Stall Wars - 1.5 [PDF]

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D A L I A I U R A FA

Based on Italian tradition, folklore, history, landscapes, fiction, and pop culture, Brancalonia is a Campaign Setting for the 5th Edition of the most famous role-playing game ever. Brancalonia is a game by Acheron Games. Brancalonia and Spaghetti Fantasy are registered trademarks. All rights reserved.

Credits

project management: Samuel Marolla creative direction: Mauro Longo direction of international version: Mauro Longo editing: Masa Facchini maps and sheets: Moreno Paissan and Fabio Porfidia cover: Katerina Ladon art: Andrea Balluchi, Katerina Ladon, Andrea Macchi, Alessandro Amoruso and Moreno Paissan

layout and graphic design: Matteo Ceresa and Federica Scirea adventure: Andrea Macchi and Max Castellani design and rules development: Andrea Macchi and Max Castellani by Epic Party Games english edition translation: Alex Valenti and Max Castellani english editing and proofreading: John Marron

Brancalonia, the ENnie Award winning Spaghetti Fantasy setting for the 5th Edition of the most famous role-playing game of all time, is back with a brand-new campaign featuring the Italian satirical community Feudalesimo e Libertà (Feudalism and Freedom)! This primer you are reading, Stall Wars, is the free introduction to the first official Brancalonia game campaign, The Empire Whacks Back, created by an heroic alliance of Acheron Games, Epic Party Games, and Feudalesimo e Libertà. You can find this file, the character sheets, and any other Brancalonia downloads, in Italian and English on our Kickstarter page and on the game’s official page at www.acheron.it Brancalonia – Stall Wars contains: • An introductory description of the Kingdom of Brancalonia, reprinted from the 2020 Quickstart. • A brief presentation of the Empire of Feudalesimo e Libertà. • A complete map of the northern part of the Kingdom • The introductory job, Stall Wars, which serves to launch the campaign, with new monsters, NPCs, and dive games

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You can find Brancalonia adventures, the companion book, and other useful documents at www.acheron.it and https://bit.ly/BrancaloniaQuickstartKit

D A L I A I U R A FA

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Index Brancalonia well explained....................3 Knaves, Bounties, Bands and Jobs................................... 4 Welcome to Brancalonia...................................................8 Enter the Empire.................................................................. 10 What you will find in the campaign The Empire Whacks Back..............................................................................12 Freezing Nights and Empty Saddlebags.....................13 Moves and Whacks ...............................................................16 Slaps and Poppycock............................................................20

Stall Wars....................................................................... 22 Scene 1...................................................................................... 27 Scene 2.......................................................................................35 ☞Appendix A...................................................................36 ☞Appendix B..................................................................40

This primer is updated to the final version of the core ruleset and to match the Brancalonia - Setting Book. Even if you don't have the Brancalonia Setting Book, thanks to the basic rules of the SRD and this primer, you can get a good glimpse of Brancalonia and of what the definitive campaign will be like.

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Brancalonia Well Explained If you have never played Brancalonia before, please read here!

C Welcome (back?) to Brancalonia, a land full of pitfalls and money-making opportunities, in the most incredible and roguish Italian role-playing game you have ever participated in! Create your own band of Knaves, enlist in a free company, get yourself some well-paid jobs, and deliver a fist-and-knife buffet to those who have it coming! Once you have collected a tidy sum and somewhat climbed the ranks of your company, you’ll be ready to try your luck in one last job that could enable you to go out in a blaze of glory... After all, what could possibly go wrong?

Brancalonia is the Spaghetti Fantasy campaign setting for the 5th Edition of the most famous role-playing game of all time. A “back-to-front” version of Medieval Italy, this fantastic, fairy-tale influenced, roguish world quotes, collects and mixes contributions from contemporary and classic Italian fiction, pop culture, and collective imagery: ☞ Traditional Italian folklore and fairy tales, from Le Piacevoli Notti (The Pleasant Nights) by Straparola to the eighteenth-century Lo Cunto de li Cunti (The Tale of Tales); from Carlo Collodi’s Pinocchio to the most popular collections of folk tales of the Bel Paese.

☞ Our period movies, such as For Love and Gold (or The Incredible Army of Brancaleone) and The Profession of Arms; and international blockbusters with Medieval and Renaissance settings, like Ladyhawke, The Princess Bride, and Flesh + Blood.

☞ The chivalrous and courteous tradition, from medieval “cantari” (minstrel ballads) to Renaissance epics.

☞ Twentieth-century Italian fantasy masterpieces by writers such as Pederiali, Eco, Buzzati, and Calvino.

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Knaves, Bounties, Bands, and Jobs In Brancalonia, all playing characters are Knaves, i.e. members of a Band of mercenaries, rogues, and similar rascals, engaged in questionable Jobs across the various domains of what is left of an ancient kingdom now in ruins.

The Knaves

The world you live in is one of breathtaking adventure, heroic feats, and legendary deeds. Here, knights in shining armor lead fearless armies against terrifying enemies; skilled treasure-hunters, ready for anything, explore the forgotten basements of long-lost empires, juggling lethal traps and nameless monsters; cunning, mischievous heroines use their charm to deceive princes and merchants and steal treasures worthy of a royal ransom in one night! But you’re not one of them... you are the ones who step in when things go wrong: lazy swindlers, scoundrels of the lowest order, listless dabblers and greedy knaves. The mean, the seedy, the ugly ones. That’s you, in short. You’re the dregs of the adventure world, the cannon fodder of all battles, the scum that emerges when you scrape the bottom of the barrel, the dirty dozen that is pulled out of prison only for desperate missions. Do you find this unfair? You’re not so stupid, then... it is unfair. But let’s face it: fate has better things to do than bother playing clean with the likes of you ... Enough talking, scapegallows... it’s time to get busy!

Bounties

With all the rogues, losers and bootlickers like you out and about, the Kingdom could fill ten thousand galleys, and even wage war on the Soldan, out there in the Overseas. But lo and behold, you’re still roaming the towns and countryside, making trouble wherever you go, and no-one seems capable of putting an end to this scourge. This rabble, this throng of gallows birds, of which you are such worthy exponents, is also identified in its entirety as the Brotherhood: the network of Bands and Knaves on whose heads a bounty – large or small – was placed at some time by one of the Kingdom’s fief lords. Whatever the prize, selling a Brother to guards and bounty hunters is universally considered an unparalleled infamy, and no honorable brother would ever do it. Of course, dishono-

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rable rats are never hard to come by; even so, a Brother who hands another one over to the Guards is easily offering them a chance to collect two bounties... if you see what I mean! In short, Knaves don’t normally collect each other’s Bounties, but these are known to be highly coveted by Hunters, and Guards, at least when the game is worth the candle. The Bounties of Knaves and other characters in the game represent not only their value in money but also their reputation within the Band and among the various Bands around the Kingdom. Rules for Bounties are explained in detail in the Brancalonia Setting Book.

The Company

Rampaging freely up and down the Kingdom, acting on their own initiative or selling themselves to the highest bidder, the bands of Brancalonia are framed as companies of fortune in the pay of some avid general, petty nobleman, or vile local lord. The band which the Players’ Knaves belong to can be many things: a battered army heading for the Overseas to wage war; a traveling caravan of rovers or mountebanks; a guiscard lodge in search of a lost portent of the Draconian Age; a medley of robbers who prey on wayfarers; a contingent of deserters who fled the war to seek refuge; a well-organized mercenary company; the crew of a pirate ship; a bunch of treasure hunters; a gaggle of criminals in disarray; a brotherhood of pious friars on the trail of some ancient relic; a squad of escaped convicts; a guild of bounty hunters, reprobates, beggars or swindlers; a horde of pagans at the gates of the city; and anything else that comes to mind. In any case, ordinary people consider affiliated Knaves dangerous, annoying and ready for anything. Ideally, it’s advisable to steer clear... failing that, it’s best to befriend them. In addition to carrying out their odd Jobs, Knaves help manage their own company together with their leader, according to rules of Rollick (passive time).. The choices made at this stage improve the conditions by which the missions will then take place, and missions accomplished will improve the Band’s status. The rules for managing the Band, Notoriety and Dens are explained in detail in the Brancalonia Setting Book.

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The Band

In Brancalonia, the party of the Players’ Knaves called the Band. A Band is a close-knit, tried and tested handful of Knaves who can be sent on a mission and relied upon to perform together without murdering one another a few steps down the road. The players' Band is only one component of a company, which can count a couple, a dozen or even a few hundred. Climbing up the ranks of the company and becoming its leader is one way for a Knave to advance in the game. You will start off as third-rate scoundrels in a vile, dangerous world, clawing your way up through dirt and blood; eventually, if you prove yourself up to it, you will rise to the rank of leader of your Band and shake the thrones of kings and lords. Are you ready? Um, right: you were born ready...

The Brancalonian Job

Companies (and consequently Bands) are often hired by villagers, merchants, nobles, and warlords, for all sorts of odd jobs: generally illicit, dangerous tasks that nobody else wants. And that's on a good day... On a bad day, there are curses, demons, witchcraft, monsters, and double-dealings behind the jobs. There’s got to be a catch if people resort to Knaves, right? Bands and companies also ensure a smooth exchange of players and characters, casual play, one-off sessions and progress in rank and level.

The Condottiero and the atmosphere in Brancalonia

The Condottiero is the Game Master of Brancalonia. He is responsible for conducting game sessions and for telling what happens during the adventures. As the company leader, he offers Jobs to be carried out by the Band. More than anyone, the Condottiero contributes to maintaining the correct atmosphere around the game table by mediating between the demands, inclinations, and desires of other players. In fact, Brancalonia lends itself to many different approaches: • You can focus on military campaigns and missions with a tragicomic, bitter, raw or sarcastic tone: in this case, the company – probably a mercenary army that sells itself to the best patron around in the War of the Thousand Years – will be striving to get rich and live long enough to enjoy its accumulated treasures. • You can focus on folklore creatures, monster hunts, and fable-like stories. In this case, the atmosphere will be that of the traditional fairy tale, with adventurous expeditions, treasure hunts, magical enterprises, or even with typically rural-gothic themes. • You can focus on picaresque, rowdy and highly ironic situations, rich in pop quotes. • You can descend into a darker world, all intrigues, political plots, murders, and decadence, or even venture into grimdark, low fantasy and grand-guignolesque scenarios. • You can take to sea with corsairs and creatures of the abyss, sailing the Sea of Sapphire, ​​ the Charybdeans or the Murky Sea, to plunder and be plundered by pirates infesting such waters.

“Life is like a bowl of soup in a dive: you never know what your going to get." - Sor Foresto de'Gonzi, tavernkeeper -

• You can experience more chivalrous stories of brigandage, resistance, dynastic intrigues, and lofty ideals. What if an heir to the Kingdom’s throne were hiding among the thieves? • You can indulge in the surreal and the fantastic, delving into the more supernatural and fantastical aspects of the setting, or imparting some magical realism typical of so many twentieth-century Italian authors. Within the Campaign Setting Book, all these ingredients have been dosed to our personal taste: in your games, you, the players, will decide which to use and which to leave out. The important thing is that the Condottiero and the Knaves always agree on what is about to happen in your Brancalonia!

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Stall Wars

Welcome to Brancalonia The adventures of Brancalonia Knaves take place in what its inhabitants refer to as simply "the Kingdom; after all, what the Chancellor of the Emperor of Altomagna stated is true: "the so-called Kingdom" doesn’t really exist! The territories of the Brancalonia Peninsula and neighboring islands are but a minor possession of the Empire of Altomagna, ceded to Queen Menalda of Catozza as a vassalic benefit a hundred years ago and never recovered, even after the dynastic line of the Catozzi was broken by intrigues, plots, and a dozen suitors. The Bounty mentioned by Pomponius was for the head of Buemondo the Fat from Aurocastro, who – from the bottom of the “bad boot” peninsula – had set up a confederation of bandits, lords, and brigands. These villains raged from Piccadora to Falcamonte, assaulting each and every imperial army and refusing to pay taxes, tithes, and levies.

