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FALL 2003

Do YOU Have What It Takes? What is

coaching?

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Dispelling the Myth of the balanced life

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contents MAGAZINE FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

columns 7

choice thoughts Letter from the Editors

8

contributors

10

perspective

34

Rich Fettke on Purpose Andrea Bauer talks with Rich Fettke about living the purposeful life.

36

Dispelling the Myth of the Balanced Life

The Power of NLP Coaching The merit of NLP in coaching, says Ian McDermott, is that it is very solution focused!

entrepreneur coach Marketing Your Practice: Sell the Sizzle, Not the Steak! C.J. Hayden serves up a sizzling approach to entrepreneurial success.

40

Six Tips for New Coaches Dorcas Kelley takes the worry out of starting up your practice with her six things to focus on in year one. Choosing Your Dream Team Finding the right people through trusted referrals is key in building a team that delivers, Ileana Rontea insists.

17

sticky situations

20

exec direct

43

30

Marcy Nelson-Garrison finds innovative ways to enliven and refresh your coaching practice.

welcome letters Judith F. Feld, President of the International Coach Federation, welcomes choice, the magazine of professional coaching. A note of welcome from Cassandra L. Gierden, President of the International Coach Federation, GTA Chapter

31

icf corner

get to know Being, Doing, Using – A Way to Understanding Coaching Neil Stroul, Ph.D. and Chris Wahl, M.A. outline why “who you be” is more important than “what you do.” And what’s “using” got to do with it?

A guest panel of senior coaches lends their expertise to finding new ways of handling old issues.

coaching tools

therapy alliance Beyond the 12th step: Life Coaching after Addiction Counseling Dr. Patrick Williams talks about the importance of breaching the gap between addiction and recovery.

46

soul of coaching Coaching, the Sacred Journey For Leza Danly, finding the place of “realness” is the coach’s responsibility to the client.

Coaching and the Corporate Client Here’s how Patricia Overland and Linda Miller help corporations improve the bottom line and keep top talent.

22

complementary Authenticity Children live in authenticity. Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. looks at what changes when we become adults.

Instead of juggling your way to balance, Debbie Ford invites you to follow your passion.

12

corporate leadership

47

sharpening our edge Bits and bytes about what’s going on in the coaching community.

48

resource directory

49

impact Relationship Coaching: The New Frontier The principles and skills of relationship coaching have a wide applicability, says Marita Fridjhon. Business Coaching, Life Coaching … What’s the Difference? Wendy Johnson shows that it’s all about meeting different needs.

Committing to an Ethical Framework: A Powerful Choice Dolly M. Garlo and David Matthew Prior look at the balance between putting clients’ interests first and making money. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

3

contents MAGAZINE FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

features

FOUNDERS

Melanie DewBerry-Jones Maureen A. Ford Garry T. Schleifer

BUSINESS COACHING ...

E D I TO R I N C H I E F

25

coaching: an empowering choice

Maureen A. Ford

What is coaching? Phil Sandahl defines it as unleashing potential and more.

Marguerite Martindale

E D I TO R AT L A R G E

Melanie DewBerry-Jones M A N A G I N G E D I TO R

An Essential Business Service

E D I TO R I A L C O N S U LTA N T

Denise Barnard

27

coaching: a two-way street to growth

A D V E R T I S I N G D I R E C TO R

Garry T. Schleifer WEB DESIGN/DEVELOPMENT

Creative-Visioning.com Wilma Kampers

Laura Berman Fortgang on coaching. It relies COVER IMAGE SOURCING

on mutual respect and unconditional support.

28

why life coaching? Life coaching, Will Craig believes, is about taking action and making things happen.

Comma8Comma1.com Nelson Moutinho

JOIN the only International Professional Association dedicated

exclusively to business coaching.

ART DIRECTION AND DESIGN

Imagine That! Communications Corp. www.imaginethat.on.ca PUBLISHER

Garry T. Schleifer

Worldwide Association of Business Coaches

E D I TO R I A L B O A R D

Carol Adrienne Teri-E Belf Laura Berman Fortgang Jim Bird Rich Fettke Debbie Ford C.J. Hayden Dorcas Kelly Pamela Richarde Phil Sandahl Iyanla Vanzant Laura Whitworth

provides networking, advocacy, business development, credibility service

for the serious

and

personalized

business coach!

choice, the magazine of professional coaching (ISSN 1708-6116) is published quarterly by MG Publishing, 453 Wellesley Street East, Suite 300, Toronto, ON, Canada, M4X 1H8. Telephone: (416) 925-6643; Fax: (416) 935-3026 The views contained in this magazine are not necessarily those of MG Publishing. Contents © 2003. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. For subscription queries, log on to www.choice-online.com.

Printed in Canada

4

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

To Join, go online to: w w w . w a b c c o a c h e s . c o m

contents MAGAZINE FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

features

FOUNDERS

Melanie DewBerry-Jones Maureen A. Ford Garry T. Schleifer

BUSINESS COACHING ...

E D I TO R I N C H I E F

25

coaching: an empowering choice

Maureen A. Ford

What is coaching? Phil Sandahl defines it as unleashing potential and more.

Marguerite Martindale

E D I TO R AT L A R G E

Melanie DewBerry-Jones M A N A G I N G E D I TO R

An Essential Business Service

E D I TO R I A L C O N S U LTA N T

Denise Barnard

27

coaching: a two-way street to growth

A D V E R T I S I N G D I R E C TO R

Garry T. Schleifer WEB DESIGN/DEVELOPMENT

Creative-Visioning.com Wilma Kampers

Laura Berman Fortgang on coaching. It relies COVER IMAGE SOURCING

on mutual respect and unconditional support.

28

why life coaching? Life coaching, Will Craig believes, is about taking action and making things happen.

Comma8Comma1.com Nelson Moutinho

JOIN the only International Professional Association dedicated

exclusively to business coaching.

ART DIRECTION AND DESIGN

Imagine That! Communications Corp. www.imaginethat.on.ca PUBLISHER

Garry T. Schleifer

Worldwide Association of Business Coaches

E D I TO R I A L B O A R D

Carol Adrienne Teri-E Belf Laura Berman Fortgang Jim Bird Rich Fettke Debbie Ford C.J. Hayden Dorcas Kelly Pamela Richarde Phil Sandahl Iyanla Vanzant Laura Whitworth

provides networking, advocacy, business development, credibility service

for the serious

and

personalized

business coach!

choice, the magazine of professional coaching (ISSN 1708-6116) is published quarterly by MG Publishing, 453 Wellesley Street East, Suite 300, Toronto, ON, Canada, M4X 1H8. Telephone: (416) 925-6643; Fax: (416) 935-3026 The views contained in this magazine are not necessarily those of MG Publishing. Contents © 2003. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited. For subscription queries, log on to www.choice-online.com.

Printed in Canada

4

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

To Join, go online to: w w w . w a b c c o a c h e s . c o m

www.coachingtoys.com

choice thoughts

Share

your

Q? Basics Fun, colorful flash card style learning essential open-ended questions for the coaches tool box. Cool Products Page - Toys & Tools

Boundless Renewal Original photographic art, wisdom & the power of reflection blended for an extraordinary learning experience. Cool Products Page - Tapes, CD’s

Enrichuals Cards Delightful, fun & Affirming! Guaranteed to invite possibility and spark creative living. Cool Products Page - Toys & Tools

Just Be . . . pendants

story ideas with us! At choice, we are dedicated to serving your needs, and we very much want you, our reader, to be involved in every step of our growth –– yours and ours. We’d like our magazine to reflect you, your experiences and ideas. The following departments are not included in this issue because they require you –– the reader’s input. To send your ideas and suggestions to [email protected] for the following columns, please include your name and email address. We reserve the right to edit correspondence for clarity, suitability and space.

connection: This column profiles readers who

Powerful & beautiful reminders to slow down, be fully present and connect to the essence of your being.

are using coaching in their lives and businesses.

Cool Products Page - Gifts & Structures

otherwise, who are using cutting-edge coaching technologies, are highlighted.

Come Frolic on the Creative Frontier The BEST site on the web for creativity, play and spirit in personal growth and professional development.

www.coachingtoys.com Products, Resources, Ar ticles, Teleclasses & More

• Letter from the Editors

Dear choice reader:

T

hank you for supporting this endeavor to give our profession a voice of its own. We’re still reeling from the deluge of positive feedback we have received.

In the summer of 2002, we separately began to dream about starting a coaching magazine. As we ventured out to make our dream a reality, talented coach — Garry Schleifer — who also wanted the same thing, stepped forward; choice was born! Truly, there are no coincidences! A constant theme threaded through the articles is the realization that we have reached a watershed in our profession — coaching has come of age! Our fervent hope is to provide a platform that ensures the evolution of coaching by bringing coaches together as a community to harness our collective creativity. Our immediate objective is to legitimize and galvanize the coaching profession by defining it in its own voice and to provide insights, cutting-edge technologies and diversity. Our heartfelt thanks to our editorial board — Carol Adrienne, Teri-E Belf, Laura Berman Fortgang, Jim Bird, Rich Fettke, Debbie Ford, C.J. Hayden, Dorcas Kelly, Pamela Richarde, Phil Sandahl, Iyanla Vanzant and Laura Whitworth — who has been a major source of support in the development of choice. They have given unselfishly of their time, advice and love. Thanks go also to the governing organization of the coaching profession, the International Coach Federation, which proved to be a beacon of inspiration from the beginning. Our deepest gratitude go to Julie Ristau, publisher, and Jon Spayde, senior editor, of Utne magazine, for their unwavering love and support during the start-up phase of choice. Thank you! In this, our premier issue, we deal with the question, “What is coaching?” The answers are as varied as they are many. We touch on other topics such as “authenticity,” “ethics” and “balance.” We’ve even included a section on “coaching tools” to help enliven your practice. And how do you put “the sizzle” in your marketing? Read on to find out. We have poured our hearts and souls into developing a magazine that you can take to the office, curl up with in bed and use as a resource and tool for your coaching needs. Let us know what you think. In the meantime … enjoy! With love and deep gratitude,

profile: In this column, leaders, corporate or

choice forum: This is our version of “Letters to the Editor.” Tell us what you think, what you want and what we’ve missed.

For guidelines on submitting an article, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

Maureen A. Ford, EDITOR IN CHIEF

Melanie DewBerry-Jones, EDITOR AT LARGE FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

7

www.coachingtoys.com

choice thoughts

Share

your

Q? Basics Fun, colorful flash card style learning essential open-ended questions for the coaches tool box. Cool Products Page - Toys & Tools

Boundless Renewal Original photographic art, wisdom & the power of reflection blended for an extraordinary learning experience. Cool Products Page - Tapes, CD’s

Enrichuals Cards Delightful, fun & Affirming! Guaranteed to invite possibility and spark creative living. Cool Products Page - Toys & Tools

Just Be . . . pendants

story ideas with us! At choice, we are dedicated to serving your needs, and we very much want you, our reader, to be involved in every step of our growth –– yours and ours. We’d like our magazine to reflect you, your experiences and ideas. The following departments are not included in this issue because they require you –– the reader’s input. To send your ideas and suggestions to [email protected] for the following columns, please include your name and email address. We reserve the right to edit correspondence for clarity, suitability and space.

connection: This column profiles readers who

Powerful & beautiful reminders to slow down, be fully present and connect to the essence of your being.

are using coaching in their lives and businesses.

Cool Products Page - Gifts & Structures

otherwise, who are using cutting-edge coaching technologies, are highlighted.

Come Frolic on the Creative Frontier The BEST site on the web for creativity, play and spirit in personal growth and professional development.

www.coachingtoys.com Products, Resources, Ar ticles, Teleclasses & More

• Letter from the Editors

Dear choice reader:

T

hank you for supporting this endeavor to give our profession a voice of its own. We’re still reeling from the deluge of positive feedback we have received.

In the summer of 2002, we separately began to dream about starting a coaching magazine. As we ventured out to make our dream a reality, talented coach — Garry Schleifer — who also wanted the same thing, stepped forward; choice was born! Truly, there are no coincidences! A constant theme threaded through the articles is the realization that we have reached a watershed in our profession — coaching has come of age! Our fervent hope is to provide a platform that ensures the evolution of coaching by bringing coaches together as a community to harness our collective creativity. Our immediate objective is to legitimize and galvanize the coaching profession by defining it in its own voice and to provide insights, cutting-edge technologies and diversity. Our heartfelt thanks to our editorial board — Carol Adrienne, Teri-E Belf, Laura Berman Fortgang, Jim Bird, Rich Fettke, Debbie Ford, C.J. Hayden, Dorcas Kelly, Pamela Richarde, Phil Sandahl, Iyanla Vanzant and Laura Whitworth — who has been a major source of support in the development of choice. They have given unselfishly of their time, advice and love. Thanks go also to the governing organization of the coaching profession, the International Coach Federation, which proved to be a beacon of inspiration from the beginning. Our deepest gratitude go to Julie Ristau, publisher, and Jon Spayde, senior editor, of Utne magazine, for their unwavering love and support during the start-up phase of choice. Thank you! In this, our premier issue, we deal with the question, “What is coaching?” The answers are as varied as they are many. We touch on other topics such as “authenticity,” “ethics” and “balance.” We’ve even included a section on “coaching tools” to help enliven your practice. And how do you put “the sizzle” in your marketing? Read on to find out. We have poured our hearts and souls into developing a magazine that you can take to the office, curl up with in bed and use as a resource and tool for your coaching needs. Let us know what you think. In the meantime … enjoy! With love and deep gratitude,

profile: In this column, leaders, corporate or

choice forum: This is our version of “Letters to the Editor.” Tell us what you think, what you want and what we’ve missed.

For guidelines on submitting an article, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

Maureen A. Ford, EDITOR IN CHIEF

Melanie DewBerry-Jones, EDITOR AT LARGE FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

7

contributors

contributors

In “Authenticity” (page 36), Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. and counselor, examines what it means to be authentic and why it has become so important of late. She is an internationally known workshop facilitator and author whose books have been translated into over 15 languages. Her latest book, now available in paperback, is When Life Changes, or You Wish It Would (HarperCollins).

Andrea Bauer, CPCC, demonstrates her passion for helping people get and stay on purpose in her interview with “Rich Fettke on Purpose” (page 34). She is the creator of Soul Surveys, an innovative collection of interviews conducted with people around the globe on a variety of topics.

Craig Carr, CPCC, PCC, along with Laura Berman Fortgang and Carol Adrienne, is part of the panel of coaches in “Sticky Situations” (page 17) that gives us a window into critical moments when coaches feel stuck or need advice from senior coaches. He is a senior faculty member with the Coaches Training Institute. His coaching focus includes life transitions to second adulthood and business start-ups. He is the co-creator of “Danger, Sex and Magic: Coaching the Forbidden and Taboo,” an advanced training seminar for coaches. According to Will Craig, in his article “Why Life Coaching?” (page 28), there is a connection between the breakdown of the extended family and the rise to prominence of coaching. President of the Coach Training Alliance, he is author of the “Fill Your Coaching Practice” software program and co-author of the popular “Coach Training Accelerator.”

Leza Danly, CPCC, MCC, in “Coaching, the Sacred Journey” (page 46), goes straight to the heart of the matter when she says, “the coach is the one who helps the client see the difference between what is real and what is illusion.” Founder of Lucid Living, a spiritually based coach training company, she has also developed an advanced curriculum to help coaches find the “More Real” in themselves and their clients.

8

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

“Dispelling the Myth of the Balanced Life” (page 10) is an invitation from Debbie Ford to follow your heart’s desire — your passion! Debbie is a #1 New York Times best-selling author of four books, including The Right Questions (HarperCollins). She is the founder of the Institute for Integrative Coaching that trains committed individuals to facilitate a unique and powerful form of coaching. For Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC, coaching is about “pushing the envelope.” In “Coaching: A Two-Way Street to Growth” (page 27), she encourages both coach and client to stretch outside of their comfort zones and experience the tremendous sense of satisfaction there is in being able to make a difference. Laura is the founder and owner of InterCoach, Inc., a coaching company providing personal and executive coaching. She is also the author of the best-selling books, Take Yourself to the Top and Living Your Best Life (Tarcher/Penguin). “The time has come to apply systems thinking to coaching, whether the recipient be individuals or groups,” say Marita Fridjhon, MSW, CPCC, PCC, and Faith Fuller, Ph.D, CPCC, in “Relationship Coaching: The New Frontier” (page 49). Marita is a founding partner of The Center for Right Relationship and the cocreator, with Faith, of the graduate training program in Co-Active Relationship Coaching offered by The Coaches Training Institute.

Marcy Nelson-Garrison, MA, CPCC, is president of Coaching Toys Inc. She is committed to the power and delight of creative approaches to personal and professional development (page 22).

Dolly Garlo, RN, JD, PCC, and David Matthew Prior, MCC, MBA, in their article, “Committing to an Ethical Framework: A Powerful Choice,”© (page 31) take a long, hard look at ethics in the coaching community. They affirm that “ethics is a choice to conduct oneself in keeping with a set of core values, to be

self-regulated.” Dolly is President of Thrive!! Inc., a business development, marketing and executive coaching and consulting company. David is President of Getacoach.com LLC, a coaching company that focuses on creativity and success in business using instinct, impulse and intuition. Currently, they both serve as co-chairs of the International Coach Federation’s Ethics and Standards Committee.

C.J. Hayden, MCC, delivers a smorgasbord of common sense served up with dollops of pragmatism in her article “Marketing Your Practice: Sell the Sizzle, Not the Steak!” (page 12). She is the author of Get Clients NOW!, Get Hired NOW! (AMACOM), and The One-Person Marketing Plan Workbook. Since 1992, she has been coaching people to make a better living doing what they love. In “Business Coaching, Life Coaching …What’s the Difference?” (page 50), Wendy Johnson, MA, CEC, CMC, draws a fine distinction between these two areas by adding needs and accountability to the mix. Wendy is President and CEO of the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches.

on the corporate bottom line. In their experience, “Clients find ways to reinvent themselves, stay on with companies and contribute in new and innovative ways.” Patricia is a principal in The Overland Group and is a senior coach for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Linda is director of Coaching Services for The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Ileana Rontea cautions, “Do your homework,” in her article “Choosing Your Dream Team” (page 14). She is chief creative officer of Mind Ignition Associates. Her Toronto-based company specializes in working with life coaches and holistic practitioners, helping them become more successful in their businesses through the creation of dynamic and powerful marketing materials. Phil Sandahl, CPCC, states in “Coaching: An Empowering Choice” (page 25) that “both client and coach are equal in power and authority to create a new form of open, engaged, truth telling that is empowering and authentic.” Phil is an international coach and coaching trainer with The Coaches Training Institute. He is also co-author of Co-Active Coaching (Davies-Black Publishing).

Dorcas Kelley, CPCC, CMC, ACC, outlines “Six Tips for New Coaches” (page 12) that take the guesswork out of setting up a new practice. She is passionately committed to the success of your life and your business. Dorcas is the author of The Business of Coaching.

Ian McDermott is convinced that “The Power of NLP Coaching” (page 38) offers anyone in the coaching field “an enormous variety of tools, techniques and interventions but, above all, a very rigorously tested, solution-focused way of thinking that will increase any coach’s effectiveness.” He is director of training for International Teaching Seminars, Europe’s leading NLP Coaching training organization. He is also co-author of 10 books on NLP and coaching, including NLP Coach and the forthcoming Your Inner Coach. In “Coaching and the Corporate Client” (page 20), Patricia Overland and Linda Miller, MCC, discuss the effects of coaching

In “Being, Doing, Using – A Way to Understanding Coaching” (page 43), authors Neil Stroul, Ph.D. and Chris Wahl, M.A. describe coaching as a craft, involving both discipline and art. Neil is a senior faculty member at Georgetown University while Chris is the director of the Leadership Coaching Program. She and Neil Stroul are working on Present Perfect, Future Perfect, a book about their experiences coaching leaders.

Patrick Williams, Ed.D, MCC, in “Beyond the 12th Step: Life Coaching after Addiction Counseling” (page 40), makes the distinction between therapist and coach: The therapist is the expert; the coach is your partner. After spending 16 years as a clinical psychologist, he is now a Master Certified Coach. Patrick is co-author, with Deborah C. Davis, of Therapist as Life Coach: Transforming Your Practice (W.W. Norton & Company). A member of the board of directors of the International Coach Federation, he speaks worldwide on coaching and purposeful living.

•

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

9

contributors

contributors

In “Authenticity” (page 36), Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. and counselor, examines what it means to be authentic and why it has become so important of late. She is an internationally known workshop facilitator and author whose books have been translated into over 15 languages. Her latest book, now available in paperback, is When Life Changes, or You Wish It Would (HarperCollins).

Andrea Bauer, CPCC, demonstrates her passion for helping people get and stay on purpose in her interview with “Rich Fettke on Purpose” (page 34). She is the creator of Soul Surveys, an innovative collection of interviews conducted with people around the globe on a variety of topics.

Craig Carr, CPCC, PCC, along with Laura Berman Fortgang and Carol Adrienne, is part of the panel of coaches in “Sticky Situations” (page 17) that gives us a window into critical moments when coaches feel stuck or need advice from senior coaches. He is a senior faculty member with the Coaches Training Institute. His coaching focus includes life transitions to second adulthood and business start-ups. He is the co-creator of “Danger, Sex and Magic: Coaching the Forbidden and Taboo,” an advanced training seminar for coaches. According to Will Craig, in his article “Why Life Coaching?” (page 28), there is a connection between the breakdown of the extended family and the rise to prominence of coaching. President of the Coach Training Alliance, he is author of the “Fill Your Coaching Practice” software program and co-author of the popular “Coach Training Accelerator.”

Leza Danly, CPCC, MCC, in “Coaching, the Sacred Journey” (page 46), goes straight to the heart of the matter when she says, “the coach is the one who helps the client see the difference between what is real and what is illusion.” Founder of Lucid Living, a spiritually based coach training company, she has also developed an advanced curriculum to help coaches find the “More Real” in themselves and their clients.

8

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

“Dispelling the Myth of the Balanced Life” (page 10) is an invitation from Debbie Ford to follow your heart’s desire — your passion! Debbie is a #1 New York Times best-selling author of four books, including The Right Questions (HarperCollins). She is the founder of the Institute for Integrative Coaching that trains committed individuals to facilitate a unique and powerful form of coaching. For Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC, coaching is about “pushing the envelope.” In “Coaching: A Two-Way Street to Growth” (page 27), she encourages both coach and client to stretch outside of their comfort zones and experience the tremendous sense of satisfaction there is in being able to make a difference. Laura is the founder and owner of InterCoach, Inc., a coaching company providing personal and executive coaching. She is also the author of the best-selling books, Take Yourself to the Top and Living Your Best Life (Tarcher/Penguin). “The time has come to apply systems thinking to coaching, whether the recipient be individuals or groups,” say Marita Fridjhon, MSW, CPCC, PCC, and Faith Fuller, Ph.D, CPCC, in “Relationship Coaching: The New Frontier” (page 49). Marita is a founding partner of The Center for Right Relationship and the cocreator, with Faith, of the graduate training program in Co-Active Relationship Coaching offered by The Coaches Training Institute.

Marcy Nelson-Garrison, MA, CPCC, is president of Coaching Toys Inc. She is committed to the power and delight of creative approaches to personal and professional development (page 22).

Dolly Garlo, RN, JD, PCC, and David Matthew Prior, MCC, MBA, in their article, “Committing to an Ethical Framework: A Powerful Choice,”© (page 31) take a long, hard look at ethics in the coaching community. They affirm that “ethics is a choice to conduct oneself in keeping with a set of core values, to be

self-regulated.” Dolly is President of Thrive!! Inc., a business development, marketing and executive coaching and consulting company. David is President of Getacoach.com LLC, a coaching company that focuses on creativity and success in business using instinct, impulse and intuition. Currently, they both serve as co-chairs of the International Coach Federation’s Ethics and Standards Committee.

C.J. Hayden, MCC, delivers a smorgasbord of common sense served up with dollops of pragmatism in her article “Marketing Your Practice: Sell the Sizzle, Not the Steak!” (page 12). She is the author of Get Clients NOW!, Get Hired NOW! (AMACOM), and The One-Person Marketing Plan Workbook. Since 1992, she has been coaching people to make a better living doing what they love. In “Business Coaching, Life Coaching …What’s the Difference?” (page 50), Wendy Johnson, MA, CEC, CMC, draws a fine distinction between these two areas by adding needs and accountability to the mix. Wendy is President and CEO of the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches.

on the corporate bottom line. In their experience, “Clients find ways to reinvent themselves, stay on with companies and contribute in new and innovative ways.” Patricia is a principal in The Overland Group and is a senior coach for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Linda is director of Coaching Services for The Ken Blanchard Companies.

Ileana Rontea cautions, “Do your homework,” in her article “Choosing Your Dream Team” (page 14). She is chief creative officer of Mind Ignition Associates. Her Toronto-based company specializes in working with life coaches and holistic practitioners, helping them become more successful in their businesses through the creation of dynamic and powerful marketing materials. Phil Sandahl, CPCC, states in “Coaching: An Empowering Choice” (page 25) that “both client and coach are equal in power and authority to create a new form of open, engaged, truth telling that is empowering and authentic.” Phil is an international coach and coaching trainer with The Coaches Training Institute. He is also co-author of Co-Active Coaching (Davies-Black Publishing).

Dorcas Kelley, CPCC, CMC, ACC, outlines “Six Tips for New Coaches” (page 12) that take the guesswork out of setting up a new practice. She is passionately committed to the success of your life and your business. Dorcas is the author of The Business of Coaching.

Ian McDermott is convinced that “The Power of NLP Coaching” (page 38) offers anyone in the coaching field “an enormous variety of tools, techniques and interventions but, above all, a very rigorously tested, solution-focused way of thinking that will increase any coach’s effectiveness.” He is director of training for International Teaching Seminars, Europe’s leading NLP Coaching training organization. He is also co-author of 10 books on NLP and coaching, including NLP Coach and the forthcoming Your Inner Coach. In “Coaching and the Corporate Client” (page 20), Patricia Overland and Linda Miller, MCC, discuss the effects of coaching

In “Being, Doing, Using – A Way to Understanding Coaching” (page 43), authors Neil Stroul, Ph.D. and Chris Wahl, M.A. describe coaching as a craft, involving both discipline and art. Neil is a senior faculty member at Georgetown University while Chris is the director of the Leadership Coaching Program. She and Neil Stroul are working on Present Perfect, Future Perfect, a book about their experiences coaching leaders.

Patrick Williams, Ed.D, MCC, in “Beyond the 12th Step: Life Coaching after Addiction Counseling” (page 40), makes the distinction between therapist and coach: The therapist is the expert; the coach is your partner. After spending 16 years as a clinical psychologist, he is now a Master Certified Coach. Patrick is co-author, with Deborah C. Davis, of Therapist as Life Coach: Transforming Your Practice (W.W. Norton & Company). A member of the board of directors of the International Coach Federation, he speaks worldwide on coaching and purposeful living.

•

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

9

perspective

perspective

• Balance, balance, balance! It’s what we all want in our lives, right? Debbie Ford suggests we pursue something else.

h t y M Dispelling the of the Balanced Life

alance. Isn’t that what we all long for? Isn’t that the goal we hope to attain at the end of all our hard work? The word itself conjures up images of centeredness, ease and effortless progress towards that which we desire. But is this goal attainable, or is it a mere fiction, a myth?

10

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Photo by Mads Frederikson

B

Some of you may be familiar with the Life Wheel, a tool frequently used by life coaches, which outlines eight key areas of our lives — work and career, finances, physical and emotional health, primary relationship, family and friends, home and surroundings, fun and relaxation and spiritual development. The implication is that leading a balanced life requires us to divide our attention proportionally between each of these areas in order to achieve the balance we seek. The problem with this mindset is that it makes many of us shift into overdrive, frantically trying to keep all the balls in the air. As a result, we not only suffer the stress of spreading ourselves too thin, but we are often left feeling ineffective in any one area. While we may reach this lofty goal, sustaining it without harm to ourselves is a myth! Dispelling the myth of the balanced life requires that we realize that rarely during the course of our lifespan will we have a week, a month or even a day when we give equal time to all facets of our lives. There always seems to be one or two areas grabbing for our attention while the others remain on the back burner, waiting for their day in the sun. This is the nature of life. There are times, after the birth of a child, for example, or when a parent falls ill, that our family requires the lion’s share of our attention. There are other times when we must concentrate on work. Sometimes fun and relaxation are clearly the priority, and we shift our focus from other areas in order to take the rest we need.

Many of us frantically try to keep all the balls in the air.

