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(Chapter 1 – How To Use This Product) INTRO This product has been a long time in the making and is dedicated to you. Our goal was to make the ultimate online game guide & more. We wanted it to be streaightforward, crystal clear, and (most importantly) extremely effective. We appreciate your suppor and will continue working tirelessly to provide you with maximum value. HOW THIS PRODUCT WORKS There are four elements to this product: 1)The product 2)The exclusive PWF Mastermind Facebook group 3)Bi-weekly webinars 4)Bonus content updates
Your updates includes everything. The logic behind this is simple. Through doing private Skype coaching for the past year, we found in addition to all the proper information, the majority of people require hand on support & feedback to get maximum results. The bi-weekly webinars will be a time to clarify any sticking points and make sure you are executing the information correctly. However, we wanted to take it one step further since time can often be of the essence and created a Facebook group available only for exclusive members. This will allow you to not only get more immediate feedback (David Swift and I will be extremely active and thorough), but also learn from and be inspired by other people using this product. Furthermore, our game has evolved and will keep evolving. There is so much more that we will contribute and write about. Instead of rebundling and pumping out new products every few months, we’d rather just share the content with you in semi-real time. However, don’t worry, ALL the information you need to be successful at Tinder and a lot more is already here. The additions will be bonuses and complimentary to what you learn (like how to get laid on Craigslist, travel extremely cheap, sexual escalation via text, etc). Your subscription price will be grandfathered in as long as you choose to stay an exclusive member (you can cancel at any time). HOW TO USE THIS PRODUCT We ask that you please follow these steps and avoid the natural human urge to skim or skip ahead. They were designed to help you learn and get results in the most effective and shortest way possible: i.
Join the secret Facebook group by either messaging me or David on Facebook (preferred) or emailing [email protected] ii. Go through all the modules in chronological order. Do keep your Tinder open and make adjustments as you go along. iii. After you finish the modules, take advantage of the webinars and Facebook group to tweak the
iv.
rest of the way. The webinar schedule and instructions will be posted in the Facebook group Watch out for new content/modules as they become available
(Chapter 2 – Understanding How To Get Laid) INTRO Before diving into the nitty-gritty of setting up your profile and what to message a girl, it is important to understand what generally determines your ability to get laid. I will first explain this broadly then show it applied to online game. There are primarily three components that determine your ability to get laid: i. ii. iii.
Sexual Market Value (These are things like looks, fitness, fashion, money, status, etc) Game (your confidence, groundedness, social intuition, technical game knowledge/execution, etc) Momentum (is your life on an upwards projection or did you “peak” a long time ago)
Yep, that simple. Ability to get laid = SMV + Game + Momentum Now let’s break each one of these down and examine how they apply to online game. SEXUAL MARKET VALUE General Misconceptions This is the part of the formula that is most often ignored by PUA “gurus” and unproductively obsessed over by jaded/frustrated “ex-puas” or guys in the MGTOW movement. The two extremes I often hear are “looks don’t matter!” With enough game any guy can get any girl!” and “I’m Asian/Indian/ugly/fat thus I am fucked”. The first one, is the most ridiculous of the two, but is commonly told because it makes for the easiest marketing pitch. Think about it, as a company what’s easier to tell a guy who doesn’t have the sex life he wants? That he needs to cut his ridiculous long hair, stop dressing like he’s in the 80’s and hit the gym everyday for a year or that his “inner game” isn’t good enough and that he needs 10 new exercises to conquer his approach anxiety? There’s always room for improvement and products to sell (Of course, that isn’t to say inner game isn’t extremely important as well). Disregarding SMV is not only unrealistic, but often damaging in the long-run. A good friend of mine is 5’9, mid 30s, average shape, average job, and Asian. He dressed fashionably and had pretty decent game and social skills. In Los Angeles, a city filled with actors and models who spend hours every day focusing on their appearance, his SMV is around a 6. However, he would hit up the hottest nightclubs in LA 3-4 times a week and hit on models. Sometimes they’d ignore him, sometimes they’d chat with him, sometimes they’d even give him a number and once in a blue moon an 8 would have a one night stand with him. He was convinced the problem was his game and kept grinding it out night after night not seeing desired level of results. After a few years he grew frustrated, entered a neutral/negative momentum and quit game.
If my friend had not bought into the “looks don’t matter! Any guy can get any girl!” marketing pitch his story could’ve been completely different. He could’ve started hitting the gym 3x a week for a year and gotten a six pack and a lean body, which would’ve bumped his SMV by at least a
point. Instead of hitting the hottest clubs, where he is competing with guys who have much higher SMV than him, he should’ve focused more on day game, dive bars, and online where his SMV would be equal to the competition and his game could shine through. This would’ve resulted in him banging a lot more girls and instead of growing jaded/frustrated, he would’ve entered a positive momentum. This is just the beginning, using the positive momentum, he could’ve found a higher value job, taken his fitness to the next level, used the girls he was banging to build a good social circle and thus even further increase his SMV, etc. This brings us to the second extreme: “I’m Asian/Indian/ugly/fat so I am fucked.” There is a partial truth to this. Asian, Indian, and ugly guys do on average have a lower SMV. However, there are also Asian, Indian, ugly fat guys who fuck A LOT of hot girls. The big difference is that they don’t create a “victim mindset” because of things that they can’t control, but instead they actually work harder to improve all the things they can control. They hit the gym and get jacked (or just lose some weight & eat healthier), they get cool careers, travel, dress fashionably, etc. Through maximizing everything they can control their SMV often beats out the tall white guy who settles into a 9-5 and slowly becomes fat.
As you can see, SMV is important and largely in your control. Some people start higher, some start lower. It’s unfair. You can ignore it or you can bitch about it, but at the end of the day neither one of those will get you laid. Self-pity is counterproductive * very unattractive. The best course of action is to be honest and work hard to improve it. Take positive action! Not only will this increase your ability to get laid, but also the quality of your life in general. In the next chapter, we will discuss how to calculate your SMV and practical steps you can take to improve it both short term & long term.
Other Important Considerations
i.