“The so-called Kingdom is merely a geographic expression!” - Clemens Pomponius, Chancellor of Altomagna -

Stall Wars In exchange for the head of Buemondo, said to weigh eighty pounds, Menalda was given the regency of the Kingdom on behalf of the Emperor. A century has gone by: the entire peninsula has eluded Altomagna’s control – and no-one is keen to reclaim it, until now! With the Iron Crown of Menalda gone missing and the succession’s heraldry undecided, the Kingdom is now split into over a dozen independent regions; in turn, these are fragmented into local potentates, fiefdoms, counties, villages, marches, duchies, baronies, alliances, knighthoods, municipalities, and commercial leagues; not to mention the uncertainty of the domains’ boundaries, and surrounding no-man’s-lands... Given the wide variety of themes and tones that can be used when playing Brancalonia, each of these regions can be the scene of odd jobs and situations with a highly specific atmosphere. Here is a quick overview.

Quinotaria, or of Ancestral Ruins, Sea Monsters, and Gorgons

Legend has it that Quinotaria is the place where, centuries ago, a mythical beast called Quinotaur crawled out of the waters and mated with the wife of the distant King Clodion of Overmountain, of whom the current rulers of Quinotaria are thought to be the remote descendants. The coast and valleys of this region are dotted with ancient ruins of unknown origin, similar to the cyclopean ones found further south along the boot. The most disturbing rumors about these lands regard the dracians, a deformed and amphibian-like people said to live along the coast; the gorgons, unnatural beings descended from the Quinotaur; and the Signs, abominable bodily deformations reputedly marring some of the inhabitants and giving them unspeakable powers. Although not the capital, the most important city in the region is Lungariva, ruled by very wealthy merchants.

Falcamonte, or of Knights, Gobbolini, and Brigands

The lands of Falcamonte are harsh and wild, with occasional glimpses of rich and fertile views. The capital of the region is Tauringa, where the royal seat was repeatedly placed; consequently, the city and its surroundings teem with landed gentry and town nobility of all sorts, old knighthoods gone to seed, brave cadets full of ideals, swordsmen in search of recruitment, very wealthy winemakers, scheming courtiers, and decadent aristocratic families. Every forest and noman's-land is infested with robbers and bandits, thieves and marauders, keen to return to the poor (including themselves) what was purloined by barons and princes of the blood. Last but not least, the gobbolini, a veritable plague of this region, lurk in gorges and caves at the foot of the mountains, attacking and insulting anyone who passes within their range.

Galaverna, or of Merchants, Mountebanks and guiscards

While Falcamonte is home to ancient and impoverished aristocracy, the neighboring Galaverna is the land of merchants, moneylenders, entrepreneurs and companies of fortune. Everything has a price, honor is non-existent, and profit and

interest reign throughout the villages and countryside. Many gold coins flow around these parts, and parochial rivalries abound. The Greats of Galaverna eye one other grimly from the battlements of their respective towers, while their skilled and greedy mercenary armies sell themselves to the highest bidder, changing sides as others change their underwear. This area is also renowned for its many workshops, factories, and craftsmen; for its alchemy, pyrotechnics, and watchmaking; and for the affected ways ​​ of its ladies. Here, companies of mountebanks, musicians, and conmen draw crowds in the squares and courtyards, and wizards, charlatans, charmers, healers, and Guiscards earn their living as theater actors and operetta sorcerers, or as genuine experts of arcane arts.

Vortigana, or of Sequins, Sailing Ships, and Stabbings

Probably the largest region in the Kingdom, Vortigana is entirely the domain of the powerful merchant city of Vortiga, so called because of the whirlpools (vortici) and currents that stir its waters. Ruled by a lugubrious council of wealthy tycoons, Vortiga is also famous for its masks, intrigues, and Carnival. The’s city long fingers reach across an ample stretch of the Murky Sea as far as Sidonia, including the islands of Callista and Tasinnanta. This merchant opulence, whence thousands of gold coins pour yearly into the Grand Council’s coffers, is countered by the constant siege of pirates and corsairs along the routes of its sailing ships; the rivalry of barbarians and Tergesta refugees; the presence of thieves and murderers, of gifted and beggars along its streets; the infestation of bandits, pagans, heretics, benandantes (good walkers), and supersticians in its vast hinterland. The mainland domains are also a point of passage favored by fugitive gangs, marauders, deserters, spies, troublemakers and disbanded armies from Altomagna, as well as the homeland of choice of many mysterious and extraordinary beings, such as sylvans, fanes, morgants, and magical creatures from the north.

Pianaverna, or of Mists, Witches, and Pagans

Pianaverna extends south of Vortigana, Falcamonte, and Galaverna, and is formally ruled by the Greats of the latter. This is a foggy and depopulated land, traversed by the largest river in the Kingdom, the Fossa (Pit), and by all its tributaries. Swampy, mephitic, haunted by wretches, bandits, and fugitives, Pianaverna is scattered with tiny hamlets as well as a few villages of a certain importance, all infested with scores of mercenary companies and small armies of fortune. This is also the seat of old legends, forbidden sorcery, and very ancient creatures: here, horrid hags and monsters of the rivers, fugitives and wanted men, malebranches and bavalisks have their hiding places. Part of the region is occupied, a no-man's-land home to one of the largest confederations of pagan tribes in the Kingdom. The area is frequented by hermits, monks, itinerant priests, preachers, and miraculists, seeking to bring the Light of the Saints among the heathens inhabiting these parts.

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Enter the Empire If you don't know anything about Feudalesimo e Libertà, please read here! Hail Cohort! If you are reading these lines, it means you have thus far lived in sin, ignoring the decrees of the Emperor, or perhaps that you need reminding of your convictions lest you incur public shame or even worse forms of torture. Feudalesimo e Libertà - aka ‘Feudalism and Freedom’, FEL - is the Italian (satirical?) political party of The Emperor, the one and only direct descendant of Charlemagne – heir to the Aquisgrana throne – whose divine right it is to rule over all European lands, and hold power over an Empire on which the sun never sets. Today, however, European populations have been swindled by the ridiculous theatrics of demo(n)cracies, have traded the stability of serfdom for the free market, subtracted luxuries and wealth from noble families to extend false rights to the plebeian masses, the likes of voting and assembly, and worst of all, they have neglected the Ghibelline faith, prefering to follow the bland, weak party of the Popefollowing Guelphs. On this stage of degeneration of human progress, whose peak was only reached during the golden era of the Middle Ages, FEL rises as the only solution, aiming to re-establish the sole financial system that will return Europe to the splendor of times gone by, one too harshly judged by history! Feudalism and Freedom is an online community born in Italy, initially as a humorous Facebook page, which now counts over 700k followers and fans. FEL suggests a bizarre return to the past, offering feudal solutions to contemporary problems that modern society is having a hard time solving. The economy, jobs, development, healthcare, education, and justice system; FEL has created a full political program to address it all. Here are some examples: Coin: why stressfully ponder over investments and speculation, inflation and stimuli, when all could be solved by returning to the gold standard? FEL suggests the abolition of money, no more than a waste of paper, and a return to the use of gold coins, the only medium which guarantees economic stability. Said minting would only be available, of course, to noble individuals, the only people worthy of

holding a handful. The plebeian masses will have to concern themselves solely with their own survival. Systems such as trade, markets, and tithes will be enough to ensure the necessary exchanges of food and tools. Labor is in dire need of reform. Too much unemployment, too many people lazing about, clogging the streets and lengthening lines at the DMV. FEL proposes making unemployment a crime, making work compulsory for everyone (excluding the nobility, of course). Every pleb, should they want to fill their belly, will have to invest their efforts into de-stoning, plowing, and sowing fields, toiling from dawn to dusk (a little less in winter, a little more in summer), to ensure the land assigned to them bears good fruit. Tasks will also need reforming, abandoning all positions that require the use of electronic abacuses or motorized contraptions, to reinstate positions such as chamberlain, inquisitor, corpse carrier, page, ditch-digger, human step for carriages, horse messenger, butcher, the Duke’s personal soup blower, and leech-breeder, among others. FEL has spared nothing on healthcare in these years, providing solutions that finally agree with all those who complain that modern medicine is made up mostly of charlatans. By rejecting 300 years of heresy and medical terrorism – which have lead human life to become tedious, as it is too long and healthy – FEL proposes a radical overhaul of the medical profession. Perfect knowledge of medical flora and the Bible will be compulsory requirements for those wanting to practice the trade, as flowers, shrubs, and animal derivates will be the basis for all common medication. Purulent boils will be medicated with applications of bovine urine, sore throats with nettle infusions, dry skin with compresses of lard and carob oil, the habit of listening to loud music in the street with a wooden stick to the side, and pant hem curls with ankle amputation. In the remote eventuality of the cures not having the desired effect, there will always prayers to Our Lord, a viable solution for the likes of the Black Death or other pestilences, aided by forced isolation, lazarus pits, and leper bells.

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Stall Wars

FEL’s political program expands far beyond the above, but it is easier to sample the Emperor’s resolve within Brancalonia itself. Foreign policy in particular, as too many lands have been left to their own insufficient devices, far from the Imperial throne, and which require the steady hand of the Emperor to soothe restless spirits. Join us then, and fill the ranks of the invincible landsknecht army, which has now reached the Sinister Boot. The Empire is about to whack back: which end of the stick do you choose?

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Stall Wars

What you will find in the campaign The Empire Whacks Back The Empire Whacks Back is the first official game campaign for Brancalonia – The Spaghetti Fantasy RPG

Playing Stall Wars and The Empire Whacks Back without any other manual

This new, standalone expansion (you don’t need other Brancalonia publications to play this one) is a hardcover handbook of around 180 richly illustrated full-color pages, with maps, characters, antagonists, monsters, and other images evocative of the Bounty Kingdom.

This booklet and the entire The Empire Whacks Back campaign have been designed to be played and used without needing any other official Brancalonia material or manuals, though you will still need to be familiar with the 5e rules.

The book will feature: • A description of the northern regions of the Kingdom and their Free Cities, with secrets, menaces, curiosities, places of interest, rumors, game hooks, and new ideas for your gaming sessions. • A general presentation on the Altomannic Empire, its rulers, secrets, and armies. • A complete map of the northern part of the Kingdom • A new, original, war-themed campaign, consisting of 10 linked adventures. • New Backgrounds, new Dive Games, new Grandluxuries, new Equipment, new Spells, and new Magical Junk for all Knaves. • 20+ new monsters and antagonists typical of Italian history, tradition, and folklore

If your wish is simply to whack some things in support of the Emperor, or against Him, you will be able to do so by simply following all the information included in this booklet and the final campaign book. If, instead, you’d like to find out more about the setting and secrets of Brancalonia’s Spaghetti Fantasy, all books can be found on the www.acheron.it website, in stores across Italy, on Amazon, and most online stores.

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Freezing nights and empty saddlebags Rules and variants to be used in Brancalonia

Shoddy Equipment

In Brancalonia, everyday objects come at the normal cost, as per common price lists. However, Knaves are generally short of money, and poor-quality equipment is all they can afford; Shoddy items and services are badly crafted and offered by crooks and scoundrels. They have an unreliable appearance, uninviting taste or ambiguous smell, and they always look ready to fall apart on first use. indeed, poor equipment costs way less than standard-quality gear (usually a tenth of the price).

Objects and Tools

When using shoddy objects or tools, you always run into inconveniences. From time to time, and depending on the item being used and on the situation, the Condottiero can choose which effects to apply; also, if any check involving poor equipment fails by 5 or more, the object will break.

Weapons

When you attack with a shoddy weapon, if the d20 roll is a 1, the weapon comes apart. All your subsequent attacks are made with disadvantage. This effect lasts until you use an action to fix the weapon.

Armor

Shoddy armors fall apart, literally. Whenever an enemy hits you and the d20 roll is a 20, a piece of armor flies away and the base Armor Class provided by the shoddy armor decrease by 2. If you hold a shield, it will be the first to fly out of hand. The effect lasts until you retrieve the lost pieces and use an action to fix them.

Horses, mounts e animals

When making a check with shoddy mounts, if the d20 roll is a 1, the animal will get crippled and will no longer be able to proceed, for 24 hours. A shoddy mount also has a 10 ft lower speed than a typical animal of the same type.

Shoddy Magic

Magical components are expensive and rare. That's why those in the Kingdom capable of casting spells and miracles usually employ a poor version of actual magic. This often leads to accidents and weird effects, which have affected the reputation of magic, accused of unpredictability and oddity, as well as quackery, the prerogative of beggars, operetta wizards, and country superstitious. The effects of shoddy components and materials affect the spells' appearance, but not on their practical functioning. For example, a familiar summoned with poor-components may have a funny or grotesque appearance; a fireball could smell of rotten eggs.