“

I have always been a proponent of referring to one’s own internal definitions of happiness rather than trying to conform to some external picture of a perfect life. Because each person has a different set of goals and desires, each of us has our own notion of what a balanced life looks like. A schedule that feels perfectly satisfactory for one person may throw another’s totally out of whack. And, as we mature, our definition of balance naturally changes. As some goals are realized and brought to fruition, other desires are born, altering our internal picture of what makes for a balanced and happy life.

”

There are some essential questions each of us must ask ourselves in order to create a life we love that may or may not look balanced to anyone else; I call them “right questions.” These questions can help you to arrange your life in a way that feels harmonious to you. Rather than asking, “Is this area of my life balanced or out of balance?” you could, in order to receive a more insightful answer, ask, “Do I feel empowered or disempowered in this area of my life? Are the choices I’m making in this area adding to my life force or are they robbing me of my energy? Are my daily actions taking me closer to a future that inspires me or are they keeping me stuck in the past?” These are questions that can actu-

ally propel you towards a life that is in alignment with your goals and desires, rather than striving for a life that looks like an evenly distributed pie chart. And, if you find that the answers to these questions are not as you would like them to be, nevertheless, you will gain powerful new insight into what you need to do to change your circumstances. Ultimately, I believe the key to finding that illusive feeling of balance that we all seek is to learn to enjoy what’s in front of us, to give it our full attention and to make the choice to be nourished by whatever we are devoting ourselves to in the moment. If, for example, you’re committed to growing a young business, you may be putting in 60-hour work weeks — a schedule that from the outside in may look totally overwhelming. But if you’re thriving, if your work is feeding you, and if those 60 hours are taking you closer to your dreams, that passion will spread into other areas of your life.

Seek to create an extraordinary life.

“

The eight sections depicted on the Life Wheel represent all the facets of our lives, any one of which may advance to center stage at any given moment. They are all equally important and delicious. Every area nourishes us in a different way. But it’s like being at a buffet — you can only fit so much on your plate at any one time. So eat what’s on your plate and don’t torture yourself or rob yourself of the enjoyment of the moment by worrying about the rest.

”

For most of us, the balanced life is a fantasy that exists only in our minds. Striving to create it is like trying to reach a mirage off in the distance. Seeking to create an extraordinary life — one that uses all our unique talents and gifts — is a much more exciting, attainable and worthwhile endeavor. We achieve extraordinary results when we define the areas where we have a true desire to shine — whether it’s in the area of family, career, spirituality or something else. It’s then, and only then, that we bring forth our full potential in that area. When we commit ourselves to excellence, to making a contribution, to not settling, to setting an example for others, and to taking the high road, we achieve an extraordinary life. And, in its magnificence, it will take on its own unique form of balance.

•

Debbie Ford is a #1 New York Times best-selling author of four books, including The Right Questions (HarperCollins).

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

11

perspective

perspective

• Balance, balance, balance! It’s what we all want in our lives, right? Debbie Ford suggests we pursue something else.

h t y M Dispelling the of the Balanced Life

alance. Isn’t that what we all long for? Isn’t that the goal we hope to attain at the end of all our hard work? The word itself conjures up images of centeredness, ease and effortless progress towards that which we desire. But is this goal attainable, or is it a mere fiction, a myth?

10

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Photo by Mads Frederikson

B

Some of you may be familiar with the Life Wheel, a tool frequently used by life coaches, which outlines eight key areas of our lives — work and career, finances, physical and emotional health, primary relationship, family and friends, home and surroundings, fun and relaxation and spiritual development. The implication is that leading a balanced life requires us to divide our attention proportionally between each of these areas in order to achieve the balance we seek. The problem with this mindset is that it makes many of us shift into overdrive, frantically trying to keep all the balls in the air. As a result, we not only suffer the stress of spreading ourselves too thin, but we are often left feeling ineffective in any one area. While we may reach this lofty goal, sustaining it without harm to ourselves is a myth! Dispelling the myth of the balanced life requires that we realize that rarely during the course of our lifespan will we have a week, a month or even a day when we give equal time to all facets of our lives. There always seems to be one or two areas grabbing for our attention while the others remain on the back burner, waiting for their day in the sun. This is the nature of life. There are times, after the birth of a child, for example, or when a parent falls ill, that our family requires the lion’s share of our attention. There are other times when we must concentrate on work. Sometimes fun and relaxation are clearly the priority, and we shift our focus from other areas in order to take the rest we need.

Many of us frantically try to keep all the balls in the air.

“

I have always been a proponent of referring to one’s own internal definitions of happiness rather than trying to conform to some external picture of a perfect life. Because each person has a different set of goals and desires, each of us has our own notion of what a balanced life looks like. A schedule that feels perfectly satisfactory for one person may throw another’s totally out of whack. And, as we mature, our definition of balance naturally changes. As some goals are realized and brought to fruition, other desires are born, altering our internal picture of what makes for a balanced and happy life.

”

There are some essential questions each of us must ask ourselves in order to create a life we love that may or may not look balanced to anyone else; I call them “right questions.” These questions can help you to arrange your life in a way that feels harmonious to you. Rather than asking, “Is this area of my life balanced or out of balance?” you could, in order to receive a more insightful answer, ask, “Do I feel empowered or disempowered in this area of my life? Are the choices I’m making in this area adding to my life force or are they robbing me of my energy? Are my daily actions taking me closer to a future that inspires me or are they keeping me stuck in the past?” These are questions that can actu-

ally propel you towards a life that is in alignment with your goals and desires, rather than striving for a life that looks like an evenly distributed pie chart. And, if you find that the answers to these questions are not as you would like them to be, nevertheless, you will gain powerful new insight into what you need to do to change your circumstances. Ultimately, I believe the key to finding that illusive feeling of balance that we all seek is to learn to enjoy what’s in front of us, to give it our full attention and to make the choice to be nourished by whatever we are devoting ourselves to in the moment. If, for example, you’re committed to growing a young business, you may be putting in 60-hour work weeks — a schedule that from the outside in may look totally overwhelming. But if you’re thriving, if your work is feeding you, and if those 60 hours are taking you closer to your dreams, that passion will spread into other areas of your life.

Seek to create an extraordinary life.

“

The eight sections depicted on the Life Wheel represent all the facets of our lives, any one of which may advance to center stage at any given moment. They are all equally important and delicious. Every area nourishes us in a different way. But it’s like being at a buffet — you can only fit so much on your plate at any one time. So eat what’s on your plate and don’t torture yourself or rob yourself of the enjoyment of the moment by worrying about the rest.

”

For most of us, the balanced life is a fantasy that exists only in our minds. Striving to create it is like trying to reach a mirage off in the distance. Seeking to create an extraordinary life — one that uses all our unique talents and gifts — is a much more exciting, attainable and worthwhile endeavor. We achieve extraordinary results when we define the areas where we have a true desire to shine — whether it’s in the area of family, career, spirituality or something else. It’s then, and only then, that we bring forth our full potential in that area. When we commit ourselves to excellence, to making a contribution, to not settling, to setting an example for others, and to taking the high road, we achieve an extraordinary life. And, in its magnificence, it will take on its own unique form of balance.

•

Debbie Ford is a #1 New York Times best-selling author of four books, including The Right Questions (HarperCollins).

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

11

entrepreneur coach

Sell

• C.J. Hayden shares juicy tidbits about getting your business off the ground. Marketing Your Practice:

the

• Dorcas Kelley on tips to take the worry out of getting your practice off to a flying start!

Sizzle, Not the Steak!

magine being in an auto mechanic’s shop, and he tells you that he is going to lift the hood of your car, shine a light around and move some parts up and down. After doing this, he asks for payment. Does this sound like a service you would pay for? Of course not! What you want to hear from the mechanic is what he will do in order to have your car running smoothly again — the way you like it. Now, that’s value for money. Similarly, if you’re not telling clients about the results your work produces and the benefits they will get from it, they won’t see its value.

I

market to clients with a budget for luxuries, or you’ll limit your rate to only what people will pay for something that’s nice, but not necessary.

When someone asks you, “What is coaching?” it’s not particularly enticing to answer, “We meet by phone for half an hour each week and talk about your goals.” That’s just the process you use. What you want to get across are the benefits to the client.

R

Perhaps you are concerned about promising results to your clients. After all, it’s the clients who must do the work, and if they don’t do their part, the results won’t occur. Yes, and the time to discuss that with your clients is when they are deciding whether or not to hire you. To convince clients to consider coaching as an option in the first place, you need to offer them a tangible benefit.

eturning to our example of the auto mechanic: the sign posted on the front of his shop advertises “Repairs.” It doesn’t say, “Conversations about Possible Repairs.” As a prospective customer, the sign brings you in. Then you have a conversation with the mechanic about your problem, and nine times out of 10, he tells you he’s not sure It would be more tantalizing to say, “Coaching is a process that helps if he can fix your car, but he will make a diagnosis and tell you what the you get what you want.” Now, some value is being declared! But a more next steps are. Instead of feeling cheated by his misleading sign, you are alluring approach would be not to sell coaching at more likely to feel taken care of because the mechanic all, but instead to promote the results, such as has integrity; he isn’t promising something he can’t higher earnings, improved relationships or more deliver. dentify the benefits that best reflect the value of your fulfilling work. It would be better to respond with a own particular coaching niche, statement of benefits rather than with a definition. As a coach, when you tell people you offer increased and use them to describe For example, “I help my clients learn to make prosperity, improved relationships, or better life balpowerfully what you do. more money with less effort,” or “to navigate relaance, this will bring prospective clients to your door. Increases clarity, satisfaction, tionships with ease,” or “to find the perfect job.” That’s when you have the conversation about what success or productivity. those results depend on, and whose responsibility it is Improves time management, Whenever possible, describe benefits on which your to achieve them. goal setting, communication or clients can place a cash value. You’re asking them management ability. to pay you money. If they can see what value — “Sell the sizzle, not the steak!” is an old proverb in Decreases procrastination, struggle, clutter or feeling financial or otherwise — they will get in return, sales and marketing. Just assume that your clients overwhelmed. they are much more likely to write a check. When want the “steak” of coaching — structure, support, Facilitates change, learning, it isn’t realistic to suggest a monetary benefit, and feedback — to reach their goals. Who wouldn’t life balance or teamwork. make what you are offering as tangible as you can. want that? The trick is to make them want it now, and from you! That’s where the sizzle comes in. If you can Tell a corporate client about improved productivity, get them to hear, smell, and taste the tangible benefits of what you have increased employee retention, better job satisfaction or improved cooperto offer, you’ll attract clients who never even knew that what they wanted ation. For individuals, describe how they can reach their goals more was called coaching. quickly, improve their standards of living or achieve a healthier lifestyle. C.J. Hayden is the author of Get Clients NOW! (AMACOM), Get Hired NOW! and Position your service as the answer to an essential need. If you allow it The One-Person Marketing Plan Workbook. to be something that’s just “nice to have,” you will either limit your

I

•

12

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

6

entrepreneur coach

Six Tips for New Coaches o you’ve been well trained as a coach and are looking to set up your coaching practice. When you are first starting out, what should you do first? The myriad tasks involved in starting a business can seem overwhelming. But don’t panic, there are only six things you need to focus on in your first year. Anyone can work on six things, right? So use the list below to focus your efforts and bring ease into your start-up year. Don’t forget to use your coach to help you make progress toward your goals.

S

Continue to build your coaching and communication skills. Coaching skills can be

1

enhanced through professional training and through practice, practice, practice with as many clients as possible. To improve communication skills, consider joining your local Toastmasters or Speaking Circles.

Develop a vision for your business and your role in the business. Set aside quiet time

2

to dream about your business and how you want it to fit into your life. As you gain clarity on your business vision, your passions and your values, you will be greatly increasing your chances for business success.

Create your initial marketing plan and materials. What is your target market or niche? How

3

will you reach it? Your initial marketing materials can be as simple as a business card and a versatile elevator speech.

Manage your time wisely. Be realistic about

4

how much time you can spend on your business and don’t spread yourself so thin that you lose life balance. Establish a generic weekly schedule to manage your time in the most efficient and effective manner. Determine a few achievable goals and work toward them in an organized fashion. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day!

Develop some basic office processes and systems. Start with simple, manual processes.

5

Find out what works for you first before you move to a sophisticated or PC-based program. The first process to focus on is tracking your expenses and revenue. Record keeping can be as easy as a piece of paper, a basket for receipts and a monthly accordion file. The second process to develop is managing client paperwork. Again, start simple. A cardboard box with hanging folders works nicely.

Handle the initial office details. Set your-

6

self up with a good phone, headset, voicemail and e-mail. In addition, take care of the business start-up paperwork, including any business licenses and fictitious name permits. These requirements vary by geography, so research what is needed for your location. These six steps will continue to evolve throughout the life of your business, so don’t think that your first decisions — or even your second or third — will lock you in. One of the wonderful things about having your own business is that it is a continual work in progress; nothing is set in stone. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop! Take a big breath and relax. Just count to six and you’ll be on your way!

•

Dorcas Kelley, CPCC, CMC, ACC, is the author of The Business of Coaching.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

13

entrepreneur coach

Sell

• C.J. Hayden shares juicy tidbits about getting your business off the ground. Marketing Your Practice:

the

• Dorcas Kelley on tips to take the worry out of getting your practice off to a flying start!

Sizzle, Not the Steak!

magine being in an auto mechanic’s shop, and he tells you that he is going to lift the hood of your car, shine a light around and move some parts up and down. After doing this, he asks for payment. Does this sound like a service you would pay for? Of course not! What you want to hear from the mechanic is what he will do in order to have your car running smoothly again — the way you like it. Now, that’s value for money. Similarly, if you’re not telling clients about the results your work produces and the benefits they will get from it, they won’t see its value.

I

market to clients with a budget for luxuries, or you’ll limit your rate to only what people will pay for something that’s nice, but not necessary.

When someone asks you, “What is coaching?” it’s not particularly enticing to answer, “We meet by phone for half an hour each week and talk about your goals.” That’s just the process you use. What you want to get across are the benefits to the client.

R

Perhaps you are concerned about promising results to your clients. After all, it’s the clients who must do the work, and if they don’t do their part, the results won’t occur. Yes, and the time to discuss that with your clients is when they are deciding whether or not to hire you. To convince clients to consider coaching as an option in the first place, you need to offer them a tangible benefit.

eturning to our example of the auto mechanic: the sign posted on the front of his shop advertises “Repairs.” It doesn’t say, “Conversations about Possible Repairs.” As a prospective customer, the sign brings you in. Then you have a conversation with the mechanic about your problem, and nine times out of 10, he tells you he’s not sure It would be more tantalizing to say, “Coaching is a process that helps if he can fix your car, but he will make a diagnosis and tell you what the you get what you want.” Now, some value is being declared! But a more next steps are. Instead of feeling cheated by his misleading sign, you are alluring approach would be not to sell coaching at more likely to feel taken care of because the mechanic all, but instead to promote the results, such as has integrity; he isn’t promising something he can’t higher earnings, improved relationships or more deliver. dentify the benefits that best reflect the value of your fulfilling work. It would be better to respond with a own particular coaching niche, statement of benefits rather than with a definition. As a coach, when you tell people you offer increased and use them to describe For example, “I help my clients learn to make prosperity, improved relationships, or better life balpowerfully what you do. more money with less effort,” or “to navigate relaance, this will bring prospective clients to your door. Increases clarity, satisfaction, tionships with ease,” or “to find the perfect job.” That’s when you have the conversation about what success or productivity. those results depend on, and whose responsibility it is Improves time management, Whenever possible, describe benefits on which your to achieve them. goal setting, communication or clients can place a cash value. You’re asking them management ability. to pay you money. If they can see what value — “Sell the sizzle, not the steak!” is an old proverb in Decreases procrastination, struggle, clutter or feeling financial or otherwise — they will get in return, sales and marketing. Just assume that your clients overwhelmed. they are much more likely to write a check. When want the “steak” of coaching — structure, support, Facilitates change, learning, it isn’t realistic to suggest a monetary benefit, and feedback — to reach their goals. Who wouldn’t life balance or teamwork. make what you are offering as tangible as you can. want that? The trick is to make them want it now, and from you! That’s where the sizzle comes in. If you can Tell a corporate client about improved productivity, get them to hear, smell, and taste the tangible benefits of what you have increased employee retention, better job satisfaction or improved cooperto offer, you’ll attract clients who never even knew that what they wanted ation. For individuals, describe how they can reach their goals more was called coaching. quickly, improve their standards of living or achieve a healthier lifestyle. C.J. Hayden is the author of Get Clients NOW! (AMACOM), Get Hired NOW! and Position your service as the answer to an essential need. If you allow it The One-Person Marketing Plan Workbook. to be something that’s just “nice to have,” you will either limit your

I

•

12

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

6

entrepreneur coach

Six Tips for New Coaches o you’ve been well trained as a coach and are looking to set up your coaching practice. When you are first starting out, what should you do first? The myriad tasks involved in starting a business can seem overwhelming. But don’t panic, there are only six things you need to focus on in your first year. Anyone can work on six things, right? So use the list below to focus your efforts and bring ease into your start-up year. Don’t forget to use your coach to help you make progress toward your goals.

S

Continue to build your coaching and communication skills. Coaching skills can be

1

enhanced through professional training and through practice, practice, practice with as many clients as possible. To improve communication skills, consider joining your local Toastmasters or Speaking Circles.

Develop a vision for your business and your role in the business. Set aside quiet time

2

to dream about your business and how you want it to fit into your life. As you gain clarity on your business vision, your passions and your values, you will be greatly increasing your chances for business success.

Create your initial marketing plan and materials. What is your target market or niche? How

3

will you reach it? Your initial marketing materials can be as simple as a business card and a versatile elevator speech.

Manage your time wisely. Be realistic about

4

how much time you can spend on your business and don’t spread yourself so thin that you lose life balance. Establish a generic weekly schedule to manage your time in the most efficient and effective manner. Determine a few achievable goals and work toward them in an organized fashion. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day!

Develop some basic office processes and systems. Start with simple, manual processes.

5

Find out what works for you first before you move to a sophisticated or PC-based program. The first process to focus on is tracking your expenses and revenue. Record keeping can be as easy as a piece of paper, a basket for receipts and a monthly accordion file. The second process to develop is managing client paperwork. Again, start simple. A cardboard box with hanging folders works nicely.

Handle the initial office details. Set your-

6

self up with a good phone, headset, voicemail and e-mail. In addition, take care of the business start-up paperwork, including any business licenses and fictitious name permits. These requirements vary by geography, so research what is needed for your location. These six steps will continue to evolve throughout the life of your business, so don’t think that your first decisions — or even your second or third — will lock you in. One of the wonderful things about having your own business is that it is a continual work in progress; nothing is set in stone. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, stop! Take a big breath and relax. Just count to six and you’ll be on your way!

•

Dorcas Kelley, CPCC, CMC, ACC, is the author of The Business of Coaching.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

13

entrepreneur coach

entrepreneur coach

• How do you select professionals who will help you succeed at your coaching practice?

At a networking event Jane attended a few months ago, she met a man who boasted of having 25 years’ experience in marketing for various corporations. The first time he ever met her he told her that her business needed a complete overhaul — new name, direction, logo, colors, website, the works! It all sounded pretty exciting to Jane who is an adventurous soul. So they agreed that he would create a new look for her, while she would provide him with a number of coaching sessions in exchange.

What qualities must a website and logo designer, copywriter or virtual assistant possess? But, first, do you even need a group — your “dream team” — that will help you express and support your vision? Ileana A. Rontea’s response is, “Buyer beware!”

Choosing Your Dream Team hen first we decide to open our own business, especially a home-based one, we all know we can’t do everything ourselves, although we may be tempted to. We know we’re not lawyers or accountants, so we’re okay with delegating those tasks. But we often try to do those other things ourselves — even though they also require advanced abilities — such as website and logo design or writing content for our sales and marketing materials.

W

This person proceeded to create an introductory portfolio for Jane, without asking her any questions, and before she had done any coaching with him. He didn’t ask to see her business plan and therefore had no idea of her long-term goals. He never even had a lengthy conversation with her. In other words, he knew nothing about her and obviously was not interested in getting to know her as a person or a coach. He used his many years of experience to create something for Jane that had nothing to do with her at all! Needless to say, Jane liked nothing about the materials he produced — from the colors he used to the new logo. In addition, he made the mistake of relentlessly criticizing everything her other team members had created for her, and intimated that everything he had not created was garbage. Jane was understandably angry, recognizing that this person was motivated only by personal gain, and didn’t have her best interests at heart.

Unfortunately, because her business is booming at this point, she is content to leave her website as is. However, once she has a competitor or two, she will be at a distinct disadvantage because glaring errors point to a lack of professionalism and dedication to excellence. Unless she makes the necessary changes, her venture will ultimately suffer because of a lack of vision and not understanding that money spent now on impeccable presentation will bring in substantial revenue later.

o your homework when selecting those people who will work with you to co-create your marketing strategy and materials that will ultimately reflect your vision and your brand. Think in terms of a longterm association, as opposed to a project-based one. The best way to find the right people is through referrals from others you trust, but even then you need to conduct your own research.

D

Find the right people through referrals from others you trust.

“

14

Time is the one thing we are always short of. So, will you spend your precious time designing and composing website content, acquiring more clients or providing phenomenal service to the ones you already have? This issue becomes compounded if you don’t know how to do web or logo design, but try to master these skills in “no time.” The results are often so poorly done that, instead of attracting prospective clients, you turn them away!

So, how do you pick your team? To answer this question, let’s look at some complications other coaches have encountered in this process. One complaint I often hear from my clients is that they are working on a logo with a designer who just “doesn’t get it.” Or, maybe, it’s a web designer who somehow doesn’t take direction very well and is repeatedly presenting unacceptable drafts. How about an accountant you feel uncomfortable with because your level of risk tolerance is higher than his?

Here’s a case in point. A few months ago, I met someone at a networking event who has a very unique business; so unique that, at this point, she has no competition! Unfortunately, this person has decided to do it all herself — create her own website and write her own marketing materials without benefit of an editor. After visiting her site, I ran into her and gently pointed out that correct grammar, spelling and lexicon usage would go a long way in supporting her message.

e careful about hiring someone you don’t know and who doesn’t appear to want to get to know you first! My client, Jane, found this out the hard way. Jane and I have worked together for some time devising ongoing strategy for her coaching business and creating some fun and dynamic marketing materials. Jane has also worked with another talented woman who created her logo and designed her website; we are both part of her dream team, as she calls it.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

B

”

Here are six tips on selecting the most well suited individuals to work with:

them a complimentary coaching • Offer session, if appropriate, so that they can experience what you do as well as allow you to experience them firsthand. If the fit is right, you might even end up bartering services, which many people do when first going into business. The caution here is to make sure that this is someone you would want to coach regardless of any other business relationship.

your team members based on • Choose their competencies, portfolios, skill sets, levels of enthusiasm and, most importantly, make sure they understand you — what you are trying to accomplish, who you like to work with and how you coach. If they have prior experience working with coaches, even better! They should ask you a number of questions, getting as much information from you as possible regarding your short- and long-term goals.

professionals who are accustomed • Select to working with home-based business owners, as opposed to corporate clients. Some professionals prefer working with corporations because they require less “hand holding.” Also, less time is spent getting to know them and respecting individual preferences. Professionals who specialize in working with entrepreneurs do so because they enjoy the personal contact, the excitement and synergy that are generated when collaborating with another “sole-preneur.”

designers with samples of work • Present you like and don’t like, and tell them why you feel this way. Be ready to contribute to the effort by being available to answer any questions and by giving complete feedback on the project at different stages.

appropriate, discuss colors, • Where special design and language preferences as well as other elements of uniqueness. This is exactly the input these creative people need from you. A designer’s job is to understand you and your essence and to be able to reflect that outwardly in such a way that your audience will respond favorably.

your target market and coaching • Know niche, so that your marketing efforts can reach your intended audience. If you are a brand-new coach and don’t know your target market, with enough time and experience, you eventually will. However, when you are ready to advertise yourself as a life coach, your main goal is to look professional and inspire confidence. By that point you should have a good idea of who you really enjoy working with. Keep in mind that there are many other coaches out there, and you need to differentiate your business from everyone else’s. Choose your team members as carefully as you would choose your business or mentor coach. Use your intuition, do your research, ask questions and gauge your level of excitement and comfort at the thought of working with each of your teammates. As your practice grows, you may want to change some things, such as expanding into coaching entrepreneurs or women returning to the workforce. Or, perhaps, you might need to change your name and logo because of a new partnership. If you have developed and nurtured strong connections with your team all along, they will be there to help you in your new endeavors and along the path of continued success.

•

Ileana Rontea is Chief Creative Officer of Mind Ignition Associates.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

15

entrepreneur coach

entrepreneur coach

• How do you select professionals who will help you succeed at your coaching practice?

At a networking event Jane attended a few months ago, she met a man who boasted of having 25 years’ experience in marketing for various corporations. The first time he ever met her he told her that her business needed a complete overhaul — new name, direction, logo, colors, website, the works! It all sounded pretty exciting to Jane who is an adventurous soul. So they agreed that he would create a new look for her, while she would provide him with a number of coaching sessions in exchange.

What qualities must a website and logo designer, copywriter or virtual assistant possess? But, first, do you even need a group — your “dream team” — that will help you express and support your vision? Ileana A. Rontea’s response is, “Buyer beware!”

Choosing Your Dream Team hen first we decide to open our own business, especially a home-based one, we all know we can’t do everything ourselves, although we may be tempted to. We know we’re not lawyers or accountants, so we’re okay with delegating those tasks. But we often try to do those other things ourselves — even though they also require advanced abilities — such as website and logo design or writing content for our sales and marketing materials.

W

This person proceeded to create an introductory portfolio for Jane, without asking her any questions, and before she had done any coaching with him. He didn’t ask to see her business plan and therefore had no idea of her long-term goals. He never even had a lengthy conversation with her. In other words, he knew nothing about her and obviously was not interested in getting to know her as a person or a coach. He used his many years of experience to create something for Jane that had nothing to do with her at all! Needless to say, Jane liked nothing about the materials he produced — from the colors he used to the new logo. In addition, he made the mistake of relentlessly criticizing everything her other team members had created for her, and intimated that everything he had not created was garbage. Jane was understandably angry, recognizing that this person was motivated only by personal gain, and didn’t have her best interests at heart.

Unfortunately, because her business is booming at this point, she is content to leave her website as is. However, once she has a competitor or two, she will be at a distinct disadvantage because glaring errors point to a lack of professionalism and dedication to excellence. Unless she makes the necessary changes, her venture will ultimately suffer because of a lack of vision and not understanding that money spent now on impeccable presentation will bring in substantial revenue later.

o your homework when selecting those people who will work with you to co-create your marketing strategy and materials that will ultimately reflect your vision and your brand. Think in terms of a longterm association, as opposed to a project-based one. The best way to find the right people is through referrals from others you trust, but even then you need to conduct your own research.

D

Find the right people through referrals from others you trust.

“

14

Time is the one thing we are always short of. So, will you spend your precious time designing and composing website content, acquiring more clients or providing phenomenal service to the ones you already have? This issue becomes compounded if you don’t know how to do web or logo design, but try to master these skills in “no time.” The results are often so poorly done that, instead of attracting prospective clients, you turn them away!

So, how do you pick your team? To answer this question, let’s look at some complications other coaches have encountered in this process. One complaint I often hear from my clients is that they are working on a logo with a designer who just “doesn’t get it.” Or, maybe, it’s a web designer who somehow doesn’t take direction very well and is repeatedly presenting unacceptable drafts. How about an accountant you feel uncomfortable with because your level of risk tolerance is higher than his?