Your SMV will vary based on your target demographics and even further based on the pecific girl in question. Everything talked about earlier is based on averages. However, individually to some girls you might be a 6 and to some you might be a 9. Every female has “her type” and places importance on different charactieristics. For instance, a sorority girl on average will place more emphasis on a six pack than a milf who will on average place more emphasis on career. I you have a specific type, use this information to your advantage. For instance, if you are going after young college girls onfor one night stands, going to the gym and reaching a low body fat should be a big part of your strategy. ii. Your SMV will fluctuate based on your environment. Let’s use me as an example., I’m 5’11, Late 20’s, white, have an above average face, and in decent shape. In Los Angeles, , where all the models & actors live and constantly focus on improving their SMV, I might on average be a 6-6.5. In middle America, I might average 7-7.5. However, in some third world countries (like the Philippines), I would be
closer to a 9. This explains why so many men that can’t get laid In America, suddenly bang a few above average local girls when they travel to Latin America or South East Asia. Unfortunately, when they go back to their home town and can’t get laid they truly believe the problem is the local women! Instead of realizing that they were in a place where their SMV took an artificial boost and realizing they need to improve themselves to have the same results back home. iii. This effect holds true even on a more micro level. The most extreme example is fraternity guys from a big state school before and after graduation. During their college years they are on top of the social hierarchy and their SMV received a huge boost and even though their game might be average they still fuck a lot of hot girls due to the artificially high SMV. They then graduate and move to a big city. No one gives a fuck about their fraternity there and their entry level job at a big corporation puts them at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Furthermore, the level of competition is a lot higher as a lot of the other guys have been consciously/subconsciously working on increasing their SMV and have also developed better game. As a result, the fraternity guys wind up struggling and bitching about how it is so much harder to get girls after college, but in reality they just got too used to having artificially high SMV due to high social status & low competition. They got way too comfortable and never felt the need to put in work to maintain or improve their SMV.
How SMV Works in Online Dating A girl has very limited information to make her decision of your SMV. She doesn’t really know how athletic you are, how fashionable you are, if you are someone with high social status or just a nerd who lives in their mom’s basement. As a result, girls will think your SMV is whatever you portray it to be. An extreme example of this is a catfish. A guy might just take a bunch of pictures in his profile of a male mode. These pictures will likely also have an insane amount f social proof, leading to tons of matches and lots of girls wanting to meet up. This would not end well though, because as soon as he actually met up with the girl, they would flip the fuck out. In addition he would soon find his profile banned. However, most guys actually fall on the other end of the spectrum (often without realizing). They might be a “7” but portray their SMV to be a”4” through poor quality pictures and a ineffective, poorly written bio. I’ve seen this happen with them majority of my Skype clients. There would be a decent looking guy on the other end with a lot of positive attributes (DJ, musician, social connections, etc.). However, none of this was being communicated in their profile and thus perceived much lower than reality. The optimal play is to portray your SMV a point or two higher than it actually is (through a combination of amazing pics, exaggeration, and a few other techniques/tricks). This way you maximize the quantity & quality of girls you match with, but don’t have any freak-outs when it comes time to meet up. This is where common sense applies. If you are 40, it’s ok to use pictures when you were 35, but don’t use pics when you were 25. If you sued to be 8% body fat, it’s ok to use those pics if you are currently 15% body fat, but don’t use them if you are 35% body fat. You get the gist I hope. Portray yourself to be a point or two higher, not a night and day difference. I will use myself as an example. To the left is a selfie I took of myself while writing this very sentence. To the right is the primary picture I use on Tinder.
They are both of me, no more than a year apart. However, one is taken while in dire need of a shave. I look tired with poor lighting, exaggerating my blemishes and diminishing my chin and eyes. It is also a dark selfie suggesting I sat home alone on a Friday night making this Tinder profile. The other one I am dressed fashionably, out and about with people, the lighting is perfect, I look well kept, and it is taken with a professional DSLR camera. My friend took a bunch of pictures of me that day and out of aver a 100, I was able to pick the one where I had the perfect facial expression. If we assume that my SMV in LA is on average a 6.5, then to the left I am a 4 and to the right I am an 8. In the subsequent chapters, we will examine exactly what you need to do to portray your SMV a point or two higher as I did. Again, common sense will apply here. Very few girls will fault you for using really good pics of yourself, but most won’t like if you are 40 and fat, but use pics when you were 20 and jacked. So I am not fucked because I’m “ugly”? In case you are ugly or have just convinced yourself that you are, the answer is NO. Vast majority of guys are able to get a decent SMV through making some solid lifestyle changes. The “uglier” you are, the harder you will have to “work,” but it is doable. This will be explored a lot further in the next chapter. Combine that with kick ass pictures that portray your SMV to be a point or two higher, awesome inner/outer game, strong momentum and you can do quite well. GAME This is a huge category and has two overarching components to it: i.
Outer/Technical game – i.e. moving the interaction forward in the optimal way, knowing when to escalate, handling logistics, recognizing and handling objections, etc.
ii.
Inner Game – i.e. your confidence, composure, grounded ness, entitlement, ability to self-amuse, freedom from outcome, etc.
Both are crucial and feed off each other. Furthermore, your game in general will be to an extent tied to your SMV and momentum. For instance, if a guy decides to increase his SMV by changing his wardrobe and hitting the gym, he will suddenly find girls being more receptive to him at the bar. This will give him more freedom from outcome, which will in turn result in him getting laid more. This will feed into his momentum and increase his entitlement, which will further increase his results. You get the picture. In the next chapters, I will outline all the technical game you need to match, attract, meet, and fuck a lot of girls online, as well as some common inner game problems that will hold you back. That being said, true inner game is much harder to teach. It requires careful examination of behavioral patterns, letting go of past emotional traumas, self-awareness, etc. No product can do that for you. The good news is that for online game, technical game is more important than your inner game. This is one of those areas where you can do a significant amount “faking it till you make it.” For instance, through your pictures, bio, and messaging (outer game) you can get the girl to come straight to your place, you will likely close even if you are attached to the outcome and lack entitlement. Furthermore, once you start getting results and entering abundance a good amount of inner game issues will start to take care of themselves (at least partially). For instance, if you develop a rotation of 3-4 hot girls, then you will likely feel a lot more confident and free from outcome next time you go to the bar or approach a girl during the day. That is not to say you still shouldn’t keep working on yourself in other ways (meditation, psycho-therapy, mindfulness, etc). MOMENTUM This is often the most ignored momentum and the one that is most heavily tied into the other components. I recommend you take an honest look at your life. Generally, are you on an upward trajectory or a downward spiral? Are you more excited about the future or reminiscent of the past? Do you feel like you still haven’t reached your full potential or peaked a long time ago? Let’s take a closer look at how momentum can play a role in your ability to get laid, using an analogy: Two identical twins who had the same upbringing, same results with girls, same jobs, same everything. Twin #1 discovers this website and realizes that his ability to get laid is within his control. He starts going to the gym, dressing more fashionably and gets a trendy haircut to increase his SMV. This leads to him getting more attention from the women at his office and increased his confidence. He has been reading my lay reports and feels inspired enough to get professional pictures taken and updates his Tinder. This results in him getting a higher quality and quantity of matches than he’s ever been used to. He goes on a few dates and sleeps with some. This snaps him out of his daily daze and he starts becoming interested in self-development. He decides to buy my product and follows my strategies which results in him getting even more results on Tinder. This further increases his confidence and belief that he has control in his life.