All the rest

For all the things that are not listed above, shoddiness manifests itself in countless different ways, and it's hard if not impossible to create an effect for every situation. When a character uses a shoddy-whatever, the Condottiero can use one of the following effects accordingly to the situation and the object involved: Small incident. A funny inconvenience with no consequences. Difficulty increase. If a check must be made, its DC will increase or decrease unfavorably. Malfunctioning. Shoddiness leads to an unexpected malfunctioning. Damaged. After being used, the item becomes damaged and needs to be repaired before it can be used again. Not working. Not working. If the item is consumable or has a limited number of uses (for example: vials of acid, flasks of holy water, or a healing potion), roll 1d6: on a roll of 4 or higher the item functions normally, otherwise the item reveals itself as a bad imitation and it's useless or wasted. Annoying inconvenient. An unfortunate inconvenience, such as a quiver leaking 1d4 ammunitions carried during travel, or as having the rations soaked and inedible due to a water infiltration in the boat while crossing the river.

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Counterfeit Equipment

The Kingdom is well-known for its counterfeit goods: forged documents and fake coins are almost more popular than real ones, bogus relics and works of art have entirely dedicated retail and wholesale markets, the capital of Alazia itself, Porto Patacca, takes the name from the rip-offs served to naive travelers (pataccas), and any object or service that appears in the game can be counterfeit. The counterfeit equipment has 3 key features: • It always seems very convenient: in fact, a counterfeit item generally costs the 50% less than the corresponding object, according to the official price lists. To any doubtful question of buyers, the sellers often try to justify themselves by saying that it has been regularly stolen or it's "second-hand" (which is the same thing). But that's hardly ever true: it's simply counterfeit! • It looks like common equipment: counterfeit equipment does not cause any malus to social reactions like poor-equipment. • It works like shoddy equipment: apart from the aforementioned malus to social reactions, counterfeit equipment shares the same issues and causes the same disadvantages as the shoddy version of the same items.

Rest

Among the many game variations used in Brancalonia, the Gritty Realism variant for Rests is essential. In Brancalonia, the Short Rest lasts 8 hours, and the Long Rest 7 days.

Currency and Costs

There are many currencies, ancient coins, chicken feed and items of exchange circulating up and down the Kingdom’s cart tracks. Those wishing to avoid any hassle should always use the monetary system in the official rules: gold, silver and copper coins with fixed purchase values and price lists. Call them with the name of the metal they’re made of, and you’ll be fine. Keep in mind that no one in the Kingdom has the faintest idea what platinum is: as for electrum, they wouldn’t even know how to pronounce it. Brancalonia replaces electrum with iron, which has the same value. In general, the least-valuable coins are made of copper and are only good for buying eggs at the market. These are generically known as quatrins, coppers, or piccioli (in Zagara, for example). 10 quatrins (CP) are worth 1 silver coin (SP). The most important and common exchanges are made in silver coins, and each region of the Kingdom has its own mintage. In the Kingdom of the Two Scyllas they are called taralles; florins, triskeles and sequins in Torrigiana, Quinotaria and Vortigana respectively. Marks is the name they go by in Spoletaria, sesterces in Alazia, bissones in Galaverna and Pianaverna, and lire in Falcamonte. Whatever their name, the weight and value of these coins is roughly the same. As we were saying, the electrum is replaced by the iron piece (IP). 5 silver coins correspond to 1 iron hunk. If you find this strange, you obviously haven’t seen the coins: silver and gold ones are small and thin, while iron ones are as large as medals; given their considerable weight, hunks are also called petechins. Finally, we have gold coinage, commonly called aureos or big pieces (GP). Some cities mint sequins and florins of gold, others use weights and units from the old Draconian Empire or other minting. Again, 1 gold piece is roughly worth 10 silver coins. Are you totally confused? Not to worry: so is everyone in the Kingdom!

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Stall Wars

Moves and Whacks Introduction to Brawling Rules

With his worn and crumpled clothes and a freshly-swollen face, he could not wait to spend some of the considerable swag that he and his men had just earned, sacking the haunted sanctuary atop Colle Ramino. Drain a couple of mugs, taste the seafood specialties of the renowned inn overlooking the lagoon, and finally have a peaceful sleep on a proper bed – these were the thoughts of the Wandering Knight of the Short Breath Band, the first to cross the shabby wind-doors of the Lobster Inn. Unfortunately, even before the alluring aroma of grilled fish ever reached his longing nostrils, a fir-wood stool – missing one leg – whistled across the room. It hit him hard. He wasn’t yet back on his feet when his Knaves stepped over him, drooling, delivering slaps and punches, screaming and shouting, brandishing mugs as swords and hoisting trays as shields. Without a second thought, the Knight leaped onto a rickety table, whispering a prayer through clenched teeth to Santa Flammetta from Fioraccia, and lunged into the void ... With bewildered glances, those beneath him realized too late that they would not see the end of that scuffle.

Brancalonia has specific mechanics for the management and resolution of nonlethal fights called Brawls. Said Brawls are carefully thought out to act as boisterous and amusing intervals. They can be used to start an adventure, animate slower moments, enliven a Job with unusual challenges, or simply as a fun alternative to ease the stressful pace of the deadly fights that can put the Band to the test. The rules for Brawl in this chapter are a temporary and simplified version of the final mechanics in the Setting Book. They are explained here as a demo, although perfectly playable in their own way.

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Stall Wars

How to Brawl Being non-lethal disputes by definition, Brancalonian Brawls are regulated by simple rules that replace the typical cycle of combat. A Brawl basically works like combat, but introduces significant differences regarding the actions you can take at each turn, and how Hit Points, Damage and Movement are calculated. Note: During a Brawl, you cannot use class privileges such as Class Spells, Extra Attacks, etc., but you are allowed to take advantage of passive Features such as Unarmored Defense, Sense of Danger, etc. Movement. On their turn during the Brawl, brawlers can move an unspecified distance: this enables them to move as much or as little as they like within the Brawl’s environment. If the movement of your brawler is 0, he or she cannot move. Damage. Beatings, Moves, and Props deal Whacks and, in some cases, Conditions (see Whacks Levels and Conditions below). Conditions inflicted or suffered during a Brawl last until the start of the character's next turn. In case of critical hit, the number of Whacks inflicted is doubled.

Racial Powers

Each Brancalonian race has a specific Brawl Racial Power: Morgant: a morgant can use an Epic Prop with a bonus action. Human: a human has an additional Move Slot. Gifted: The gifted can choose 1 Move also from the Magic Moves list when selecting Moves at first level. Marionette: a marionette can use as a Prop one of its limbs as a bonus action: this will not break during use. Sylvan: a Sylvan is immune to effects suffered at the first two Whack levels.

Whack levels and conditions

During a Brawl, Damage from Beatings, Moves and Props deal 1 or more Whacks. Whacks are measured in 6 levels (see table on the next page). If an already-Whacked creature suffers another Whack, its current level of Whacks increases by the amount specified in the effect's description.

B To the brawl, with honor

The culture, the rules of honor between scoundrels and rogues, and even the legislation in force in the various domains of the Kingdom establish scrupulous practices for Tavern Brawls. “Neither for copper nor hunger, let the blades hit in anger.” A Brawl is a non-lethal fight, and must remain so. If blood were spilled or death brought to the street or into a tavern, the bloody fight would immediately escalate from mere “breach of the peace” (which nobody really cares about), and branded as murder or attempted murder, and Bounties on the heads of Knaves held accountable would rise dramatically. A Brawl is a Brawl, and there must never be any killing. For this reason, participants must never use their weapons or, more generally, strike to kill. “As taught by good ole manners,

Conditions.

losers pay damages to

Some Moves and hits with Epic Props inflict additional conditions. Conditions imposed by Moves and Props follow the normal rules of Conditions. All effects last until the end of the next turn. Brawl Table 1

Bruised

-1 CA

2

Beaten

-1 CA

3

Injured

-1 CA

4

Damaged

-1 CA

5

Crushed

-1 CA

6

Unconscious

Flat Out

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shabby taverns.”

As also provided by the law, Brawl rules sanction the convention by which, at the end of a Brawl, anyone found unconscious inside the inn (or similar establishment) or within ten steps of it, may be stripped of their possessions by the landlord, entitled to compensation for damages caused during the Brawl.

Stall Wars Beatings

Beatings are the regular attacks that each character (or PC) can make as an action during a Brawl. Each player character is competent in Beatings (attack roll: Strength bonus + proficiency bonus). Each time a Beating hits, it deals a Whack.

Moves

Moves can have various effects, some of which provide an attack roll based on a specific Ability (indicated in brackets). Each character is competent in every Move he knows. A character can only use a limited number of Moves before resting (Short Rest). Every time your character uses a Move, he or she expends a Move Slot. Pre-generated character sheets are complete with assigned Moves and Moves Slots. When you finish a Short Rest, you recover all Moves Slots expended during Brawls, and any Whacks suffered.

Stage Props

You can also inflict Beatings by using anything you can get hold of within the environment in which the Brawl takes place. All objects that can be wielded during the Brawl are called Stage Props (or Props) and are divided into Common Props and Epic Props.

Common Props

(bottles, pots, cutlery, dishes, candelabra, torches, flasks, stools, pokers...) Collecting a Common Prop requires a bonus action (each character can use a bonus action during the Brawl). You can use a Common Prop to attack, as a bonus action, or for improvised defense (AC +2), as a reaction. After use, a Common Prop will be destroyed or useless.

Stray Dangers

Stray Dangers are additional effects that the Condottiero can decide to include during the Brawl. All Brawlers (PCs and NPCs) must achieve a successful saving throw against the Stray Danger in progress or suffer the consequences described in the Stay Danger description. Examples of Stray Dangers that can be used in the Brawl during the Job included in this starter set: • Rain of Stools: Each Brawler must succeed in a Constitution saving throw (DC 11), or be stunned. • House of the Flying Punches: Each Brawler must succeed in a Strength saving throw (DC 12), or suffer a Whack. • River of Beer: Each Brawler must succeed in a Dexterity saving throw (DC 13), or become Prone.

Opponents

Drunk yokels looking for trouble, vicious bands of wranglers, bandits waiting for the right fool to toughen their knuckles on, tipsy guards on leave looking for a fist-fight. The Kingdom’s Taverns always overflow with the worst thugs and brawlers, and while some of them will drop like flies under the Knaves’ storm of slaps, others will hold their own and give them a hard time. Opponents in a Brawl are divided into two categories, Heavy-Hitters and Mob. The Heavy-Hitter is a single powerful individual, usually at the head of a large bunch of brawlers. The Mob, on the other hand, is a group of individuals who act separately but share the same Whacks levels (Conditions are applied individually).

Epic Props

(tables, barrels, decorative armors, chests, trunks, chandeliers, characters ...) Collecting an Epic Prop requires an action. You can use an Epic Prop to attack, as an action, or for improvised defense (AC +5), as a reaction. After use, an Epic Prop will be destroyed or useless. When using an Epic Prop, you can choose to inflict one of the following effects: • 2 Whacks • 1 Whack and the target is stunned • 1 Whack to two different targets • The target is Paralyzed

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“Lions in the evening, asses in the morning" - Very famous saying used by the venture captains, inspectioning their weakling troops -

Stall Wars

Slaps and Poppycock Introduction to Dive Games

Each participating character places on the table the same jointly-agreed bet, then the game starts.

From north to south, the whole Kingdom is strewn with – and, for the most part, blighted by – taverns, inns, hostels, wine shops and hovels of various (and mostly dubious) worth. In game terms, they are collectively called Dives, which is indicative of their level of refinement... Between jobs with the Band, the best things to restore a Knave’s body and soul are a bowl of slop and a little wine, the buzz of auctioneers and singers, a nap by a warm fireplace, a little company for the night. However, what really make a self-respecting Bounty Brothers’ Den are its games and pastimes: their assortment of competitions, large and small, to make a bit of money, drive out boredom, and have a laugh or two at the expense of dorks and drunkards. Two of the most popular are the card game Minchiate, or Poppycock; and Barrel Beating, which, with a little luck, can help an honest Knave fill his purse with jingling coins!