Here’s a case in point. A few months ago, I met someone at a networking event who has a very unique business; so unique that, at this point, she has no competition! Unfortunately, this person has decided to do it all herself — create her own website and write her own marketing materials without benefit of an editor. After visiting her site, I ran into her and gently pointed out that correct grammar, spelling and lexicon usage would go a long way in supporting her message.

e careful about hiring someone you don’t know and who doesn’t appear to want to get to know you first! My client, Jane, found this out the hard way. Jane and I have worked together for some time devising ongoing strategy for her coaching business and creating some fun and dynamic marketing materials. Jane has also worked with another talented woman who created her logo and designed her website; we are both part of her dream team, as she calls it.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

B

”

Here are six tips on selecting the most well suited individuals to work with:

them a complimentary coaching • Offer session, if appropriate, so that they can experience what you do as well as allow you to experience them firsthand. If the fit is right, you might even end up bartering services, which many people do when first going into business. The caution here is to make sure that this is someone you would want to coach regardless of any other business relationship.

your team members based on • Choose their competencies, portfolios, skill sets, levels of enthusiasm and, most importantly, make sure they understand you — what you are trying to accomplish, who you like to work with and how you coach. If they have prior experience working with coaches, even better! They should ask you a number of questions, getting as much information from you as possible regarding your short- and long-term goals.

professionals who are accustomed • Select to working with home-based business owners, as opposed to corporate clients. Some professionals prefer working with corporations because they require less “hand holding.” Also, less time is spent getting to know them and respecting individual preferences. Professionals who specialize in working with entrepreneurs do so because they enjoy the personal contact, the excitement and synergy that are generated when collaborating with another “sole-preneur.”

designers with samples of work • Present you like and don’t like, and tell them why you feel this way. Be ready to contribute to the effort by being available to answer any questions and by giving complete feedback on the project at different stages.

appropriate, discuss colors, • Where special design and language preferences as well as other elements of uniqueness. This is exactly the input these creative people need from you. A designer’s job is to understand you and your essence and to be able to reflect that outwardly in such a way that your audience will respond favorably.

your target market and coaching • Know niche, so that your marketing efforts can reach your intended audience. If you are a brand-new coach and don’t know your target market, with enough time and experience, you eventually will. However, when you are ready to advertise yourself as a life coach, your main goal is to look professional and inspire confidence. By that point you should have a good idea of who you really enjoy working with. Keep in mind that there are many other coaches out there, and you need to differentiate your business from everyone else’s. Choose your team members as carefully as you would choose your business or mentor coach. Use your intuition, do your research, ask questions and gauge your level of excitement and comfort at the thought of working with each of your teammates. As your practice grows, you may want to change some things, such as expanding into coaching entrepreneurs or women returning to the workforce. Or, perhaps, you might need to change your name and logo because of a new partnership. If you have developed and nurtured strong connections with your team all along, they will be there to help you in your new endeavors and along the path of continued success.

•

Ileana Rontea is Chief Creative Officer of Mind Ignition Associates.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

15

sticky situations

• This column presents sticky situations that give us a window into critical moments in which coaches feel stuck, need advice from senior coaches or just want to learn new ways of handling old issues. This panel, which lends its expertise to this column, comes from various niches and gives their perspective on the coaching situation.

Here’s a sticky situation from a coach in New York who writes: My client is neglecting her six-year-old daughter. She’s a single mother who works and “ commutes ten hours a day. She comes home exhausted and relies on her live-in caretaker to feed and transport her daughter to and from school. My heart aches for her daughter and I’m getting mad at this abuse. What do you suggest?

”

relationship with your daughter? Would you like to do more?”

“Chill out … get your bearings,” recommends

Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC, personal and executive coach.

Advertise your business with us! At choice, we are also dedicated to helping you get the word out about your business. To advertise with us, send your ads and/or enquiries to [email protected], along with your name and e-mail address.

For choice advertising guidelines, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

areful, your “stuff” is coming up here. You have a lot of judgment about this mother and her treatment of her child. You have gone so far as to call it abuse and condemn your client. You are letting your own values get in the way of your coaching. This automatically disqualifies you as this woman’s coach, because you are no longer on her side.

C

The truth is you may not know what it is she does do with her daughter. What kind of agreement do they have? What do they do on weekends? What rituals do they enjoy? What happens at bedtime, bath time and playtime? My dear coach, you have made a fierce judgment and a large assumption. Get the facts; see where there is room for coaching. Get off your judge’s bench and back on the bandwagon as a support to this mom who hired you to help her do better.

Craig Carr, PCC, business and personal coach, reminds coaches that they have permission to have their feelings.

That is not to say that there isn’t work to be done to help this client. She could stand to gain more balance in her life by re-visiting the kind of relationship she’d like to have with her child, but you are not an accomplice to a crime that would register in the law books. Please, chill out for a minute and get your bearings. When you have regained your objectivity, think about what you would like to ask your client. How about, “Are you happy with the level of connection you have with your daughter?” “What does your daughter say about all the time you spend away from home?” Or, “What would be your ideal mother/daughter activity, and how often could you schedule one?” You could also let your concern be known in a constructive way, such as: “I know being a single mom must take a lot out of you, and I know how much attention kids need. What are you doing to nurture your

T

he passage through this situation resides in the words, “My heart aches … I’m getting mad.”

In situations like this, a coach must lean into three important advanced skills: • “Share from Self” – speak what is going on for you. Trust the part you play in a designed and powerful relationship. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

17

sticky situations

• This column presents sticky situations that give us a window into critical moments in which coaches feel stuck, need advice from senior coaches or just want to learn new ways of handling old issues. This panel, which lends its expertise to this column, comes from various niches and gives their perspective on the coaching situation.

Here’s a sticky situation from a coach in New York who writes: My client is neglecting her six-year-old daughter. She’s a single mother who works and “ commutes ten hours a day. She comes home exhausted and relies on her live-in caretaker to feed and transport her daughter to and from school. My heart aches for her daughter and I’m getting mad at this abuse. What do you suggest?

”

relationship with your daughter? Would you like to do more?”

“Chill out … get your bearings,” recommends

Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC, personal and executive coach.

Advertise your business with us! At choice, we are also dedicated to helping you get the word out about your business. To advertise with us, send your ads and/or enquiries to [email protected], along with your name and e-mail address.

For choice advertising guidelines, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

areful, your “stuff” is coming up here. You have a lot of judgment about this mother and her treatment of her child. You have gone so far as to call it abuse and condemn your client. You are letting your own values get in the way of your coaching. This automatically disqualifies you as this woman’s coach, because you are no longer on her side.

C

The truth is you may not know what it is she does do with her daughter. What kind of agreement do they have? What do they do on weekends? What rituals do they enjoy? What happens at bedtime, bath time and playtime? My dear coach, you have made a fierce judgment and a large assumption. Get the facts; see where there is room for coaching. Get off your judge’s bench and back on the bandwagon as a support to this mom who hired you to help her do better.

Craig Carr, PCC, business and personal coach, reminds coaches that they have permission to have their feelings.

That is not to say that there isn’t work to be done to help this client. She could stand to gain more balance in her life by re-visiting the kind of relationship she’d like to have with her child, but you are not an accomplice to a crime that would register in the law books. Please, chill out for a minute and get your bearings. When you have regained your objectivity, think about what you would like to ask your client. How about, “Are you happy with the level of connection you have with your daughter?” “What does your daughter say about all the time you spend away from home?” Or, “What would be your ideal mother/daughter activity, and how often could you schedule one?” You could also let your concern be known in a constructive way, such as: “I know being a single mom must take a lot out of you, and I know how much attention kids need. What are you doing to nurture your

T

he passage through this situation resides in the words, “My heart aches … I’m getting mad.”

In situations like this, a coach must lean into three important advanced skills: • “Share from Self” – speak what is going on for you. Trust the part you play in a designed and powerful relationship. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

17

sticky situations • “Honor the big agenda”– deepen the discovery of what she is wanting through actions that may not be elegant or smart, but question assumptions without making her feel wrong about her choices. Be curious and dig deeper into the learning that is available. • “Manage your emotions” — this skill ties into the first one and definitely does not imply that you suppress feelings or “go distant” on your client. If your relationship is powerfully designed, you already have permission to have your feelings and, more to the point, your client has an expectation to hear what they are. The energy in your emotions will work for or against the relationship depending on the vulnerability, timing and authenticity in which you manage them. The bottom line here is to trust that if you are having these feelings; then it is extremely likely that, at some level of awareness, so is your client and so are other people in her life. Your job as a mirror for the client’s whole life is to be the one who speaks out. It’s time to earn your keep and, in the process, learn more about who you are and how you show up in a tight spot! Can you be spacious enough to have compassion and have your convictions? Can you stay open to her side of the story, hear the bigger agenda underneath the behavior and stay true to the outcomes you have been hired to fulfill? Are you willing to be completely misunderstood, field projections thrown onto you and go through thinking you have failed? If the answer is “yes” to these questions, then the future bodes well for the way past this sticky situation. Remember, finally, the sense of danger that you may be feeling is aliveness and passion for Life. There is a wanting for some other expression of it, and your job is to go after it!

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D., offers a step-by-step approach to resolving this “sticky situation.”

which makes you angry, but not very objective or helpful. She will pick up on this and feel even more stressed. Remember that this person is doing the best she can from her present perspective. She obviously feels that a job with a long commute is her only option. Align with her. Let her know you really respect the time she is putting in to support herself and her child. Ask her if it’s important to her to spend more time with her daughter. Explore childhood messages she got about work, money, parenting and responsibility. Get her to talk about how she was parented. Does she want to repeat these patterns? What are her most important values in life? Shift her focus to what would be “ideal.” Here are some suggestions: • First, ask her to make a list of exactly what she does not want (stress, no time with her daughter, long commute, boring job, and so on). • Next, make another list of what her ideal life would be (to make more money and work fewer hours, work closer to home, time to have fun with her daughter, feeling good at the end of the day). • Help her see that by opening to the possibility that life could be different, she will automatically start attracting different results. She has to transform her belief (or expectation) that the only available work is exhausting, or that, as a single mother, she has to take whatever she can get. Have you explored whether she subconsciously feels guilty about being a single mother, and might be “punishing herself” by working so hard? • Install a positive expectation in each session: “Now that you’ve defined what would be ideal for you, let’s notice who and what comes into your life this week.” • Encourage interim schedule changes. Encourage her to let her daughter know how much she loves her. Plan fun things to look forward to. Hope this is enough to get you started in a different direction.

•

our own agenda might be taking precedence over the client’s. You seem to be responding with your emotions and judging the mother,

Y

Do you have a sticky situation that you want help with or a different perspective on? You don’t have to go it alone. Let our senior coaches give you a hand. Please send your situations to: [email protected]. 18

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

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exec direct

exec direct In one case, the client was a hi-tech company in Silicon Valley that offered coaching to three senior leaders considered to be “at risk” for leaving the company. All three remained with the company and are thriving five years later. Measured in dollars, this equaled a savings of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Factored in were front-end costs of re-hiring to fill the slots if the executives left the company, and the back-end costs of fulfilling contract bonuses and other benefits.

• Not just for executives anymore, Patricia Overland and Linda Miller look at the various ways coaching is making its presence felt at all levels in organizations.

Coaching and the Corporate

orporations are looking for innovative ways to retain talent, sustain learning, develop individuals and manage change from a whole new perspective. How do you keep a fast track leader from moving to the competition? How do you ensure that your significant training investment doesn’t collect dust on a shelf? How can you help individuals chart a realistic career path? How do you collapse the cycle of change? To find solutions to these perplexing questions, more and more corporations are turning to coaching as a solution.

C

Patricia Overland, of The Overland Group, works with client organizations that are focused on retaining their key people. “We can’t afford to lose our top talent,” commented one of her clients, a vice president of human resources in a Silicon Valley company. “We could replace him, but at what cost?” As well as replacement value, organizations are looking at what else is lost when a top performer leaves. “Innovation and creativity reside in individuals, and they go with me when I go,” commented one of Patricia’s clients. How can you put a dollar amount on that? His corporation did. He was offered coaching as a perk. In this case, while no guarantee was made that coaching would keep the individual in the corporation, he felt acknowledged and valued enough to take a second look at his career, and he decided to stay. When asked about his decision, he commented that anyone willing to offer him individualized attention must care enough to keep him.

Coaching can improve the bottom line.

“ 20

”

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Client

he Ken Blanchard Companies and Coaching.com offer coaching as a solution to sustain learning. Studies have shown that a training event alone does not change behavior and that adding coaching to training leverages the training dollar. Blanchard is seeing amazing results. The combination encourages clients to apply skills and concepts in their everyday work life. Clients are finding that coaching is a safe way to try out new skills, draft plans and test new behaviors in privacy and with confidentiality. Even better, this type of coaching can be short term, which is cost effective for the organization.

T

Okay. Corporations are interested in coaching, but let’s face it, spending big bucks with no measurable return doesn’t always fly in the boardroom. Tying coaching to bottom line results has long been a challenge when working in corporations. The more you can link the impact of coaching to profitability, the more corporate ears “perk up.” Measurable results count. The question is: How do you go about it? The Ken Blanchard Companies use two ways. First, they partner with an outside company to complete impact studies. Through intensive interviews conducted after the completion of coaching, participants look at the impact coaching has had on them personally and on their ability to meet goals, deadlines, sales quotas or other internal measures of success. Sales organizations reported that all of the individuals who received coaching made their sales quotas. Coaching was citied most often as the reason for meeting the goals. In that organization, the vice president of sales stated, “This has been the most effective learning initiative I have experienced in my career.” Impact studies are also used to measure coaching’s impact on individuals facing “burn out” or having unclear expectations about their roles within the company. About 25 percent of The Overland Group’s clients find ways to reinvent themselves, stay on with companies and contribute in new and innovative ways. Considering the cost of recruiting, hiring and training new employees can put an astonishing dollar amount, or return on investment (ROI), on the bottom line.

Clients find ways to reinvent themselves.

“

”

The second way to measure ROI is through surveys. A welldesigned survey collaboratively created between the client and the coach can drill down into what individuals experience and how those experiences impact on the company. Blanchard uses anonymous surveys where groups of individuals are receiving coaching. The Overland Group uses both anonymous and direct surveys. Results provide real numbers for clients.

word of caution. When designing surveys, be clear about what information you are looking for, and use care with wording. Setting expectations about what will happen with the collected results is imperative. For example, it is very different to ask, “Without coaching would you leave the company?” than “What impact has coaching had on your future with the company?” Both get at the central issue of “stay, don’t stay,” but from very different perspectives. We’ve also found that individuals are more likely to answer the latter question.

A

Understanding the corporate culture and structuring the language used in surveys are critical factors when collecting data. Clear and effective communication between the client and the coaching organization is also paramount. Consider the following when designing your survey: Who will see this data? How will it be used? What results will be reported back to individuals? What action will the client organization take based on the results? Coaching is no longer in its infancy. With more and more organizations trusting it, and with studies being generated to prove ROI, coaching is becoming a recognized standard in a variety of organizational settings. Just ask a few of your colleagues if they’ve heard about it and see what they say!

•

Patricia Overland is a principal in The Overland Group and is a senior coach for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Linda Miller, MCC, is the director of Coaching Services for The Ken Blanchard Companies.

exec direct

exec direct In one case, the client was a hi-tech company in Silicon Valley that offered coaching to three senior leaders considered to be “at risk” for leaving the company. All three remained with the company and are thriving five years later. Measured in dollars, this equaled a savings of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Factored in were front-end costs of re-hiring to fill the slots if the executives left the company, and the back-end costs of fulfilling contract bonuses and other benefits.

• Not just for executives anymore, Patricia Overland and Linda Miller look at the various ways coaching is making its presence felt at all levels in organizations.

Coaching and the Corporate

orporations are looking for innovative ways to retain talent, sustain learning, develop individuals and manage change from a whole new perspective. How do you keep a fast track leader from moving to the competition? How do you ensure that your significant training investment doesn’t collect dust on a shelf? How can you help individuals chart a realistic career path? How do you collapse the cycle of change? To find solutions to these perplexing questions, more and more corporations are turning to coaching as a solution.

C

Patricia Overland, of The Overland Group, works with client organizations that are focused on retaining their key people. “We can’t afford to lose our top talent,” commented one of her clients, a vice president of human resources in a Silicon Valley company. “We could replace him, but at what cost?” As well as replacement value, organizations are looking at what else is lost when a top performer leaves. “Innovation and creativity reside in individuals, and they go with me when I go,” commented one of Patricia’s clients. How can you put a dollar amount on that? His corporation did. He was offered coaching as a perk. In this case, while no guarantee was made that coaching would keep the individual in the corporation, he felt acknowledged and valued enough to take a second look at his career, and he decided to stay. When asked about his decision, he commented that anyone willing to offer him individualized attention must care enough to keep him.

Coaching can improve the bottom line.

“ 20

”

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Client

he Ken Blanchard Companies and Coaching.com offer coaching as a solution to sustain learning. Studies have shown that a training event alone does not change behavior and that adding coaching to training leverages the training dollar. Blanchard is seeing amazing results. The combination encourages clients to apply skills and concepts in their everyday work life. Clients are finding that coaching is a safe way to try out new skills, draft plans and test new behaviors in privacy and with confidentiality. Even better, this type of coaching can be short term, which is cost effective for the organization.

T

Okay. Corporations are interested in coaching, but let’s face it, spending big bucks with no measurable return doesn’t always fly in the boardroom. Tying coaching to bottom line results has long been a challenge when working in corporations. The more you can link the impact of coaching to profitability, the more corporate ears “perk up.” Measurable results count. The question is: How do you go about it? The Ken Blanchard Companies use two ways. First, they partner with an outside company to complete impact studies. Through intensive interviews conducted after the completion of coaching, participants look at the impact coaching has had on them personally and on their ability to meet goals, deadlines, sales quotas or other internal measures of success. Sales organizations reported that all of the individuals who received coaching made their sales quotas. Coaching was citied most often as the reason for meeting the goals. In that organization, the vice president of sales stated, “This has been the most effective learning initiative I have experienced in my career.” Impact studies are also used to measure coaching’s impact on individuals facing “burn out” or having unclear expectations about their roles within the company. About 25 percent of The Overland Group’s clients find ways to reinvent themselves, stay on with companies and contribute in new and innovative ways. Considering the cost of recruiting, hiring and training new employees can put an astonishing dollar amount, or return on investment (ROI), on the bottom line.

Clients find ways to reinvent themselves.

“

”

The second way to measure ROI is through surveys. A welldesigned survey collaboratively created between the client and the coach can drill down into what individuals experience and how those experiences impact on the company. Blanchard uses anonymous surveys where groups of individuals are receiving coaching. The Overland Group uses both anonymous and direct surveys. Results provide real numbers for clients.

word of caution. When designing surveys, be clear about what information you are looking for, and use care with wording. Setting expectations about what will happen with the collected results is imperative. For example, it is very different to ask, “Without coaching would you leave the company?” than “What impact has coaching had on your future with the company?” Both get at the central issue of “stay, don’t stay,” but from very different perspectives. We’ve also found that individuals are more likely to answer the latter question.

A

Understanding the corporate culture and structuring the language used in surveys are critical factors when collecting data. Clear and effective communication between the client and the coaching organization is also paramount. Consider the following when designing your survey: Who will see this data? How will it be used? What results will be reported back to individuals? What action will the client organization take based on the results? Coaching is no longer in its infancy. With more and more organizations trusting it, and with studies being generated to prove ROI, coaching is becoming a recognized standard in a variety of organizational settings. Just ask a few of your colleagues if they’ve heard about it and see what they say!

•

Patricia Overland is a principal in The Overland Group and is a senior coach for The Ken Blanchard Companies. Linda Miller, MCC, is the director of Coaching Services for The Ken Blanchard Companies.

coaching tools

coaching tools

• Languishing for innovative ways to enliven and refresh your coaching practice? Marcy Nelson-Garrison researches and presents the latest in coaching tools — toys, books, and other hard technologies such as phones and software. She suggests novel ways in which these products can be used or adapted.

The Labyrinth Inspiration Card Set, by Rebecca Just Be pendants and line of fine art cards by Leslie Bridger and • • Rodriguez, is another wonderful focusing tool. As you “walk” this fabric Kirsten Marion also provide great structures. And if you want something map with a guide stone and your finger, you invite intuition and balance and clear the mind for inspiration. “Silent Path” cards and “Expressive Path” cards help you reflect on and deepen your journey. The Labyrinth Inspiration Card Set awakens inspiration.

Get Creative with Q? Basics cards.

uniquely customized, there are two special offerings, Inspiration Wands by Val Olson and Spirit Essence Dolls by Amy Egenberger. Both of these products include a conversation with the artist/coach so that they can capture what you want to convey or reinforce in yourself or your clients. Liberate yourself! Just Be …

Liberate your creativity with Chiji Pocket Processor.

Are you or your client looking for the perfect object for focus, inspi• ration or celebration? The Wish Box helps honor dreams and visions, and an Enrichuals Bracelet can help focus an intention. Imagine, for example, wearing a bracelet called “What Your Soul Knows” to remind you to trust your own inner knowing. Each bracelet design comes with beautifully inspired words and suggestions to help you set intention. Honor dreams with The Wish Box

Another product that lends itself well to imagery is Enrichuals, • by Suzanne Vadnais Monson. Each card has a unique collage of images and words on one side and richly affirming text on the other. Any individual card in this deck provides a wealth of opportunity for reflection, inquiry and discovery. I can see them being used in groups, in initial client sessions and in daily reflection. Add an individual card to your client welcome packet or include one with an invoice for some extra spark and value added inspiration.

•

I am very excited to point you to the Walking Meditation CD by Jackie Levin, and to encourage you to experiment with it in a group setting. The key is to help participants get clear about the question they want answered before they use the CD. Whether used individually or in a group, the experience of the guided meditation is enhanced with a clear intention. The fact that movement is also a part of it adds another level to the learning.

• If you like creative ways to learn, you will like Q? Basics, by Coaching Toys. This is a colorful deck of 48 basic, open-ended coaching questions styled after the flash cards of your youth. It’s a fun way to master the basics of open-ended questions and introduce them to students or managers. It also makes a great completion gift for clients.

The great thing about images is the natural tendency we have to pro• ject meaning onto them. Imagery can be used to elicit your client’s intuition, stories, values, dreams or whatever is relevant in the moment. The Art Guidance Cards, 32 beautifully painted abstractions by Karin Bauer, do just that. Projective tools like these are perfect for workshops. Use them as a way to see where participants are in their learning, as a prompt for any exercise or to punctuate your learning points. 22

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

•

Chiji products by the Institute for Experiential Education • are perfect for creative facilitation of any group process. The Chiji

Marcy Nelson-Garrison is the President of Coaching Toys Inc.

Processing Cards are a deck of simple, graphic images that invite creative and flexible responses. They are also good for drawing out quiet participants. The Chiji Pocket Processor uses the yin/yang symbol, and each card reflects a set of polar opposites. They are a great way to generate lively discussion. Choose a card and ask, “Where are you on this continuum?” The possibilities for powerful inquiries with this tool are endless. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

23

coaching tools

coaching tools

• Languishing for innovative ways to enliven and refresh your coaching practice? Marcy Nelson-Garrison researches and presents the latest in coaching tools — toys, books, and other hard technologies such as phones and software. She suggests novel ways in which these products can be used or adapted.

The Labyrinth Inspiration Card Set, by Rebecca Just Be pendants and line of fine art cards by Leslie Bridger and • • Rodriguez, is another wonderful focusing tool. As you “walk” this fabric Kirsten Marion also provide great structures. And if you want something map with a guide stone and your finger, you invite intuition and balance and clear the mind for inspiration. “Silent Path” cards and “Expressive Path” cards help you reflect on and deepen your journey. The Labyrinth Inspiration Card Set awakens inspiration.

Get Creative with Q? Basics cards.

uniquely customized, there are two special offerings, Inspiration Wands by Val Olson and Spirit Essence Dolls by Amy Egenberger. Both of these products include a conversation with the artist/coach so that they can capture what you want to convey or reinforce in yourself or your clients. Liberate yourself! Just Be …

Liberate your creativity with Chiji Pocket Processor.

Are you or your client looking for the perfect object for focus, inspi• ration or celebration? The Wish Box helps honor dreams and visions, and an Enrichuals Bracelet can help focus an intention. Imagine, for example, wearing a bracelet called “What Your Soul Knows” to remind you to trust your own inner knowing. Each bracelet design comes with beautifully inspired words and suggestions to help you set intention. Honor dreams with The Wish Box

Another product that lends itself well to imagery is Enrichuals, • by Suzanne Vadnais Monson. Each card has a unique collage of images and words on one side and richly affirming text on the other. Any individual card in this deck provides a wealth of opportunity for reflection, inquiry and discovery. I can see them being used in groups, in initial client sessions and in daily reflection. Add an individual card to your client welcome packet or include one with an invoice for some extra spark and value added inspiration.

•

I am very excited to point you to the Walking Meditation CD by Jackie Levin, and to encourage you to experiment with it in a group setting. The key is to help participants get clear about the question they want answered before they use the CD. Whether used individually or in a group, the experience of the guided meditation is enhanced with a clear intention. The fact that movement is also a part of it adds another level to the learning.

• If you like creative ways to learn, you will like Q? Basics, by Coaching Toys. This is a colorful deck of 48 basic, open-ended coaching questions styled after the flash cards of your youth. It’s a fun way to master the basics of open-ended questions and introduce them to students or managers. It also makes a great completion gift for clients.

The great thing about images is the natural tendency we have to pro• ject meaning onto them. Imagery can be used to elicit your client’s intuition, stories, values, dreams or whatever is relevant in the moment. The Art Guidance Cards, 32 beautifully painted abstractions by Karin Bauer, do just that. Projective tools like these are perfect for workshops. Use them as a way to see where participants are in their learning, as a prompt for any exercise or to punctuate your learning points. 22

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

•

Chiji products by the Institute for Experiential Education • are perfect for creative facilitation of any group process. The Chiji

Marcy Nelson-Garrison is the President of Coaching Toys Inc.

Processing Cards are a deck of simple, graphic images that invite creative and flexible responses. They are also good for drawing out quiet participants. The Chiji Pocket Processor uses the yin/yang symbol, and each card reflects a set of polar opposites. They are a great way to generate lively discussion. Choose a card and ask, “Where are you on this continuum?” The possibilities for powerful inquiries with this tool are endless. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

23

It is the drop whose ripple is felt around the world...

Phil Sandahl, “coaching is the process of imagining, clarifying and choosing. It helps you draw the map, select the mode of transportation and, in the process, learn a new way to “travel.”

Coaching:

Photo by Kernie Guaida

What is coaching?

• What is Coaching? For

An Empowering Choice magine this scenario: One morning you decide that this is the day to leave home. You want to be someplace else. You walk out the front door, go down to the street and, at your front door, you make your first choice: do you go left or right? Actually, it’s your second choice — your first was to decide to leave home. However, you really don’t need a coach to help you decide whether to turn right or left; you could just as easily flip a coin, follow a hunch or ask a passing stranger.

I

As we embark on this journey, we are mindful and appreciative of the ripple of excitement that has been created by all who have contributed and have brought us to this point. The drop that starts the ripple is what we sincerely hope choice becomes for you, the coach, the client, the human resources practitioner and anyone else who embraces coaching as a means of initiating a new way of traveling, growing and being in the world.

o, what is coaching? Coaching is … well, different things to different people. It can, among other things, empower us to take risks, jump-start our careers, clarify and attain our goals, or improve our relationships — personally and professionally. As one of our feature authors puts it, “Coaching helps us catch what we need, deflect the unnecessary, and totally disregard the irrelevant.” And this is true not only at the personal level, but in the corporate world, as well. “Coaching creates a context for decision-making in an organization where efficiency is the goal.”

S

And is it only the client who benefits? Since coaching is about mutuality, apparently not. Coaching is also about “respect, unconditional support and bringing nothing but your very best to the table.”

So what’s coaching and why is it becoming part of the mainstream? In its simplest form, coaching has emerged over the last 15 years or so because it assists people in getting where they want to go more efficiently and effectively and, in the process, they learn a new way to “travel.” It’s important to note that nobody needs a coach; not the way one needs food, clothing, shelter or healing from injury or pain. Coaching is an additive that:

• • • • •

Clarifies direction and destination Unleashes potential and resources Accelerates progress Removes obstacles Builds bridges

Coaching could help you decide where you specifically wanted to get to when you leave home. While “anywhere” may qualify, you’d no doubt have to make quite a few trials before you find the destination that fits. oaching is the process of imagining, clarifying and choosing. Coaching helps you draw the map and select the mode of transportation. And the “you” could be an individual, a team or an organization.

C

Are you ready for this voyage? Read on and find out… — Maureen A. Ford and Marguerite Martindale 24

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Let’s take organizations as an example. These days, people in an organization can connect via cell phone and share information just about anywhere in the world, any time of the day or night. Imagine for a moment that we were suddenly transported back to the days of the pony express. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

25

It is the drop whose ripple is felt around the world...

Phil Sandahl, “coaching is the process of imagining, clarifying and choosing. It helps you draw the map, select the mode of transportation and, in the process, learn a new way to “travel.”

Coaching:

Photo by Kernie Guaida

What is coaching?

• What is Coaching? For

An Empowering Choice magine this scenario: One morning you decide that this is the day to leave home. You want to be someplace else. You walk out the front door, go down to the street and, at your front door, you make your first choice: do you go left or right? Actually, it’s your second choice — your first was to decide to leave home. However, you really don’t need a coach to help you decide whether to turn right or left; you could just as easily flip a coin, follow a hunch or ask a passing stranger.

I

As we embark on this journey, we are mindful and appreciative of the ripple of excitement that has been created by all who have contributed and have brought us to this point. The drop that starts the ripple is what we sincerely hope choice becomes for you, the coach, the client, the human resources practitioner and anyone else who embraces coaching as a means of initiating a new way of traveling, growing and being in the world.

o, what is coaching? Coaching is … well, different things to different people. It can, among other things, empower us to take risks, jump-start our careers, clarify and attain our goals, or improve our relationships — personally and professionally. As one of our feature authors puts it, “Coaching helps us catch what we need, deflect the unnecessary, and totally disregard the irrelevant.” And this is true not only at the personal level, but in the corporate world, as well. “Coaching creates a context for decision-making in an organization where efficiency is the goal.”