He starts weight lifting regularly, meditating and learning technical skills related to his job. As a result, his mind and body start performing better, his sales number at work increases, and three months later he gets a promotion.
Twin #2 during the same time period, bored with his mundane day to day life, starts smoking weed and playing Xbox to distract himself. There’s a girl in his life that has always wanted him, she’s chubby and annoying, but he’s lonely so one night drunk and high he hooks up with her. One night turns into two and three and eventually he starts quasi-dating her. Perhaps he even makes a few attempts at living a healthier life. However his new girlfriend is always bringing home fast food and he quickly gives up and starts eating the same diet as her. This further kills his will power and he gives up going to the gym and his short lived healthier lifestyle. Aside from his lack of motivation, his mind and body start performing worse which leads to his sales numbers decreasing. A few months later, he is demoted to a more “appropriate” territory and has to move to a more rural part of town. He is too far from all of his friends and feeling lonely, invites to have his girlfriend move in with him. Every evening they sit around eating junk food and watching reality TV. Now put the both of those twins on a date and who do you think will do better? The famous saying “success breeds more success” is cliché, but very true. An amazing book on this topic is “The Winner Effect” by Ian H Robertson. To quote Ian “Success changes the chemistry of the brain, making you more focused, smarter, more confident and more aggressive. The effect is as strong as any drug. And the more you win, the more you will go on to win.” So what should you do to develop positive momentum? Learn and take action. By purchasing this product you have already taken a solid first step. Now you need to take even more action. Follow my suggestions and work on increasing you SMV short term & long term (outlined in the next chapter). Create an abundance of women in your life, don’t settle, and keep pushing the bar. This product will teach you all you need to know, but it’s still up to you to not be lazy and take action.
Write down some goals for yourself, some easily attainable short term goals and some more complex long term goals. I’ve been writing down goals for myself for a long time and consider it extremely important. Keep reading. If you feel like you don’t have the time, just replace half of your “tv time” with “reading time.” Read autobiographies of other successful people. Their stories will open up your mind and allow you to dream bigger and create goals you were always too subconsciously scared to make. Pursue a career you are passionate about and live somewhere that makes you happy. These things are obviously easier said than done. However, with enough patience and hard work they are very possible, just don’t let your fears hold you back. It wasn’t until I was 22 that I lives somewhere that I actually enjoyed (Los Angeles). I grew up in a small suburban town that I
hated. However, one night I decided to buy a one-way plane ticket to the other side of the country. Never looked back. The career part took even longer for me. I worked in the corporate world for a while. I had mixed feelings about it, but ultimately grew to dislike it. Eventually, I saw an opportunity to get out and start something I was passionate about (Playing With Fire). It wasn’t the safest option. In fact, it was the most risky one (no guaranteed salary, big paper trail which made going back to the corporate world impossible, etc). However, I have zero regrets.
(Chapter 3 – Calculating and Maximizing SMV) INTRO This chapter will provide a rough guide for calculating your SMV and then lay out strategies to maximize it immediately (few weeks) and long term (next few years). Keep in mind this is just a rough average. Your SMV is NOT fixed, but varies based on your location, demographics, and particular female. It cannot be overstated that some women will only date white guys, while others will strongly prefer black guys and others will not care about ethnicity at all. Here, we are just looking at averages. The Purpose: In the previous chapter we established that SMV is just as important as game and largely within your control. My belief is that the best way to make positive changes is to first understand & accept reality. And then have a clear roadmap of the kind/amount of “work” necessary before finally taking massive amounts of proper, calculated action. My goal is to empower you to change and give you all the tools necessary while providing you with correct expectations. Disclaimer: Parts of this (especially on race) are going to be things very few people talk about openly because they are controversial and have a high potential to be offensive. That is not my goal, by any stretch. I truly believe all races and ethnicities are created equal. The point is to provide you a realistic idea of the sexual market place, which according to almost every study is not always fair. CALCULATING YOUR SMV This chart will provide you a rough idea of your current SMV in a first world country. Each category is color coded, based on how much control you have over it & further explained in detail below with applicable examples.
Race This is the only category on the list that is almost completely outside your control. The reason, I say almost, is that with race it is more about what race you look like, not what race you are. Especially, with mixed races. Take a look at two examples below.
Both of the guys are 100% Indian. However, the guy to the left looks like he could easily pass for Caucasian, the guy to the right not so much. With online dating, the ethnicity you look like is more important than the ethnicity you actually are (although that can play a role as well). What does this mean for you? For purposes of calculation most people should still go with what their actual ethnicity is. However, if you take an HONEST LOOK and realize that you look like a “higher ranking” ethnicity, then you can assume the points for that one. The guy to the left could add 2 points for being white, while the guy to the right can’t. If you are a mixed ethnicity, go with the one you more closely look like. If you are black, then the amount of points to add will depend on how liberal the city you live in is. In super liberal cities, like Los Angeles and San Francisco add 3 points. If the city is more conservative, like Phoenix, add one point. For other minorities, the bad news is that...yes unfortunately your SMV takes a hit., The highest ranking group (white guys) have a two point advantage over the lowest ranking group (Asian/Indian guys). The good news is that it’s only two points. Fitness alone can fully make up for this difference and then some. Height This is an even bigger factor than race as noted by the 5 point difference between the two categories on each end of the spectrum. It should come as no surprise to you that women prefer tall guys...up to a point. This category is a combination of red/yellow because while you really have no control over your actual height, you do have a minimal amount of control of how tall you are perceived to be, which is what matters when it comes to SMV.