1. Each participating character chooses 2 abilities, representing his or her approach to the game, with which to perform an ability check. Here are some examples: • Investigation (INT): make an accurate calculation of the probabilities by monitoring the results of the cards; • Insight (WIS): unveil opponents' bluffs; • Deception (CHA): bluff; • Sleight of hand (DEX): attempt at cheating [failure causes the betting plate to increase by an additional amount at the expense of the cheat, unless he or she leaves the game].

You will find other dive games described in the Brancalonia Setting Book and in The Empire Whacks Back.

Poppycock (card game – gambling)

2. Ability checks: at the Poppycock table, each ability check DC is equal to 10, + 1 for each player (including the one doing the checks). 3. Each successful ability check results in an increase in each player's Win Roll, as follows:

The Poppycock (aka Minchiate) card deck was born in Torrigiana, home to some of the most experienced and prestigious card players in the whole Kingdom. Poppycock is, in fact, a deck of cards used for various games, though it owes its popularity to the one it is named after..

0 successes = 1d6; 1 successes = 1d8; 2 successes = 1d10.

The recipe for the perfect Brancalonian gambling experience requires a number of ingredients: luck, a quick hand, intuition, acumen, a sharp eye, but also... some skilled cheating! Indeed, in Poppycock – designed for rabble of the most sordid kind – cheating is an essential and regulated part of the game, providing the cheater is smart enough not to be discovered: if caught, the gambler must fill the “Cover” (betting plate, table stake) with an additional fee or leave the table.

4. The Win Roll balances the Knave’s skill at the table and the Saints' will. 5. The player who scores the highest result on his or her Win Roll wins the game and takes the money.. In the event of a tie, the winners share the plate.. or, more often than not, start a Brawl!

How to play:

For a quick game of Poppycock in a Brancalonian session, the Condottiero and players can follow the rules below, simulating about one hour of play at the dive table:

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Stall Wars

The Knave's Gambit

Knight's Wrestling One of the most challenging moves in the game, the player attempts to knock the opponent to the ground while they’re seated at the table by making a Strength (Athletics) check. On a success, the opponent has disadvantage in their next move, and both players take a whack.

"The Awesome Amusement of the Knave's Gambit” is a new playful activity that's garnering rave reviews throughout the Kingdom. In this skillful mixture of strategy and slaps, two players face off as condottieri (leaders) of their two bands of carved pawns placed on a chessboard, in a game where a thunderous slap is going to mark every failure.

How to Play

Two players sit at a narrow table with a chessboard on which they place two rows of pawns of different colors and shapes. Players challenge each other using the special moves mentioned in “Step 2 - Move”. The DC of the moves equals 10 + the opponent’s Intelligence and Wisdom modifiers, minus the opponent’s number of whacks suffered. On a failed check, the player who made the move takes a slap they can’t dodge (under penalty of disqualification and loss of dignity), thus taking a whack (see page 18). In addition, each player gets a Gambit Die, initially starting from a d8. For each failed ability check, the Gambit Die will decrease by one category; for each successful ability check, the Gambit Die will increase by one category, as shown below. d4 - d6 - d8 - d10 - d12

Phase 1 - Stealing the white

In the first phase, players have to try and catch the White, that is a white pawn placed in the center of the board, which will determine who starts playing first. Both players roll for initiative. If a character is proficient with Sleight of Hand, they can add their proficiency bonus to the initiative roll.

Phase 2 - Move

In this phase, players attempt to increase the value of their Gambit Die. To do this, starting with the player who stole the White, they can make one of the following moves: Discovery Attack The player tries a quick and well-calculated move by making an Intelligence (Investigation) check. On a success, the player gains advantage on their next move. Granny's Gambit The player attempts a bluff by making a Charisma (Deception) check. On a success, the opponent has disadvantage in their next move.

Zagarian Defense The player, pretending to make a mistake with their move, tries to replace some pieces on the chessboard by taking advantage of the violent momentum of the opponent slapping them. With a successful Charisma (Deception) check, the opponent’s Gambit Die decreases by 1 category, but the player suffers a whack as if they failed. King's Sacrifice The player tries to get one of their essential pieces eaten in order to break the opponent’s play by making a Wisdom (Insight) check. On a success, the opponent’s Gambit Die decreases by 2 categories, and the player’s die decreases by 1 category. Slapmate! The player can try the slapmate in an attempt to close the game. The player rolls their Gambit Die and adds their Intelligence and Wisdom modifiers to the roll. If the result is equal to or greater than the DC of the opponent’s moves, the player wins the game; see Phase 3 - End of the Game.

Phase 3 - End of the Game

If one of the players takes a slapmate or 6 whacks, they lose the game, and the opponent is proclaimed Master of Gambit. Predictable moves. Given the strategic nature of the game, repeating the same move twice in a row is predictable and therefore is done at a disadvantage. "A Monte!". Often, players can’t stand losing a game and may decide to end a match prematurely, with an unregulated slap. In this case, a player can choose, at any time, to try and hit the opponent with a beating, shouting “a monte!” and starting a Brawl. In this case all whacks accumulated during the Knave’s Gambit will be counted as suffered whacks at the beginning of the Brawl.

Knave's Fork Pretending to be caught by a sudden hunger, the character attempts to throw a fork at their opponent and must make a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check. On a success, both players take a whack.

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Stall Wars

Stall Wars

An introductory job set in Galaverna for a band of 3-4 rookie Knaves (1st level), written by Max Castellani, Mauro Longo, and Andrea Macchi

A long time ago, in a Kingdom far, far away… It is a time of civil war in the north of the Bounty Kingdom. Rebel cities and local Dukes have refused to pay their fees and tithes and have won their first victories, military and diplomatic, against the Altomannic Empire. The Emperor has gathered vassals, knights, and landsknechts to descend upon the Pagan Plain and remind the locals of their place, in a forceful display of pigheadedness. Following the army, along with diplomats and commanders, is the Imperial daughter, Princess Beatrice Faconda Anguillelia of Acquisgrana, also known as Lelia, whom the Emperor intends to wed to a local northern noble to redefine terms of peace and alliance. Should these attempts at peacekeeping fail, the inevitable result is, of course, all-out WAR throughout the Kingdom. The Princess, however, has been missing for the past few days, rumored to have been kidnapped by scruffy looking cow herders, rival nobility, Altomannian mercenaries, or others. The fate of the Bounty Kingdom is at stake, Imperial and rebel armies are gathering in every corner of the kingdom, Bands and Companies are joining both sides, waiting for the spark that will set off the first strike, rumors are spreading through every den and dive in the north. Everyone, however, agrees on one thing: whoever finds Lelia first will hold the most sought-after treasure in the entire Empire!

Introduction for the Knaves

Names and References

It is becoming harder not to notice the war approaching, even for Knaves the likes of you… Landsknechts and imperial spies are in every dive east of Tauringa, every city in the North is ready to burst, and every square of every place forgotten by the Ternal Father is signing up all possible bands and gangs: from the most well-equipped dragoons to the throngs of bums which overpopulate the Kingdom. The main cities, the ones awaiting Imperial delegations, have seen constant raids and punishments removing all smaller dens and bands. All petty thieves, knaves, and pickpockets have been kicked out of the city walls or summarily sent to the stocks, to prove the efficiency of the consuls, priors, and city aristocrats of the Empire. Chased out of every place, far from any member of your previous band, too far gone and lost, you find yourselves in Abbiate Lardo, a small hamlet on the Fossa, far from the main courts and municipalities, and you are wondering what to do with your miserable life, when all of a sudden...

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When a creature’s name appears in bold type (creature), its stats can be found in Appendix A and B or in the Brancalonia manuals. However, when a creature’s name appears in bold type with an asterisk (creature*), its statistics can be found in the official SRD-OGL V5.1.

Stall Wars

Hooks for the band

The last redeyed

Below are examples of hooks providing suggestions on how this incredible opportunity for loot made its way into the Knave’s hands. The Condottiero is free to change them as needed, or find others that best fit their Band of Knaves.

Knave one

This is the simplest and most straightforward hook for a band of Knaves, hence the name. The band has simply heard the rumor that Princess Lelia has been kidnapped and the Knaves have started daydreaming about the significant reward awaiting those who return her to the Emperor or the Dukes of Tarantasia. Keeping away from the raids currently plaguing the larger settlements, and wandering aimlessly in search of the imperial damsel, they find themselves in Abbiate Lardo during the Fair of Saint Beaton and, noticing some suspicious activity, decide to continue the search from here.

The corpse awakens

Along one of the roads connecting Galaverna and Pianaverna, is an old hamlet in ruins and devoid of life. At the center of the hamlet, the Band notices a hastily built gallows upon which a number of rogues have been hanged, probably one of the exemplary executions carried out of late to clear the fields of thieves and brigands. One of the dangling corpses, however, jerks to life and starts calling towards the Band, only to then start praying. If the Knaves interact with the poor soul, they will find out he is Father Tornator Dalì, a Castellanian-sounding miraculist who seems to have vanquished death, even though his looks and stench might suggest the opposite. Perhaps he is one of those mysterious Paraghouls, Knaves so skilled they can even trick Death? Dalì, from his noose, will tell the characters that they are the first ones to pay him any attention, as everyone until now either ignored him or pelted him with a few rocks and cutting words. The man of faith tells them he has seen knights and saboteurs, ration carts, traders, men of the cloth, and several serious soldiers wearing foreign uniforms, perhaps Altomannian landsknechts, all headed for Abbiate Lardo, probably for the annual Fair of St Beaton. Not only that: traveling with them were infamous felons, acrobats, cooks, gendarmes, gangs of badly-equipped bandits, jackrabid felons, and all sorts of circus freaks. Father Dalì promises to reveal a very important rumor, should the Knaves help him out of the noose. If the characters do so, the paraghoul will tell them all about the various conversations he has overheard from the aforementioned passers-by, according to whom a certain Imperial daughter has been kidnapped a few days prior in the proximity of Abbiate Lardo, probably by cocky mercenaries of Altomannic origins. A large reward awaits whoever finds her, and that is why the small army is headed for the Fair.

When the Emperor gathered his troops to descend upon Galaverna to teach the municipalities a lesson, he also hired a host of mercenary spears, pikes and swords, endless legions of infantry, landsknechts and knights, all primed for battle. Beside them, however, also marched the skewers – the preferred weapon of the nasty jackrabids population, who ran to join the promised violence. And so, teams of felons and cut-throats have joined the Imperial armies. To the cry of “Rabbits! On your Spits!”, these harelings have already made a name for themselves in minor military maneuvers, as well as the more sordid sorties in the rural areas of the valley. During their aimless wanderings, the Knaves have encountered the last survivors of a pack of fleeing Jackrabids, chased by a mob of furious peasants set on exacting revenge upon the harelings for the way they have been treated. After saving the rogues from their pursuers – in exchange for a substantial amount of coins – the Knaves have also found out about the princess’ kidnapping, probably at the hands of Galaverna bandits and ne’er-do-wells. An even larger sum awaits whoever finds her again, and that is the reason why the last skewer-walkers have decided to rise to the occasion, and follow her trail to Abbiate Lardo.

A few hopes

There are a significant number of Dukes, Vice-Princes, Arch-Marquis, Proto-Abbots, and Briganza Baronets who have still not chosen sides in the coming conflict. Some of them lean toward joining the side of the Emperor, and want to ensure the best seats in the New Feudal Order which will be enforced in the north. Others, on the other hand, are tending towards the newborn Blowhard League and intend to fight for their own freedom beside Tarantasia (and immediately after, against it). Whatever the relevant noble’s faction may be, the Knaves are rotting in the cages of one of these minor vassals, who decides to take them down from public shaming to offer them the cumbersome task of retrieving the missing princess, or at least discovering information about her current location. The vassal promises to return all of the band’s belongings and erase their rap sheets, as well as promising a succulent reward as an extra bonus, should the Knaves return with accurate information or, even better, the young damsel in the flesh, so the noble may sell her back to his superior. According to the information he has gathered, the princess has been kidnapped by a band of minor Knaves of the Brotherhood – just like our main characters – hiding in the vicinity of Abbiate Lardo.