S

And is it only the client who benefits? Since coaching is about mutuality, apparently not. Coaching is also about “respect, unconditional support and bringing nothing but your very best to the table.”

So what’s coaching and why is it becoming part of the mainstream? In its simplest form, coaching has emerged over the last 15 years or so because it assists people in getting where they want to go more efficiently and effectively and, in the process, they learn a new way to “travel.” It’s important to note that nobody needs a coach; not the way one needs food, clothing, shelter or healing from injury or pain. Coaching is an additive that:

• • • • •

Clarifies direction and destination Unleashes potential and resources Accelerates progress Removes obstacles Builds bridges

Coaching could help you decide where you specifically wanted to get to when you leave home. While “anywhere” may qualify, you’d no doubt have to make quite a few trials before you find the destination that fits. oaching is the process of imagining, clarifying and choosing. Coaching helps you draw the map and select the mode of transportation. And the “you” could be an individual, a team or an organization.

C

Are you ready for this voyage? Read on and find out… — Maureen A. Ford and Marguerite Martindale 24

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Let’s take organizations as an example. These days, people in an organization can connect via cell phone and share information just about anywhere in the world, any time of the day or night. Imagine for a moment that we were suddenly transported back to the days of the pony express. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

25

The same applies for individuals and teams. Coaching helps people determine their destination and gives them an incentive to stay on course to get there. In today’s business world, organizations need every advantage they can find to be more adept, more agile, more focused in order to achieve the results they need to survive and thrive. For individuals, the desire may be to live life more fully by their own unique definition. It might be a more satisfying career, material well-being, stronger relationships — the goals may vary, but the underlying process is essentially the same. Coaching helps leverage time, talent and resources to make the most of this day, this opportunity, this life. The process of coaching involves an ongoing relationship where coach and client/coachee are companions and partners assisting the client in the client’s journey. Clients determine the goals; coaches bring the tools of their trade. The tools come in a variety of shapes and sizes, different names and applications, but in one way or another the appropriate application can help people find and stay the course.

Coaching helps make the most of this life.

“

What makes coaching unique is the nature of the conversation between coach and client. In most other professional relationships there is power or authority given to the provider. Coaching facilitates a peer relationship where both client and coach can give 100 percent to the work for the sake of the client, while being equal in power and authority and working together to get the client to the desired destination. At its best, this approach changes the nature of the conversation: coach and client create a new form of open, engaged, truth telling. The result is empowering and authentic.

”

Coaching works. A decade or more of evidence supports that. It works because individuals, teams and organizations are able clarify choices, become aware when they are off track, and move forward effectively. It works because coaching creates empowered relationships and the ability to improve connections and achieve potential. Coaching is an energetic profession that seems to release energy in others as a byproduct of the work. These days, coaches are helping clients draw extraordinary maps and build the bridges necessary to make their vision come alive. Nice work if you can get it.

•

Phil Sandahl, CPCC, is an international coach and coaching trainer with The Coaches Training Institute. He is also co-author of Co-Active Coaching (Davies-Black Publishing).

26

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

• That the coaching profession

What to Look For In a Coach oaching is a relatively young profession compared to say, the legal one. Even so, there is a strong international association that upholds the ethics and standards in the coaching arena — the International Coach Federation (ICF). As such, it has established core competencies for coaches, and a certification process to ensure that the required criteria are met. ICF certified coaches have fulfilled rigorous standards for education and experience, and have agreed to maintain the ethics of the profession.

is growing by leaps and bounds is obvious. Laura Berman Fortgang deconstructs the whys and the wherefores.

C

Because anyone can be called a coach and have all the relevant trappings such as business cards and stationery in a day, it’s always best to interview a potential coach before beginning a professional relationship. Ask where training was received and whether the school is accredited with the ICF. Ask, also, if the prospective coach would be willing to give a sample coaching session. In most cases, coaches who work one on one with clients will agree to offer a sample coaching session as a way of determining whether or not client and coach will make a good match. Beyond the resume that details education and experience, look for a person who is able to listen deeply, and ask the kinds of questions that open new vistas for you. Coaching is an ongoing relationship designed to help you find answers and move forward. This is different from a mentor or consultant who has answers for hire. It is also different from counseling or therapy, which is designed to heal, often by conversations about the past. Coaching is fundamentally about vision, goals, moving forward, learning from the action taken and being true to oneself. Coaching has the quality of peer relationship, similar to two companions walking side by side. A coaching relationship might last a few months, two years or more, as long as the client continues to get value from the relationship.

Coaching:

Photo by Peter Johnson

Decision-making could only move as fast as the average palomino over rough terrain. All right, the analogy is extreme, but the notion is that coaching creates a context for decision-making in an organization where efficiency is the goal. It promotes clarity while reducing backtracking, second-guessing or wandering aimlessly in dead-end canyons. Coaching individuals within an organization has a similar impact — people can become focused, energized and effective.

A Two-Way Street to Growth few years ago, there were a handful of professionals calling themselves coaches; now, they number in the thousands. It must be an easy way to make a living, you might think. It isn’t really, because it is still prone to eliciting skepticism. So why are people so interested in joining the ranks? Perhaps it’s because coaching may be the only helping profession wherein the mutually beneficial outcome of personal growth is obvious and recognized.

A

challenge, there is a tremendous sense of satisfaction in being able to make a difference in areas they never imagined they’d be exposed to much less collaborate on.

It may sound odd to imagine a business relationship where there is a personal growth opportunity for all involved. Does this mean coaches rely on their clients for help with their lives too? Absolutely not! Coaching is very much designed for coaches to support their clients’ success but, unlike therapy or counseling, coaches are free to bring their personal experiences to the relationship. In fact, it is the degree of coaches’ self-development that determines their levels of success.

Coaching offers a tremendous opportunity to push the envelope.

The most successful coaches are those who truly practice what they preach. They walk their talk. Though human, they constantly strive to be responsible for the circumstances of their lives, and do their best to be authentic and maintain high levels of integrity. It takes a keen self-awareness to do this. The pay-off is a great sense of vitality, clarity and sense of purpose that becomes one of the main reasons why clients are interested in working with such coaches. At first it may not be apparent to clients, but they often find themselves excited to work with those who are an example of what’s possible. Anyone interested in personal growth can see how making a living “growing” can be an exciting prospect.

Coaching is about mutuality.

“

”

One of the best things about being a coach is that after training, you can start coaching regardless of your level of experience. There will always be a client ready for what you have to offer. True to the law of attraction, coaches seem to draw people to them who are at similar levels in their development. Successful coaches realize and seize the opportunity to grow along with the people they support. For those who want to push the envelope, coaching offers a tremendous opportunity to experience a scope of different industries and disciplines. Some coaches are shy about stretching outside of their comfort zone. They may feel too inexperienced to work with senior people in an intimidating profession such as investment banking, for example. However, having risen to the

“

”

Since coaching works through process and is not driven by an expertise peculiar to any one industry, it can be cross-referenced into many areas without misrepresentation. Also, having this level of exposure to different people and situations is in itself a tremendous opportunity for growth. So, why is coaching one of the fastest growing professions at this time? It’s a two-way street to growth in a relationship that relies on mutual respect, unconditional support and bringing nothing but your very best to the table. As this profession continues to grow and touch millions of lives, it’s potential for being the model on which open and honest communication is fashioned is astronomical.

•

Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC, is the author of Living Your Best Life (Tarcher/Penguin).

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

27

The same applies for individuals and teams. Coaching helps people determine their destination and gives them an incentive to stay on course to get there. In today’s business world, organizations need every advantage they can find to be more adept, more agile, more focused in order to achieve the results they need to survive and thrive. For individuals, the desire may be to live life more fully by their own unique definition. It might be a more satisfying career, material well-being, stronger relationships — the goals may vary, but the underlying process is essentially the same. Coaching helps leverage time, talent and resources to make the most of this day, this opportunity, this life. The process of coaching involves an ongoing relationship where coach and client/coachee are companions and partners assisting the client in the client’s journey. Clients determine the goals; coaches bring the tools of their trade. The tools come in a variety of shapes and sizes, different names and applications, but in one way or another the appropriate application can help people find and stay the course.

Coaching helps make the most of this life.

“

What makes coaching unique is the nature of the conversation between coach and client. In most other professional relationships there is power or authority given to the provider. Coaching facilitates a peer relationship where both client and coach can give 100 percent to the work for the sake of the client, while being equal in power and authority and working together to get the client to the desired destination. At its best, this approach changes the nature of the conversation: coach and client create a new form of open, engaged, truth telling. The result is empowering and authentic.

”

Coaching works. A decade or more of evidence supports that. It works because individuals, teams and organizations are able clarify choices, become aware when they are off track, and move forward effectively. It works because coaching creates empowered relationships and the ability to improve connections and achieve potential. Coaching is an energetic profession that seems to release energy in others as a byproduct of the work. These days, coaches are helping clients draw extraordinary maps and build the bridges necessary to make their vision come alive. Nice work if you can get it.

•

Phil Sandahl, CPCC, is an international coach and coaching trainer with The Coaches Training Institute. He is also co-author of Co-Active Coaching (Davies-Black Publishing).

26

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

• That the coaching profession

What to Look For In a Coach oaching is a relatively young profession compared to say, the legal one. Even so, there is a strong international association that upholds the ethics and standards in the coaching arena — the International Coach Federation (ICF). As such, it has established core competencies for coaches, and a certification process to ensure that the required criteria are met. ICF certified coaches have fulfilled rigorous standards for education and experience, and have agreed to maintain the ethics of the profession.

is growing by leaps and bounds is obvious. Laura Berman Fortgang deconstructs the whys and the wherefores.

C

Because anyone can be called a coach and have all the relevant trappings such as business cards and stationery in a day, it’s always best to interview a potential coach before beginning a professional relationship. Ask where training was received and whether the school is accredited with the ICF. Ask, also, if the prospective coach would be willing to give a sample coaching session. In most cases, coaches who work one on one with clients will agree to offer a sample coaching session as a way of determining whether or not client and coach will make a good match. Beyond the resume that details education and experience, look for a person who is able to listen deeply, and ask the kinds of questions that open new vistas for you. Coaching is an ongoing relationship designed to help you find answers and move forward. This is different from a mentor or consultant who has answers for hire. It is also different from counseling or therapy, which is designed to heal, often by conversations about the past. Coaching is fundamentally about vision, goals, moving forward, learning from the action taken and being true to oneself. Coaching has the quality of peer relationship, similar to two companions walking side by side. A coaching relationship might last a few months, two years or more, as long as the client continues to get value from the relationship.

Coaching:

Photo by Peter Johnson

Decision-making could only move as fast as the average palomino over rough terrain. All right, the analogy is extreme, but the notion is that coaching creates a context for decision-making in an organization where efficiency is the goal. It promotes clarity while reducing backtracking, second-guessing or wandering aimlessly in dead-end canyons. Coaching individuals within an organization has a similar impact — people can become focused, energized and effective.

A Two-Way Street to Growth few years ago, there were a handful of professionals calling themselves coaches; now, they number in the thousands. It must be an easy way to make a living, you might think. It isn’t really, because it is still prone to eliciting skepticism. So why are people so interested in joining the ranks? Perhaps it’s because coaching may be the only helping profession wherein the mutually beneficial outcome of personal growth is obvious and recognized.

A

challenge, there is a tremendous sense of satisfaction in being able to make a difference in areas they never imagined they’d be exposed to much less collaborate on.

It may sound odd to imagine a business relationship where there is a personal growth opportunity for all involved. Does this mean coaches rely on their clients for help with their lives too? Absolutely not! Coaching is very much designed for coaches to support their clients’ success but, unlike therapy or counseling, coaches are free to bring their personal experiences to the relationship. In fact, it is the degree of coaches’ self-development that determines their levels of success.

Coaching offers a tremendous opportunity to push the envelope.

The most successful coaches are those who truly practice what they preach. They walk their talk. Though human, they constantly strive to be responsible for the circumstances of their lives, and do their best to be authentic and maintain high levels of integrity. It takes a keen self-awareness to do this. The pay-off is a great sense of vitality, clarity and sense of purpose that becomes one of the main reasons why clients are interested in working with such coaches. At first it may not be apparent to clients, but they often find themselves excited to work with those who are an example of what’s possible. Anyone interested in personal growth can see how making a living “growing” can be an exciting prospect.

Coaching is about mutuality.

“

”

One of the best things about being a coach is that after training, you can start coaching regardless of your level of experience. There will always be a client ready for what you have to offer. True to the law of attraction, coaches seem to draw people to them who are at similar levels in their development. Successful coaches realize and seize the opportunity to grow along with the people they support. For those who want to push the envelope, coaching offers a tremendous opportunity to experience a scope of different industries and disciplines. Some coaches are shy about stretching outside of their comfort zone. They may feel too inexperienced to work with senior people in an intimidating profession such as investment banking, for example. However, having risen to the

“

”

Since coaching works through process and is not driven by an expertise peculiar to any one industry, it can be cross-referenced into many areas without misrepresentation. Also, having this level of exposure to different people and situations is in itself a tremendous opportunity for growth. So, why is coaching one of the fastest growing professions at this time? It’s a two-way street to growth in a relationship that relies on mutual respect, unconditional support and bringing nothing but your very best to the table. As this profession continues to grow and touch millions of lives, it’s potential for being the model on which open and honest communication is fashioned is astronomical.

•

Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC, is the author of Living Your Best Life (Tarcher/Penguin).

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

27

• Will Craig believes our attempt at partial restoration of the comparatively safe environment we once enjoyed as an interdependent family unit may be an answer to the question … self-contained reality of the nuclear family unit, and, increasingly, the stressful single-parenting household where resources — both financial and emotional — are stretched to breaking point.

Why oaching is the equivalent of attending a motivational seminar where the speaker talks only about you and how to make the most of your gifts and talents. Coaching creates an environment where you stay positive and charged up — not for a day or two — but week after week. Life coaching might be most easily described as customized selfhelp books and tapes brought to life.

C

Ask 10 different coaches why this burgeoning profession is coming into prominence and you’re likely to get 10 different answers. If we take a long view of where society has taken us individually and collectively over the past century, the need for and benefits of personal coaching start to become apparent. In America, at the turn of the nineteenth century, we were dependent upon one another for our very existence. In spite of our pioneering spirit — or maybe because of the enormous risks we were taking in blazing trails across this new country — we needed each other for our most basic needs. As we skip through the subsequent decades and observe the morphic changes of society, we notice a gradual disconnection of the tight bonds previously necessary to survive. The traditional family unit shrinks from the often-supportive environment of multigenerational sharing to the so-called 28

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Coaches unleash the power of partnership.

“ Photo by Dane Wirtzfeld

Life Coaching?

Even if multigenerational family dwellings are not the answer to the ills of today's society, you’d have to agree that the pendulum certainly has swung just a little too far in the opposite direction. We interact with bank tellers and convenience store clerks without so much as looking them in the eye. We see neighbors who have lived near us for months or even years and we don’t even know their names. This conscious disconnect is often justified by the pace of our lives and, ironically, the needs of our family. This fast food with fries on the side equivalent of modern day family and community living is not nourishing to our bodies and minds, much less our soul.

We have read the self-help books and listened to the self-help tapes. Unfortunately, they have been of marginal assistance or, at best, less than we had hoped for. We can pat ourselves on the back at our efforts to improve ourselves and admire those titles stacked in our bookcase. If we are honest, however, we must admit they are now more “shelf help” than self-help. In the dark recesses of our mind we recognize that we cannot do this alone.

”

For years, serious athletes, actors and politicians have all used personal coaches to help maximize their skills and abilities. These professionals are often at the top of their game, yet wouldn’t think of “going it alone.” Many of us are now recognizing the value of this unique relationship and are adapting it to a personal level. ife coaches are more than friends with whom to share problems. They are sounding boards for solutions to the challenges we face on a daily basis. They are mentors in some cases, cheerleaders in others. Part consultant, part family. Coaches unleash the power of partnership.

L

With a coach, we do more than we would do on our own, go further and faster toward our goals, and take ourselves more seriously. We have an accountability partner who shares our best interest and keeps us moving forward. Life coaching is about taking action and making things happen. Left to our own devices, we can often justify our average existence with the thought that we are coping well, considering all that the world is throwing at us. A life coach helps us catch what we need, deflect the unnecessary, and totally disregard the irrelevant. While we don’t have to do it alone, we are challenged to take responsibility for ourselves and to take action on our own behalf. Former Dallas Cowboys’ coach, Tom Landry, sums it up this way, “A coach is someone who gets you to do what you don’t want to do, so you can be who you want to be.” The time for life coaching is now. The reasons are the ones bouncing around in your head at this very moment. The question now becomes, are you ready for the rewards that come with taking the game of life to the next level?

•

Will Craig is president of the Coach Training Alliance. He is the author of the “Fill Your Coaching Practice” and co-author of the popular “Coach Training Accelerator,” software packages.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

29

• Will Craig believes our attempt at partial restoration of the comparatively safe environment we once enjoyed as an interdependent family unit may be an answer to the question … self-contained reality of the nuclear family unit, and, increasingly, the stressful single-parenting household where resources — both financial and emotional — are stretched to breaking point.

Why oaching is the equivalent of attending a motivational seminar where the speaker talks only about you and how to make the most of your gifts and talents. Coaching creates an environment where you stay positive and charged up — not for a day or two — but week after week. Life coaching might be most easily described as customized selfhelp books and tapes brought to life.

C

Ask 10 different coaches why this burgeoning profession is coming into prominence and you’re likely to get 10 different answers. If we take a long view of where society has taken us individually and collectively over the past century, the need for and benefits of personal coaching start to become apparent. In America, at the turn of the nineteenth century, we were dependent upon one another for our very existence. In spite of our pioneering spirit — or maybe because of the enormous risks we were taking in blazing trails across this new country — we needed each other for our most basic needs. As we skip through the subsequent decades and observe the morphic changes of society, we notice a gradual disconnection of the tight bonds previously necessary to survive. The traditional family unit shrinks from the often-supportive environment of multigenerational sharing to the so-called 28

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Coaches unleash the power of partnership.

“ Photo by Dane Wirtzfeld

Life Coaching?

Even if multigenerational family dwellings are not the answer to the ills of today's society, you’d have to agree that the pendulum certainly has swung just a little too far in the opposite direction. We interact with bank tellers and convenience store clerks without so much as looking them in the eye. We see neighbors who have lived near us for months or even years and we don’t even know their names. This conscious disconnect is often justified by the pace of our lives and, ironically, the needs of our family. This fast food with fries on the side equivalent of modern day family and community living is not nourishing to our bodies and minds, much less our soul.

We have read the self-help books and listened to the self-help tapes. Unfortunately, they have been of marginal assistance or, at best, less than we had hoped for. We can pat ourselves on the back at our efforts to improve ourselves and admire those titles stacked in our bookcase. If we are honest, however, we must admit they are now more “shelf help” than self-help. In the dark recesses of our mind we recognize that we cannot do this alone.

”

For years, serious athletes, actors and politicians have all used personal coaches to help maximize their skills and abilities. These professionals are often at the top of their game, yet wouldn’t think of “going it alone.” Many of us are now recognizing the value of this unique relationship and are adapting it to a personal level. ife coaches are more than friends with whom to share problems. They are sounding boards for solutions to the challenges we face on a daily basis. They are mentors in some cases, cheerleaders in others. Part consultant, part family. Coaches unleash the power of partnership.

L

With a coach, we do more than we would do on our own, go further and faster toward our goals, and take ourselves more seriously. We have an accountability partner who shares our best interest and keeps us moving forward. Life coaching is about taking action and making things happen. Left to our own devices, we can often justify our average existence with the thought that we are coping well, considering all that the world is throwing at us. A life coach helps us catch what we need, deflect the unnecessary, and totally disregard the irrelevant. While we don’t have to do it alone, we are challenged to take responsibility for ourselves and to take action on our own behalf. Former Dallas Cowboys’ coach, Tom Landry, sums it up this way, “A coach is someone who gets you to do what you don’t want to do, so you can be who you want to be.” The time for life coaching is now. The reasons are the ones bouncing around in your head at this very moment. The question now becomes, are you ready for the rewards that come with taking the game of life to the next level?

•

Will Craig is president of the Coach Training Alliance. He is the author of the “Fill Your Coaching Practice” and co-author of the popular “Coach Training Accelerator,” software packages.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

29

welcome letters

The timing is perfect for this exciting new initiative! With ICF members in more than 33 countries, we face the challenge of creating flexible models that support and nurture members and chapters around the world. More and more, coaches and their clients are seeking to communicate, collaborate, share best practices, and explore new and innovative methodologies, ideas and directions in the enhancement of excellence in coaching. The initiative at choice fills this need. ICF is proud to be allied with this high-quality publication that also supports our goals: Our mission is to be the global forum for the art and science of coaching, where we inspire transformational conversations, advocate excellence, and expand awareness of the contribution that coaching is to the future of humankind. The magazine of professional coaching, choice stands with us in these important conversations, and in expanding awareness in support of the gold standard of ethics for coaches. The appearance on the coaching scene of choice magazine has a very direct and positive effect on the ICF's most important initiatives, and helps us move forward with ever-increasing credibility, respect and support for our high standards.

On behalf on the International Coach Federation, Greater Toronto Area (GTA) Chapter, we would like to congratulate you on your premier edition of choice, the magazine of professional coaching. To have a resource such as this magazine not only symbolizes the status of our profession, but also gives us a visual place to play and present a diversity of opinions, opportunities, challenges and insights. Thank you for creating this space for coaching to have a powerful voice. We wish you all the success in becoming everyone’s new choice.

putting clients’ interests first.” Dolly M. Garlo and David Matthew Prior encourage coaches to develop a culture of business practice founded on an ethical framework.

Committing to an Ethical Framework:

Photo by Erick Jones

I'd like to offer my personal congratulations, including those of the International Coach Federation’s (ICF) Board of Directors, management and staff, to the brilliant team that put together the first-ever magazine devoted to the coaching profession — choice!

Welcome choice!

• “Tensions can arise between making money and

A Powerful Choice oaches are specialists in assisting clients to operate from authentic choice. We coach them to sort through conflicting choices, prioritize among a number of choices, expand upon the choices available to them, or to create new life and career designs based on conscious choices.

C

Photo by Sarah Skiba

Dear choice readers:

icf corner

Some of the areas we will be addressing in coming months include:

•

•

•

The perception and awareness of coaching. This speaks to regaining employees’ loyalty and trust in the workplace, and the public’s in the corporate boardrooms. Coaching is gaining ground in holding the leaders in both arenas to higher standards of competency and ethics. Credentials and ethical standards. ICF credentials and the ICF Standards of Ethical Conduct are becoming the gold standard for public trust, and a model for our goal of becoming a self-regulating profession. Research and statistics. There are many important questions about professional specialties, niches, client types, situations, numbers of coaches, income, education and the like. Since professional coaching is an ever-changing universe, research must be ongoing.

The ICF is pleased to welcome choice to our Annual Conference, “Model of Excellence” to be held in Denver, Colorado from November 13 – 15, 2003.

Cassandra L. Gierden President, International Coach Federation, GTA Chapter

One especially important choice coaches may make is to pursue their work ethically and with a commitment to continued professional growth. This sets the true coaching professional apart from others who are quick to adopt the business title “coach” without completing a course of coach training, seeking professional credentials, committing themselves to a code of ethics and agreeing to be held accountable for their professional conduct. By their demonstration and effort, coaches who do commit to these professional business practices inspire both their colleagues and their clients to continued growth, and contribute to a better society.

Coaches likewise make important choices: • To be coached themselves, both experiencing and demonstrating

We, at ICF, are pleased to choose choice as our magazine alliance!

principles into a workplace • To serve a particular niche • To work with individuals or groups • To provide complimentary coaching in the community or to people who could not otherwise afford coaching services

Best regards,

Judith F. Feld, MCC ICF President

30

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Other situations such as conflicts of interest, improper giving or receiving of gifts or other compensation, maintaining confidentiality especially in a third-party payment arrangement (e.g., an employer paying for the coaching of an employee) can result from the tension between business (making money) and professionalism (putting the client’s interests first). Resolving such situations is determined by the coach’s chosen business culture.

the power and value of coaching as a practice

• To coach clients in a private business practice or bring coaching I thank you all for your contributions to our ongoing efforts, and your valuable resources in support of the coaching profession.

incentive for the coach to continue working with that client rather than end the coaching relationship or make a referral. In such cases, continuing to work with the client may not be harmful, but may still not be in the best interest of the client.

Whether coaches work in a solo practice, in professional groups or inside an organization, there may be business tensions between making money and satisfactorily serving a client. For example, when a client has achieved the desired goals, or may be better served by another coach (or another type of professional service), there remains a financial

Whether working in a group, as a solo practitioner or in an internal corporate coaching position, that culture can be what Michael G. Daigneault, attorney and past-president of the Washington, D.C. based Ethics Resource Center, calls a “breeding ground for unethical behavior” without a clear vision, high standards and strong support for ethical behavior.1 While ethical behavior is not always the easiest path, taking it supports the freedom to choose. In a speech to a Boston University graduating class, university president Dr. John Silber described the personal choice required to walk that path. He recounted eminent English judge, Lord John Fletcher Moulton’s 1924 definition of ethics as the “domain of obedience to the unenforceable” — a continuum defined by a sense of FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

31

welcome letters

The timing is perfect for this exciting new initiative! With ICF members in more than 33 countries, we face the challenge of creating flexible models that support and nurture members and chapters around the world. More and more, coaches and their clients are seeking to communicate, collaborate, share best practices, and explore new and innovative methodologies, ideas and directions in the enhancement of excellence in coaching. The initiative at choice fills this need. ICF is proud to be allied with this high-quality publication that also supports our goals: Our mission is to be the global forum for the art and science of coaching, where we inspire transformational conversations, advocate excellence, and expand awareness of the contribution that coaching is to the future of humankind. The magazine of professional coaching, choice stands with us in these important conversations, and in expanding awareness in support of the gold standard of ethics for coaches. The appearance on the coaching scene of choice magazine has a very direct and positive effect on the ICF's most important initiatives, and helps us move forward with ever-increasing credibility, respect and support for our high standards.

On behalf on the International Coach Federation, Greater Toronto Area (GTA) Chapter, we would like to congratulate you on your premier edition of choice, the magazine of professional coaching. To have a resource such as this magazine not only symbolizes the status of our profession, but also gives us a visual place to play and present a diversity of opinions, opportunities, challenges and insights. Thank you for creating this space for coaching to have a powerful voice. We wish you all the success in becoming everyone’s new choice.

putting clients’ interests first.” Dolly M. Garlo and David Matthew Prior encourage coaches to develop a culture of business practice founded on an ethical framework.

Committing to an Ethical Framework:

Photo by Erick Jones

I'd like to offer my personal congratulations, including those of the International Coach Federation’s (ICF) Board of Directors, management and staff, to the brilliant team that put together the first-ever magazine devoted to the coaching profession — choice!

Welcome choice!

• “Tensions can arise between making money and

A Powerful Choice oaches are specialists in assisting clients to operate from authentic choice. We coach them to sort through conflicting choices, prioritize among a number of choices, expand upon the choices available to them, or to create new life and career designs based on conscious choices.

C

Photo by Sarah Skiba

Dear choice readers:

icf corner

Some of the areas we will be addressing in coming months include:

•

•

•

The perception and awareness of coaching. This speaks to regaining employees’ loyalty and trust in the workplace, and the public’s in the corporate boardrooms. Coaching is gaining ground in holding the leaders in both arenas to higher standards of competency and ethics. Credentials and ethical standards. ICF credentials and the ICF Standards of Ethical Conduct are becoming the gold standard for public trust, and a model for our goal of becoming a self-regulating profession. Research and statistics. There are many important questions about professional specialties, niches, client types, situations, numbers of coaches, income, education and the like. Since professional coaching is an ever-changing universe, research must be ongoing.

The ICF is pleased to welcome choice to our Annual Conference, “Model of Excellence” to be held in Denver, Colorado from November 13 – 15, 2003.

Cassandra L. Gierden President, International Coach Federation, GTA Chapter

One especially important choice coaches may make is to pursue their work ethically and with a commitment to continued professional growth. This sets the true coaching professional apart from others who are quick to adopt the business title “coach” without completing a course of coach training, seeking professional credentials, committing themselves to a code of ethics and agreeing to be held accountable for their professional conduct. By their demonstration and effort, coaches who do commit to these professional business practices inspire both their colleagues and their clients to continued growth, and contribute to a better society.