1. If you are naturally tall, collect the full points and skip to the next category. 2. If you are average height, then your best move is to just add an extra 1-1.5 inches to your height (both in your profile and if asked). Now, if you think this is unethical, keep in mind most girls expect you to exaggerate by an inch. If you are 5‘11 and say you are 5‘11 when asked, the girl might think you are actually 5‘9. The difference between the guys who get away with this 99.9% of the time and the guys who get horrified stares on dates is how much they lie. No girl will fault you for exaggerating an inch or two, but 6 inches is a different story. My advice is to limit it to one or two inches at the most. This means a 5‘11 guy becomes 6‘0 and so on. 3. If you are below average height, in addition to exaggerating an extra inch, consider getting elevator shoes or height increasing insoles. Yes, they exist and are quite Yes, they exist and are quite popular. Take a look at these inserts. You should be able to add half a point to your SMV.
They cost less than $50 and increase your height by two inches. Not a bad deal! I personally would not bother with these unless I was below average height (I am 5‘11...or wait, I meant 6‘0), but the choice is yours. A part of this also comes down to desired demographics, level of game and geography. For instance, I live in America, have pretty good game and prefer short and curvy girls. However, if I had lived in Scandinavia (where the average height is several inches higher), was new to game and likes tall blondes, I would probably have these already. A good idea is to wear these inserts next time you have pictures taken. You will come off taller in all of your pics without having to lie about anything. Face This is where it starts to get interesting. It may come as a surprise to some, but you have a level of control when it comes to your face and no, I am not talking abut cosmetic surgery. One of the biggest things you can do to improve the way your face looks is achieve a low body fat
percentage. Yes, it is possible to be 8% body fat and still be in the “ugly” category, but it is less common. Most guys when they start eating healthy and get a body fat in the single digits, they will jump up a category. Take a look at the example below:
Th is guy has gone from “average” to “handsome” just by significantly cutting his body fat in four months. Now obviously everything is relative and your starting point plays a huge roll. A guy who is 10% body fat and has a “handsome” face will not achieve the “model looking” category if he drops to 8% body fat. Nevertheless, the effects of getting to an optimal body fat and cleaning up your diet is huge. Aside from getting to an optimal body fat, there are a few other specific things each person can do to increase the attractiveness of their face. The most common is having a nicer, cleaner haircut. Start by going to a decent hair salon that has a good reviews ($25-$40) and asking for a recommendation. For a majority of guys a short and tight haircut is by far the best look (I personally ask for a skin fade). Take a look at how much better this guy looks after he got rid of the pussy-repelling comb on his head:
That’s at least a point increase in his SMV in less than 30 point for less than $40. Quite the ROI! The next step is to make sure your facial hair is on point. That could mean either trimming your bead or growing out a little scruff (especially if you have a baby face). If you are unsure whether your facial hair/haircut is an asset or liability, ask a few of your attractive female friends that you are sure will give you the “thug truth” or even post it on the PlayingFire Plus Facebook group. Below are pictures of one of my coaching clients. It took a few nudges from met to get him to shave off his moustache. However, the difference was quite noticeable.
“Face” SMV Improvement Strategies: 1. Get a Stylish Haircut (Short Term) 2. Grow/Trim Facial Hair (Short Term) 3. Achieve Clearer Skin through Healthy Diet (Long Term) 4. Achieve Body Fat Percentage between 6-10% (Long Term). Body This is one of the biggest factors you have FULL control over. First, I want to clear up what an “ideal” body is. It is not that of a bodybuilder of the roided out dude at the gym who makes loud noises with every set. Studies overwhelmingly conform that most females find the “lean muscular” look by far the most attractive. It is the guy who has a six pack and prominent V line. He looks strong and powerful, but fast and flexible at the same time. Think Daniel Craig in Casino Royale. They want the guy that can sprint a mile, fight the bad guy, pick up the car they are stuck under and have the energy to fuck the shit out of them afterwards. Here are two examples:
Ryan Reynolds and Daniel Craig are both ideal examples of what the “Lean Muscular” category is. Both of these guys have great muscle definition and low body fat. This is accomplished through a combination of progressive strength training and a careful diet. Since diet and weight lifting are such a big part of increasing your SMV (and thus being successful with women), I have created a full guide on this topic titled “How TO Get Jacked’ in the “Extras” section. The Next group is “Lean Lack Muscle” an “Muscle, Too Bulky.” In a nutshell, that is if you are lean, but lack the muscle (runners or swimmers) or have the muscle and lack leanness (lumberjack). Here are examples of both, respectively:
It’s pretty straightforward. If you look like the guy to the left, you need to put on lean muscle. If you look like the guy to the right, you need to cut fat without losing muscle (exact steps for both are shown in the “How To Get Jacked” guide). Currently, I fall into the “Lean Lack Muscle” category since I am 8% body fat , but still lack muscle definition. However, when I first started out I would’ve just fallen into the “Skinny/Average” category. Now, this is an area where I had every excuse in the world! Severe pre-existing injuries from snowboarding, numerous diet restrictions, etc. However, I still made it one of my top goals to get this area “handled.” Due to all m injuries and years of scar tissue, a lot of the more straightforward weight-training programs (Stronglifts 5x5) dis not work for me, but through patience and discipline I was able to put on muscle (albeit more slowly) and improve my physique. Take a look at the difference:
I went from looking like a starving Nigerian child to somewhat of an athlete. It might take me another year of hard work, but soon enough I‘ll join Daniel Craig in the “Lean/Muscular” category. If you want to skyrocket your results, you should as well. Your “Tribe” A little harder to put into words, but it’s essentially a culmination of your fashion, looks, career and attitude. In high school, there were “nerds,” goths, “theater kids”, “preps’ and “jocks.” Some girls would only date within their tribe, but GENERALLY SPEAKING being a “jock” was the most desired tribe. To a lesser extent, the same effect still takes place with adults. Girls still generally prefer guys in their own tribe (i.e. Goths will go for other Goths). However, a good amount will also desire guys from “higher ranking tribes.” The best tribe to be in is what I call “Exciting Professional” Think of a doctor who travels all over the world curing diseases, a pilot who has been to every continent or an executive at a hip company who goes to all kinds of exclusive events. The epitome of this would be Christian Grey, the main character in 50 Shades of Grey. He is the CEO of a huge company, dresses well, is athletic, flies his own helicopter, goes to cool events, etc. If you want the extra points you don’t necessarily have to do all of those things, but it helps to be perceived as though you do. Here are two examples of how a guy in this tribe will appear on Tinder:
The next best tribe is “Bad Boy”. This is the guy who rides a motorcycle and has a six pack. He is sexually confident and has a “no fucks given” attitude. The actor James Dean or Hank Moody from Californication are perfect examples. This also happens to be the tribe I have placed myself in. I use the world “placed” because in real life I am not fully in that category, but maybe 6070%. No one is. We are all complex human beings, not one dimensional characters. However, it is the category I am closest to and through careful picture selection, I am able to pull off this look quite well. My profile is to the To the right is another example of a guy in this tribe. As you can imagine, we both do quite well on Tinder.