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Stall Wars

Background for the Condottiero

WARNING: THIS SECTION CONTAINS SECRETS AND PLOT TWISTS FOR THIS ADVENTURE AND THE WHOLE CAMPAIGN TO COME. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. The princess was never kidnapped; she escaped herself from the Imperial Camp. The Emperor had been planning to hand her over in marriage to the Lord of Tarantasia, but the princess did not accept orders or impositions. She is a free spirit and has no intention of being used as a peace offering, given to a slimy aristocrat, or being treated as a bargaining tool. With no other way to leave the camp, she spotted a roving seller ready to leave the landsknecht area, a man also brimming with secrets and uncommon resources. She tricked her escort and fled the open pavilions, hiding in the back of his food-cart, the Mozzarella in Carrozza (mozzarella in a carriage). The imperial army and the various sections are accompanied by an uncountable number of entertainers, thugs, performers, low-level felons, spirit smugglers, and other service providers. Food is one of said services, and roving food carts abound – usually nicknamed ‘greasers’ by the landsknechts – which offer a type of food only slightly better than the army gruel provided by the canteens. The one that the fleeing princess chose was no common food seller, but rather a forlorn curdlemancer from Volturnia, Tonino Scannafagiuolo, who due to his boar-ish origins and looks, is commonly known as “Ventresca”. Ventresca

and Lelia immediately reached an agreement: to leave the Imperial camp together and find a den somewhere north of Abbiate Lardo, where they can hide from the Empire’s envoys and bounty hunters, and spend the time planning the details of a Big Heist that Lelia has in mind. Escaping her father was not enough: the princess wants to go all in by stealing the chests holding her dowry and the troops’ payroll, and then flee to Gibralcanda where no one will ever find her, and spend the rest of her life free from troubles, thoughts, and her father’s control. To escape, Lelia has hidden herself in a secret compartment in the food-cart and waited while Ventresca left the camp, on the pretext of reaching Abbiate Lardo and joining the Fair of Saint Beaton. In order not to arouse suspicion, the food cart has therefore really traveled to Abbiate Lardo, and there, to keep up the façade, Ventresca has to actually participate in the Fair, waiting for a better time to get further away. Lelia has now cut her hair, dyed it brown, and has soiled herself with grease and frying oil, disguising herself as “Brunello”, Ventresca’s young male assistant. Only her piercing blue eyes could give away her newly curdlemancer-applied identity.

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Stall Wars

Scene 1 – In Search of Lelia When the adventure begins, or right after the hook for the Band has been accepted if you choose to play it out, the Knaves will find themselves directly in the heart of Abbiate Lardo, in the middle of the celebrations of the Fair of Saint Beaton. No one is looking for them, no one really cares, unless they actively bother someone or catch the attention of someone in particular – the entire town, however, is brimming with envoys of the Emperor, braves, rogues, guards, mercenaries, all in search of Lelia. Using a map of the Fair, the players can choose which stalls to visit, who to ask for information, and where and how to start investigating the princess’ disappearance. Most of the stallholders and peasants attending the fair have no clue about the whole thing, and do not take kindly to being threatened by Knaves such as the characters. Also, spreading the news that the Emperor’s daughter has disappeared can cause a rising tide of rumors, chaos, and general confusion that might lead to: •

alerting the fugitive and Ventresca themselves, who will increase their efforts to cover their tracks;

•

cause the characters’ arrest at the hands of local Queen’s Guards and Imperial soldiers, for false alarm and disturbance of the peace in the presence of the Altomannic army;

•

draw the attention of all the other characters currently on the princess’ trail, who will take advantage of the first opportunity to extort information from the Band and remove them from the competition.

Discretion and a low profile should be the operating words during the search. If the band, however, starts asking about Brunello, Ventresca’s assistant hired in Abbiate Lardo, no one will have heard of him and no one knows who he is. At most, someone will have noticed a young man with piercing blue eyes, reeking of grease and wine, wandering through the various stalls. Along with clues, bets, and attractions, the Fair is also a chance to buy common Brancalonian goods and services, including counterfeits, concoctions, and magic junk, all obviously in its shoddy version.

Stall Wars

The Fair of Saint Beaton Below is a description of the various locations and clues that can be found at the Fair. 1 – The Phantasm Menace. The Caterwauling Shack is a large carriage set up as a haunted mansion, which for a mere pittance will cause a shiver to run down the spine of even the bravest Knave. The carriage is actually, truly haunted by a phantasm, Berenice, cursed to be tied to this one location. She is the one who activates the various mechanisms in the Shack, or causes the various effects of the attraction, and the reason for the Shack’s success in the region. The specter is neither cruel nor hostile, and willingly cooperates with the owner of the Shack – Dart Mallet, with his reddish skin and visible horns sprouting out of his head, who uses his true nature as further advertisement for the Shack. Dart and Berenice are in love and have been running the Shack for years. By wagering 1 to 3 silver coins, you can test your mettle inside the Caterwauling Shack, facing unknown threats and forewarned dangers that Dart Mallet passionately narrates to whomever walks close to his carriage. Any Knave who chooses to enter will be faced with a series of improbably and decidedly non-scary “special effects”, such as badly disguised mannequins, colored mists, narrow passages, and stuffed animals springing out very, very slowly. The whole set-up feels like a disappointment until the last room, when suddenly the entire carriage starts shaking and the spectral visage of a woman appears through the walls. Berenice uses her Terrifying Glare on the Knave. On a failed save, the Knave will be thrown out of the Phantasm Menace, still paralyzed by terror. On the other hand, on a successful save, Berenice is impressed, and she offers the band the opportunity to have a chat. Clues: if the Knaves are able to befriend Berenice or her beloved agent, or either is made to talk somehow, they can discover that a suspicious-looking young man hid inside the Shack that very morning to avoid being chased by two

men with peculiar accents. Unlike the latter, who fled very quickly, the young man withstood the phantasmal manifestation. Berenice has no idea who the man may have been, but she is sure of one thing: beneath the disguise, the young man is in fact a woman. Mallet did not see the young man hide, but he did catch a whiff of frying fat and stewed cabbage after he left. He did, however, recognize the two men: landsknechts, just like the ones camping with the Imperial envoys (4). 2 - Mozzarella in Carrozza. This food-cart belongs to Tonino Scannafagiuolo, known as “Ventresca”, famous in many parts of the Kingdom for his frequent stops for sausage buns, tripe cauldrons for high prices, a thousand and one delights, and his incredibly fresh Volturnian buffalo mozzarellas. This is the cart that Lelia used to escape the Imperial camp, though she is currently elsewhere. Clues: When directly questioned about the circumstances, Ventresca denies any connection with the facts, but a discerning Knave may discover that he is lying with a successful DC 17 Wisdom (Insight) check. For other topics, such as questions about: Lelia’s location at that time, if he was the kidnapper, who were the kidnappers, etc., the forlorn curdlemancer does not lie by replying in the negative – after all, he kidnapped no one, and he has literally no idea where Lelia is right now. If he is questioned about his assistant “Brunello”, he will reveal that he has tasked him with preparing the tripe cauldron for the Imperial dinner (4) and that he should be running errands around the Fair, looking for tubers and herbs to add a bit of flavor to the dish. He might even admit that, that same morning, he and Brunello took part in the Beatings as a distraction (3): Brunello had never taken part in any Fair before, and he was excited to finally try out some local fun. This is also all true. If the characters suspect that he might be involved in the princess’ disappearance, persist with their line of questioning, or try forcing answers out of him, Ventresca will finish cooking a Medullian with the magic formula “Cooked or raw, the fire all saw!” and flees, as the creature attacks the Band and any soldiers who might arrive, creating chaos at the Fair.

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Stall Wars 3 – Saint Beaton and the Beast. The Fair of Saint Beaton owes its name to the showdown between an ancient creature that many years ago was chased out by the formidable “Bloody John”, the Knight of Beatings, who was made patron saint of the town by a hard of hearing preacher under the name “Saint Beaton” or “Saint Bloody John”. The beast in question was an “Adder”, some sort of snake, bigat, or catsnake who grew too large due to some Befanic curse, and the showdown is recreated annually at the Fair (see p. 30, ‘Beatings of Saint Beaton’). In the arena set up for the celebratory brawl is a young page keeping watch over a book with a thick, heavy cover of Adder skin (actually some river mouse-beaver) in which, every year, the participants in the Beatings of Saint Beaton can list their name after joining the brawl. Many have chosen to leave a mark of their passage, many with horrible handwriting, even more with just an “x”, at times followed by a period, colon, or semi-colon. Consulting the Tome of Saint Beaton is reserved for those who take part in the celebration of the sainted knight, glorifying his name with their knuckles in the arena. Clues: If the Knaves participate in the Beatings of Saint Beaton and after that try to look for clues about the princess's presence by consulting the list of names in the tome, with a successful DC 11 Intelligence (Investigation) check, they can find two names that arouse instant curiosity: “Syr Capocollo and Brunello”. If the characters ask the pageboy holding the heavy volume about those names, he says he doesn't remember, but also that 10 coppers (10 cp) might stimulate his memory. If paid or convinced with a successful DC 15 Charisma (Persuasion) check or DC 10 Charisma (Intimidation) check, the pageboy tells them of a well-placed man and a young boy with piercing blue eyes, who have defeated all participants in the arena in a few minutes, during the inaugural Beating. According to the pageboy, Syr Capocollo and Brunello looked like a couple of good friends - maybe lovers? - and after the brawl, they went to the Pork-o-drome, to bet or perhaps participate in the Porkraces. 4 - Imperial Envoy Pavilion. This area of the Fair is taken up by a recruitment center for the Imperial army, gathering Knaves and farm thugs to become cannon fodder for the auxiliary troops. To draw attention, the Altomagne representatives have also set up a shooting range using a few of their ordinance boomsticks, sure to make a hit thanks to their use of the powerful and mysterious black powder. At this moment, with the princess gone, recruiting officer Conrad Schwanzstucher has also been warned of the events and has set his subordinates on the case, scouring the Fair for clues about Lelia’s whereabouts. Behind the encampment is a large cauldron, in which the “buseccone” is bubbling away: a stew of tripe, guts, offal and sweetbreads, beans, tubers, and onions, in preparation for the troops’ mealtime.

If the Knaves want to, the can attempt to fire a few boomstick shots (3 ranged weapon attack rolls, DC: 12, 15, and 18, no prize other than a friendly pat on the back), or even sign up as auxiliary Imperial troops. In the latter case, they will receive a hearty portion of buseccone and a flask of wine, an Army Conduct Certificate (in Altomannian, an incredibly bad deal for those who sign up), and the order to show up the following morning at the tent outside of town to receive their first pay and orders. That is when the lashings, the stocks, and the hard labor will begin – though this last part is not revealed to volunteer recruits. Whether they sign up or not, the Knaves can still receive a menial task from Imperial Envoy Schwanzstucker, who is always on the lookout for willing saboteurs to create chaos and confusion among the municipality pike detachment (5), who are keeping watch over them in the most bothersome of ways. Conrad Schwanzstucker (LN human landsknecht doppelsoldner), is accompanied by 5 landsknecht and 5 felons. Clues: Lelia keeps herself away from this group of Altomannians. However, if the Knaves join the Imperials, or manage to get close to them, with a successful DC 13 Wisdom (Perception) check, they can hear the herald opening up to some villagers, in a rather stentorian vulgar, revealing that he categorically rejects the idea that the mercenaries on the empire's payroll could be those who kidnapped Lelia. Other than the fact that he – he claims – would have heard about it, no Band leader or landsknecht commander would have so foolishly and openly provoked the ire of the Emperor. Further, if asked, the gathered landsknechts and felons can reveal that the buseccone has been prepared by Master Ventresca and Brunello, his assistant. That morning, Schwanzstucker sent two spies after Brunello to figure out the reason behind his frequent disappearances, but the two returned just a little worse for wear claiming that the boy was clean and had only wanted to take part in the Fair’s offerings. Finally, the officer or his subordinates can confirm that the Mozzarella in Carrozza was indeed present in the Imperial camp before the princess was kidnapped. That was the reason for the Altomannians choosing Ventresca as an additional cook, buseccone bubbling behind their tents: he has been vetted as a reliable supplier for the Imperial troops. Brunello, on the other hand, was not yet employed by Ventresca, but rather was brought on board as assistant once in Abbiate Lardo. 5 - City Piketeer Stall. Mere steps away from the Altomannian recruitment pavilion is a detachment of municipal pikemen, who keep watch over all Imperial troops (who have been allowed to recruit) and the proceedings of the Fair, ensuring the minimal amount of chaos. Abbiate Lardo is formally under the control of the Dukes of Tarantasia, and it is to the latter that the pikemen and their commanding officer, Viscount Maximus E. Fort, are loyal. The Duke and the Emperor are allies, the former a devout vassal of the other, but Princess Lelia - who was supposed to