Coaches likewise make important choices: • To be coached themselves, both experiencing and demonstrating

We, at ICF, are pleased to choose choice as our magazine alliance!

principles into a workplace • To serve a particular niche • To work with individuals or groups • To provide complimentary coaching in the community or to people who could not otherwise afford coaching services

Best regards,

Judith F. Feld, MCC ICF President

30

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Other situations such as conflicts of interest, improper giving or receiving of gifts or other compensation, maintaining confidentiality especially in a third-party payment arrangement (e.g., an employer paying for the coaching of an employee) can result from the tension between business (making money) and professionalism (putting the client’s interests first). Resolving such situations is determined by the coach’s chosen business culture.

the power and value of coaching as a practice

• To coach clients in a private business practice or bring coaching I thank you all for your contributions to our ongoing efforts, and your valuable resources in support of the coaching profession.

incentive for the coach to continue working with that client rather than end the coaching relationship or make a referral. In such cases, continuing to work with the client may not be harmful, but may still not be in the best interest of the client.

Whether coaches work in a solo practice, in professional groups or inside an organization, there may be business tensions between making money and satisfactorily serving a client. For example, when a client has achieved the desired goals, or may be better served by another coach (or another type of professional service), there remains a financial

Whether working in a group, as a solo practitioner or in an internal corporate coaching position, that culture can be what Michael G. Daigneault, attorney and past-president of the Washington, D.C. based Ethics Resource Center, calls a “breeding ground for unethical behavior” without a clear vision, high standards and strong support for ethical behavior.1 While ethical behavior is not always the easiest path, taking it supports the freedom to choose. In a speech to a Boston University graduating class, university president Dr. John Silber described the personal choice required to walk that path. He recounted eminent English judge, Lord John Fletcher Moulton’s 1924 definition of ethics as the “domain of obedience to the unenforceable” — a continuum defined by a sense of FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

31

icf corner

Coaching is ultimately about choices.

“

”

thics is a choice to conduct oneself in keeping with a set of core values, to be self-regulated. Rushworth M. Kidder, founder and president of the Institute for Global Ethics, puts it this way: “As the ethics of self-regulation [diminishes] . . . the law [rushes] in to fill the void.” 3 Strong ethics are the most important foundation for an industry to maintain self-regulation; otherwise government will step in and regulate, if needed, to protect the welfare of the public.

E

With such a sense of duty, focus on public good and a commitment to excellence, the pioneers of coaching chose to build the profession on an ethical foundation. That foundation was formed initially by the efforts of two professional coaching organizations — the former Professional and Personal Coaches Association and the International Coach Federation (ICF), which merged under the ICF name in 1998. Their ethics committees designed the first ethical standards in this newly emerging service industry. The ICF now maintains its Code of Ethics for members, one of the strongest sets of ethical standards in the coaching profession.4 The ICF also initiated the credentialing of coaches (who need not be ICF members) based upon demonstration of competency in its 11 distinctly defined core-coaching areas.5 The foundational competency to be demonstrated is an understanding of coaching ethics and standards, and applying them appropriately in coaching situations. Going even further, ICF administers the profession’s first and only selfregulatory, peer review-based Ethical Conduct Review (ECR) process, a forum to which individuals can bring complaints about alleged unethical conduct by ICF members or ICF credentialed coaches. The process provides for review, investigation and response to alleged unethical practices or behavior that deviate from the ICF Code of Ethics. The Code and ECR process were developed to promote professional and ethical coaching practices, and to raise the awareness of people outside the profession about the integrity, commitment and ethical conduct of ICF members and credentialed coaches. By developing its organizational culture on this foundation, the ICF models a vision, standards and support for ethical behavior that coaches can integrate into their business practices.

To that end, ICF members and ICF credentialed coaches agree on a philosophy and definition of coaching and to follow a set of ethical coaching standards that focus on: • • • •

Clients, Related third parties, Colleague relationships, and Issues affecting the public at large.

Further, coaches who pursue an ICF credential must: • Acquire a high level of coaching proficiency and experience, • Maintain continuing education hours, and • Demonstrate a working knowledge of coaching ethics. Both ICF member and credentialed coaches then make the most important choice in professional coaching by taking the following pledge: As a professional coach, I acknowledge and agree to honor my ethical obligations to my coaching clients and colleagues and to the public at large. I pledge to comply with ICF Code of Ethics, to treat people with dignity as independent and equal human beings, and to model these standards with those whom I coach. If I breach this Pledge of Ethics or any part of the ICF Code of Ethics, I agree that the ICF in its sole discretion may hold me accountable for so doing. I further agree that my accountability to the ICF for any breach may include loss of my ICF membership or my ICF credentials.

Coaches are encouraged to develop a culture of business practice founded on an ethical framework. It is important not only for their clients and the public; it is the critical foundation for coaches themselves and the integrity of the profession. Choosing to coach ethically also safeguards independent professional oversight by protecting those whom coaches serve. And isn’t coaching ultimately about fueling the freedom to make the most of one’s choices?

•

Dolly Garlo, RN, JD, PCC, is the President of Thrive!! Inc. David Matthew Prior, MCC, MBA, is the President of Getacoach.com LLC. Both Dolly and David currently serve as the co-chairs of the International Coach Federation’s Ethics and Standards Committee.

At choice, we are also dedicated to helping you get the word out about

your business. To advertise with us, send your ads and/or enquiries to [email protected],

1. See his full article, “Ethics & Professionalism: Why Good People Do Bad Things,” at http://www.ethics.org/resources/article_detail.cfm?ID=30. 2. Silber’s speech, first reprinted in The New Criterion can be accessed at http://www.newcriterion.com/archive/13/jun95/silber.htm. 3. Read Kidder’s article "There's Only Ethics . . ." at http://www.globalethics.org/corp/keynotes.html.

A Life of Meaning and Contribution

You are invited to the Art & Science of Coaching 15 day Certification Program. If you are committed to increasing your business success, dramatically advancing your career and deeply enhancing your own and others' quality of life, these accelerated success tools are a key resource. You are invited to the Art & Science of Coaching 15-Day Certification Program. Erickson College is one of the world's fastest growing coaching schools, with over 375 people enrolled in 2003, 3 Master Certified Coaches to mentor our students and 5 new locations. We create great coaches and give them the powerful tools to contribute even more effectively and meaningfully.

along with your name and e-mail address.

End Notes

5. See http://www.coachfederation.org/credentialing/en/index.htm.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Advertise your business with us!

This choice, pledging to be held accountable for ethical conduct, builds public confidence in this young and growing profession.

4. See http://www.coachfederation.org/ethics/index.htm.

32

Coaching

Erickson College

duty and focus on the public good, which Moulton noted involves “doing right where there is no one to make you do it but yourself.”2 The law, according to the judge, holds one to a lower standard — mere obedience to the enforceable: break the law and you will be compelled to pay a price by external forces.

A

For choice advertising guidelines, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

H U M A N D E V E L O P M E N T C O M PA N Y

Toll Free: 1 800 665 6949 Fax: 604 879 7234 • email: [email protected] 2021 Columbia St., Vancouver, BC, Canada V5Y 3C9

www.ericksoncollege.com Vancouver • Portland • Calgary • London • Oslo • Moscow • Kiev

icf corner

Coaching is ultimately about choices.

“

”

thics is a choice to conduct oneself in keeping with a set of core values, to be self-regulated. Rushworth M. Kidder, founder and president of the Institute for Global Ethics, puts it this way: “As the ethics of self-regulation [diminishes] . . . the law [rushes] in to fill the void.” 3 Strong ethics are the most important foundation for an industry to maintain self-regulation; otherwise government will step in and regulate, if needed, to protect the welfare of the public.

E

With such a sense of duty, focus on public good and a commitment to excellence, the pioneers of coaching chose to build the profession on an ethical foundation. That foundation was formed initially by the efforts of two professional coaching organizations — the former Professional and Personal Coaches Association and the International Coach Federation (ICF), which merged under the ICF name in 1998. Their ethics committees designed the first ethical standards in this newly emerging service industry. The ICF now maintains its Code of Ethics for members, one of the strongest sets of ethical standards in the coaching profession.4 The ICF also initiated the credentialing of coaches (who need not be ICF members) based upon demonstration of competency in its 11 distinctly defined core-coaching areas.5 The foundational competency to be demonstrated is an understanding of coaching ethics and standards, and applying them appropriately in coaching situations. Going even further, ICF administers the profession’s first and only selfregulatory, peer review-based Ethical Conduct Review (ECR) process, a forum to which individuals can bring complaints about alleged unethical conduct by ICF members or ICF credentialed coaches. The process provides for review, investigation and response to alleged unethical practices or behavior that deviate from the ICF Code of Ethics. The Code and ECR process were developed to promote professional and ethical coaching practices, and to raise the awareness of people outside the profession about the integrity, commitment and ethical conduct of ICF members and credentialed coaches. By developing its organizational culture on this foundation, the ICF models a vision, standards and support for ethical behavior that coaches can integrate into their business practices.

To that end, ICF members and ICF credentialed coaches agree on a philosophy and definition of coaching and to follow a set of ethical coaching standards that focus on: • • • •

Clients, Related third parties, Colleague relationships, and Issues affecting the public at large.

Further, coaches who pursue an ICF credential must: • Acquire a high level of coaching proficiency and experience, • Maintain continuing education hours, and • Demonstrate a working knowledge of coaching ethics. Both ICF member and credentialed coaches then make the most important choice in professional coaching by taking the following pledge: As a professional coach, I acknowledge and agree to honor my ethical obligations to my coaching clients and colleagues and to the public at large. I pledge to comply with ICF Code of Ethics, to treat people with dignity as independent and equal human beings, and to model these standards with those whom I coach. If I breach this Pledge of Ethics or any part of the ICF Code of Ethics, I agree that the ICF in its sole discretion may hold me accountable for so doing. I further agree that my accountability to the ICF for any breach may include loss of my ICF membership or my ICF credentials.

Coaches are encouraged to develop a culture of business practice founded on an ethical framework. It is important not only for their clients and the public; it is the critical foundation for coaches themselves and the integrity of the profession. Choosing to coach ethically also safeguards independent professional oversight by protecting those whom coaches serve. And isn’t coaching ultimately about fueling the freedom to make the most of one’s choices?

•

Dolly Garlo, RN, JD, PCC, is the President of Thrive!! Inc. David Matthew Prior, MCC, MBA, is the President of Getacoach.com LLC. Both Dolly and David currently serve as the co-chairs of the International Coach Federation’s Ethics and Standards Committee.

At choice, we are also dedicated to helping you get the word out about

your business. To advertise with us, send your ads and/or enquiries to [email protected],

1. See his full article, “Ethics & Professionalism: Why Good People Do Bad Things,” at http://www.ethics.org/resources/article_detail.cfm?ID=30. 2. Silber’s speech, first reprinted in The New Criterion can be accessed at http://www.newcriterion.com/archive/13/jun95/silber.htm. 3. Read Kidder’s article "There's Only Ethics . . ." at http://www.globalethics.org/corp/keynotes.html.

A Life of Meaning and Contribution

You are invited to the Art & Science of Coaching 15 day Certification Program. If you are committed to increasing your business success, dramatically advancing your career and deeply enhancing your own and others' quality of life, these accelerated success tools are a key resource. You are invited to the Art & Science of Coaching 15-Day Certification Program. Erickson College is one of the world's fastest growing coaching schools, with over 375 people enrolled in 2003, 3 Master Certified Coaches to mentor our students and 5 new locations. We create great coaches and give them the powerful tools to contribute even more effectively and meaningfully.

along with your name and e-mail address.

End Notes

5. See http://www.coachfederation.org/credentialing/en/index.htm.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Advertise your business with us!

This choice, pledging to be held accountable for ethical conduct, builds public confidence in this young and growing profession.

4. See http://www.coachfederation.org/ethics/index.htm.

32

Coaching

Erickson College

duty and focus on the public good, which Moulton noted involves “doing right where there is no one to make you do it but yourself.”2 The law, according to the judge, holds one to a lower standard — mere obedience to the enforceable: break the law and you will be compelled to pay a price by external forces.

A

For choice advertising guidelines, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

H U M A N D E V E L O P M E N T C O M PA N Y

Toll Free: 1 800 665 6949 Fax: 604 879 7234 • email: [email protected] 2021 Columbia St., Vancouver, BC, Canada V5Y 3C9

www.ericksoncollege.com Vancouver • Portland • Calgary • London • Oslo • Moscow • Kiev

corporate leadership

corporate leadership

• Andrea Bauer chats with Rich Fettke, an accomplished speaker, author and coach, about what it means to be “on purpose.”

Purpose

Rich Fettke On

first met Rich Fettke — former president of Professional and Personal Coaches Association, past vice president of the International Coach Federation and one of its first Master Certified Coaches — in 1998 at a course on professional coaching that he was leading in San Francisco. Fresh faced and exuberant, Rich lit up the room with his passion for coaching. His energy was contagious; he was a man on purpose.

I

Rich believes you can overcome your fears, and demonstrates this in his “Extreme Adventure Days” program where, to name just a few of the adrenaline-pumping activities offered, you can rappel off a 100-foot cliff or jump out of a plane. Rich’s message remains clear: Extreme success can be yours without struggle. In his first book, Extreme Success, [Fireside/Simon & Schuster] Rich applies lessons he has learned from his own life’s experience as an extreme athlete. He outlines how to help others conquer their fears, to focus and to form partnerships to achieve more with ease. I met with Rich at his home in Walnut Creek, California earlier this year to interview him on the topic of “purpose” and to learn more about this man who has accomplished so much and has had a impact on so many.

Q+A AB: Rich, how do you define “purpose”?

RF: I would say it is more a feeling, a feeling of a sense of energy and focus. It’s when you don’t feel you have to fill a void. You are captivated by what you are doing, and it does not necessarily have to be work. I really see purpose as someone pushing their limits, going beyond what they think they can do, surprising [him- or herself], and getting a sense of fulfillment and excitement from that. Can one have different purposes or do you see one overarching theme that people work toward?

I would say that there are multiple purposes, just as I think there are thousands of different people you could get married to and be in love with. I don’t see purpose as something that is God given, or Universe given or just what you are born to do. I really see it as something that you discover, and it’s a combination of our life experiences. The challenges and the periods of growth and excitement that we have growing up — they all come together to make us who we are, and that creates purpose for us. What do you see your purpose as being right now?

Encouraging people and inspiring them to go after what they want … right now. To expand their 34

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

vision of what is possible. That’s what really excites me … when I have people take a look at who they really are, and what they really want, and help them get beyond the limitations of their own mind and then go after it. Was there a time in your life where you realized that there was such a thing as purpose? Have you always been conscious of it, even as a young child?

No, growing up, I wanted to be … I really saw myself as an artist. I took a lot of art courses, was always drawing and creating, and that’s what I focused on in school. When I got into community college, I signed up for art because I had done so badly in high school. My focus was to be a commercial artist. Then, when I got into bodybuilding, I started to build my body and to be interested in the body, and I started to lean toward chiropractic and the whole physical side of things. Then from there, I opened up a health club and I really got intrigued and interested in the business side of things. When I look back, I have always done some type of business. Since I was in fourth grade, I was doing something business related. So, business really fascinated me, and then it shifted to growing and developing myself, and seeing that I was not stuck with the person I thought I was. That carried over. I saw what it did for me, so I started to do that with others. Would you say that the changes you made were about following your interests and letting yourself flow?

Yes, exactly. I have a real hard time being limited. So with the art I started to see … well, if I do the art, someone is telling me what I need to draw or create. I did not like the idea of that. So when I got into chiropractic, I thought, “This is where I can be my own boss and all.” But then I saw … this is doing the same thing, every day, over and over. And then in business it seemed like there was no limit. I could go anywhere, do anything, start whatever business I wanted to, and the same with personal growth, development and business development. or Rich, purpose and values are synonymous. In his life and in his work, he continues to honor his own values of risk, no limits and fun. After exploring further with Rich about how he connects to and stays on purpose, the role that values play, and his perspective on money and purpose, we looked at what impact it might have on the world if everyone were living on purpose.

F

What would the world look like if everybody were living his or her life on purpose?

If everyone were living on purpose, it would be a much more peaceful world. That is one of the major driving forces behind my work. I really believe that when people are living on purpose or are growing and developing — if they are going after and living the life they want — they are not as frustrated. So they are nicer to each other, and that’s the way to world peace.

So, if everyone were living on purpose, I really believe that we would have a much more peaceful society because people would be happier. When people are off purpose, and they feel like they are going to work because they have to, or they are not taking care of themselves physically, or their relationships are all messed up, they start getting bitter. They get mad at themselves, and they turn that anger on other people.

•

Andrea Bauer is the creator of Soul Surveys™, an innovative collection of interviews conducted with people around the globe on a variety of topics.

corporate leadership

corporate leadership

• Andrea Bauer chats with Rich Fettke, an accomplished speaker, author and coach, about what it means to be “on purpose.”

Purpose

Rich Fettke On

first met Rich Fettke — former president of Professional and Personal Coaches Association, past vice president of the International Coach Federation and one of its first Master Certified Coaches — in 1998 at a course on professional coaching that he was leading in San Francisco. Fresh faced and exuberant, Rich lit up the room with his passion for coaching. His energy was contagious; he was a man on purpose.

I

Rich believes you can overcome your fears, and demonstrates this in his “Extreme Adventure Days” program where, to name just a few of the adrenaline-pumping activities offered, you can rappel off a 100-foot cliff or jump out of a plane. Rich’s message remains clear: Extreme success can be yours without struggle. In his first book, Extreme Success, [Fireside/Simon & Schuster] Rich applies lessons he has learned from his own life’s experience as an extreme athlete. He outlines how to help others conquer their fears, to focus and to form partnerships to achieve more with ease. I met with Rich at his home in Walnut Creek, California earlier this year to interview him on the topic of “purpose” and to learn more about this man who has accomplished so much and has had a impact on so many.

Q+A AB: Rich, how do you define “purpose”?

RF: I would say it is more a feeling, a feeling of a sense of energy and focus. It’s when you don’t feel you have to fill a void. You are captivated by what you are doing, and it does not necessarily have to be work. I really see purpose as someone pushing their limits, going beyond what they think they can do, surprising [him- or herself], and getting a sense of fulfillment and excitement from that. Can one have different purposes or do you see one overarching theme that people work toward?

I would say that there are multiple purposes, just as I think there are thousands of different people you could get married to and be in love with. I don’t see purpose as something that is God given, or Universe given or just what you are born to do. I really see it as something that you discover, and it’s a combination of our life experiences. The challenges and the periods of growth and excitement that we have growing up — they all come together to make us who we are, and that creates purpose for us. What do you see your purpose as being right now?

Encouraging people and inspiring them to go after what they want … right now. To expand their 34

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

vision of what is possible. That’s what really excites me … when I have people take a look at who they really are, and what they really want, and help them get beyond the limitations of their own mind and then go after it. Was there a time in your life where you realized that there was such a thing as purpose? Have you always been conscious of it, even as a young child?

No, growing up, I wanted to be … I really saw myself as an artist. I took a lot of art courses, was always drawing and creating, and that’s what I focused on in school. When I got into community college, I signed up for art because I had done so badly in high school. My focus was to be a commercial artist. Then, when I got into bodybuilding, I started to build my body and to be interested in the body, and I started to lean toward chiropractic and the whole physical side of things. Then from there, I opened up a health club and I really got intrigued and interested in the business side of things. When I look back, I have always done some type of business. Since I was in fourth grade, I was doing something business related. So, business really fascinated me, and then it shifted to growing and developing myself, and seeing that I was not stuck with the person I thought I was. That carried over. I saw what it did for me, so I started to do that with others. Would you say that the changes you made were about following your interests and letting yourself flow?

Yes, exactly. I have a real hard time being limited. So with the art I started to see … well, if I do the art, someone is telling me what I need to draw or create. I did not like the idea of that. So when I got into chiropractic, I thought, “This is where I can be my own boss and all.” But then I saw … this is doing the same thing, every day, over and over. And then in business it seemed like there was no limit. I could go anywhere, do anything, start whatever business I wanted to, and the same with personal growth, development and business development. or Rich, purpose and values are synonymous. In his life and in his work, he continues to honor his own values of risk, no limits and fun. After exploring further with Rich about how he connects to and stays on purpose, the role that values play, and his perspective on money and purpose, we looked at what impact it might have on the world if everyone were living on purpose.

F

What would the world look like if everybody were living his or her life on purpose?

If everyone were living on purpose, it would be a much more peaceful world. That is one of the major driving forces behind my work. I really believe that when people are living on purpose or are growing and developing — if they are going after and living the life they want — they are not as frustrated. So they are nicer to each other, and that’s the way to world peace.

So, if everyone were living on purpose, I really believe that we would have a much more peaceful society because people would be happier. When people are off purpose, and they feel like they are going to work because they have to, or they are not taking care of themselves physically, or their relationships are all messed up, they start getting bitter. They get mad at themselves, and they turn that anger on other people.

•

Andrea Bauer is the creator of Soul Surveys™, an innovative collection of interviews conducted with people around the globe on a variety of topics.

complementary

complementary

• Everybody’s doing it, or so it seems. But how does one achieve it, this thing they call “authenticity?” Can it be bought, begged or borrowed? Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. compares different states of being to help us determine what is …

Authenticity

T

The other day I was talking to Rae, a thirty-four-year-old mother of two small children, who lives in Minnesota. She said, “I’m not real thrilled with life right now. My kids are two and a half and four and a half, and I went back to work last January selling real estate. I’ve done sales, customer service and public relations, but I don’t like the idea of hopping around in my jobs. Real estate is okay, I guess, but I really love metaphysical stuff. My family all goes to church, but church doesn’t seem to fit me anymore. I need to find my life purpose!” Rae went on to describe her inner restlessness, her feeling that she is “not doing something right” and her growing conflict with her parents and husband. My hunch is that Rae is in a process of shifting values within a milieu 36

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

that is familiar but not very supportive of her search for fulfillment. Like many of us who are unhappy with where we are, Rae is putting the focus on finding her purpose — which means, in her case, finding the right career. However, finding the right career can be a mythical panacea that is not the answer to our deepest inner longings to feel recognized, happy and fulfilled. Paul Ray and Sherry Ruth Anderson wrote a book called, The Cultural Creatives, in which they describe three main streams of consciousness operating in the United States: the Traditionalists, the Modernists, and the Cultural Creatives. As Rae and I talked about the values and interests of these three groups, she realized that most of her friends and family held beliefs that sounded like the Traditionalists — a patriarchal view of family life that embraces traditional roles for men and women, the belief that family, church and community are where you belong, and that adhering to conservative customs maintains familiar ways of life.

Children have no trouble being authentic.

“

the time. I don’t want to be negative, to always see the down side or to expect the worst. I don’t want to be a fearful worrywart. I don’t want to be a people-pleaser. I don’t want to feel that I am not being authentic.”

As children, we have no trouble being authentic. Remember your parents’ mixed reaction when you blurted out some delightful, albeit disconcerting, blunt truth? Growing up, we naturally question authority or the status quo because curiosity and the need to understand how the world works are prime motivations in our developing psyche. At some critical point, however, we learn that in order to get along in the world, sometimes we need to withhold our opinions, listen to our elders, deny what we see and hear, lie low or, unfortunately, even lie. We begin the process of putting a lot of stuff — beliefs, opinions, self-criticisms, pain, fear, disappointments, humiliations, anger, rage, feelings of distrust and abandonment — in a closet hoping that maybe it will go away or we’ll sort it out later.

Photo by Jessica Jones

he word “authenticity” has caught our attention in much the same way the word “empowered” did a few years ago. It’s curious why authenticity seems so valuable to us that we talk about what it means, wonder if we have it, and search for ways to find it and express it. What makes us think we aren’t authentic? Coaches use this word quite often when referring to making life decisions. With so many influences impinging on us from family, the media and society, it’s no wonder that we’re not sure what we want or who we are!

independent income was not only viewed with criticism by her parents, who thought she should devote herself completely to being a wife and mother, but also by her husband. Their frequent fights over her work hours are causing her much anxiety and guilt.

”

Rae felt particularly at odds with the idea that all the guidance one needs for life can be found in the Bible. Her desire to work and have an

One of the most poignant interviews I’ve ever had was with a teacher named Jim who lived in the Midwest. One day he and his wife, also a teacher, were looking over their salary schedule. He said, “My wife looked at it and was excited to know that every year she would receive a five percent pay raise and could retire at 65 with a pension. We had just bought a house and all the furniture we would ever need, but when I thought about how the next 40 years were all mapped out for me, I got profoundly depressed.” By his family’s standards, Jim and his wife had everything. He said that given his family’s conservative outlook, he would have found it easier to commit suicide than to get a divorce. Eventually, he told his family he was going West to pursue his dream of being a comedian. As painful as the break was, he later divorced and met the love of his life. He is active in spiritual teachings, and works as a master of ceremonies in a comedy club. Jim’s need to live an authentic life was literally a life or death issue.

In a recent article, “The Power of Now,” in Noetic Sciences Review (March - May 2003), Eckhart Tolle says, “More and more, you realize that you are not your thoughts, because they come and go. They’re all conditioned; they’re all just the contents of your mind. Instead of deriving a sense of self from those contents, you realize that you can simply observe the contents. A deeper sense of self arises then. That is the aware presence, and it feels very spacious and peaceful, no matter what happens in your mind.” Below is a list of some feelings that comprise a syndrome of inauthenticity — which occur when our inner needs, values, and selfimage don’t match our outer expression, behaviors, and accomplishments — and some major characteristics of an authentic person.

Inauthentic Self

Authentic Self

Feels anxious Is a people-pleaser Second guesses every decision Rationalizes Is rigid Wants to impress others Says or does things he regrets Doesn’t expect much Placates Hides or denies feelings Feels like a victim Is paralyzed or hyperactive Uses addictive behavior Feels confused and overwhelmed Feels helpless or hopeless Is depressed or angry Gets trapped in endless mind chatter

Feels optimistic Is honest and open Commits, but is flexible Thinks for herself Goes with the flow, open to change Wants to do her best Knows when to apologize Knows how to accept and receive Negotiates Listens to feelings Takes responsibility Acts when appropriate Makes healthy choices Knows when to stop and reevaluate Knows how to ask for help Feels happy a lot of the time Is tuned into a larger field of intelligence

he voice of the authentic self is the same as the intuitive voice — that quiet, but persistent voice that whispers new ideas to us. Intuition speaks in short, clear messages that are qualitatively different from the repetitive mind chatter that makes us feel anxious. Intuition tells us where the authentic choice is … for each of us.

T

When we are birthing a more authentic version of ourselves, especially when we are unconsciously growing away from the familiar unspoken contracts and agreements we have with people, we experience some or all of the following feelings that Rae expressed in our conversation. I asked her to state what she does not want as the first step in identifying what she does want. She said, “I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I don’t want to feel unsure of myself. I don’t want to be tired all

It’s easy to assume that once you learn the secret of authenticity, you are going to be confident, balanced, wise and resourceful all of the time. However, some situations carry more stress, which may cause us to regress into old patterns. Think of the times you have attended cocktail parties, business meetings, job interviews, high school reunions or gone on blind dates. These are the “Authenticity Olympics” for most of us! Begin to notice with which friends you feel more yourself, more authentic. You may feel more comfortable in small gatherings or oddly enough, meeting a stranger on a plane where you find yourself spilling out feelings you haven’t shared even with family members. It’s easier to be authentic when your identity is secondary to other actions, like chatting with the owner of an adorable and friendly dog. A FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

37

complementary

complementary

• Everybody’s doing it, or so it seems. But how does one achieve it, this thing they call “authenticity?” Can it be bought, begged or borrowed? Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. compares different states of being to help us determine what is …

Authenticity

T

The other day I was talking to Rae, a thirty-four-year-old mother of two small children, who lives in Minnesota. She said, “I’m not real thrilled with life right now. My kids are two and a half and four and a half, and I went back to work last January selling real estate. I’ve done sales, customer service and public relations, but I don’t like the idea of hopping around in my jobs. Real estate is okay, I guess, but I really love metaphysical stuff. My family all goes to church, but church doesn’t seem to fit me anymore. I need to find my life purpose!” Rae went on to describe her inner restlessness, her feeling that she is “not doing something right” and her growing conflict with her parents and husband. My hunch is that Rae is in a process of shifting values within a milieu 36

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

that is familiar but not very supportive of her search for fulfillment. Like many of us who are unhappy with where we are, Rae is putting the focus on finding her purpose — which means, in her case, finding the right career. However, finding the right career can be a mythical panacea that is not the answer to our deepest inner longings to feel recognized, happy and fulfilled. Paul Ray and Sherry Ruth Anderson wrote a book called, The Cultural Creatives, in which they describe three main streams of consciousness operating in the United States: the Traditionalists, the Modernists, and the Cultural Creatives. As Rae and I talked about the values and interests of these three groups, she realized that most of her friends and family held beliefs that sounded like the Traditionalists — a patriarchal view of family life that embraces traditional roles for men and women, the belief that family, church and community are where you belong, and that adhering to conservative customs maintains familiar ways of life.