G enerally speaking, the top two tribes are “exiting Professional” and ‘Bad Boy”. As you might have noticed, there is a lot of potential for overlap. You might find yourself 80/20 or eve 50/50 and that’s okay. In addition, there are different dimensions of each one of those tribes. For instance, a DJ could easily fit into “Exciting Professional” with the right kind of pictures. Don’t obsess over details here, but instead focus on the general vibe. This category is essentially a culmination of all the other ones. Through a combination of fashion, fitness, and lifestyle improvements anyone can be or at the very least, appear to be in one of these two tribes. The next tribe in the hierarchy is “Cool Creative.” Think of a guitarist in a band. There is a lot of potential overlap between that and the top two ranking tribes, especially “Bad Boy.” The difference could be as simple as a six pack and more “bad-ass” pictures. Another reason to make fitness a top priority. Fashion This is one of the easiest categories to improve overnight. I have to admit that I am one of the most fashion retarded people out there and truly hate dressing up. However, i do it when I need to (i.e. for Tinder pics) and you should too. A good starting point would be to ask a few of your most fashionable friends. If you don’t have any of those, there are a myriad of resources online. My recommendation is “AlphaM” on YouTube. To the left is an example of a guy who increased his SMV through great fashion. To the right are two different guys before and after a wardrobe change (easily increasing their SMV by two points)
Dressing well will not only help with your Tinder profile, but also when you approach a girl on the street. And people, in general, will be much more inclined to listen to what you have to say when you are dressed nicely. The general rule of picking out clothes is “form fitting” and “matching.” Lots of guys make the mistake of dressing too baggy! Don’t be one of them. You want clothes that sit well on your body, especially if you are in good shape. Custom tailored clothing is the best, but if that’s outside your price range (as it is for me), H&M and Nordstrom Rack are good stores to check out. Also, this should go without saying, keep your clothes clean and ironed. I have picked up girls in cum stained pajamas, but it’s not optima. Amplifier: Status and Fame There is a category I haven’t mentioned yet and its effect can range from mild to very extreme. It is “Status/Fame”. The exact impact of status/fame is hard to quantify with points, but believe me if can be huge. For instance, Jonah Hill probably has a natural SMV of a 3 (without this amplifier). No matter how good his game was he would struggle to bang an attractive woman. Put us in a bar and I would kick his ass ! Without fame, that is. Given his fame his SMV received such a significant boost. He could easily bang more girls than me (at least in America). Guys line up for girls and girls line up for famous guys. Fortunately, you don’t have to become ac celebrity to benefit from this amplifier. Living a high value lifestyle (travel, cool parties & events, hanging out with hot girls) will boost your SMV. Having pictures that show it will allow you to transfer this effect to your dating profile. The
epitome of a guy who realized this and took advantage of it would be Dan Bilzerian. He is 5‘9 and average looking. His natural SMV is 7.5-8 largely due to his physique (which is largely due to steroids). Nevertheless, he created a high value lifestyle for himself (parties, travel, hot girls, epic adventures) and took pictures of all of it. Those pictures made him famous and as a result boosted his SMV to 10+. Now he has legions of hot girls CONTACTING HIM for sex. Think about it, this is online game on steroids. In a few interviews he acknowledges that he did it all so that he could fuck and party with hot girls with minimal effort. Mission accomplished. OVERVIEW ON SMV You should now have a clearer idea of what exactly determines a man’s SMV as well as a rough idea of where you rank. I use the word rough, because as previously mentioned, your SMV will fluctuate based on the woman, geography, and even micro-environment. If you want an additional guide head over to http://revolutionarylifestyledesgin.com/calculate-maximize-sexualmarket-value/. If have learned a lot from this guy and there will be a lot of overlap between our two methodologies (although I like to think mine is more accurate and easier to understand). Furthermore, you should have no doubts that a significant amount of this is within your control. The amount you increase you SMV is going to be determined by how closely you follow this advice and the amount of work you are willing to put in. What should you do? Short Term: You can start by getting your fashion in-check. Get some outside feedback either from knowledgeable friends or the PlayingFire Plus Facebook group. Make sure that nobody can say you dress like a kid/slob/dork. Get a trendy haircut. Don’t let your facial hair (or lack of) hold you back. If you are white and pale, get a tan. There’s nothing gay about using tanning beds as long as you don’t look like a tomato afterwards. If you are short, consider getting some shoe inserts. For the vast majority of guys, there are (1.5-3) potential points of SMV increase just right there. Don’t leave all that potential pussy on the table! Long Term: This is the stuff you have to work harder for, but it’s also the stuff that will significantly improve the quality of your life outside of just getting laid. Your health, career, relationships and even happiness will all improve when you get in amazing shape and reach a body fat in the single digits. This will require you to since adopt a healthy diet and get progressively stronger, which has been scientifically proven to have a very wide array of benefits: More energy, increased libido, better focus, decreased risk of most health problems, improved mood, better cognition, better sleep and the list goes on. Did I mention a lot more girls will want to fuck you? I recognized the importance of eating healthy in my early 20‘s (5-6 years ago). All throughout my life, I had been plagued with constant colds. Going to university in freezing cold Boston combined with constant partying caused me to spend months with a sore throat an a runny nose. It got to the point where I actually started worrying I might have AIDS (true story). Why else would I get sick at the drop of a hat and spend weeks recovering? I had no idea that my immune system was in a constant state of chaos due to the modern American diet.