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Stall Wars

Beatings of Saint Beaton Several times a day, usually morning, afternoon, and evening, the arena at the center of the clearing in which the Fair is set up, sees an all-out celebratory brawl featuring two factions; on one side, haphazardly put together knight costumes, made of clay and straw, on the other a collective and equally haphazard Adder costume. The two sides fight each other in an amateur version of a Brawl (see Brawl on page 18). The Brawl of the Beatings of Saint Beaton uses the following changes: Props. Players can only collect the props provided in the arena. Costume. To participate, players must wear the appropriate costumes. Costume of the Knights. Each knight must wear armor made of pots and pans that grants an AC equal to 16 (no Dexterity bonus). Additionally, while wearing this armor, any attack roll is made with disadvantage, due to the pot used as a helmet, that makes it nearly impossible to see. Knights' common props Knight's broom. When the character makes a beating with the broom, they inflict an additional whack. Tower Tray. When the character is hit by an attack with spicy oil (see below), they can use their reaction to avoid it. Adder Costume. Adder's robes grant an AC equal to 15. Adder's epic props: Spicy Oil Bellows. The spicy oil bellows can be used to inflict the stunned condition on two targets. Foggy Dragoon. When the character is hit by an attack, they can use their reaction to activate the Flour Snow stray danger on the Knights. seal the alliance through marriage - has been kidnapped and tensions are rising. If the Knaves want to, they can sign up as auxiliaries in the municipal militia. They will receive an Amnesty Certificate for all of their Misdeeds (a document entirely to their disadvantage, with subtle clauses specifically designed to screw them over) and the order to show up the following morning at the tent outside of town to receive their first pay and orders. That is when the lashings, the stocks, and the hard labor will begin – though this last part is not revealed to volunteer recruits. Whether they sign up or not, the Knaves can still receive a task from the Viscount, who is looking to hire spies to discover what the Altomannians are up to in their tents. Viscount Maximus E. Fort (LN human noble*) is accompanied by a veteran* and 6 city piketeers.

Clues: Lelia keeps her sensible distance from these soldiers. If the Knaves sign up, however, or if they carry out the task or somehow gain the trust of the Viscount, the officer may open up to them and reveal that it was definitely not anyone from the Free Cities who kidnapped the princess. No municipal soldier or contractor would ever dare to go against the Dukes of Galaverna so foolishly, abducting his beloved wife-to-be and ruining the once-in-a-dynasty deal with the Emperor. The Viscount also believes it very strange indeed that the Imperial army has chosen the Mozzarella in Carrozza as their food-cart, whose prices are the highest of the entire Fair. They would have spent much less had they asked for the Adder Pinch Store (9) or the local butcher, Culatello (6).

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Stall Wars 6 - The Nettle Gang. Qualche settimana fa, una banda di canaglie incallite che avA few weeks ago, a company of irredeemable Knaves whose den was in the Nettle District of Tarantasia was kicked out of the city during the guard actions designed to secure and clean up the area for the Imperial visit. With their contacts and a second den in Abbiate Lardo, the gang has now settled in town and has started swaying events to their advantage, kicking out in turn the local ‘bad folks’ and rising as new representatives of the Brotherhood in the area. At this moment, with the Fair currently running, the Knaves spend their day loitering on half-broken benches and watching those taking part in the Poppycocks (see page 20), all washed down with generous gulps of wine. Given the common association with the Brotherhood, members of the Nettle Gang are fairly welcoming to the newcomer Knaves, as long as they don’t perform too many Misdeeds on their turf and they pay their respects to the local leader, Francis Culatello, butcher and greaser. If this has not been the case, the company will remind the Knaves of the meaning of honor and territory with a generous walloping, in the form of a Brawl. Culatello might also ask the Knaves to free Lando, one of his men caught by the Royal Bounty Hunters (7) before he reveals too much. The Nettle Gang includes Francis Culatello (NE pantegan cutthroat), 2 criminals*, and 5 bandits*. Clues: Lelia keeps her sensible distance from these criminals, but Knaves can still find a clue here too; if they confide in the company, beat them at the Poppycock, or somehow gain the trust of Culatello, the leader will open up and reveal that it was definitely not anyone from the Brothers who kidnapped the princess. The Uncles and the Mammasantissima would never have authorized the kidnapping of such a high-profile individual, especially not with all the soldiers and mercenaries around. Also, Culatello is frustrated by the Imperial choice of food provider, which went to Ventresca instead of himself; he has set spies on him, and can therefore reveal that “Syr Capocollo” from the Beatings of Saint Beaton was indeed him, along with his barely known assistant, Brunello. 7 - The Royal Bounty Stall. Bobo Fetch (see Appendix A, page 36), a Royal Bounty Hunter at the head of a handful of Agents, is wandering through the Fair in search of the princess. The Royal Bounty has also received news of the disappearance and has sent their most capable hunter to the area, both to retrieve Lelia and to avoid a diplomatic disaster. Bobo is aware of the Nettle Company and of the Band’s presence at the Fair, but doesn’t care about such small fry. Bobo Fetch (CN human  royal bounty hunter) travels accompanied by 2  royal bounty agents  and 3  queen's guards. Clues: Bobo has a task for the band if the latter prove

themselves capable or reliable in some way. He buys their cooperation with the promise of erasing their Misdeeds, but once the task is complete he will simply invite them to join the City Piketeers (5) to actually obtain an Amnesty Certificate. The task is incredibly simple: a low-level most wanted by the name of Lando has been caught by the Agents, and Bobo suspects he might know the princess’ location, but the captive does not want to spill the beans and keeps giving out false information. Bobo has caught on to Lando’s games, and will ask the Knaves to pretend to free him, hoping he’ll reveal the truth to them in return. If he is freed, Lando will return to Culatello’s company (6), who will be thankful to the Band, but there is no further information to be obtained beyond that already in possession of the company’s leader. 8 - Knave’s Gambit Tournament. This area of the Fair offers a number of small tables, each carved with what looks like a big chessboard, on which tokens of two different colors are moved from square to square by the reddened hands of the two “Knaves” sat at the table, in a mixture of sleight and slap of hand (see Knave's Gambit on page 21) 9 - Adder Pinch Store. The Adder Pinch Store is another food-cart recently arrived in Abbiate Lardo for the Fair, famous for its freshly fried dough filled with cheese and vegetables, and its lovely owner. Technically a grocery stall, the name is due to the owner Rossavera’s (sylvan innkeeper LN) tendency to give extremely annoying pinches to most of its clientele, leaving a mark on anyone who passes by her stall. Rossavera is also famous and well-regarded for her loose tongue, her collection of dirty jokes, and various imprecations and blasphemies. Clues: If asked directly, Rossavera might reveal that she pinched Brunello a few hours prior, when the young man had sat at one of her stools for some wine and chef ’s special. Rossavera has pinched many people in her life, and she can tell the difference between the skin of a man and that of a woman. Also, this particular pinch left a strange tincture on her hands, as if Ventresca’s assistant used some sort of coloring on himself... 10 - Pork-o-drome. One of the events of the Fair of Saint Beaton is the Porkraces, where the fastest hogs of the Kingdom are greased up and set to race along a track, ridden by precarious jockeys. Serious bets are made on the race, and participating is incredibly difficult: so much interest goes into wagering on the hogs, which are notoriously difficult creatures to raise. The current champion is the ruthless Sebulbo (marionette cutthroat CE), whose means always ensure the end. Clues: By winning the Porkraces, or dealing diplomatically with the many characters attending the race - especially Coscarello, or Farmer Arturo - it is possible for the Knaves

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Stall Wars to learn that, that very morning, a big man with a southern accent (Ventresca) and his assistant came to the Pork-odrome to buy pigs. The owner of the Mozzarella in Carrozza (2) needed the raw material for the Buseccone to be prepared at the Imperial Envoy Pavillion (4). However, the racing-

pork owners are very jealous of their animals, and they sent the two away, cursing and threatening them. This doesn't really seem to have anything to do with the disappearance of Lelia, but the two had a shady, conspiratorial vibe...

The Porkraces If one or more Knaves manage to get a racing-pork (see “How to participate in the porkrace”), they can register as jockeys for the competition at the Pork-o-drome stall. The race consists of a series of trials with which each rider-and-greasy-pig can earn Race Dice. Once at the finish line, all the participants roll the Race Dice gained together with their pig's Speed Die. The order of arrival is then determined by the result of the rolls, starting with the jockey that obtained the highest result, crossing the finish line first, and winning the Porkrace. The victorious racer and their pig win a St. Beaton fair commemorative medal and a gold pig worth 5 Big Pieces (gp).

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Stall Wars phase 1 - Greasy, set, go!

All jockeys have to take positions lined up by the starting line, ready to launch into the Porkraces. Each participant rolls for initiative. The first three in the initiative order gain a d4 Race Die.

phase 2 - Bend of the Shack

As soon as the pigs pass in front of the Shack, they start fidgeting, and maneuvering them gets pretty tricky. Each participant must make a Wisdom (Animal Handling) check; the DC depends on each pig's Maneuverability score. With a successful check, a jockey gets a d6 Race Die, while if the check fails, they get a d4 Race Die. If the Animal Handling check fails by 5 or more, the jockey does not get any Race Die, and also risks falling off the greasy pork and must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw; the DC depends on each pig's Grease score. Whenever a rider falls off the pork, they're out of the race and immediately lose the game.

phase 3 - Adder Pinch Store

The race track passes next to the Serpentone's Pizzicotteria, where one of its famous piñatas is hanging above the track. As the pigs pass, the piñata blows up into a cloud of confetti and streamers. Each participant must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw; the DC depends on each pig's Maneuverability score. With a successful check, a jockey gets a d6 Race Die, while if the check fails, they get a d4 Race Die. If the Dexterity saving throw fails by 5 or more, the jockey does not get any Race Die, and also risks falling off the greasy pork and must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw; the DC depends on each pig's Grease score.

phase 4 - Mozzarella in Carrozza

Passing by this carriage, the food's smell is so disturbing that it makes the pigs go wild. Each participant must succeed on a Strength (Athletics) check; the DC depends on each pig's Maneuverability score. With a successful check, a jockey gets a d6 Race Die, while if the check fails, they get a d4 Race Die. If the Athletics check fails by 5 or more, the jockey does not get any Race Die, and also risks falling off the greasy pork and must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw; the DC depends on each pig's Grease score.

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How to participate in the Race Although there is no maximum number of participants in the race, it goes without saying, due to space conditions, that more than a dozen pigs could hardly compete on the track without creating serious mayhem during Saint Beaton's fair. When the characters arrive, 7 participants are already hanging out near the race starting line. There's still room for a couple of contestants before the next race, and if the characters want to join, they can do it by choosing one of the following options: - Farmer Arturo, one of the participants in the competition, has got two pigs: the Brave - with whom he intends to compete - and Sluggy (use Bacon "Cookloose" stats), which can be borrowed for just two silver pieces per race by anyone who ain't got no steed but still wants to experience the thrill of the Porckraces. - If the characters appear to be looking for a racing-pork, a funfellow named Coscarello (hob, see Macaronicon) approaches them, offering the chance of a lifetime! Coscarello has got some special acorns with which he could transform half of the Knaves into racing-porks, allowing the other half to ride them during the Porkrace. In exchange for this magic trick, Coscarello asks the characters for nothing in advance but to make an effort to entertain him… and half the prize in case one of them gets to the finish line first, winning the race.

Stall Wars phase 5 - Finish Line Note: Knaves who are turned into pigs use the statistics of one of the racing-porks of the table (except Blue Sob “The Noble”), of the player's choice. However, what is revealed only after the spell has been cast is that, from that moment on, the transmuted Knaves become common pigs, losing self-consciousness, and the companions designated as jockeys will have to make all the checks during the race. At the end of the run, the pigs return to their humanoid form and have no recollection whatsoever of what happened after eating the extravagantic acorn.

