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By W illiam T William T.. Thrasher and the Skirmisher Game Development Group
The Jester Dragon’s R andom Brothel Generator By W illiam T William T.. Thrasher and the Skirmisher Game Development Group
Skirmisher Publishing LLC 499 Mystic Parkway Spring Branch, TX 78070 http://skirmisher.com http://d-Infinity.net [email protected]
Editor/Layout & Design: Michael O. Varhola Technical Editor: William T. Thrasher PDF Publications Manager: Richard T. Balsley Artist: William T. Thrasher
Contents of this publication Copyright 2014 by Skirmisher Publishing LLC, all rights reserved. First Publication: February 2014. SKP E 1405.
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F
rom worlds of swords-and-sorcery to libertine space colonies, a lot can happen in a brothel. Intrigue, romance, murder, and all extremes of pleasure and disappointment wait behind the green door and under the red lanterns of seedy fleshpots and high-class seraglios. If you want to bring a little exoticism, eroticism, and bawdy fun into your campaign, you go straight to the brothel. But who has the time to invent an all-new house of ill repute every time the adventurers stagger into town, heavy with coin and flushed with blood? Lucky for you, the Jester Dragon has brothels on the brain. So get out your dice and let the sweaty hand of fate create the brothel your campaign needs!
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Table 3–1: Brothel Name Generator
A brothel’s name can be suggestive of quality and sophistication and of the pleasures awaiting within. Roll on the table below to create your brothel’s name. For a short, evocative name, roll on the third column only. For a more lively label, roll on the first and third or second and third columns. And for a name as descriptively dirty as it is long, roll on all three.
d100
01–02 03–04 05–06 07–08 09–10 11–12 13–14 15–16 17–18 19–20 21–22 23–24 25–26 27–28 29–30 31–32 33–34 35–36 37–38 39–40 41–42 43–44 45–46 47–48 49–50 51–52 53–54 55–56 57–58 59–60 61–62 63–64 65–66 67–68 69–70 71–72 73–74 75–76 77–78 79–80 81–82 83–84 85–86 87–88 89–90 91–92 93–94 95–96 97–98 99–00
Column 1
Accommodating Angora Bawdy Breeding Blooming Budding Blushing Chased Chocolate Crystal Diamond Eager Gilded Glass Gossamer Happy Hot Hungry Lace Leather Lovely Lucky Oiled Painted Pampered Passionate Pink Platinum Prancing Preening Randy Reclining Red Resplendent Rough Rutting Satin Silk Silver Sly Smiling Smooth Spiced Strutting Sweet Swooning Velvet Wet Wanton Willing
Column 2
Amazon Angel Apple Beaver Bird Bitch Buck Bunny Bull Cat Cherry Chicken Devil Doe Doll Ermine Fox Goddess Hare Hen Horse Incubus Lilly Lion Lioness Love Mare Meat Mustang Peach Nymph Pussycat Python Rabbit Rooster Rose Satyr Siren Slipper Stallion Steed Stud Succubus Sugar Swan Tiger Tigress Vixen Wildcat Wolf
Column 3
Bathhouse Bazaar Box Cage Cavern Chamber Chateau Club Clubhouse Convent Den Depot Field Garden Grotto Grove Hall Hoard Hole Hollow House Hutch Lair Lounge Menagerie Mineshaft Oasis Orchard Pagoda Pier Pit Pleasure Dome Ranch Rider Roost Palace Sanctum Shack Sheet Shop Soap House Stable Station Tail Temple Tent Tower Vault Waller Workshop
Note: Rolling on the first and second columns of the Brothel Name Generator is a great way to roll up names for seedy taverns, dance halls, nightclubs, and strip joints.