One day, I read something about the benefits of the Paleo Diet. I had never heard about it. I spent a few hours researching it. I was amazed by all the stories heard. Most interestingly, a few people wrote about how the duration/frequency of their colds had significantly decreased. This was music to my ears and I decided to try out being Paleo and within a few months I pretty much stopped getting colds. I also had more energy. Over then next few years I went through periods of various levels of observance, but for the past three years or so I have been strictly following a variation of the Paleo Diet (BulletProof). I very rarely get sick. Maybe once or twice a year and my colds will be gone after a day or two. Night and day difference. Fitness was a different story. I thought lifting weights was a waste of time up until two years ago. Part of this was my ego. I had been living with lots of snowboarding injuries and as a results of deconditioning had very little upper body strength. I heavy into pickup and bought into the “looks don’t matter at all” marketing pitch. It was what I wanted to hear, but unfortunately it wasn’t true. As I started getting into fitness I grew to love it and all of its associated benefits. I have never met a man who didn’t (after a pain period, at least). I wish I realized this earlier in life. I firmly believe that getting in amazing shape, which to reiterate doesn’t mean looking like bodybuilder, should be a part of ever man’s mission. Aside from all of the previously mentioned benefits, Tinder and dating in general is ALOT easier if you have a six pack. There’s no excuse for every guy reading tis to not be in, at least, decent shape six months from now. (Chapter 4 - Tinder Overview) Intro By this point you should have a solid understanding of how the sexual marketplace works and what determines your ability to get laid. You should also have an idea of your SMV and the actions you need to take to improve it. A woman on Tinder doesn’t have a wealth of information to determine your SMV. She has your school, job, Instagram, your bio, your messages and your pictures (by far the most important part). Through all this, you can manipulate your SMV to be a point or two higher than it is in real life to create the best possible impression that is both realistic and congruent. The two golden rules of making a great profile are simply: 1. Portray your SMV to be as high as possible. 2. Be congruent.
L et’s take a look at my profile again. Pictures 1 and 2 are great shots of me. I am dressed fashionably, have good body language & look natural. Picture 3 is a nice abs selfies that I found online. That’s right, I strategically used a fake picture. It works for me because my body in real life is not too far off from that (and grows closer every day). Picture 4 is another great headshot where I am dressed fashionably and look good. Picture 5 is actually of RSD Max, but looks very believable since we are similar height and I have already created an “adventurous vibe” with my other pictures. I put down the most prestigious company in my city (yes, it helps). My university is pretty well known so I tell the truth here. My bio is very sexual and screens hard, but at the same time is very congruent with the rest of my profile. The overall impression here is that of a good looking bad boy who is sexually confident and experienced. According to the chart in the previous chapter, my SMV in real life is around a 6.5 in Los Angeles. With my profile I portray myself to be closer to an 8 (more muscular, high status job, good quality face pics, better fashion). Furthermore, everything looks extremely congruent,. i doubt an girl has ever looked at my profile and thought something was off. However, if I had put a cute puppy pic in here it would be very incongruent with my 50 Shades of Grey bio. Girls would think how this guy is saying all this dirty sexual shit, but he is cuddling a little pug and looks like a total sweetheart. This doesn’t make sense.
Now, let’s take a look at my Bumble profile. Bumble is generally more dating oriented so I modified my approach. A lot of things are similar, like my prestigious job at Warner Bros and most of the pictures. However, there are a few key differences. I leave out the fake shirtless selfie and replace it with a fake cliff jumping picture. My bio is a lot more humorous and flirty, rather than dominant and sexual. The vibe here is adventurous and exciting, yet funny and sexual. Nevertheless, I am still portraying a high SMV and I am also congruent. Again, the two golden rules of Tinder or essentially any online dating app is to portray as high of a SMV as possible and to be congruent. Following these two rules there are a variety of approaches one can take before deciding which one is right for you. Let’s examine what the market on Tinder is like: Types of Girls on Tinder 1. Explicitly dtf - These are the girls who are very sex positive and are completely unabashed about their desire to get laid or find fuck buddies. They are the most straightforward, but are also the smallest percentage and can be a little flaky. Two examples are here and here. 2. Implicitly dtf - These girls are looking for the same thing as the “explicitly dtf” girls, but they won’t outright admit it, instead they will hint at it (at least initially). They are either not as sexually liberated and are concerned about appearing like a slut. They find talking about sex
outright to be “tacky” or “classless”. They might have “no hookups” in their profile or if you ask them what they look for they might dodge the question. Two examples are here and here. 3. Subconsciously dtf - This is one step further. These girls want to fuck, but are in various stage of denial about it due to social conditioning. They likely won’t even admit to themselves that they want to get laid and thus say things like “I’m just looking for friends” or “just want a hiking buddy.” They will most likely not come straight to your place and will have a series of objections that you will need to handle. Example here. 4. Dating/Relationship Oriented - This is a big category. These are the girls whose primary motivation is not sex. They are on Tinder because they want a boyfriend.. Some of them might be prude, others used to be in the first two categories and have grown tired of hookups. 5. Time Wasters - The biggest category. These are the girls who have no intention of meeting up with you for any reason. They are on Tinder either for validation or to get more Instagram followers. They will give you short one word answers throughout the interaction, avoid investing, and drop off as soon as you try to make plans. These are generally the five categories of girls you will find on Tinder. Things are not always completely black and white. For instance, some “Dating/relationship” girls might make exceptions for guys they find to be particularly attractive. Some “subconsciously dtf” girls might start turning into “implicitly dtf” girls as they grow attached to you. Some “implicitly dtf” girls might start letting you in on their deepest sexual fantasies once they are confident you will not slut shame them... you get the picture. Time Wasters and Dating/Relationship Oriented girls make up the overwhelming majority of girls on Tinder. If your goal is to get laid, then you are left with the ‘Explitcly dtf” , “Implicitly dtf” and “Subconsciously dtf” categories. It can help to think of these three on a spectrum. All the way to the left are the very sexually