Children have no trouble being authentic.

“

the time. I don’t want to be negative, to always see the down side or to expect the worst. I don’t want to be a fearful worrywart. I don’t want to be a people-pleaser. I don’t want to feel that I am not being authentic.”

As children, we have no trouble being authentic. Remember your parents’ mixed reaction when you blurted out some delightful, albeit disconcerting, blunt truth? Growing up, we naturally question authority or the status quo because curiosity and the need to understand how the world works are prime motivations in our developing psyche. At some critical point, however, we learn that in order to get along in the world, sometimes we need to withhold our opinions, listen to our elders, deny what we see and hear, lie low or, unfortunately, even lie. We begin the process of putting a lot of stuff — beliefs, opinions, self-criticisms, pain, fear, disappointments, humiliations, anger, rage, feelings of distrust and abandonment — in a closet hoping that maybe it will go away or we’ll sort it out later.

Photo by Jessica Jones

he word “authenticity” has caught our attention in much the same way the word “empowered” did a few years ago. It’s curious why authenticity seems so valuable to us that we talk about what it means, wonder if we have it, and search for ways to find it and express it. What makes us think we aren’t authentic? Coaches use this word quite often when referring to making life decisions. With so many influences impinging on us from family, the media and society, it’s no wonder that we’re not sure what we want or who we are!

independent income was not only viewed with criticism by her parents, who thought she should devote herself completely to being a wife and mother, but also by her husband. Their frequent fights over her work hours are causing her much anxiety and guilt.

”

Rae felt particularly at odds with the idea that all the guidance one needs for life can be found in the Bible. Her desire to work and have an

One of the most poignant interviews I’ve ever had was with a teacher named Jim who lived in the Midwest. One day he and his wife, also a teacher, were looking over their salary schedule. He said, “My wife looked at it and was excited to know that every year she would receive a five percent pay raise and could retire at 65 with a pension. We had just bought a house and all the furniture we would ever need, but when I thought about how the next 40 years were all mapped out for me, I got profoundly depressed.” By his family’s standards, Jim and his wife had everything. He said that given his family’s conservative outlook, he would have found it easier to commit suicide than to get a divorce. Eventually, he told his family he was going West to pursue his dream of being a comedian. As painful as the break was, he later divorced and met the love of his life. He is active in spiritual teachings, and works as a master of ceremonies in a comedy club. Jim’s need to live an authentic life was literally a life or death issue.

In a recent article, “The Power of Now,” in Noetic Sciences Review (March - May 2003), Eckhart Tolle says, “More and more, you realize that you are not your thoughts, because they come and go. They’re all conditioned; they’re all just the contents of your mind. Instead of deriving a sense of self from those contents, you realize that you can simply observe the contents. A deeper sense of self arises then. That is the aware presence, and it feels very spacious and peaceful, no matter what happens in your mind.” Below is a list of some feelings that comprise a syndrome of inauthenticity — which occur when our inner needs, values, and selfimage don’t match our outer expression, behaviors, and accomplishments — and some major characteristics of an authentic person.

Inauthentic Self

Authentic Self

Feels anxious Is a people-pleaser Second guesses every decision Rationalizes Is rigid Wants to impress others Says or does things he regrets Doesn’t expect much Placates Hides or denies feelings Feels like a victim Is paralyzed or hyperactive Uses addictive behavior Feels confused and overwhelmed Feels helpless or hopeless Is depressed or angry Gets trapped in endless mind chatter

Feels optimistic Is honest and open Commits, but is flexible Thinks for herself Goes with the flow, open to change Wants to do her best Knows when to apologize Knows how to accept and receive Negotiates Listens to feelings Takes responsibility Acts when appropriate Makes healthy choices Knows when to stop and reevaluate Knows how to ask for help Feels happy a lot of the time Is tuned into a larger field of intelligence

he voice of the authentic self is the same as the intuitive voice — that quiet, but persistent voice that whispers new ideas to us. Intuition speaks in short, clear messages that are qualitatively different from the repetitive mind chatter that makes us feel anxious. Intuition tells us where the authentic choice is … for each of us.

T

When we are birthing a more authentic version of ourselves, especially when we are unconsciously growing away from the familiar unspoken contracts and agreements we have with people, we experience some or all of the following feelings that Rae expressed in our conversation. I asked her to state what she does not want as the first step in identifying what she does want. She said, “I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I don’t want to feel unsure of myself. I don’t want to be tired all

It’s easy to assume that once you learn the secret of authenticity, you are going to be confident, balanced, wise and resourceful all of the time. However, some situations carry more stress, which may cause us to regress into old patterns. Think of the times you have attended cocktail parties, business meetings, job interviews, high school reunions or gone on blind dates. These are the “Authenticity Olympics” for most of us! Begin to notice with which friends you feel more yourself, more authentic. You may feel more comfortable in small gatherings or oddly enough, meeting a stranger on a plane where you find yourself spilling out feelings you haven’t shared even with family members. It’s easier to be authentic when your identity is secondary to other actions, like chatting with the owner of an adorable and friendly dog. A FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

37

complementary

complementary

good sign that you are feeling authentic is when you feel expanded and relaxed. Feeling hemmed in or contracted is a sign that you are shutting down and not being as present as you could be. Becoming a self-confident, happy and fulfilled person who uses her talents to create prosperity and well-being æ as well as giving service to others æ is a lifelong task.

How to increase your sense of being truly authentic:

• MEDITATE. Observe passing thoughts as if they were clouds. • SPECIFY THE FEAR. When making changes, write down exactly what you are afraid might happen. Get very clear about the shape of the fear and what you are actually dealing with.

• FIND THE ROOT. Ask yourself: Whose voice is making me afraid? Is it my voice? My parents’? The voice of mass media?

• MANAGE AROUND THE FEAR. Find small steps you can do in spite of the fear.

• DROP SELF-DOUBT. Complete something that you have been putting off. Set one small goal and achieve it. Nothing erases self-doubt better than a little string of successes.

• LOOK FOR A THIRD SOLUTION. When agonizing over two choices, remember that this polarization serves a purpose: to keep you from taking any step. When lost in black-and-white thinking, look for a third option.

• APPRECIATE YOUR UNIQUENESS. Everyone has special talents. • STOP STRUGGLING. There is a time for perseverance and a time to let go.

• ENJOY THE MOMENT. Take delight in friends, beauty and small pleasures.

• TAKE YOUR TIME. Slow down. Avoid the tendency to fill up the space.

• STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE. Suppressing action

Sometimes coaching is about figuring out how to get out of a hole that you’ve dug yourself into, but only sometimes. I believe one of the reasons that coaching is becoming so popular is that good coaching doesn’t just solve problems; it’s actually generative, by which I mean it enables people to become more effective, more productive and more of what they can be. So the possibility is there for going further than you might have dreamed possible. Good coaching means you have the regulated, structured support of someone whose expertise enables you to achieve more of your inherent capabilities.

• There is a magic play between acquiring practical skills and inspiring realistic hope of what is attainable. Ian McDermott details how NLP can up the ante in coaching.

The Power of

NLP Coaching

Think about what a coach does in athletics: he has the gift of seeing potential and giving specific instructions that enable athletes to go beyond their previous best. While being able to teach these skills, the coach is also able to inspire athletes with a vision of what is possible. There is a magic play between acquiring practical skills and inspiring realistic hope of what is attainable. You can understand why this might be appealing to people who know that if they just had good support, good feedback and a little ongoing inspiration, they could achieve so much more, both professionally and personally. am often asked what sort of people seek out coaching and what are the subjects covered. The answer is virtually anyone and virtually anything.

I

he other day a consultant who recently started coaching was telling me how her colleagues had been commenting on the increased success she was having with clients and asking her what she was doing that was different. As they talked, it became clear to her that she was indeed doing something different. Whenever her colleagues began working with an individual or an organization, their first question was, “What’s the problem?” Furthermore, they often acted as if it was their job to solve it.

T

Much of my coaching work is with senior executives who are technically brilliant at what they do in their specialization, but who find themselves in positions where improved communication and people skills are vital to their future success. Most of us were not taught communication or leadership or influencing skills at school. So if you find yourself suddenly in charge of a team of people with their own issues and challenges, you may have to develop a new set of life skills around management, team building and interpersonal skills.

and passion is draining.

• SIMPLIFY. Troubles arise when we try to do too many things. Being authentic is being able to say “yes” when you mean it and “no” when you need to.

• SPEND MORE TIME IN NATURE. Natural surroundings put options into perspective.

To quote Eckhart Tolle, “When your sense of self is no longer tied to thought, is no longer conceptual, there is a depth of feeling of sensing, of compassion, of loving that was not there when you were trapped in mental concepts. You are that depth.” You need not make huge changes in your life to experience being more authentic and present. Acting on any one of the choices above can immediately change how you experience your life.

•

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an internationally known workshop facilitator and author whose books have been translated into over 15 languages. Her latest book is When Life Changes, or You Wish It Would (HarperCollins).

38

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

The consultant in question is just finishing her neurolinguistic programming (NLP) practitioner training with me, and told me this story because she wanted to know what the difference was. She realized that because of her NLP training, she was now starting from a very different place. She no longer assumed there was a problem to be solved, but that there was something her clients wanted.

But that’s only one form of coaching; another may be working with people who are considering career changes. People may know that they’re not happy in their current jobs, but aren’t always clear about what they want to do instead. Sometimes it is more what I would call “personal coaching.” People are aware that they have personal issues and want to work with a professional who can help them achieve clarity but, above all, provide any necessary tools for change. We also receive inquiries from people with significant personal issues who have decided it is time to finally let go of the past and move on.

I have been struck over the last year at how coaching is becoming an increasingly popular tool for personal and professional development. At International Teaching Seminars we are experiencing a rapid increase in requests for personal and executive coaching. One of the reasons for its popularity and effectiveness is that coaching presupposes that anyone’s innate ability can be developed further. That ability may already be quite highly developed though possibly only in certain areas of a person’s life. For instance, the individual who has great technical expertise may be lacking the developed people skills that management knows to be essential if they are going to promote him.

The merit of NLP for anyone involved in coaching is that it is very solution focused and, over the past 25 years, has developed a very impressive set of tools and techniques for promoting easy and rapid goal achievement. These tools are a guarantee for the client that the field, and this method of working, is already well developed. They also guarantee that the NLP coach is used to the mental discipline required to get to the point and pursue success, rather than dwell on past failures and disappointments. NLP offers anyone in the coaching field an enormous variety of tools, techniques and interventions but, above all, a very rigorously tested, solution-focused way of thinking that will increase any coach’s effectiveness in two ways. First, for the people they already work with and, second, this approach enables the coach to establish rapport, be at ease and work successfully with a much wider range of people. When coaching, I’m very aware that I’m much more than just a coach; I’m an ally. Apart from offering all of my skills, I’m there to encourage, inspire, but also to give specific feedback. One person I was working with came across as disengaged. Through coaching, he realized that the way he habitually sat made him appear laid back. At work, his body language was being interpreted as low energy and lack of commitment. In this case, part of my role as a coach was to act as a mirror to show him how he presents and the impression that gives. After that, it was easy for him to make some changes. We know it worked because he got the promotion that had been hanging in the balance! nother highly effective aspect of incorporating NLP into coaching is that it lets you create the future you want while handling anything from the past that may be holding you back. NLP gives a well trained coach a set of powerful tools to enable people to let go of those blocks once and for all, so that we not only experience success in life, but the joy that should come with it too.

A

There’s a final, very important aspect to coaching. For me, even when someone seeks out coaching for a specific issue or goal, there is something equally important happening at a different level. A good coach will also be assisting you to become more of who you really are. By developing your potential and your talents, you are being more true to yourself; you are tapping your true potential. This leads to greater congruency, success, happiness and fulfillment. So NLP coaching moves beyond just getting clear on your potential. It also offers you the practical tools to turn your dreams into reality. The reason I do what I do is that I can help people dare to dream, and then give them the tools to make it happen.

Coaching is a collaborative relationship.

“

Good coaching supports the whole person. As people become more professionally adept, so their personal confidence can increase. Equally, the more people become at ease in themselves so they achieve a greater professional presence and credibility. In my view, the coach is an ally. It’s a collaborative relationship.

”

•

Ian McDermott is the author of 10 books on coaching, and the co-author of NLP Coach (Cygnus Books).

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

39

complementary

complementary

good sign that you are feeling authentic is when you feel expanded and relaxed. Feeling hemmed in or contracted is a sign that you are shutting down and not being as present as you could be. Becoming a self-confident, happy and fulfilled person who uses her talents to create prosperity and well-being æ as well as giving service to others æ is a lifelong task.

How to increase your sense of being truly authentic:

• MEDITATE. Observe passing thoughts as if they were clouds. • SPECIFY THE FEAR. When making changes, write down exactly what you are afraid might happen. Get very clear about the shape of the fear and what you are actually dealing with.

• FIND THE ROOT. Ask yourself: Whose voice is making me afraid? Is it my voice? My parents’? The voice of mass media?

• MANAGE AROUND THE FEAR. Find small steps you can do in spite of the fear.

• DROP SELF-DOUBT. Complete something that you have been putting off. Set one small goal and achieve it. Nothing erases self-doubt better than a little string of successes.

• LOOK FOR A THIRD SOLUTION. When agonizing over two choices, remember that this polarization serves a purpose: to keep you from taking any step. When lost in black-and-white thinking, look for a third option.

• APPRECIATE YOUR UNIQUENESS. Everyone has special talents. • STOP STRUGGLING. There is a time for perseverance and a time to let go.

• ENJOY THE MOMENT. Take delight in friends, beauty and small pleasures.

• TAKE YOUR TIME. Slow down. Avoid the tendency to fill up the space.

• STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE. Suppressing action

Sometimes coaching is about figuring out how to get out of a hole that you’ve dug yourself into, but only sometimes. I believe one of the reasons that coaching is becoming so popular is that good coaching doesn’t just solve problems; it’s actually generative, by which I mean it enables people to become more effective, more productive and more of what they can be. So the possibility is there for going further than you might have dreamed possible. Good coaching means you have the regulated, structured support of someone whose expertise enables you to achieve more of your inherent capabilities.

• There is a magic play between acquiring practical skills and inspiring realistic hope of what is attainable. Ian McDermott details how NLP can up the ante in coaching.

The Power of

NLP Coaching

Think about what a coach does in athletics: he has the gift of seeing potential and giving specific instructions that enable athletes to go beyond their previous best. While being able to teach these skills, the coach is also able to inspire athletes with a vision of what is possible. There is a magic play between acquiring practical skills and inspiring realistic hope of what is attainable. You can understand why this might be appealing to people who know that if they just had good support, good feedback and a little ongoing inspiration, they could achieve so much more, both professionally and personally. am often asked what sort of people seek out coaching and what are the subjects covered. The answer is virtually anyone and virtually anything.

I

he other day a consultant who recently started coaching was telling me how her colleagues had been commenting on the increased success she was having with clients and asking her what she was doing that was different. As they talked, it became clear to her that she was indeed doing something different. Whenever her colleagues began working with an individual or an organization, their first question was, “What’s the problem?” Furthermore, they often acted as if it was their job to solve it.

T

Much of my coaching work is with senior executives who are technically brilliant at what they do in their specialization, but who find themselves in positions where improved communication and people skills are vital to their future success. Most of us were not taught communication or leadership or influencing skills at school. So if you find yourself suddenly in charge of a team of people with their own issues and challenges, you may have to develop a new set of life skills around management, team building and interpersonal skills.

and passion is draining.

• SIMPLIFY. Troubles arise when we try to do too many things. Being authentic is being able to say “yes” when you mean it and “no” when you need to.

• SPEND MORE TIME IN NATURE. Natural surroundings put options into perspective.

To quote Eckhart Tolle, “When your sense of self is no longer tied to thought, is no longer conceptual, there is a depth of feeling of sensing, of compassion, of loving that was not there when you were trapped in mental concepts. You are that depth.” You need not make huge changes in your life to experience being more authentic and present. Acting on any one of the choices above can immediately change how you experience your life.

•

Carol Adrienne, Ph.D. is an internationally known workshop facilitator and author whose books have been translated into over 15 languages. Her latest book is When Life Changes, or You Wish It Would (HarperCollins).

38

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

The consultant in question is just finishing her neurolinguistic programming (NLP) practitioner training with me, and told me this story because she wanted to know what the difference was. She realized that because of her NLP training, she was now starting from a very different place. She no longer assumed there was a problem to be solved, but that there was something her clients wanted.

But that’s only one form of coaching; another may be working with people who are considering career changes. People may know that they’re not happy in their current jobs, but aren’t always clear about what they want to do instead. Sometimes it is more what I would call “personal coaching.” People are aware that they have personal issues and want to work with a professional who can help them achieve clarity but, above all, provide any necessary tools for change. We also receive inquiries from people with significant personal issues who have decided it is time to finally let go of the past and move on.

I have been struck over the last year at how coaching is becoming an increasingly popular tool for personal and professional development. At International Teaching Seminars we are experiencing a rapid increase in requests for personal and executive coaching. One of the reasons for its popularity and effectiveness is that coaching presupposes that anyone’s innate ability can be developed further. That ability may already be quite highly developed though possibly only in certain areas of a person’s life. For instance, the individual who has great technical expertise may be lacking the developed people skills that management knows to be essential if they are going to promote him.

The merit of NLP for anyone involved in coaching is that it is very solution focused and, over the past 25 years, has developed a very impressive set of tools and techniques for promoting easy and rapid goal achievement. These tools are a guarantee for the client that the field, and this method of working, is already well developed. They also guarantee that the NLP coach is used to the mental discipline required to get to the point and pursue success, rather than dwell on past failures and disappointments. NLP offers anyone in the coaching field an enormous variety of tools, techniques and interventions but, above all, a very rigorously tested, solution-focused way of thinking that will increase any coach’s effectiveness in two ways. First, for the people they already work with and, second, this approach enables the coach to establish rapport, be at ease and work successfully with a much wider range of people. When coaching, I’m very aware that I’m much more than just a coach; I’m an ally. Apart from offering all of my skills, I’m there to encourage, inspire, but also to give specific feedback. One person I was working with came across as disengaged. Through coaching, he realized that the way he habitually sat made him appear laid back. At work, his body language was being interpreted as low energy and lack of commitment. In this case, part of my role as a coach was to act as a mirror to show him how he presents and the impression that gives. After that, it was easy for him to make some changes. We know it worked because he got the promotion that had been hanging in the balance! nother highly effective aspect of incorporating NLP into coaching is that it lets you create the future you want while handling anything from the past that may be holding you back. NLP gives a well trained coach a set of powerful tools to enable people to let go of those blocks once and for all, so that we not only experience success in life, but the joy that should come with it too.

A

There’s a final, very important aspect to coaching. For me, even when someone seeks out coaching for a specific issue or goal, there is something equally important happening at a different level. A good coach will also be assisting you to become more of who you really are. By developing your potential and your talents, you are being more true to yourself; you are tapping your true potential. This leads to greater congruency, success, happiness and fulfillment. So NLP coaching moves beyond just getting clear on your potential. It also offers you the practical tools to turn your dreams into reality. The reason I do what I do is that I can help people dare to dream, and then give them the tools to make it happen.

Coaching is a collaborative relationship.

“

Good coaching supports the whole person. As people become more professionally adept, so their personal confidence can increase. Equally, the more people become at ease in themselves so they achieve a greater professional presence and credibility. In my view, the coach is an ally. It’s a collaborative relationship.

”

•

Ian McDermott is the author of 10 books on coaching, and the co-author of NLP Coach (Cygnus Books).

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

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therapy alliance

therapy alliance

• Patrick Williams, Ed.D, therapist and coach, presents an innovative, wholistic approach to an old conundrum. He goes …

Beyond the 12th Step:

Life Coaching after Addiction Counseling he focus of addiction counseling has always been to keep the client clean and sober, and restore some sense of functionality. It is about preventing relapse and providing a place of structure and safety to protect the person’s sobriety. In this context, the 12-Step Program has literally saved countless thousands of lives. Its contribution to the therapy of addictive clients is immeasurable.

T

But what happens after the twelfth step? Is there life beyond merely a static place of sober functioning? I posit that life coaching can take the addictive personality beyond the twelfth step, into a future place of gratifying productiveness — the reality of achieved goals and successes that would ordinarily remain unmet. Unachieved goals and unrealized potential are an unaddressed threat to the addictive client’s sober future. They keep him or her locked into an endless cycle of running “no-destination laps” on the “need-to-staysober treadmill.” Life coaching can break this unproductive cycle and steer the client towards a place of realized dreams, where the focus is on the wonderful possible future, instead of the destructive past. Take the story of a woman currently addicted to 12-Step Programs. For 20 years she has joined and rejoined twelve-step, self-help groups, always thinking of and keeping herself in a “broken” mode. For this kind of person, there is no “post-addiction” victory. Life becomes a broken record, caught endlessly in the loop of therapy and self-help programs, never realizing what lies beyond addiction. Life is consumed with the need merely to maintain, never to reach and achieve. The fear of 40

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

falling off the wagon sometimes keeps the wagon from going anywhere new, exciting and fulfilling or moving into the future of possibility — beyond the twelfth step. As a therapist turned coach, I believe the therapist’s work is critical for recovery. But this work focuses necessarily on relapse prevention — working through pain and past reasons for the addiction; holding the client accountable; anticipating and dealing with myriad problems that occur in every addictive person’s recovery; charting and overseeing the desired course of treatment to ensure a functional life despite the addiction. Treated as a diagnosable illness with medical and clinical models, addiction looks at the past in order to gain some functioning present. Instead of replacing or modifying this kind of therapy, I suggest that it be complemented and completed through life coaching.

Life coaching treats the whole person.

“

”

sychotherapy generally deals with emotional and behavioral problems and disruptive situations — such as addictions — and seeks to bring the client to normal function by focusing on his dysfunction. This context can keep the person in constant recovery, which unconsciously imposes a limit on discovering and creating a fulfilling, purposeful life. In contrast, life coaching generally deals with functional

P

persons who want to move beyond addiction to achieve excellence while creating an extraordinary life. Coaching is a process similar to solutionfocused techniques that many therapists use for less serious psycho-emotional problems and life stresses, yet goes beyond just problem solving by creating instead of fixing. The basic philosophy behind life coaching is that humans have immeasurable resources of energy, wisdom, ability and genius waiting to be set in motion. Coaching can help us create the life we want more efficiently by tapping into our resources to facilitate change and realize our potential. Life coaching treats the whole person, not the dysfunction. It focuses on helping people who already have a “measure of success” in their lives — sobriety and a stabilized place of safety — but who want to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be in their professional and personal life. With coaching, this safe place becomes a place of expectation and amazing potential, instead of mere functioning. A life coach is much like a trainer who helps an athlete win the “gold medal” instead of just being in the race. Life coaches help their clients design the life they want, bring out their clients’ own brilliance and resources so that they can achieve excellence and create purposeful, extraordinary lives. We believe the most powerful therapy on earth is to empower a person by showing him his strengths instead of his weaknesses. This logical and most healing move beyond the twelfth step of addiction therapy can improve dramatically the addictive client’s overall mental health and life. Coaching answers the question “now what?” that every addictive client asks when reaching that twelfth step.

looking in your rear-view mirror you see the stretch of road just negotiated filled with the boulders of disappointment and the potholes of missed opportunities. Looking ahead, you see the endless horizon of possibilities waiting to be explored. The backward glance is therapy: seeing clearly what has been experienced, analyzing the reasons and regaining a foothold. The forward view is coaching: working actively with the conscious mind to facilitate the client’s stepping into a preferred future, while living a fulfilling life in the present. When is the addictive patient in therapy ready for the life-coaching step? Every patient presents unique and individual needs for a personalized therapy program, and every potential life-coaching client likewise is ready for this coaching step at different places along the path of therapy. The trained therapist is best able to determine the moment in recovery when life coaching can either supplement the 12-step process or move the patient beyond it. Understanding the major differences between therapy and coaching is helpful in determining which combination of these practices is suitable to particular clients. There are three broad categories that offer distinctions between therapy and coaching: • Therapy focuses on the past; coaching looks to the future — perspectives on the process of healing. • Therapy seeks to “fix” the patient, coaching aims to co-create with the client, which is why the person seeks it out in the first place. • The therapist is the expert who holds the answers and can fix the problem. The coach partners with the client to support his growth and co-create a better life with him — a contrast between the professional and the collegial relationship.

It is necessary for the addicted client to move along the 12-step path with the kind of care, guidance and accountability provided by a trained therapist. Each step is designed to realize another measure of success until, ultimately, sustained sobriety is achieved. Most often, this path to restored functionality takes years, and these clients are not the best candidates for life coaching; there is too much other work to do. But somewhere along this path the client must look beyond that twelfth step, and find a road to continued success and realized potential for the future. Eventually, the substance-free person can work with a coach to co-create the life he or she really wants — not just a fragilely balanced life.

Therapy deals with the patient’s past and how it applies to his present. The therapist works to bring the client to an adequate and reasonable level of functioning, given the addiction. In contrast, the coach works with an already adequately functioning individual — the addiction is under control, a state of sobriety prevails — to move him or her to a more satisfying level of functionality. Traditional psychotherapy focuses on the root of the problem, the history — the “everything” of origin; coaching focuses on barrier identification, goal setting, planning and creative action to achieve a healthy future.

ddictive therapy sessions explore the reasons behind addiction in order to understand what may have caused it. What holes were drugs or alcohol filling? While therapy can help the patient understand the reasons, it may not always help him find ways to move past the holes, or better yet, to fill them in.

Coaching is not about fixing; it’s about creating.

A

Therapy focuses on the inner world of the addict, but does not necessarily translate into the outer dynamics and his future potential. Contrast therapy and coaching in this way: You are driving down the freeway;

“

”

In the clinical therapy practice, the client presents a problem: in this case, an addiction. He or she has come to you to “fix” the problem. In your therapy model for this client, you undertake all the strategies you have been trained to use in the process of healing, including patient FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

41

therapy alliance

therapy alliance

• Patrick Williams, Ed.D, therapist and coach, presents an innovative, wholistic approach to an old conundrum. He goes …

Beyond the 12th Step:

Life Coaching after Addiction Counseling he focus of addiction counseling has always been to keep the client clean and sober, and restore some sense of functionality. It is about preventing relapse and providing a place of structure and safety to protect the person’s sobriety. In this context, the 12-Step Program has literally saved countless thousands of lives. Its contribution to the therapy of addictive clients is immeasurable.

T

But what happens after the twelfth step? Is there life beyond merely a static place of sober functioning? I posit that life coaching can take the addictive personality beyond the twelfth step, into a future place of gratifying productiveness — the reality of achieved goals and successes that would ordinarily remain unmet. Unachieved goals and unrealized potential are an unaddressed threat to the addictive client’s sober future. They keep him or her locked into an endless cycle of running “no-destination laps” on the “need-to-staysober treadmill.” Life coaching can break this unproductive cycle and steer the client towards a place of realized dreams, where the focus is on the wonderful possible future, instead of the destructive past. Take the story of a woman currently addicted to 12-Step Programs. For 20 years she has joined and rejoined twelve-step, self-help groups, always thinking of and keeping herself in a “broken” mode. For this kind of person, there is no “post-addiction” victory. Life becomes a broken record, caught endlessly in the loop of therapy and self-help programs, never realizing what lies beyond addiction. Life is consumed with the need merely to maintain, never to reach and achieve. The fear of 40

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

falling off the wagon sometimes keeps the wagon from going anywhere new, exciting and fulfilling or moving into the future of possibility — beyond the twelfth step. As a therapist turned coach, I believe the therapist’s work is critical for recovery. But this work focuses necessarily on relapse prevention — working through pain and past reasons for the addiction; holding the client accountable; anticipating and dealing with myriad problems that occur in every addictive person’s recovery; charting and overseeing the desired course of treatment to ensure a functional life despite the addiction. Treated as a diagnosable illness with medical and clinical models, addiction looks at the past in order to gain some functioning present. Instead of replacing or modifying this kind of therapy, I suggest that it be complemented and completed through life coaching.

Life coaching treats the whole person.