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Table 3–2: Clientele Base When it comes to brothels, certain people are looking for certain things. Roll on the table below to determine who typically patronizes the brothel and who works there. This table can also be used to randomly determine character sexuality.
d 100
Clients
01–12 13–24 25–36 37–48 49–60 61–72 73–84 85–99 00
Men Men Men Men Men Women Men and/or Women Couples Groups
Seeking
Interest Women Women Women Women Men Men and/or Women Someone to Talk To Futanari/Hermaphrodites/Transsexuals Anything Goes (e.g., Tentacled Horrors)
Table 3–3: Brothel Quality Some brothels are better than others. Roll once on the table below to determine brothel quality. Brothel quality determines the risk of being exposed to a sexually transmitted disease during a sexual encounter, as well as the number of rules customers are expected to observe (see Table 3–4: Rules of the House).
d 100
Quality
Chance of STD
R ules
01–20 21–40 41–60 61–80 81–00
Seedy Trashy Tawdry Tasteful Classy
30% 20% 10% 5% 1%
1 2 3 4 5
ules of the House Rules Table 3–4: R Every professional has standards and every business has policies. Brothels are no exception. Roll on the table below to determine what kind of behavior the brothel will not allow. Violating the code of conduct may require a roll on Table 3–5: Punishment as well. Roll on the table below as number of times as indicated by Table 3–3: Brothel Quality. The classier the establishment the more rules it has.
d 100
No …
01–06 07–12 13–18 19–24 25–30 31–36 37–42 43–48 49–54 55–60 61–66 67–72 73–78 79–84 85–90 91–96 97–00
Backtalk Drinking Dueling Gifts Glove No Love Outside Food and Drink Peeking Sampling the Merchandise Smoking Spellcasting Spitting Swearing Touching Weapons Wearing Boots Indoors Strict (roll twice) Really Strict (roll thrice)
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unishment Punishment Table 3–5: Crime and P Things can get pretty wild in a bawdy house, but there is no excuse for breaking the rules. If a character violates the policies of the establishment (see Table 3–4: Rules of the House), disrespects or endangers the employees, management, or owners, or otherwise makes trouble, roll on the table below to determine their punishment. Add 10 the result for each past offense.
d 100
Consequence
01–10 11–20 21–30 31–40 41–50 51–60 61–70 71–80 81–90 91–100 101–120 121–140 141+
A Spanking! A Spanking! Verbal Warning Stern Talking To Make a Public Apology Pay a Fine Asked to Leave Struck Across The Face Thrown Out on the Streets Roughed Up Lifetime Ban Handed Over to the Town Watch Denied Service at All Brothels in the Area Left Bleeding Out in a Back Alley
Table 3–6: F ront Business Front In communities where prostitution is illegal, or at least unseemly enough to be kept out of the public eye, brothels operate behind the façade of legitimate businesses or social institutions. If your brothel needs a front, roll on the table below.
d 100
Front
01–05 06–10 11–15 16–20 21–25 26–30 31–35 36–40 41–45 46–50 51–55 56–60 61–65 66–70 71–75 76–80 81–85 86–90 91–95 96–00
Apothecary Bakery Baths Boardinghouse Bookstore Carriage House Cobbler Fishmonger Friendly Local Game Store Funeral Parlor Legitimate Theatre Pawn Shop Pie Shop Seamstress Tailor Tavern Teahouse Temple Textile Mill Warehouse
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Table 3–7: Brothel Infiltration In any thrilling campaign nothing is quite what it seems, and brothels have a habit of being secretly infiltrated and taken over by all manner or clandestine organizations and malign forces. Roll on the table below to determine who or what is pulling strings behind the silken curtain.
d 100
Infiltrators
01–05 06–10 11–15 16–20 21–25 26–30 31–35 36–40 41–45 46–50 51–55 56–60 61–65 66–70 71–75 76–80 81–85 86–90 91–95
Assassins Guild Cannibal Cult Death Cult Doppelganger Hive Experimenting Aliens Ghoul Warren Hag Coven Incubus Gang Mad Scientist Pod Person Infestation Revolutionary Movement Sex Cult Slavers Guild Spy Network Succubus Coven Thieves Guild Vampire Lair Werewolf Pack A More Hedonistic Brothel (roll up another brothel where anything goes and no desire goes unsated) Roll Twice and Combine Results
96–00
andom STDs Random Table 3–8: R No matter how safe you try to make sex, there is always the risk that something goes around when you come around. If a hero gets careless, the cleric did not obligingly cast Cure Disease, or someone’s number came up on Table 3–3: Brothel Quality, roll twice on the table below to create a sexually transmitted disease. To enhance the results, roll on your hit location table of choice to determine where the symptoms manifest, or just name an appropriate and embarrassing body part.