liberated and blunt girls and to the right are the girls who will go to great lengths to hide their sexuality from you and even themselves. The harder you screen the more likely you are to lose girls in the “Subconsciously dtf” and possibly even the “implicitly dtf” girls. Take me for instance. On my Tinder I chose the approach of screening really hard. As a result, I lose A LOT of potential matches, but due to the fact that I live in a major U.S. City (Los Angeles), I’m very congruent and have portrayed a fairly high SMV. I still get enough girls who pass through the net. On the other hand, with Bumble I screen significantly less, casting a much wider net. Initially, I tried having the same bio on Bumble but would get low quality matches very sporadically. This is due to the fact that the girls on Bumble in general fall much more to the right on the “dtf spectrum”. It quickly became apparent that if I wanted to be successful on this medium, I couldn’t screen as hard. When deciding what general approach to take, it is important to consider the following three factors: 1) Number of Matches/SMV - Do you have more matches then you know what to do with or are you struggling to get even one? If you are overwhelmed with matches and lack the time to
talk and meet with all of them, then screening harder might be the right strategy. If the opposite is true, then it’s important to keep the net as wide as possible. 2) Personality/Congruence - Everything must be congruent. You might be sexually dominant, but if you are smiling or look goofy in your pictures, then my 50 Shades of Grey bio will be extremely incongruent and result in very few matches. 3) Geography - This is a very important factor. I quickly learned this lesson during my trip to Colombia. The approach I successfully used in Los Angeles was not effective here. There is almost no “explicitly dtf” girls. Yes, the women were just as sexual (if not more so), but yet when asked the vast majority of them were looking for “just friends”. I quickly toned down my profile and switched up my messages to catch a much wider net and as a result wound up sleeping with the huge pool of “subconsciously dtf” girls. More details here. Summary To get the maximum quality and quantity of matches on Tinder you must portray as high of an SMV as possible (covered in next few chapters) and be very congruent while doing so. To get the best ROI on your time you need to pick an approach appropriate for you and your target market while quickly screening out “Time Wasters” (covered in the text game section). (Chapter 5 - Picture Selection) Intro By now you should have solid understanding of what determines your ability to get laid, your SMV in real life and how that translates to Tinder. The two golden rules of Tinder, portraying maximum SMV, congruence and an understanding of the type of girls on Tinder. In this chapter, we will cover exactly how to select the kind of pics that will maximize your SMV. Three principles of a good picture 1. Good Quality - The picture itself should be of decent quality. This means that it is not grainy or pixelated. Ideally you want a quality DSLR camera and good lighting. Look at the difference between these two pictures below. One was taken with a regular phone camera without attention to lighting. The other one was with a quality DSLR camera with perfect lighting.
2. You look good - The picture should be the most attractive version of you possible. This means that you don’t have a weird facial expression, poor posture, bad outfit, poor grooming, etc. It also means that you are the star of the picture and you are clearly visible. Take a look at these two pictures of me both shot within minutes of each other (with same equipment). To the left I look scrounged over and displaying poor body language. My eyes are half open and I am looking down, which makes me appear timid and depressed. Now contrast that to the one on the right. I look attractive, confident, and intense.
3. Looks Natural & Not Posed - One of the most important factors is how “natural” does this picture look. The more it looks like you didn’t take the picture (or had it taken) on purpose, the better. You want it to look like you were just living life and someone crept up on you with a camera and took a snap of you being you. It’s a little bit of a “catch-22“ since you want to picture to be high quality and for you to look good, but yet still feel like it “just happened”
However, if you take enough pictures you should be able to find a few ones just like this. Take a look at the difference between the two pics below. Both were taken during the same photo shoot with the same exact camera. However, the one to the right looks significantly more natural.
Putting Together A Profile Now that you understand what makes a good picture in general, let’s take a look at how all this comes together in a profile. You want a minimum of four pictures. Ideally five or six. Don’t feel like you have to fill every spot either. After the fourth picture, only add additional ones if they are neutral or better than the ones you already have. One bad picture can significantly reduce your results. In addition, you want to have as many natural looking pictures as possible. If you have one picture that looks very staged like a headshot or a shirtless selfie, then that is acceptable. But if all your pictures look staged, then the girls’ perception of your SMV will take a massive hit. First Picture: Should be JUST OF YOU, it can be an activity picture, but not other people. Your face should be very clearly visible and ideally at least a part of your body. If you are fit or average, show that you aren’t fat. If you aren’t fat or very skinny, make sure it’s as flattering as possible. Second Picture: Should also be JUST OF YOU and your face should also be very clearly visible. However, it should be different style than the first one. If the first one is just a headshot, this
should include your body as well or an activity picture. If the first one included your whole body, then this one should be closer zoomed in on your face, etc. Rest of Pictures: These can be activity pics, group pics, or just cool pics in general. You want to show that you are a normal and high value guy. If you are going to slip in a fake abs pic, this is where it should go. Some ideas are: jet skiing, skydiving, chilling on a boat with some girls, riding a motorcycle, working out or even just walking down the street in a suit or nice outfit. Let’s take a look at some successful profiles, notice how they all follow that same pattern:
COMMON MISTAKES (DON’Ts) Here are other common mistakes the vast majority of guys make on Tinder. Some of these might sound obvious or repetitive, but I want to make sure you are not one of them. 1. Don’t be shirtless unless you look good - Shirtless pics aren’t for everyone. In fact, they were only for the small percentage of the male population who has a six pack and looks great without a shirt (covered in SMV chapter) 2. Don’t use group pics where it’s hard to tell who you are - this is especially important for the first two pictures. You could have an extremely high SMV, but if a girl can’t tell who you are or what your face looks like, she will automatically swipe left half the time. 3. Don’t have a picture of you and one other girl - A lot of girls will automatically assume she is your girlfriend and swipe left. The only exception is if it looks like it’s at some kind of event and it’s obvious that she is not your girlfriend.