“

”

sychotherapy generally deals with emotional and behavioral problems and disruptive situations — such as addictions — and seeks to bring the client to normal function by focusing on his dysfunction. This context can keep the person in constant recovery, which unconsciously imposes a limit on discovering and creating a fulfilling, purposeful life. In contrast, life coaching generally deals with functional

P

persons who want to move beyond addiction to achieve excellence while creating an extraordinary life. Coaching is a process similar to solutionfocused techniques that many therapists use for less serious psycho-emotional problems and life stresses, yet goes beyond just problem solving by creating instead of fixing. The basic philosophy behind life coaching is that humans have immeasurable resources of energy, wisdom, ability and genius waiting to be set in motion. Coaching can help us create the life we want more efficiently by tapping into our resources to facilitate change and realize our potential. Life coaching treats the whole person, not the dysfunction. It focuses on helping people who already have a “measure of success” in their lives — sobriety and a stabilized place of safety — but who want to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be in their professional and personal life. With coaching, this safe place becomes a place of expectation and amazing potential, instead of mere functioning. A life coach is much like a trainer who helps an athlete win the “gold medal” instead of just being in the race. Life coaches help their clients design the life they want, bring out their clients’ own brilliance and resources so that they can achieve excellence and create purposeful, extraordinary lives. We believe the most powerful therapy on earth is to empower a person by showing him his strengths instead of his weaknesses. This logical and most healing move beyond the twelfth step of addiction therapy can improve dramatically the addictive client’s overall mental health and life. Coaching answers the question “now what?” that every addictive client asks when reaching that twelfth step.

looking in your rear-view mirror you see the stretch of road just negotiated filled with the boulders of disappointment and the potholes of missed opportunities. Looking ahead, you see the endless horizon of possibilities waiting to be explored. The backward glance is therapy: seeing clearly what has been experienced, analyzing the reasons and regaining a foothold. The forward view is coaching: working actively with the conscious mind to facilitate the client’s stepping into a preferred future, while living a fulfilling life in the present. When is the addictive patient in therapy ready for the life-coaching step? Every patient presents unique and individual needs for a personalized therapy program, and every potential life-coaching client likewise is ready for this coaching step at different places along the path of therapy. The trained therapist is best able to determine the moment in recovery when life coaching can either supplement the 12-step process or move the patient beyond it. Understanding the major differences between therapy and coaching is helpful in determining which combination of these practices is suitable to particular clients. There are three broad categories that offer distinctions between therapy and coaching: • Therapy focuses on the past; coaching looks to the future — perspectives on the process of healing. • Therapy seeks to “fix” the patient, coaching aims to co-create with the client, which is why the person seeks it out in the first place. • The therapist is the expert who holds the answers and can fix the problem. The coach partners with the client to support his growth and co-create a better life with him — a contrast between the professional and the collegial relationship.

It is necessary for the addicted client to move along the 12-step path with the kind of care, guidance and accountability provided by a trained therapist. Each step is designed to realize another measure of success until, ultimately, sustained sobriety is achieved. Most often, this path to restored functionality takes years, and these clients are not the best candidates for life coaching; there is too much other work to do. But somewhere along this path the client must look beyond that twelfth step, and find a road to continued success and realized potential for the future. Eventually, the substance-free person can work with a coach to co-create the life he or she really wants — not just a fragilely balanced life.

Therapy deals with the patient’s past and how it applies to his present. The therapist works to bring the client to an adequate and reasonable level of functioning, given the addiction. In contrast, the coach works with an already adequately functioning individual — the addiction is under control, a state of sobriety prevails — to move him or her to a more satisfying level of functionality. Traditional psychotherapy focuses on the root of the problem, the history — the “everything” of origin; coaching focuses on barrier identification, goal setting, planning and creative action to achieve a healthy future.

ddictive therapy sessions explore the reasons behind addiction in order to understand what may have caused it. What holes were drugs or alcohol filling? While therapy can help the patient understand the reasons, it may not always help him find ways to move past the holes, or better yet, to fill them in.

Coaching is not about fixing; it’s about creating.

A

Therapy focuses on the inner world of the addict, but does not necessarily translate into the outer dynamics and his future potential. Contrast therapy and coaching in this way: You are driving down the freeway;

“

”

In the clinical therapy practice, the client presents a problem: in this case, an addiction. He or she has come to you to “fix” the problem. In your therapy model for this client, you undertake all the strategies you have been trained to use in the process of healing, including patient FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

41

therapy alliance

get to know

diagnosis and treatment plans. All of these strategies are aimed at fixing the existing problem. The client’s perspective in all of this is that you will fix him. Coaching, however, is not about fixing; it’s about creating. There is no need for a diagnostic label or even a treatment plan. The assumption in life coaching, for both the client and the coach, is that by working together the client will have greater success in planning, setting goals, and creating a healthy lifestyle. The therapist facilitates the fixing, and the coach facilitates the progress to a fulfilling life beyond the addiction. uring the initial treatment stages of addiction therapy, the therapist is the professional — the expert who fixes the problem. This power differential is difficult to overcome in any coaching relationship, since the power, from the client’s perspective, rests with the therapist. While therapy sessions may quite often be intense and sometimes even difficult, the coaching relationship is more on an equal footing. A life coach makes a conscious effort to keep the coaching relationship balanced — an active partnership.

D

Coaches recognize that their clients have the knowledge and the solutions; the coach simply helps unlock the clients’ own brilliance. Coaching sessions are typically open, often friendly, casual and even light. At appropriate times, the coach may even feel comfortable sharing personal experiences that are pertinent to what the client is experiencing. Typically, clients and coaches come to feel they really know each other on a deeper level than is common in most other professional relationships. Should the therapist also don the coaching hat? Often, the answer to this question is no! Generally, a therapist separates his or her therapy practice from any coaching practice. However, it is true that some therapists have been trained as coaches, and practice coaching techniques with many of their therapy clients. And many therapists have actually transitioned very successfully into full-time coaching. For therapists who are also coaches and practice active therapy with their clients, it is possible to move into a coaching phase with the addictive client, as long as there is a ritual ending to the therapy relationship, and coaching is begun formally and clearly. It is still best, however, for therapists to refer clients to life coaches when they have resolved their therapeutic issues and are ready to move forward with their life plans.

The therapist is the expert; the coach is your partner.

“

”

42

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Most therapists agree that to avoid a relapse, something must replace the addictive substance or situation. For those who have spent many years in and out of addictive situations, the addictions themselves create a lifestyle that is difficult to change. Often, a void is left in that person’s life that needs filling. Life coaching can help the client breach this gap with productive alternatives that may quite possibly allow her or him to reach previously unattained potentials. transition occurs in the client’s life when moving from therapy to coaching. Therapy is centered in psychoanalytic styles, pathology, process, history and the exploration of the inner world. It focuses on solutions for specific “problems.” As the client transitions to coaching, he begins to experience a broad focus on his whole person, not just the addiction. The orientation is on outcomes and action, moving from the inner world of therapy to the outer realities and possibilities of life.

A

In therapy, the vision is limited to a specific set of circumstances that have created something “bad” in the person’s life. In coaching, an unlimited vision opens up, filled with promise — the opportunity and ability to achieve dreams, leaving behind the limitations of the past. The therapist asks “why?” The coach asks “how?” The post- addictive client moves from being patient to partner with the possibility of a bright and attainable future. The gap is breached!

•

What’s Next? T

he advent of coaching has changed the post-addiction outlook for those who have reached sobriety and are looking to create lives of fulfillment and promise beyond the plateau of maintenance. If you are a therapist, you have considerable options in exploring the possibilities of using life coaching for your patients. Some therapists have moved out of the therapy profession altogether into full-time life coaching. Their formal training and education as therapists make them coaches with unique skills and background, able to co-create productive lives with their clients, as well as experience fulfillment in supporting others to live their dreams. For others, investigating the resources available in professional life coaching, and learning how to determine the appropriate time for the transition of their patients from therapy to coaching with another professional, can be an invaluable asset to their addictive patients. However you choose to incorporate life coaching into your therapy practice, this option is the logical next step for your addictive patients. It will take them beyond the twelfth step into a life of new and continuing successes.

Patrick Williams, Ph.D., MCC, is co-author, with Deborah C. Davis, of Therapist as Life Coach: Transforming Your Practice (W.W. Norton & Company).

•

In their teaching experiences, Neil Stroul, Ph.D. and Chris Wahl, M.A., discover that, when all is going well, synchronicity and creativity permeate coaching.

Being, Doing, Using A Way to Understanding Coaching A s faculty members in the Leadership Coaching Certificate Program at Georgetown University, Washington, DC, we are master coaches dedicated to “double-loop” learning. We also learn from our work, our interactions with other faculty members and our students. In fact, one of the great benefits of teaching coaching is that it is a superb vehicle for deepening clarity regarding your own practice, and drawing a clearer connection between theory and practice. As a result, our thinking about coaching, and our practice, are constantly evolving. We are on an ongoing quest to seek frameworks for making a wide variety of ideas accessible. In our most recent thinking, we are focusing on the distinctions between “being, ” “doing,” and “using. ” We have begun to think of coaching in these three parallel streams. he first — being — comes from the grounding many of us have in ontological coaching and eastern philosophies — the ideas of “being,” “authenticity,” “being present to” and “being with” our clients. We encourage our students to “be” and to learn to be comfortable with just “being.” It’s very hard for most to do that!

T

The second stream, doing, has to do with the actual work of coaching. While, initially, we emphasize the being idea with our students, something has to happen in the coaching for organizations to pay us and for clients to begin to experiment with new ideas or behaviors and feel like they are getting somewhere. The third stream actually supports the first two; we are calling it the using stream. Whatever beliefs a coach has, whatever experiences a coach has, and whatever models or tools inform a coach, at some point in the coaching some or all of these will converge to afford one or several approaches or structures for a coach to work with. Students in our program work on all three streams, with particular emphasis, at least initially, on being — which is enough to drive most new coaches crazy. evelopment for coaches precedes development for their clients. Because we believe that coaches help clients “step up and into” their development, we also believe that for them to be able to help a client, coaches need to develop themselves. Assisting others in their

D

development generates an imperative for coaches to continually work on their own development. Spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, intellectually, physically —coaches must work on their own “fitness to coach.” We encourage Georgetown students to expand their body of distinctions, and to continually pursue their own growth. We are staunchly eclectic, offering students myriad concepts, ways of thinking, and ways to “be” a coach, so that they can shape their own transformation towards the future they desire. A working definition for development is that it involves learning whatever needs to be learned, so that over time, a person can create the future she or he desires. Learning, in the coaching context, emphasizes double-loop learning, or noticing the feedback that comes from engaging in a certain activity a certain way, and shifting your approach based on that feedback. When coaches are successful, clients become more skilled at double looping: noticing the feedback. They detect errors and notice when results do not match intentions, they become curious about their own role in generating the outcome, and they shift their approach, or “self-correct” based on the feedback. Now they can pursue learning or actions that increase the probability of the desired outcome “the next time.” Coaching is a craft, involving both discipline and art. The principle, “help clients become more effective at error detecting and self-correcting,” represents an example of the “discipline” aspect of coaching. It represents a generic goal to which all coaches should aspire. The “art” aspect of coaching reflects how every coach brings his or her unique “body of distinctions” to the coaching relationship, and leverages these distinctions to help clients engage in developmental work. Thus, two coaches with two distinctively different personalities and educations can both successfully help clients become better at self-correcting and error detecting, without being compelled to fit a constrained style. A coach’s entire spectrum of knowledge and experience can be offered in service to a client. Coaches deploy their “entire self” to help clients develop. And that is why being is a critical foundation to a coach’s self-knowledge and self-development.

Coaching involves both discipline and art.

“

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

”

43

therapy alliance

get to know

diagnosis and treatment plans. All of these strategies are aimed at fixing the existing problem. The client’s perspective in all of this is that you will fix him. Coaching, however, is not about fixing; it’s about creating. There is no need for a diagnostic label or even a treatment plan. The assumption in life coaching, for both the client and the coach, is that by working together the client will have greater success in planning, setting goals, and creating a healthy lifestyle. The therapist facilitates the fixing, and the coach facilitates the progress to a fulfilling life beyond the addiction. uring the initial treatment stages of addiction therapy, the therapist is the professional — the expert who fixes the problem. This power differential is difficult to overcome in any coaching relationship, since the power, from the client’s perspective, rests with the therapist. While therapy sessions may quite often be intense and sometimes even difficult, the coaching relationship is more on an equal footing. A life coach makes a conscious effort to keep the coaching relationship balanced — an active partnership.

D

Coaches recognize that their clients have the knowledge and the solutions; the coach simply helps unlock the clients’ own brilliance. Coaching sessions are typically open, often friendly, casual and even light. At appropriate times, the coach may even feel comfortable sharing personal experiences that are pertinent to what the client is experiencing. Typically, clients and coaches come to feel they really know each other on a deeper level than is common in most other professional relationships. Should the therapist also don the coaching hat? Often, the answer to this question is no! Generally, a therapist separates his or her therapy practice from any coaching practice. However, it is true that some therapists have been trained as coaches, and practice coaching techniques with many of their therapy clients. And many therapists have actually transitioned very successfully into full-time coaching. For therapists who are also coaches and practice active therapy with their clients, it is possible to move into a coaching phase with the addictive client, as long as there is a ritual ending to the therapy relationship, and coaching is begun formally and clearly. It is still best, however, for therapists to refer clients to life coaches when they have resolved their therapeutic issues and are ready to move forward with their life plans.

The therapist is the expert; the coach is your partner.

“

”

42

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Most therapists agree that to avoid a relapse, something must replace the addictive substance or situation. For those who have spent many years in and out of addictive situations, the addictions themselves create a lifestyle that is difficult to change. Often, a void is left in that person’s life that needs filling. Life coaching can help the client breach this gap with productive alternatives that may quite possibly allow her or him to reach previously unattained potentials. transition occurs in the client’s life when moving from therapy to coaching. Therapy is centered in psychoanalytic styles, pathology, process, history and the exploration of the inner world. It focuses on solutions for specific “problems.” As the client transitions to coaching, he begins to experience a broad focus on his whole person, not just the addiction. The orientation is on outcomes and action, moving from the inner world of therapy to the outer realities and possibilities of life.

A

In therapy, the vision is limited to a specific set of circumstances that have created something “bad” in the person’s life. In coaching, an unlimited vision opens up, filled with promise — the opportunity and ability to achieve dreams, leaving behind the limitations of the past. The therapist asks “why?” The coach asks “how?” The post- addictive client moves from being patient to partner with the possibility of a bright and attainable future. The gap is breached!

•

What’s Next? T

he advent of coaching has changed the post-addiction outlook for those who have reached sobriety and are looking to create lives of fulfillment and promise beyond the plateau of maintenance. If you are a therapist, you have considerable options in exploring the possibilities of using life coaching for your patients. Some therapists have moved out of the therapy profession altogether into full-time life coaching. Their formal training and education as therapists make them coaches with unique skills and background, able to co-create productive lives with their clients, as well as experience fulfillment in supporting others to live their dreams. For others, investigating the resources available in professional life coaching, and learning how to determine the appropriate time for the transition of their patients from therapy to coaching with another professional, can be an invaluable asset to their addictive patients. However you choose to incorporate life coaching into your therapy practice, this option is the logical next step for your addictive patients. It will take them beyond the twelfth step into a life of new and continuing successes.

Patrick Williams, Ph.D., MCC, is co-author, with Deborah C. Davis, of Therapist as Life Coach: Transforming Your Practice (W.W. Norton & Company).

•

In their teaching experiences, Neil Stroul, Ph.D. and Chris Wahl, M.A., discover that, when all is going well, synchronicity and creativity permeate coaching.

Being, Doing, Using A Way to Understanding Coaching A s faculty members in the Leadership Coaching Certificate Program at Georgetown University, Washington, DC, we are master coaches dedicated to “double-loop” learning. We also learn from our work, our interactions with other faculty members and our students. In fact, one of the great benefits of teaching coaching is that it is a superb vehicle for deepening clarity regarding your own practice, and drawing a clearer connection between theory and practice. As a result, our thinking about coaching, and our practice, are constantly evolving. We are on an ongoing quest to seek frameworks for making a wide variety of ideas accessible. In our most recent thinking, we are focusing on the distinctions between “being, ” “doing,” and “using. ” We have begun to think of coaching in these three parallel streams. he first — being — comes from the grounding many of us have in ontological coaching and eastern philosophies — the ideas of “being,” “authenticity,” “being present to” and “being with” our clients. We encourage our students to “be” and to learn to be comfortable with just “being.” It’s very hard for most to do that!

T

The second stream, doing, has to do with the actual work of coaching. While, initially, we emphasize the being idea with our students, something has to happen in the coaching for organizations to pay us and for clients to begin to experiment with new ideas or behaviors and feel like they are getting somewhere. The third stream actually supports the first two; we are calling it the using stream. Whatever beliefs a coach has, whatever experiences a coach has, and whatever models or tools inform a coach, at some point in the coaching some or all of these will converge to afford one or several approaches or structures for a coach to work with. Students in our program work on all three streams, with particular emphasis, at least initially, on being — which is enough to drive most new coaches crazy. evelopment for coaches precedes development for their clients. Because we believe that coaches help clients “step up and into” their development, we also believe that for them to be able to help a client, coaches need to develop themselves. Assisting others in their

D

development generates an imperative for coaches to continually work on their own development. Spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, intellectually, physically —coaches must work on their own “fitness to coach.” We encourage Georgetown students to expand their body of distinctions, and to continually pursue their own growth. We are staunchly eclectic, offering students myriad concepts, ways of thinking, and ways to “be” a coach, so that they can shape their own transformation towards the future they desire. A working definition for development is that it involves learning whatever needs to be learned, so that over time, a person can create the future she or he desires. Learning, in the coaching context, emphasizes double-loop learning, or noticing the feedback that comes from engaging in a certain activity a certain way, and shifting your approach based on that feedback. When coaches are successful, clients become more skilled at double looping: noticing the feedback. They detect errors and notice when results do not match intentions, they become curious about their own role in generating the outcome, and they shift their approach, or “self-correct” based on the feedback. Now they can pursue learning or actions that increase the probability of the desired outcome “the next time.” Coaching is a craft, involving both discipline and art. The principle, “help clients become more effective at error detecting and self-correcting,” represents an example of the “discipline” aspect of coaching. It represents a generic goal to which all coaches should aspire. The “art” aspect of coaching reflects how every coach brings his or her unique “body of distinctions” to the coaching relationship, and leverages these distinctions to help clients engage in developmental work. Thus, two coaches with two distinctively different personalities and educations can both successfully help clients become better at self-correcting and error detecting, without being compelled to fit a constrained style. A coach’s entire spectrum of knowledge and experience can be offered in service to a client. Coaches deploy their “entire self” to help clients develop. And that is why being is a critical foundation to a coach’s self-knowledge and self-development.

Coaching involves both discipline and art.

“

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

”

43

get to know

get to know

ur students, already successful leaders, human resources managers, organizational development consultants and educators, bring a wealth of experience to a coaching relationship. Yet, at first, one of their biggest hurdles is “getting” the client’s story so quickly that they discover themselves drowning in it.

O

Initially, we find them giving advice and imagining that they have provided the magic “fix” that the client has been struggling to find all along. Not only have they not understood the client in any marginally deep way, they have applied their own fix and called it a success. Meanwhile, the client thinks, “Gee, I must really be stupid if this thing is that easy to fix.” What’s missing? Lots. New coaches often get caught in doing before they are being — adopting a hero role, which means that the coaching really is all about them, not their client. How is this being of service?

Being is crucial; it’s about knowing yourself.

“

”

We often say at Georgetown, “who you be” is just as important, if not more important, than “what you do.” Being is about knowing yourself, knowing that your experience is yours alone, noticing your thinking and feeling patterns, and being competent at staying present. This is important for all coaches, because they need to know where they start and stop, and where their clients begin. This involves stepping personally into their own development first before they begin the doing of coaching. coach needs to show results; being with a client is not enough. What’s needed are purpose, goals, intention and structures to support the client’s desired future, as well as some great, purposeful conversation. We teach our students two distinctions that support the doing of coaching. One is the difference between “interesting” and “purposeful” conversations. Part of being a great coach is to know where you are in the conversation, and to be sure that you are co-creating a purposeful one aimed at the client’s desires and goals.

A

A second distinction, working “tactically” and “strategically,” allows coaches to work in real time on pressing issues as well as on longer-term issues that, overall, will make a difference in the leader’s life. Based on the goals a client has set, the coach has a general roadmap of the client’s desired future. Yet every client we’ve ever worked with has pressing issues, something that “just happened.” A coach needs to be able to find the gem in the pressing issue that can help the client get an early success as well as ground the client for future, strategic work.

“

Doing requires strategic interaction with the client now and in the future.

44

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

”

We offer several models distilled from many years of coaching experience, and we practice the doing of coaching repeatedly in class, in smaller learning groups, and with live clients with real leadership issues. This practice work culminates in two days of observations in which our students get to show us all that they have learned by coaching a client whom they’ve never met, and doing this in front of peers and master coaches.

Throughout our lives, we formulate our own unique way of “being in the world.” Prior experience becomes a container shaping what we notice, how we decide and act. To the extent we are ignorant of our own structural determinism, we are at risk for assuming that our personal truths are actually “the truth” that is applicable to everyone. Structural determinism constrains our capacity for curiosity. Thus, becoming curious as a way of being extends into curiosity about the terrain of the inner landscape, as well as being curious about how clients construct their realities.

hen coaching is moving along, the coach is not only being present to the client, the coach is also working with the client, and they are engaged in activity together. This activity is typically conversation about what the client is facing; what the client wants; what keeps the client stuck or fearful; and what experiments or reflections the client can engage in to begin to see his or her world in a new light.

W

Using engages the client to think and feel in a new way.

“

At this point the coach is using his or her “whole” self to bring new lenses to the client, to engage the client in new thinking and feeling, which ultimately result in new behaviors and desired outcomes. The coach is also using a number of tools and ways of being: listening, thinking, reflecting, inquiry, assessments, humor, presence, models, books, resources, charts, movies, music, drawings — anything necessary and available — to help the client step into his or her own development.

”

Curiosity rests on adopting a beginner’s mindset. When being truly curious, “not knowing” — ignorance — is not problematic. In fact, the opposite is true. Being truly curious allows us to be with someone, as if for the first time. We assume novelty. There is an inherent fascination with the process of exploring, of not knowing in advance the endpoint, destination or outcome.

W

You know that you know You don’t know that you know

3 4

2 1

You know that you don’t know You don’t know that you don’t know

Figure 1: A competency model

To be curious, coaches need to be aware of their own “structural determinism,” their own filters, predispositions and preferences for scanning the environment and processing information. A coach needs to know what triggers and interpretations constitute his or her personal conditioning, and fundamentally needs to be curious about these, to make them transparent, and to be able to see these as distinct from others’ interpretations.

A comparable cycle to becoming curious resembles building competence. Often, in everyday discourse, we are not sufficiently aware that the person with whom we’re conversing has led a life different from ours. We listen out of our own habits — habitual listening. However, we can at least choose to become mindful that the other person’s life is different; but that does not necessarily translate into being curious about the life they’ve led. That would be mindful listening. Nonetheless, becoming intentionally curious about the nature of the differences and asking questions might reveal to us what the other person notices and how they look at life. That is distinctive listening.

tructural determinism refers to the idea that all of us are reflections of our personal conditioning histories. A very basic example is this: If your family always ate at a round table and argued during meals, you may associate the round table with argument; but if your family ate at a round table and had fun together, you may associate the round table with good feelings. In the end, it’s just a round table! But each interpretation is a result of our personal conditioning.

S

Curious

Not Curious

Distinctive. We’re actively curious and listen for how the other person’s story differs from our own. We are able to detect the differences and seek to confirm how we are similar or different.

Mindful. We recognize that the other person is different from us. We are able to appreciate that their perspectives and concerns may be different from our own.

Appreciative. We actively listen

Habitual. We listen from "inside" our own story. There is little or no awareness that the other’s story may be different from our own.

"into" the other person’s story. We are able to detect the underlying mental modes, and are able to listen for new possibilities.

Figure 2: A listening model hile there are many ways of expressing curiosity, the most prominent involves how coaches listen. How can they expand their capacity for “listening with curiosity?” We illustrate the capacity for curiosity by comparing it to the idea of the competency model in Figure 1.

o further illustrate the framework being, doing, using (BDU™), we have taken one coaching concept, curiosity, and threaded it through the framework. Here, “curiosity,” means a way of being with clients, intimating a caring kind of inquisitiveness, the gentle pursuit of the client’s story in a spirit of inquiry. To be curious, the coach needs to stand in a kind of openness and flexibility that suggests, “I don’t know; I’d like to learn as much as I can.” This brings us back to that hurdle, which looks more like, “I know, and you need to learn as much as you can from me.” Curiosity in a coach is a lovely quality!

T

bilities that they might not perceive. This is appreciative listening, the highest form of listening with curiosity. We urge the coaches we train to strive to operate in the distinctive and appreciative (curious) modes of listening when coaching clients. (See Figure 2.)

The underlying reasoning of the competency model is that in the beginning, we are not aware of our lack of competence in a particular domain (1). Building competence begins with the awareness of not knowing (2), which will often initiate learning activity (3). With sufficient application of the new knowledge, the knowledge becomes tacit: We don’t know that we know (4). We can use the competency model as a template for understanding how one might cultivate “listening with curiosity.”

Practicing intentional curiosity develops a secondary capacity — based upon our personal and different distinctions, we might come to appreciate that, in the other person’s current frame of reference, there are possi-

inally, how might a coach use curiosity as a tool for working with clients? Consider this example: A client wanted to be seen as “more of a leader.” Curious, we asked her to talk about herself as a leader. Her ways of thinking and speaking about leadership were, in our assessment, limited, and confused with basic management. She disagreed with that assessment, but was willing to get curious, because she actually didn’t know what she did to show up as a leader.

F

As a practice, we asked her to notice how much time, over a two-week period, she spent doing “management” activities versus “leadership” ones. Was she in the details or was she focusing on the future and inspiring her team to do the same? She returned to our session with some real data that proved to herself that she was not only caught in management mode, she would end up doing some of her subordinates’ work. While we could have said to her, “as a leader you need to focus more on what is possible than on what needs doing right now,” and have her respond, “I already do that,” instead, we asked her to get curious. Her foray into curiosity led to double looping and blossomed into something bigger. She got curious about numerous aspects of leadership: how to set a vision and talk about it; how other leaders do that; how to coach and teach subordinates versus doing their work for them; how to allow herself time to think bigger thoughts and generate opportunities and possibilities, to name a few. She stepped into her own development. Our focus on being, doing, using is an accessible model for new coaches to begin their own fitness regime for coaching. When all is going well, all three of these paradigms are working in synchronous and creative ways, depending on who the coach is. And the “who” is where we start in our work with students at Georgetown.

•

Neil Stroul, Ph.D., is a senior faculty member at Georgetown University. Chris Wahl, M.A., is the Director of the Leadership Coaching Program. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

45

get to know

get to know

ur students, already successful leaders, human resources managers, organizational development consultants and educators, bring a wealth of experience to a coaching relationship. Yet, at first, one of their biggest hurdles is “getting” the client’s story so quickly that they discover themselves drowning in it.

O

Initially, we find them giving advice and imagining that they have provided the magic “fix” that the client has been struggling to find all along. Not only have they not understood the client in any marginally deep way, they have applied their own fix and called it a success. Meanwhile, the client thinks, “Gee, I must really be stupid if this thing is that easy to fix.” What’s missing? Lots. New coaches often get caught in doing before they are being — adopting a hero role, which means that the coaching really is all about them, not their client. How is this being of service?

Being is crucial; it’s about knowing yourself.

“

”

We often say at Georgetown, “who you be” is just as important, if not more important, than “what you do.” Being is about knowing yourself, knowing that your experience is yours alone, noticing your thinking and feeling patterns, and being competent at staying present. This is important for all coaches, because they need to know where they start and stop, and where their clients begin. This involves stepping personally into their own development first before they begin the doing of coaching. coach needs to show results; being with a client is not enough. What’s needed are purpose, goals, intention and structures to support the client’s desired future, as well as some great, purposeful conversation. We teach our students two distinctions that support the doing of coaching. One is the difference between “interesting” and “purposeful” conversations. Part of being a great coach is to know where you are in the conversation, and to be sure that you are co-creating a purposeful one aimed at the client’s desires and goals.

A

A second distinction, working “tactically” and “strategically,” allows coaches to work in real time on pressing issues as well as on longer-term issues that, overall, will make a difference in the leader’s life. Based on the goals a client has set, the coach has a general roadmap of the client’s desired future. Yet every client we’ve ever worked with has pressing issues, something that “just happened.” A coach needs to be able to find the gem in the pressing issue that can help the client get an early success as well as ground the client for future, strategic work.

“

Doing requires strategic interaction with the client now and in the future.