d 100
Descriptor
Symptom
01–10 11–20 21–30 31–40 41–50 51–60 61–70 71–80 81–90 91–00
Bleeding Burning Crusting Flaking Fuming Galloping Itching Oozing Shriveling Swelling
Buboes Boils Fever Lurgi Pox Pustules Scabs Sweats Trots Warts
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Table 3–9: Signature Move Generator
All professionals have a signature move, an act so satisfying and so memorable clients keep coming back for more, and every client has that one thing they are always trying to find someone to do (or have done to them). Roll on the table below to create the name of a prostitute’s signature move.
d 100
First P art Part
Second P Part art
Third P art Part
01–05 06–10 11–15 16–20 21–25 26–30 31–35 36–40 41–45 46–50 51–55 56–60 61–65 66–70 71–75 76–80 81–85 86–90 91–95 96–00
Automatic Backdoor Bald Bottom-Up Congress of the Death by Full Body Full Frontal High-Flying Lip-Smacking Load-Bearing Low Hanging Lowdown Oiled Rapid Fire Reverse Slow Top-Down Two-Fisted Upside Down
Apple Bed Donkey Clam Dumpling Face Finger Foot Hand House Lip Muscle Penguin Riding Rump Seat Senator Temple Tongue Trombone
Dance Exploder Filler Interrogation Irrigator of Last Resort of Ultimate Darkness Painter Pleaser Pump Punch Relaxer Sanctifier Shaker Shame Slider Slingshot Squeeze Transubstantiator Wrangler
Table 3–10: P rostitute Backgrounds Prostitute
Everyone has a story, even anonymous sex partners for hire. Roll on the table below if desired to add background details to specific prostitute, pimp, or madame NPCs.
d 100
Background Detail
01–04 05–08 09–12 13–16 17–20 21–24 25–28 29–32 33–36 37–40 41–44 45–48 49–52 53–56 57–60 61–64 65–68 69–72 73–76 77–80 81–84 85–88 89–92 93–96 97–00
Amnesia (roll again, but the prostitute is unaware of the background detail) Cleric of a god/goddess of love Cursed by a Girdle of Opposite Gender (or setting-appropriate item) Earning money for higher education Extorts money from clients Fled an arranged marriage Informant for local law enforcement Inspired a masterful work of art Knows damning secrets about clients Member of the Thieves Guild Muse in mortal form Noble in disguise Once considered the most beautiful person in the realm Plague Bearer (see Table 3–8 Random STDs). Planning to open a competing brothel Respectable prude leading a double life Retired adventurer Spouse of a respected noble Spy for the local ruler Statue brought to life Undercover city guard Vampire (roll d100 to determine number of years undead) Wanted for crimes in a foreign land Writer conducting research for a book Complicated backstory (roll twice)
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Table 3–11: R andom Items When you’re caught with your pants down you can’t count on your weapon of choice being within arm’s reach. Likewise, when you go rutting through cabinets looking for something useful, what you find might not be the right tool for the job. Roll on the table below when a character reaches for an improvised weapon, goes snooping, or otherwise wants to know “What’s in here?” Keep in mind there is a 30% chance that any item on this list is sticky, slimy, or otherwise “used.”