The participants must roll all the accumulated Race Dice together with the Speed Die of their racing-pork to determine the jockeys' order of arrival. Jockey

Racing-Pork

Maneuverability

Speed

Grease

Dominic (bandit captain* human CG)

Stiletto, “the Quarter Milt”

15

d10

12

Farmer Arturo (commoner* human NG)

Bae, “the Brave”

13

d8

14

Mequìn (innkeeper nonexistent LE)

Lighty, “the Rookie”

10

d6

11

Faust (duelist malebranche CN)

Furious "El Bandolero"

14

d8

9

Gavin (scout* gifted NG)

Bacon "Cookloose"

8

d4

8

Little Trick (pagan sylvan CG)

Spirit "Wild Hog"

11

d6

10

Sebulbo (cutthroat CE)

Blue Sob "the Noble"

special*

d6

special*

The Secret of Sebulbo

Sebulbo is arrogant and a braggart, making fun of the other participants and showing off for its one-after-another victories since it arrived at the fair. As it does so, it speaks to a crowd of fans who gather around it, waiting for the next race and hanging off its woody words. The marionette never loses sight of its own racing-pork, covered with medals, doing all it can to define the pig as the best of them all, theatrically showing it to the audience. "Blue Sob is the fastest, the strongest, the noblest pig ever seen in the whole Kingdom - Sebulbo and "the Noble " win every race, guaranteed!". With a successful DC 18 Intelligence (Arcana) check, DC 20 Intelligence (Investigation), or DC 19 Wisdom (Perception) check, a character may notice that Sebulbo, the puppet riding Blue Sob called "the Noble", reigning champion of the Porkraces of the Saint Beaton fair, is nothing more than an inanimate wooden puppet, probably moved by some ventriloquist spell or sorcery of some sort. The truth is that Sebulbo, which is none other than the anagram of Blue Sob, is the actual name of the talking pig puppeteer who controls the jockey-puppet with its extravagantic powers. Special *: Sebulbo always finishes the race with 3d6 Race Dice as if it succeeded on all checks.

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Stall Wars

Scene 2 – A Bad Feeling

Conclusion

Brunello has disappeared for a few hours now, but if the Knaves have gathered all clues from around the Fair, they should have figured out that Ventresca is the cat to put in the bag. If that is not the case, around dinner time, or once Bobo Fetch realizes at the end of the day what the Knaves have not, the curdlemancer’s plan to muddy the waters and cover his tracks is ready to spring. Scannafagiuolo has been spending all day, with Brunello’s help, concocting the recipe for a horrifying Medullian tasked with destroying the Fair and chasing out the Imperial and municipal troops and the bounty hunters. The broiling buseccone is none other than the breeding pot for this horrendous curdlemantic mixture, which the Norcitan has recently stolen from a Befana called Donna Bonfarda. The buseccone has been ready for hours, and can be activated at any time by speaking the closing formula of the cooking process: “Cooked or raw, the fire all saw!”, at which point the cauldron will explode in a conflagration of offal, guts, and assorted chunks, taking the shape of a Medullian ready to destroy everything in its sight. It is time to fight for the sake of the Fair and well… everyone’s own life! The Medullian will draw the attention of all piketeers, landsknechts, and bounty hunters, as the Fair degenerates into chaos. Most people present will try fleeing, and the Knaves risk being trampled by the scared masses. Any creature that moves anywhere in the fair area during the first 3 rounds after the marrowbone was summoned must make a DC 10 Strength (Athletics) check. If the check fails by 5 or more, the creature falls prone and takes 1d4 bludgeoning damage while being trampled by the crowd. There is also an additional complication for the Knaves, and for around half of the Imperial troops present: whoever has tasted the gruel from the cauldron, before the rise of the Medullian, is now experiencing an awful collateral effect. As soon as Ventresca speaks his magic words, and the cauldron disgorges its disgusting mass, so does everyone who tasted even a sip, and they must all succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw, or gain a level of exhaustion. The effect does not have any lasting or eldritch consequences – it is just really, really gross.

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Once the Medullian is defeated, as Abbiate Lardo descends into chaos, the surviving Knaves can easily figure out that Ventresca has swiftly left the scene and the town, with or without his cart depending on whether he has been discovered or not. Following his tracks at dusk and for the first part of the night, through forested areas and along country trails is not a problem at this time for the Band, who will eventually either catch up with or be right behind him when he meets up with Lelia in the appointed location; the princess is still disguised as Brunello. If the Band has followed Brunello’s trail, most of what has actually transpired will have been gathered by now; if not, Lelia and Ventresca are ready to spill the beans: the two are allies, the princess was not kidnapped, but rather chose to escape, while the food-cart and the curdlemancy enchantment of the Buseccone were crucial elements of the escape plan. “It is not my intention to trick the likes of you, as you found me all the way up here, nor will I hide what I’m planning to do, but if you think you can take me back down there and hand me over to your Band leader or my father, you have another thing coming. I will scream for the entire journey, I will say you were the ones who kidnapped me, I will see you hanging, one way or another…” The princess will not listen to any explanation or argument, but if the Knaves are looking for a compromise or have a good idea to solve the situation, the princess is ready to hand one over on a silver platter: Lelia has escaped so that she would not be used as a bargaining tool for her father, but she is privy to a secret that could make everyone stinking rich and allow both the Band and herself to make it to Gibralcanda or Costantinaples, overhaul their life, and spend the rest of it among opulence and excess. She knows the exact location of the chests containing the money for the soldiers’ and mercenaries’ pay, along with her dowry… The treasure is well, more than they can imagine. If the Knaves agree to follow her instructions, they will be able to achieve the Big Heist of their lives in a few months, and trick in one fell swoop the Empire, the Dukes, and all the mercenaries, Bands, and Gangs of the Kingdom. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

Stall Wars

Appendix A Extras/NPCs

Berenice

The appearance of this spirit is that of a middle-aged lady tending to old age, her hair long and white, fluctuating like waves in the air. She is very capable of appearing wrathful and scary, and knows how to operate contraptions and tricks in the Caterwauling Shack, but when she’s not playing the part of the vengeful spirit, she is a docile, warm lady, wise and measured. Her relationship with her manager is the best thing that has happened in her un-life Character Traits - Berenice loves philosophy and hates anyone with a closed mind. Ideal - Trust. Berenice looks at life with singular positivity and imagination and has an unshakable trust in others. (Good) Bond - Berenice is in love with Dart Mallet, and she would do anything for him. Flaw - Berenice never has the opportunity to talk to people, and when she finds someone who stops and listens to her, she can easily get lost in the conversation for hours. Berenice is a magnitude 2 confined, and possesses the Telekinetic Control and Terrifying Gaze unique powers. Unlike a typical confined, Berenice's alignment is neutral good, and she does not possess the long-awaited peace weakness.

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Stall Wars

Dart Mallet

The Malebranche manager Dart Mallet has long since fled Hell, after completing his Great Refusal. His appearance is still that of an infernal creature: red skin, scarring over body and face, horns. Instead of covering up his traits, Mallet has opted to make use of them in his role as barker and manager of the Shack, catching the attention of passers-by with his colorful talk and looks. He is sincerely fond of Berenice, whom he found in an actual shack she used to haunt - the place where she died a violent death. Given that her specter is tied to the place, he decided to take down part of it to make it into a roving attraction, and Berenice is now “tied” to their carriage, free to see the world. Character Traits - Dart often speaks in Macaronic, and acts as an illustrious and famous person. Ideal - Self-determination. Dart thinks it is sacrosanct to do what's right for the show, even when it might not be convenient, fair, or legitimate to others. (Chaotic) Bond - Dart is in love with Berenice, and he would do anything for her. Flaw - Dart is always wary of priests, friars, and exorcists.

Dart Mallet

actions

Multiattack. Dart Mallet makes two melee attacks. Quarterstaff. Melee Weapon Attack: 5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage, or 7 (1d8 + 3) bludgeoning damage if wielded with two hands.

Medium humanoid (malebranche), chaotic neutral Armor Class 16 Hit Points 44 (8d8 + 8) Speed 40 ft. STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

12 (+3)

16 (+3)

12 (+1)

12 (+1)

9 (-1)

17 (+3)

Reactions

Slapstick (3/day). When Dart Mallet is attacked by a creature, he can use his reaction to distract the opponent, which must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against Dart Mallet spell save DC or be charmed until its next turn and lose its current attack.

Saving Throws Dex +5, Cha +5 Skills Acrobatics +7, Athletics +3, Deception +5, Performance +7, Persuasion +5 Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 9 Languages Racket, Bedamn, Macaronic, Vernacular Challenge 2 (450 XP)

Unarmored Defense. While Dart Mallet is wearing no armor and not wielding a shield, his AC equals 10 + his Dexterity modifier + his Charisma modifier. Spellcasting. Dart Mallet is a 3rd-level spellcaster. His spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 13, +5 to hit with spell attacks). He has the following bard spells prepared: Cantrips (at will): mage hand, prestidigitation 1st level (4 slots): bane, feather fall, thunderwave 2nd level (2 slots): hold person, suggestion 

Hellfeet. Dart Mallet base walking speed is 40 feet. Hellvoice (1/day). Dart Mallet can cast the charm person spell. Charisma is his spellcasting ability for this spell.

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Stall Wars

Ventresca

Ventresca’s story is a long and complicated one. Sylvan and norcitan on his mother’s side, Pentonino Scannafagiuolo was born and raised in Volturnia, working from a very young age in grocery stores, inns, and pizzerias belonging to his various relatives. Gifted with uncommon abilities and insight, young Tonino eventually caught the attention of some southern curdlemancers, who taught him the first secrets and basic recipes of the occult science. After the first couple of years, however, Tonino refused to formally join the cult and the worship of the Pasta Mater Tenebrarum, throwing his own mentor into a cauldron and fleeing the Kingdom of Two Scyllas. Armed with his food-cart and adopting a new nickname to avoid unwanted attention, Ventresca now roams the northern regions of the Kingdom, and even beyond the Crown Mountains, selling his specialties and personal inventions in main squares and cities. He still knows several curdlemancy recipes and his cart, the Mozzarella in Carrozza, is filled with secrets and hidden compartments, even though he has long set aside learning the secrets of occult cooking and pastrycraft, simply seeking a good life through his regular cooking… sure, maybe with “a pinch of this or that secret ingredient” where needed, but careful never to draw any unwanted attention. Ventresca is a well-built man, large and rounded out, with long, bushy sideburns and a vague boarish look to him that betray his norcitan origins. Meeting Lelia has changed his ways and has finally shown him a goal for his aimless wandering: making a whole load of money to open a luxury restaurant in Costantinaples would be the greatest reward for a talent such as his! Character Traits - Ventresca often speaks in Racket and uses derisive terms or mockery towards the settle-ones, such as "Paisàn". Ideal - Common Sense. Ventresca thinks there are as many norms and truths as there are human heads, and it is impossible to consider them all: the important thing is to follow common sense. (Chaotic) Bond - Ventresca's cucchiarella, his inseparable tool and weapon. Flaw - Ventresca accepts no complaints whatsoever from anyone about what he cooks.

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Ventresca

Medium humanoid (sylvan), chaotic good Armor Class 12 Hit Points 45 (6d8 + 18) Speed 30 ft. STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

16 (+3)

14 (+2)

16 (+3)

16 (+3)

14 (+2)

17 (+3)

Saving Throws Wis +4, Int +5 Skills Arcana +5, Deception +5, History +5, Perception +4, Performance +5, Persuasion +5, Survival +4 Senses passive Perception 11 Languages Racket, Draconian, Bedamn, Vernacular Challenge 4 (1,100 XP)

Raised in the Forest. Ventresca can attempt to hide even when he is only lightly obscured by foliage, heavy rain, falling snow, mist, and other natural phenomena. Curdlehead. Ventresca has advantage on saving throws against being charmed.  Spellcasting. Ventresca is a 6th-level spellcaster. His spellcasting ability is Intelligence (spell save DC 13, +5 to hit with spell attacks). He has the following wizard spells prepared: Cantrips (at will): fire bolt, mage hand, prestidigitation*, ray of frost* 1st level (4 slots): purify food and drink*, quality stamp (see Macaronicon at pag. 51), unseen servant  2nd level (3 slots): alter self, heat metal*, magic mouth, scorching ray 3rd level (2 slots): insurance (see Macaronicon at page 50), major image, poorman's feast * (see Macaronicon page 50) 

*The spell counts as a wizard spell for Ventrasca.

actions

Cucchiarella. Melee Weapon Attack: + 5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d4 + 3) bludgeoning damage. 