44

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

”

We offer several models distilled from many years of coaching experience, and we practice the doing of coaching repeatedly in class, in smaller learning groups, and with live clients with real leadership issues. This practice work culminates in two days of observations in which our students get to show us all that they have learned by coaching a client whom they’ve never met, and doing this in front of peers and master coaches.

Throughout our lives, we formulate our own unique way of “being in the world.” Prior experience becomes a container shaping what we notice, how we decide and act. To the extent we are ignorant of our own structural determinism, we are at risk for assuming that our personal truths are actually “the truth” that is applicable to everyone. Structural determinism constrains our capacity for curiosity. Thus, becoming curious as a way of being extends into curiosity about the terrain of the inner landscape, as well as being curious about how clients construct their realities.

hen coaching is moving along, the coach is not only being present to the client, the coach is also working with the client, and they are engaged in activity together. This activity is typically conversation about what the client is facing; what the client wants; what keeps the client stuck or fearful; and what experiments or reflections the client can engage in to begin to see his or her world in a new light.

W

Using engages the client to think and feel in a new way.

“

At this point the coach is using his or her “whole” self to bring new lenses to the client, to engage the client in new thinking and feeling, which ultimately result in new behaviors and desired outcomes. The coach is also using a number of tools and ways of being: listening, thinking, reflecting, inquiry, assessments, humor, presence, models, books, resources, charts, movies, music, drawings — anything necessary and available — to help the client step into his or her own development.

”

Curiosity rests on adopting a beginner’s mindset. When being truly curious, “not knowing” — ignorance — is not problematic. In fact, the opposite is true. Being truly curious allows us to be with someone, as if for the first time. We assume novelty. There is an inherent fascination with the process of exploring, of not knowing in advance the endpoint, destination or outcome.

W

You know that you know You don’t know that you know

3 4

2 1

You know that you don’t know You don’t know that you don’t know

Figure 1: A competency model

To be curious, coaches need to be aware of their own “structural determinism,” their own filters, predispositions and preferences for scanning the environment and processing information. A coach needs to know what triggers and interpretations constitute his or her personal conditioning, and fundamentally needs to be curious about these, to make them transparent, and to be able to see these as distinct from others’ interpretations.

A comparable cycle to becoming curious resembles building competence. Often, in everyday discourse, we are not sufficiently aware that the person with whom we’re conversing has led a life different from ours. We listen out of our own habits — habitual listening. However, we can at least choose to become mindful that the other person’s life is different; but that does not necessarily translate into being curious about the life they’ve led. That would be mindful listening. Nonetheless, becoming intentionally curious about the nature of the differences and asking questions might reveal to us what the other person notices and how they look at life. That is distinctive listening.

tructural determinism refers to the idea that all of us are reflections of our personal conditioning histories. A very basic example is this: If your family always ate at a round table and argued during meals, you may associate the round table with argument; but if your family ate at a round table and had fun together, you may associate the round table with good feelings. In the end, it’s just a round table! But each interpretation is a result of our personal conditioning.

S

Curious

Not Curious

Distinctive. We’re actively curious and listen for how the other person’s story differs from our own. We are able to detect the differences and seek to confirm how we are similar or different.

Mindful. We recognize that the other person is different from us. We are able to appreciate that their perspectives and concerns may be different from our own.

Appreciative. We actively listen

Habitual. We listen from "inside" our own story. There is little or no awareness that the other’s story may be different from our own.

"into" the other person’s story. We are able to detect the underlying mental modes, and are able to listen for new possibilities.

Figure 2: A listening model hile there are many ways of expressing curiosity, the most prominent involves how coaches listen. How can they expand their capacity for “listening with curiosity?” We illustrate the capacity for curiosity by comparing it to the idea of the competency model in Figure 1.

o further illustrate the framework being, doing, using (BDU™), we have taken one coaching concept, curiosity, and threaded it through the framework. Here, “curiosity,” means a way of being with clients, intimating a caring kind of inquisitiveness, the gentle pursuit of the client’s story in a spirit of inquiry. To be curious, the coach needs to stand in a kind of openness and flexibility that suggests, “I don’t know; I’d like to learn as much as I can.” This brings us back to that hurdle, which looks more like, “I know, and you need to learn as much as you can from me.” Curiosity in a coach is a lovely quality!

T

bilities that they might not perceive. This is appreciative listening, the highest form of listening with curiosity. We urge the coaches we train to strive to operate in the distinctive and appreciative (curious) modes of listening when coaching clients. (See Figure 2.)

The underlying reasoning of the competency model is that in the beginning, we are not aware of our lack of competence in a particular domain (1). Building competence begins with the awareness of not knowing (2), which will often initiate learning activity (3). With sufficient application of the new knowledge, the knowledge becomes tacit: We don’t know that we know (4). We can use the competency model as a template for understanding how one might cultivate “listening with curiosity.”

Practicing intentional curiosity develops a secondary capacity — based upon our personal and different distinctions, we might come to appreciate that, in the other person’s current frame of reference, there are possi-

inally, how might a coach use curiosity as a tool for working with clients? Consider this example: A client wanted to be seen as “more of a leader.” Curious, we asked her to talk about herself as a leader. Her ways of thinking and speaking about leadership were, in our assessment, limited, and confused with basic management. She disagreed with that assessment, but was willing to get curious, because she actually didn’t know what she did to show up as a leader.

F

As a practice, we asked her to notice how much time, over a two-week period, she spent doing “management” activities versus “leadership” ones. Was she in the details or was she focusing on the future and inspiring her team to do the same? She returned to our session with some real data that proved to herself that she was not only caught in management mode, she would end up doing some of her subordinates’ work. While we could have said to her, “as a leader you need to focus more on what is possible than on what needs doing right now,” and have her respond, “I already do that,” instead, we asked her to get curious. Her foray into curiosity led to double looping and blossomed into something bigger. She got curious about numerous aspects of leadership: how to set a vision and talk about it; how other leaders do that; how to coach and teach subordinates versus doing their work for them; how to allow herself time to think bigger thoughts and generate opportunities and possibilities, to name a few. She stepped into her own development. Our focus on being, doing, using is an accessible model for new coaches to begin their own fitness regime for coaching. When all is going well, all three of these paradigms are working in synchronous and creative ways, depending on who the coach is. And the “who” is where we start in our work with students at Georgetown.

•

Neil Stroul, Ph.D., is a senior faculty member at Georgetown University. Chris Wahl, M.A., is the Director of the Leadership Coaching Program. FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

45

soul of coaching

sharpening our edge

• For Leza Danly, coaching means reaching up and in to touch the numinous in her clients, to experience the divine.

Coaching, the Sacred Journey

If I had to name the biggest hurdle all my clients face, it would be giving themselves permission to live this More Real life. “Can I really let it be that easy? Can I receive for no reason? What is my value if I’m not struggling to earn it?” Accompanying our clients through the terrain of these questions becomes the sacred work of pioneering a whole new world.

hat is the essence of a coach? Throughout your coaching career, you’ve likely found yourself asking this question repeatedly. As your answers to this ongoing inquiry deepen and evolve, perhaps you’ve discovered what I have about the essence of a coach.

W

n the bigger picture, our planet is going through a thrilling evolution from a paradigm of Domination to one of Dominion. We all know and see the reality of Domination all around us, marked by fear, scarcity, control, struggle, competition, vindication, blame and the loneliness of believing we are separate from the Source of our spirituality. The world of Dominion is less visible, yet we all have times when we feel “in the flow,” connected to everything, when everything is fun, when we feel the universe loving us very personally.

I

I believe the coach is the one who helps their clients see the difference between what is real and what is illusion. If you can’t distinguish the real from the illusion in your clients’ lives, you will get caught up in coaching their circumstances. If you think your clients’ deepest motivations are to lose weight, make more money or create a tangible accomplishment, you’re likely missing the point. In effect, you have stopped seeing their “realness,” and have joined them in a futile attempt to change their illusions without changing themselves.

The role of the coach is to hold the space for this sacred journey, to be the ally and loyal champion as the client crosses the bridge from Domination to Dominion in his or her own life. As we each face and move beyond the lies of Domination to found a world of Dominion within, based on the More Real of who we are, the illusion will reflect that new reality personally and globally.

I define the “real” in my clients as their internal landscapes — emotions, beliefs, attitudes, their inner child and adolescent, the light and the dark of who they are, and other aspects of the multidimensional Self. The illusion is all the external circumstances. Yes, our clients want to create the things they desire, but not just to have them. They want to experience themselves as powerfully able to create anything they want. It’s the power, the freedom, the love, the joy, the grace and the triumph of changing that we all deeply crave.

As you embrace the commitment to remember who you really are — which requires the courage to keep on owning the parts of yourself you want to deny and loving them into wholeness — you will begin to live in the world of Dominion. Once you know something of this world, you can stand in that wisdom and invite others to cross the bridge, to share this sacred journey together.

Power is more real than victimhood.

“

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

•

Leza Danly is the founder of Lucid Living, a spiritually based coach training company.

• A successful coach is, among other things, an informed coach. So we, at choice, plan on being the means of informing the coaching community about opportunities to learn and sharpen our coaching skills at events, conferences and seminars.

Conferences • The International Coach Federation’s eight annual international conference, “A Model of Excellence,” is being held in Denver, Colorado, USA, on November 13 – 15, 2003. For details, visit www.coach-federation.org/conference/international/index.asp.

• The Tenth Annual European Mentoring and Coaching Conference is to be held on November 18 – 20, 2003 at the Robinson Executive Coach Centre, St. Noets, near Cambridge, England. For conference information, contact: David Megginson, Co-chair, European Mentoring and Coaching Council. Phone: +44 (0) 114 225 5210; Fax: +44 (0) 114 289 5268; E-mail: [email protected].

Therapists looking for coach training • If you are interested in adding coaching to your practice, consider the Institute for Life Coach Training, specifically training therapists and aligned helping professionals only, at www.lifecoachtraining.com

General information on coaching • For those looking for more information about coaching in general, for training options and professional life coaches, contact the International Coach Federation. Phone: 888-4233131, e-mail: [email protected] or visit their website at www.coachfederation.org.

• We want to hear about ways in which we can invest in our community, for example, non-profit coaching, prison coaching, coaching youth and all the ways coaching is showing up in the world. So let us hear from you, our readers, about anything that will help us keep on top of our “A” game –– sharpening our edge, so to speak!

Send your edge-sharpening information to:

[email protected]. We’d love to hear from you! Photo by Jan Tyler

46

This has been the ecstatic reality of my coaching practice for the last nine years, and I see more of my fellow coaches doing the same. It is the most fun and fulfilling work I can imagine. It continuously stretches me to receive the beauty and bounty of the Divine within my clients. This is the sacred privilege of the coach — to be both witness to and pioneer of the birth of Dominion in our precious world.

”

Once you and your clients find the place of realness, your coaching becomes more powerful and grounded. You can then move beyond the gross distinction between real and illusion and into the finer distinctions between the real and the “More Real.” For example, ease is more real than struggle. Power is more real than victimhood. Love is more real than apathy or fear. Gratitude is more real than guilt. Receiving is more real than control. Anger is more real than blame. Connection is more real than separation.

The ability to see and understand these finer distinctions allows our clients to connect with those brilliant aspects of Self as described in the often-quoted passage in one of Marianne Williamson’s books: “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” Our clients need our support to see and embrace their own divinity, to know the More Real within and claim the courage to live it.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

47

soul of coaching

sharpening our edge

• For Leza Danly, coaching means reaching up and in to touch the numinous in her clients, to experience the divine.

Coaching, the Sacred Journey

If I had to name the biggest hurdle all my clients face, it would be giving themselves permission to live this More Real life. “Can I really let it be that easy? Can I receive for no reason? What is my value if I’m not struggling to earn it?” Accompanying our clients through the terrain of these questions becomes the sacred work of pioneering a whole new world.

hat is the essence of a coach? Throughout your coaching career, you’ve likely found yourself asking this question repeatedly. As your answers to this ongoing inquiry deepen and evolve, perhaps you’ve discovered what I have about the essence of a coach.

W

n the bigger picture, our planet is going through a thrilling evolution from a paradigm of Domination to one of Dominion. We all know and see the reality of Domination all around us, marked by fear, scarcity, control, struggle, competition, vindication, blame and the loneliness of believing we are separate from the Source of our spirituality. The world of Dominion is less visible, yet we all have times when we feel “in the flow,” connected to everything, when everything is fun, when we feel the universe loving us very personally.

I

I believe the coach is the one who helps their clients see the difference between what is real and what is illusion. If you can’t distinguish the real from the illusion in your clients’ lives, you will get caught up in coaching their circumstances. If you think your clients’ deepest motivations are to lose weight, make more money or create a tangible accomplishment, you’re likely missing the point. In effect, you have stopped seeing their “realness,” and have joined them in a futile attempt to change their illusions without changing themselves.

The role of the coach is to hold the space for this sacred journey, to be the ally and loyal champion as the client crosses the bridge from Domination to Dominion in his or her own life. As we each face and move beyond the lies of Domination to found a world of Dominion within, based on the More Real of who we are, the illusion will reflect that new reality personally and globally.

I define the “real” in my clients as their internal landscapes — emotions, beliefs, attitudes, their inner child and adolescent, the light and the dark of who they are, and other aspects of the multidimensional Self. The illusion is all the external circumstances. Yes, our clients want to create the things they desire, but not just to have them. They want to experience themselves as powerfully able to create anything they want. It’s the power, the freedom, the love, the joy, the grace and the triumph of changing that we all deeply crave.

As you embrace the commitment to remember who you really are — which requires the courage to keep on owning the parts of yourself you want to deny and loving them into wholeness — you will begin to live in the world of Dominion. Once you know something of this world, you can stand in that wisdom and invite others to cross the bridge, to share this sacred journey together.

Power is more real than victimhood.

“

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

•

Leza Danly is the founder of Lucid Living, a spiritually based coach training company.

• A successful coach is, among other things, an informed coach. So we, at choice, plan on being the means of informing the coaching community about opportunities to learn and sharpen our coaching skills at events, conferences and seminars.

Conferences • The International Coach Federation’s eight annual international conference, “A Model of Excellence,” is being held in Denver, Colorado, USA, on November 13 – 15, 2003. For details, visit www.coach-federation.org/conference/international/index.asp.

• The Tenth Annual European Mentoring and Coaching Conference is to be held on November 18 – 20, 2003 at the Robinson Executive Coach Centre, St. Noets, near Cambridge, England. For conference information, contact: David Megginson, Co-chair, European Mentoring and Coaching Council. Phone: +44 (0) 114 225 5210; Fax: +44 (0) 114 289 5268; E-mail: [email protected].

Therapists looking for coach training • If you are interested in adding coaching to your practice, consider the Institute for Life Coach Training, specifically training therapists and aligned helping professionals only, at www.lifecoachtraining.com

General information on coaching • For those looking for more information about coaching in general, for training options and professional life coaches, contact the International Coach Federation. Phone: 888-4233131, e-mail: [email protected] or visit their website at www.coachfederation.org.

• We want to hear about ways in which we can invest in our community, for example, non-profit coaching, prison coaching, coaching youth and all the ways coaching is showing up in the world. So let us hear from you, our readers, about anything that will help us keep on top of our “A” game –– sharpening our edge, so to speak!

Send your edge-sharpening information to:

[email protected]. We’d love to hear from you! Photo by Jan Tyler

46

This has been the ecstatic reality of my coaching practice for the last nine years, and I see more of my fellow coaches doing the same. It is the most fun and fulfilling work I can imagine. It continuously stretches me to receive the beauty and bounty of the Divine within my clients. This is the sacred privilege of the coach — to be both witness to and pioneer of the birth of Dominion in our precious world.

”

Once you and your clients find the place of realness, your coaching becomes more powerful and grounded. You can then move beyond the gross distinction between real and illusion and into the finer distinctions between the real and the “More Real.” For example, ease is more real than struggle. Power is more real than victimhood. Love is more real than apathy or fear. Gratitude is more real than guilt. Receiving is more real than control. Anger is more real than blame. Connection is more real than separation.

The ability to see and understand these finer distinctions allows our clients to connect with those brilliant aspects of Self as described in the often-quoted passage in one of Marianne Williamson’s books: “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” Our clients need our support to see and embrace their own divinity, to know the More Real within and claim the courage to live it.

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

47

choice resource directory

impact

The Q? Basics Advantage

Our P ROFESSIONAL

Faith Fuller, Ph.D. “It is imperative to focus not only on the individual, but also on the family, organization, community, town or country the individual is embedded in.”

CERTIFICATION COURSE integrates

Success begins with foundational skills and it’s never been easier or more fun to master the basics of open-ended questions!

the philosophy, practical application and business aspects of coaching. Delivered as nine modules over nine months, the course includes:

Q? Basics by Marcy Nelson-Garrison MA CPCC



Excellent for coaches, coach training programs and clients. Exclusively at:

• According to coaches Marita Fridjhon and

COACH



2004 courses start in February, May, August and October.

Relationship

Education that makes a difference...

centreforcoachtraining.com

(800) 401-1704 Photo by Darroch Putnam

www.coachingtoys.com



four intensives (held in Portland, OR) three months of weekly tele-classes two independent study Practicums

To reserve your space in our next issue contact us at [email protected] or 416-925-6643

Advertise your business with us! At choice, we are also dedicated to helping you get the word out about your business. To advertise with us, send your ads and/or enquiries to [email protected], along with your name and e-mail address.

For choice advertising guidelines, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

Coaching: The New Frontier

o you have what it takes to be a relationship coach? Can you hold two or more clients at the same time in their own experience of “the truth” without voting? Will you sit in the fire with a CEO and her team doing relationship work in the reality of downsizing? Are you ready to coach relationships rather than have your clients just talk about it?

D

Co-active relationship coaching is an umbrella containing principles of relationship work applicable to organizations, teams, groups and partnerships — intimate as well as social and professional. Whether a coach specializes in corporate work, partnerships or social relationships, the principles and skills of relationship coaching are foundational. While the use of jargon and language may differ depending on the setting it occurs in, the principles and tools remain the same. While the traditional professions specializing in serving individuals and groups in society (such as therapy, mediation, consulting) will no doubt remain viable, a new breed of professional is called forth in response to the needs of the current market place. Increasingly, clients who have experienced the empowerment of individual coaching are asking for the same forward-looking approach to their relationships. There is now a need for relationship coaches! A co-active relationship coach is a professional, not only highly skilled in several of the above-mentioned areas, including individual coaching, but having sound academic/clinical training as well. Indeed, this area of coaching seems to have populated itself with such professionals. Relatively new, it integrates the best of consulting, therapy, the human potential movement, and sports coaching in response to the desire for individual evolution. A similar movement is afoot for relationship

coaching. It is as if society were demanding that relationship coaching move beyond diagnosis, needs assessments, and “fixing,” to the commitment and discovery of what individuals, organizations and communities are trying to give birth to. While the individual coaching paradigm is cutting edge work in a oneon-one setting, it is not particularly responsive to the system that the individual, team, or community is a part of. Co-active relationship coaching is responding to this need. The time has come to apply systems thinking to coaching, whether the recipient is an individual or a group. It is imperative to focus not only on the individual, but also on the family, organization, community, town or country the individual is embedded in.

Individual coaching leaves out critical connections.

“

”

No individual, organization or group ever exists in isolation, but is always part of a larger whole. To engage with the individual alone leaves out or ignores critical connections and interactions. To do individual work within groups and teams deprives everyone concerned of information and creativity residing in the matrix. Admittedly, the art of relationship coaching is in the ability to hold the relationship as the client, rather than as the sum of its individuals! And, yes, relationships can and should be addressed in individual work! However, by not considering all the significant players, the result will be one-dimensional only, based on “hearsay.” FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

49

choice resource directory

impact

The Q? Basics Advantage

Our P ROFESSIONAL

Faith Fuller, Ph.D. “It is imperative to focus not only on the individual, but also on the family, organization, community, town or country the individual is embedded in.”

CERTIFICATION COURSE integrates

Success begins with foundational skills and it’s never been easier or more fun to master the basics of open-ended questions!

the philosophy, practical application and business aspects of coaching. Delivered as nine modules over nine months, the course includes:

Q? Basics by Marcy Nelson-Garrison MA CPCC



Excellent for coaches, coach training programs and clients. Exclusively at:

• According to coaches Marita Fridjhon and

COACH



2004 courses start in February, May, August and October.

Relationship

Education that makes a difference...

centreforcoachtraining.com

(800) 401-1704 Photo by Darroch Putnam

www.coachingtoys.com



four intensives (held in Portland, OR) three months of weekly tele-classes two independent study Practicums

To reserve your space in our next issue contact us at [email protected] or 416-925-6643

Advertise your business with us! At choice, we are also dedicated to helping you get the word out about your business. To advertise with us, send your ads and/or enquiries to [email protected], along with your name and e-mail address.

For choice advertising guidelines, visit us at:

www.choice-online.com

Coaching: The New Frontier

o you have what it takes to be a relationship coach? Can you hold two or more clients at the same time in their own experience of “the truth” without voting? Will you sit in the fire with a CEO and her team doing relationship work in the reality of downsizing? Are you ready to coach relationships rather than have your clients just talk about it?

D

Co-active relationship coaching is an umbrella containing principles of relationship work applicable to organizations, teams, groups and partnerships — intimate as well as social and professional. Whether a coach specializes in corporate work, partnerships or social relationships, the principles and skills of relationship coaching are foundational. While the use of jargon and language may differ depending on the setting it occurs in, the principles and tools remain the same. While the traditional professions specializing in serving individuals and groups in society (such as therapy, mediation, consulting) will no doubt remain viable, a new breed of professional is called forth in response to the needs of the current market place. Increasingly, clients who have experienced the empowerment of individual coaching are asking for the same forward-looking approach to their relationships. There is now a need for relationship coaches! A co-active relationship coach is a professional, not only highly skilled in several of the above-mentioned areas, including individual coaching, but having sound academic/clinical training as well. Indeed, this area of coaching seems to have populated itself with such professionals. Relatively new, it integrates the best of consulting, therapy, the human potential movement, and sports coaching in response to the desire for individual evolution. A similar movement is afoot for relationship

coaching. It is as if society were demanding that relationship coaching move beyond diagnosis, needs assessments, and “fixing,” to the commitment and discovery of what individuals, organizations and communities are trying to give birth to. While the individual coaching paradigm is cutting edge work in a oneon-one setting, it is not particularly responsive to the system that the individual, team, or community is a part of. Co-active relationship coaching is responding to this need. The time has come to apply systems thinking to coaching, whether the recipient is an individual or a group. It is imperative to focus not only on the individual, but also on the family, organization, community, town or country the individual is embedded in.

Individual coaching leaves out critical connections.

“

”

No individual, organization or group ever exists in isolation, but is always part of a larger whole. To engage with the individual alone leaves out or ignores critical connections and interactions. To do individual work within groups and teams deprives everyone concerned of information and creativity residing in the matrix. Admittedly, the art of relationship coaching is in the ability to hold the relationship as the client, rather than as the sum of its individuals! And, yes, relationships can and should be addressed in individual work! However, by not considering all the significant players, the result will be one-dimensional only, based on “hearsay.” FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

49

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impact Co-active relationship coaching is the emergence of a unified field theory derived from systems theory, process work, quantum physics, psychology, Taoism, mediation and co-active coaching. Its development points to a paradigm shift that combines these modalities to form an integrative model for relationship coaching. What sets this type of coach apart is her or his familiarity with the principles imbedded in the unified field theory of relationship work. To be sure, relationship coaching is not for the faint of heart; it is “world” work. It represents the next level of “stepping out of the box” in service to our clients, for all coaches, regardless of niche definition.

•

Marita Fridjhon, MSW, CPCC, PCC, is a founding partner of The Center for Right Relationship. She and Faith Fuller, Ph.D., CPCC, are the co-creators of the graduate training program in Co-Active Relationship Coaching offered by The Coaches Training Institute.

• As coaching goes mainstream, its various niches become less amorphous and more defined. Wendy Johnson examines two areas of coaching, and pares down definitions to their bare necessities.

Business Coaching,

Life Coaching… What’s the Difference?

ctually, there’s quite a difference. Think of a parallel question: What’s the difference between an English teacher and a science teacher? They both hold teaching degrees, they both work with students, and they both follow lesson plans. The difference is, they meet different needs.

A

Personal coaches hold one agenda — the client’s. When contracting with a client for personal coaching, it is typically the client who pays the bill and the client who signs the contract. In contrast, when a coach is hired by a “business” and the business pays the bill, the coach now holds a second agenda. Like it or not, when it’s a business expense, there needs to be an expected return on investment. And, depending upon the sponsoring department, the expectations may vary. Human Resource professionals who hire external coaches are concerned primarily with turnover, employee satisfaction, and work and life balance initiatives. Executives who hire coaches for their leaders expect increased productivity, results and performance improvement. 50

FALL 2003 PREMIER ISSUE

Entrepreneurs who hire coaches to help them with their business expect growth, increased profits and small business expertise. While these may sound like consulting goals, they are the closest understandable expectations that a business leader has to “justifying” an expense. Business financial records, especially over the last 24 months, are being closely scrutinized. Auditors, accountants, bankers and shareholders require financial accountability and question “soft” spending. Businesses need to know “where to code” your services and how to “back it up.”

Like seeks like.

“

”

How does this emphasis on accountability change the face of traditional coaching models? It involves three skills not typically taught in coaching programs:

Measurement: Some coaching programs teach that “the client does all the work.” In Business Coaching, the coach needs documentation. The coach must be able to:

AD Sizes Trim 8 1/8” X 10 7/8” 8 1/8” X 10 7/8” 8 1/8” X 10 7/8” 8 1/8” X 10 7/8” 4 5/8” X 9 3/4” 7 1/2” X 6 3/4” 3 7/8” X 9 3/4” 7” X 4 13/16” 2 1/4” X 9 3/4” 7 1/2” X 3 1/4” 3 1/2” X 2”

Bleed 8 3/8” X 11 1/8” 8 3/8” X 11 1/8” 8 3/8” X 11 1/8” 8 3/8” X 11 1/8” 5 1/4” X 11 1/8” 8 3/8” X 7” 4” X 10 7/8” 8 1/8” X 5 1/4” 2 15/16” X 11 1/8” 8 3/8” X 3 1/2” No Bleed

Inside Front Cover Inside Back Cover Back Cover Full Page 2/3 Page (Vertical) 2/3 Page (Horizontal) 1/2 Page (Vertical) 1/2 Page (Horizontal) 1/3 Page (Vertical) 1/3 Page (Horizontal) Classified Section

FULL COLOR 4 x Rate 1 x Rate Cost US$ Cost US$ $ 2,775 $ 2,975 $ 2,475 $ 2,675 $ 3,075 $ 3,275 $ 1,725 $ 2,075 $ 1,475 $ 1,775 $ 1,475 $ 1,775 $ 1,175 $ 1,375 $ 1,175 $ 1,375 $ 825 $ 975 $ 825 $ 975 $ 200 $ 250

BLACK & WHITE 1 x Rate 4 x Rate Cost US$ Cost US$ N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A $ 1,575 $ 1,350 $ 1,375 $ 1,150 $ 1,375 $ 1,150 $ 1,075 $ 875 $ 1,075 $ 875 $ 775 $ 625 $ 775 $ 625 $ 200 $ 150

• Establish a method by which to measure progress (as defined by both the client and the business) • Track that progress • Report that progress

Expertise: Other coaching programs teach that “the client is the expert.” While business coaches hold this to be true when exploring personal effectiveness issues, they must also be able to provide some expertise as it relates to business. Claiming to be an “expert coach” tends to be more credible only if you have credentials, testimonials, publications and referrals.

Experience: And yet other coaching programs teach that “anybody can be a coach.” Businesses don’t buy that. If you are an ex-sailor turned business coach, you’d better have a strong “in” and a great elevator pitch. Like seeks like; businesses tend to hire their own — entrepreneurs seek entrepreneurial experience, Fortune 500 seek Fortune 500 experience. Businesses tend to look for coaches who know their language and political structures. While some progressive businesses have hired personal coaches, and most business coaches integrate personal coaching into their work, positioning yourself as a “business coach” requires careful consideration and a clear understanding of expectations. As the field of coaching, in general, is placed under further examination, it is critical that these distinctions be recognized.

•

Wendy Johnson, MA, CEC, CMC, is President and CEO of the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches. FULL PAGE

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Do YOU Have What It Takes? What is

coaching?

There’s nothing quite like ICF membership and an ICF coaching credential to tell the world that you have what it takes to be a successful coach. Build a thriving business in the confidence that your work is grounded in ICF Core Coaching Competencies, the most complete statement of what constitutes professional coaching available in the world today*. Call 1-888-423-3131 or email [email protected] to request your free information packet today or visit our Web site at www.coachfederation.org.

Dispelling the Myth of the balanced life

*ICF Core Coaching Competencies were developed by 65 senior ICF coaches from a broad array of training programs.

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