street smarts to continue to grow.

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STREET SMARTS

I. HEIGHTENED AWARENESS A. Trust your intuition B. Develop perceptiveness & ability to anticipate C. Size up people quickly & accurately D. See the big picture II. CONFIDENCE A. Fake it till you make it B. Use chutzpa when necessary C. Believe in yourselfBe confident III. HEALTHY SKEPTICISM A. Don’t believe everything you see and hear B. Be hard to take advantage of C. Use your “mental categories” and generalizations to keep you on guard D. Give people the time and rope to either hang themselves or prove their integrity/sincerity IV. RESOURCEFULNESS A. Think quickly on your feet B. Be persistent C. Be prepared D. Be flexible E. Change your surroundings or adapt F. Surround yourself with experts & contacts V. RISK-TAKING A. Be willing to take risks B. Minimize the possible down side

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C. Cut your losses and get out if you’re wrong D. Learn by your mistakes

The End

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Tony Alessandra, PhD, CSP, CPAE Building Customers, Relationships, and the Bottom-Line

Dr. Tony Alessandra helps companies build customers, relationships, and the bottom-line. Audiences learn how to outmarket, outsell, and outservice the competition by applying Dr. Alessandra’s marketing, sales, service, and relationship-building skills. Tony has a street-wise, college-smart perspective on business, achieving success as a graduate professor of marketing, entrepreneur, author, and consultant. He earned his PhD in marketing from Georgia State University and was inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame in 1985. Dr. Alessandra is the co-founder of MentorU.com, an online e-learning company providing training and coaching utilizing the latest Internet technologies. Dr. Alessandra is a widely published author with 14 books translated into 14 foreign languages including The Platinum Rule and The Art of Managing People. He is featured in over 50 audio/video programs and films, including The Dynamics of Effective Listening and Non-Manipulative Selling. Tony Alessandra reaches people - from the Board of Directors to the front-line employees. He delivers practical ideas and profitable bottom-line results “with a lot of snap” - so people can grasp it, remember it, and use it. Recognized by Meetings & Conventions Magazine as “one of America’s most electrifying speakers,” Tony’s polished style, powerful message, and proven ability as a consummate business strategist consistently earns rave reviews.

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