d 100
Found Object
01–05 06–10 11–15 16–20 21–25 26–30 31–35 36–40 41–45 46–50 51–55 56–60 61–65 66–70 71–75 76–80 81–85 86–90 91–95 96–00
Absorbent Towel Big Fluffy Pillow Graphically Illustrated Book of Sexual Positions Bottle of Lubricant Censor Candelabra Chocolate-Covered Banana of Other Fruit Erotic Statuary Feather Boa Handful of Someone’s Anatomy Ice Bucket Perfume Bottle Phallic Toy Riding Crop Snuffbox of Aphrodisiac Powder Something That Vibrates String of “Pearls” Bottle of Champagne Vase of Flowers Velvet Rope
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andom F etish Generator Random Fetish Table 3–12: R The Jester Dragon is pleased to present the most versatile and useful table you have ever seen. Use this random fetish generator to add flavor to characters, determine the specialties of brothels, sex cults, and individual prostitutes, and randomly determine the turn-ons and turn-offs of NPCs. Imagine the fun you’ll have when you roll up a fetish someone at the table doesn’t know, leading to nervous laughter, potentially embarrassing internet searches, and disgusted glances!
d 100
Fetish
01–02 03–04 05–06 07–08 09–10 11–12 13–14 15–16 17–18 19–20 21–22 23–24 25–26 27–28 29–30 31–32 33–34 35–36 37–38 39–40 41–42 43–44 45–46 47–48 49–50 51–52 53–54 55–56 57–58 59–60 61–62 63–64 65–66 67–68 69–70 71–72 73–74 75–76 77–78 79–80 81–82 83–84 85–86 87–88 89–90 91–92 93–94 95–96 97–98 99–00
Acrotomophilia Animal Costumes Armpits Being Carried Blood Carrying People Crossdressing Exhibitionism Fetish Table Analingus Autoerotic Asphyxiation C.B.T. Coprophilia Dendrophilia Diapers Gerontophilia Face Sitting Feet Fisting Forniphilia Golden Showers Groping Hot Wax Infantilism Lactation Masks Macrophilia Masochism Mysophilia Oculolinctus Pet Play Piercings Plushies Pony Play Roman Showers Sadism Sensory Deprivation Shoes Six Milk Bottles and a Tuning Fork Slime Somnophilia Stockings Tattoos Tentacles Teratophilia Tickling Trampling Troilism Freak (roll twice and combine results) Super Freak (roll thrice and combine results)
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Bonus T Table: able: Madame Name Generator A brothel often reflects the personality of its madam, and any madam worth her salt has a personality that is larger than life. Roll on the table below to create a memorable nom de guerre for your brothel’s queen bee.
d 100
Title
First Name
Surname
01–10 11–20 21–30 31–40 41–50 51–60 61–70 71–80 81–90 91–00
Baroness Big Momma Countess Den Mother Duchess Empress Lady Madame Miss Mistress
Cleo Chastity Delilah Goldie Honey Jasmine Kitty Lacy Pearl Sultana
Babylon Belle Blaze Lilith Lilywhite Magdalene Odette Pearl Red Sweet
Bonus T able: P imp Name Generator Table: Pimp When a player gets in the game, he needs a new name to play it. You dig? Roll on the table below to create a name fit for a hustler.
d 100
First Name
Second Name
01–04 05–08 09–12 13–16 17–20 21–24 25–28 29–32 33–36 37–40 41–44 45–48 49–52 53–56 57–60 61–64 65–68 69–72 73–76 77–80 81–84 85–88 89–92 93–96 97–00
Anytime Big Daddy Butterscotch Captain Chocolate Cosmic Don Duke Electric Iceberg Iron Kosher Little Long John Magic Maximum Silky Smooth Snakeskin Tall Tasty Total Two-Tone Vanilla Vermillion
Allover Bigs Bullfrog Caesar Flash Getaway Giddyup Hurricane Ice John Juice Kangaroo Mayhem Missile Player Prince Rollout Saddlebags Saint Sitwell Slim Thunder Watershed Willy Wrangler
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Other Great Great Skirmisher Skirmisher P P ublications ublications Publications Publications Other Bestsellers
Builder”” SeriesUniversal Sourcebooks “Castle Builder
d-Infinity Multi-Platform Game Supplement