Stall Wars

Rossavera

The keeper at the Adder Pinch Gropery Store in Abbiate Lardo is a young and resourceful countrywoman, who does not “know her place” and is ready to defend her family’s business at any cost, along with her own freedom and lifestyle. Those who have tried patronizing her or treating her with no respect have found out that Rossavera is capable of tapping into the power of fury on command, and everyone in town agrees that “Red” would even yell at the Emperor should he ever dare to sit at her bar. Character Traits - Presumption is Rossavera's main characteristic, and she never misses an opportunity to boast about the quality of her cuisine. Ideal - Glory. Rossavera always tries to cover herself with glory and admiration. Bond - The elderly hermit who welcomed her when she was nothing but a lonely runaway, and taught her the Magna Favella technique. Flaw - Rossavera likes to be annoying and pinch everybody's cheeks.

Bobo “Fetch” and the Royal Bounty Agents

The Vortigian bounty hunter Bobo di Jango is an old fox and has long been one of the key players among the Royal Bounty - hence the nickname Fetch. Now in his fifties, he is particularly skilled with a crossbow and with extracting information from prisoners, convincing them to reveal what they know with what he calls his “bad manners”. Slender, tall, darkened and hardened by a life in the sun, he prefers open spaces and horse rides across the Kingdom to prisons, offices, and barracks. Character Traits - Bobo Fetch always sleeps with one eye open. Ideal - Power. With blades as in life, the toughest wins. Bond - Bobo Fetch always carries with him the faded bounty of someone he's been chasing for long years, a certain “Angelica”. Flaw - Bobo Fetch has no respect for anyone who hasn't proven themself a good fighter.

Conrad Schwanzstucker

Conrad Schwanzstucker von Fraublucher is a promising Altomannian career officer, who has risen to fame through various Imperial maneuvers in recent years. He is truly knowledgeable in the art of war and skilled on the battlefield, as well as highly respected by his subordinates. The main issue is that he absolutely loathes the southern provinces, the Kingdom, and all of this riffraff living south of the Crown Mountains, and can’t wait to have them all hanged to head back to the north, to more civilized lands. He is tall and well built, always serious, and with a voice that demands respect and attention. Character Traits - Conrad gets nostalgic and nervous whenever he's away from the Altomannic lands. Ideal - The Laws of the Emperor. The laws of the Emperor are the only laws we should all respect. Bond - His faithful hunting dog, Weimarotto. Flaw - Conrad doesn't like anything south of the Crown Mountains.

Viscount Maximus E. Fort

The heir of a noble dynasty of Galaverna, the Viscount is an inept promoted to a commanding role purely based on his family influence. He’s short, stocky, loves wine and good food a little too much, and knows nothing about the art of war or military leadership. He is also entirely devoid of a sense of humor, and never understands when his subordinates make fun of his name, or why everyone calls him Discount, failing one of the sounds in his proper title. The hearty laughs that soldiers have at his expense are just inscrutable to him. Character Traits - Viscount Maximus E. Fort always tries to look his best and dresses in the latest fashions. Ideal - Nobility. "Blood ain't wine". Bond - The Count's dream is to be considered a great hero. Flaw - Maximus' passion for comfort leaves no room for anything else.

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Stall Wars

Appendix B Enemies Buseccone

This horrifying curdlemantic preparation, cooked up by Ventresca and Brunello, is none other than a local Galavernian variant of the Medullian recipe - a horrifying and destructive dish of colossal size, and one of the most terrible secrets of occult cooking created in honor of the Pasta Mater. It is a being made of guts, tripe, brains, sweetbreads, innards, and other animal parts mixed together, constantly decomposing and cooking, with the addition of tubers, onions, and herbs for a better flavor.

A dish of the poor, rural tradition, Ventresca’s Buseccone becomes in this adventure a ten foot tall monster oozing sauce and chunks of meat, with the sole goal of destroying everything around it, spreading chaos and fear in town and hurting as many people as possible in order to distract everyone currently on the tracks of Lelia and Scannafagiuolo.

medullian

Death Burst. When the medullian dies, it explodes in a burst of sticky entrails, and each creature within 20 feet of it must make a DC 11 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save a creature takes 21 (6d6) poison damage and is poisoned until the start of its next turn. On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and isn't poisoned.

Huge undead, neutral evil Armor Class 12 (natural armor) Hit Points 126 (11d12+55) Speed 40 ft. STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

20 (+5)

7 (-2)

21 (+5)

3 (-4)

10 (+0)

4 (-3)

actions

Multiattack. The medullian makes two slam attacks. Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: + 8 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 16 (2d10 + 5) bludgeoning damage.  Rain of Entrails (Recharge 5-6). The medullian throws five pieces of rotting flesh, each of which can hit a targetthe medullian can see  within 120 ft. of it. A target must make a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw, taking 3 (1d6) bludgeoning damage and 3 (1d6) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Damage Immunities poison Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, restrained, unconscious  Senses passive Perception 10, darkvision 120 ft. Languages understands Vernacular but can’t speak  Challange 8 (3,900 XP)

Charge. If the medullian moves at least 10 feet straight toward a target and then hits it with a slam attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 11 (2d10) bludgeoning damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be pushed up to 20 feet away and knocked prone. Deathly Stench. Any creature that starts its turn within 30 feet of the medullian must succeed on a DC 16 Constitution saving throw or take 3 (1d6) poison damage and be poisoned until the start of the creature's next turn.

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Stall Wars

Felon

Landsknecht

This category includes the countless mobs of uncategorizable and ungovernable lowlifes and cutthroats that follow the Imperial army. Their tasks usually include “taking care of ” the fallen among the enemies of the Empire, joining the landsknechts in the more demanding missions, and when needed, acting as saboteurs, vanguards, spies, infiltrators, and replacements for the regular ranks. If there were such as role as “the worst of the war”, felons would be the undoubted winners of the title.

The core of the Imperial army is made up by platoons and companies of landsknechts, mercenary soldiers in the employment of Altomannic princes and vassals, from every corner of the Empire. The landsknechts are soldiers by trade, capable and well-trained, skilled at complex maneuvers, gratuitous cruelty, and incredible discipline, all skills usually missing from the Kingdom’s troops. The landsknechts are usually also well equipped, well fed, and well-armed. Their officers and veterans, and the most valorous among them, are usually employed as Doppelsoldners (double-payed), meaning they are paid better and tasked with even more complex missions, such as the use of massive two-handed swords and even firearms, prototypes of which are starting to make their appearance throughout the Empire.

Felon

Landsknecht

Medium humanoid (any race), any alignment

Medium humanoid (any race), any alignment

Armor Class 13 (studded leather) Hit Points 11 (2d8 + 2) Speed 30 ft.

Armor Class 14 (chain shirt) Hit Points 26 (4d8 + 8) Speed 30 ft.

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

14 (+2)

12 (+1)

15 (+2)

10 (+0)

10 (+0)

10 (+0)

14 (+2)

13 (+1)

14 (+3)

10 (+0)

12 (+1)

10 (+0)

Skills Stealth +3 Senses passive Perception 10 Languages Vernacular, Altomannic Challange 1/4 (50 XP)

Skills Athletics +4, Intimidation +2 Senses passive Perception 11 Languages Vernacular, Altomannic Challange 1/2 (100 XP)

Sneak Attack. Once per turn, the felon deals an extra 3 (1d6) damages when it hits a target with a weapon attack and has advantage on the attack roll, or when the target is within 5 feet of an ally of the felon that isn’t incapacitated and the felon doesn’t have disadvantage on the attack roll.

Brute. A melee weapon deals one extra die of its damage when the landsknecht hits with it (included in the attack).

actions

Multiattack. The landsknecht makes two melee attacks. Halberd. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (2d6 + 2) piercing damage. Shortsword. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 9 (2d6 + 2) piercing damage.

actions

Shortsword. Melee Weapon Attack: +3 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 4 (1d6 + 1) piercing damage. Light Crossbow. Ranged Weapon Attack: +3 to hit. range 80/320 ft, one target. Hit: 5 (1d8 + 1) piercing damage.

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Stall Wars

Landsknecht Doppelsoldner

Innkeeper

Medium humanoid (any race), any alignment

Medium humanoid (any race), any alignment Armor Class 17 (half plate) Hit Points 45 (6d8 + 18) Speed 30 ft. STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

16 (+3)

14 (+2)

16 (+3)

10 (+0)

12 (+1)

12 (+1)

Saving Throws Str +5, Cos +5 Skills Athletics +5, Intimidation +3 Senses passive Perception 11 Languages Vernacular, Altomannic Challange 3 (700 XP)

Brute. A melee weapon deals one extra die of its damage when the landsknecht hits with it (included in the attack). Doppelsoldner. The landsknecht has advantage on saving throws against being charmed or frightened.

Armor Class 12 (leather) Hit Points 32 (5d8 + 10) Speed 30 ft. STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

14 (+2)

13 (+1)

15 (+2)

10 (+0)

11 (+0)

12 (+1)

Skills Intimidation +3, Persuasion +3 Senses passive Perception 10 Languages Vernacular, Altomannic Challenge 1/2 (50 XP)

Tireless. On each of its turns, the innkeeper can use a bonus action to take the Dash action.

actions

Multiattack. The innkeeper makes two attacks with its cleaver. Mannaia. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft. or range 20/60 ft., one target. Hit: 5 (1d6 + 2) slashing damage.

actions

Multiattack. The landsknecht makes two melee attacks. Greatsword. Melee Weapon Attack:+5 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 13 (3d6 + 3) slashing damage. Boomstick. Ranged Weapon Attack : +4 to hit, reach 60/180 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d12 + 2) piercing damage.

reactions

Parry. The landsknecht adds 2 to its AC against one melee attack that would hit it. To do so, the landsknecht must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.

Innkeeper

The real unifiers of the Kingdom’s communities, capable of dealing equally with Queen’s Guards, soldiers, Knaves, and most-wanted, of tending to the locations which are at the center of the social life of town and villages - the Dives tavernkeepers, innspeople, bartenders, and pizzamakers are a staple of every city and countryside location throughout the Sinister Boot, and in every Knave’s adventure and job. These individuals are used to taking care of brawlers, drunkards, bandits, guards, and agents of the Royal Bounty, all while running a complex business. They should never be underestimated, nor should anyone try leaving a dive without first settling the bill or making amends for broken property.

Stall Wars

City Piketeer

Despite the large number of Queen’s Guards, mercenaries, knights, bravi, and soldiers of venture, the regular armies of the Free Cities of the North feature mostly infantry. These fighters, usually pike and crossbow wielders, are recruited among volunteers from each town and fortified city, divided into quarters or districts, and funded by the guilds of the arts and trades, municipal treasuries, and spontaneous donations from local families and magnates. They are, essentially, city guards made up of organized citizens, coming together to defend their cities. What they lack in training and discipline they make up for in attachment, loyalty to the cause, and sacrifice, all elements that are lacking in mercenaries, venturers, and landsknechts. Among the ranks of the piketeers it is not uncommon to see women, the young, and the elderly, ready to fight for their city or town, and the safety of their families.

City Piketeer

Medium humanoid (any race), any alignment Armor Class 15 (chain shirt) Hit Points 26 (4d8 + 8) Speed 30 ft. STR

DEX

CON

INT

WIS

CHA

14 (+2)

14 (+2)

15 (+2)

10 (+0)

10 (+0)

10 (+0)

Skills Athletics +4, Perception +2 Senses passive Perception 12 Languages Vernacular, Altomannic Challenge 1/2 (100 XP)

Pike Master. While the city piketeer is wielding a pike, other creatures provoke an opportunity attack from it when they enter its reach.

actions

Multiattack. The city piketeer makes two melee attacks. Pike. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d10 + 2) piercing damage.

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If you want to know how the feud b et w ee n the Knaves of the Kingdom and Th e Emperor will end, visit the Kickstarter page o f o ur new project: Brancalonia - The E mpire Whacks Back

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May the Fork be with you!

Brancalonia, the ENnie Award winning Spaghetti Fantasy setting for the 5th Edition of the most famous role-playing game of all time, is back with a brand-new campaign featuring the Italian satirical community Feudalesimo e Libertà (Feudalism and Freedom)!

C Kingdom. • The introductory job, Stall Wars, which serves to launch the campaign, with new monsters, NPCs, and dive games.

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Brancalonia – Stall Wars contains: • An introductory description of the Kingdom of Brancalonia, reprinted from the 2020 Quickstart. • A brief presentation of the Empire of Feudalesimo e Libertà. • A complete map of the northern part of the

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