4. Don’t have any pics with babies or children. Even if you are a single father, you don’t want the girl to know that right away. It will lose you a lot of matches. 5. Don’t use pics with ugly women. Sounds mean, but it’s true. Unless the girls in your group pics are 7+, you are better off not posting them at all. 6. Don’t post pics of you hovering around drunk girls at a club. Girls are excellent at reading into the vibe of a picture and this will be obvious. If you want to show preselection, it’s better to have pictures with girls during the daytime. For club pics, pay extra attention to the vibe Even if the girls are part of your social circle, what does the picture make it look like? 7. Don’t use multiple pics with the same shirt - this is another small detail most girls will pick up on. If you have two amazing pictures where you happen to be wearing the same outfit, don’t put them next to each other. 8. Avoid selfies - Avoid selfies unless it’s a high quality picture of you doing something cool like skydiving, traveling, etc. It may also be permissible if it’s a good quality body/six pack picture. Though it is better to have someone else take it. Or if it is something like an “accidental” beach photo, etc. showing off your great body. Actions Steps Now that you understand what makes a good picture and what you need to create a succesful profile, let’s get down to specific action steps you should take. Step 1: Get high quality photos (or skip to Step 2 if you already do). For your photoshoot bring 3 nice outfits and have your hair/grooming on point. If you are not extremely tight on ash (i..e close to starving), invest in a professional photography session. It’ll be worth it. Choosing a photographer can be very hit or miss. Generally the better ones will charge at least a few hundred dollars (in the states), but you might be able to get away with less than a $100 if they are just starting out (again hit or miss). Get a friend/fuck buddy with a DSLR camera and a good eye. Believe it or not, the first pic in my profile was taken by an artsy girl I met on Tinder who became my booty call. She is into photography and had a decent camera. The fourth picture in my profile was taken by a friend of mine with a DSLR camera. It is only the motorcycle picture that was done by a professional photographer. My neighbor was trying to grow her portfolio and hooked me up with a free photoshoot. Step 2: Sort the photos based on the things previously mentioned in this chapter. Many should be very easy to rule out. Send the top choices to four or five honest, attractive, female friends that are in your target demographic (i.e. if you are going for easy lays, don’t send your pics to your prude college ex). This may sound daunting to some, but trust me it is by far the best way to find the top photos and the vast majority of the girls you know will be happy to help (girls love shit like this). Girls will be able to pick out on subtle, but important details that 99% of guys will miss. To this day, I regularly get my female friends / fuck buddies to give me feedback on my
photos and my clients’ photos. As an additional benefit, this might get ex-booty calls wanting to fuck you again. Note: This is one of the main reasons I got really good. I was relentless in getting feedback and still am to this day. Here are some examples: 1.
Random girl I went to high school with and barely knew, getting feedback on a client:
2.
Another girl from high school.
3.
Girl I randomly banged off Tinder a while back. Trying to decide between two similar photos.
4.
Current Tinder bootycall. Getting an opinion on results of a photoshoot I did
5.
Girl I hooked up with in Colombia and stayed in touch with, getting feedback on a client and myself.
6.
Ex-booty call I lost touch with. Trying to figure out which fake abs pic and headshots are the best:
Hopefully you see the trend. I try to be very objective, get massive feedback and have zero qualms utilizing any resources at my disposal. This is how you need to be as well. Don’t be
afraid to message the girls you know or are even just randomly friends with on facebook and ask for feedback. This is how you get the best answers and go from having a profile that gets 3 matches a day to one that gets 10+ a day. Summary Use pictures that are high quality, look natural and are the best representation of you. This means your style, hair, and body language portrays confidence. Avoid the common mistakes most guys make on Tinder and reference the general formula that works for the successful profiles, previously shown. Send everything to at least four or five girls that fit your target demographic (age, attractiveness, and sluttiness level) and get feedback. If you lack the necessary pictures, get a professional photo shoot done. If you are too broke to afford one of those, get one of your buddies with a quality camera and a good eye to hook you up.
(Chapter 6 - Writing Your Bio)
Intro This is the part guys commonly obsess over. As if a girl will ignore the fact that you are out of shape and dress like a kid because you have a magical bio. Or conversely, some of our clients will have a high SMV in real life, but have horrible pictures and hope that the bio alone will save them. Your bio is very important, but will not make up for terrible pictures. The saying “ a picture is worth 1000 words” applies even more on Tinder. Working to achieve a high SMV and then getting great pictures is obviously crucial. However, there are things a bio can do: 1.
2.
3.
Screen - You can screen very mildly by throwing in an innocuous sexual joke or as I do, very explicitly. I have a very explicit 50 Shades of Grey style story in my bio to screen for submissive DTF girls (that is not a big category). However, keep in mind that this only works for me because my bio is very congruent with my pictures. Congruent enough with my behavior in real life (I am very sexually confident). Also, keep in mind that I live in Los Angeles. During my travels in Colombia, I was getting close to no matches with this bio and changed it to something a lot more innocuous. Make her curious & get her to message you first – A conversation where a girl messages you first is significantly more likely to lead to sex than one where you message first. Those are just the odds we’ve seen. For that reason, it makes sense to have a hook in your bio, something that makes it easy for her to think of something to message you first with. For me, my 50 Shades of Grey bio serves that purpose. A girl who does swipe right on this bio has a lot of talking points to use to message e first: “did you write that yourself,” “is this real,” “how do I sign up?”, etc. DHV – This is a big one. On one hand, you don’t want to come off as if you are trying hard to list your accomplishments (to qualify for her). However, if you can slip in DHV’s in a subtle, non-try hard way then you will get points. For instance, my bio DHVs me in a few specific ways: it shows that I understand female sexuality, that I am a good writer and that I am bold & sexually confident. Sexual experience & confidence can create comfort & open girls up more sexually to you. I revised it numerous times based on feedback, to not only screen, but specifically tap into a woman’s sexual fantasies. If my bio was “looking for a girl I can fuck the shit out of” I would be screening just as hard, but I wouldn’t be DHVing myself or giving a girl as much of a reason to message me first. **Another big DHV could be humor. If you can make a girl laugh with your bio without coming across as “try hard,” then you are going to get extra points. Humor & wit can imply high intelligence. There will be less worry of you being a creep.
4.
DLV – Unfortunately, most bios I see don’t accomplish the first three. Instead, they DLV the person and lose matches that they might have gotten if they had just left everything blank. Common DLV examples in Bio’s I see are: immature guy humor that girls don’t get, over qualification (treating it like a resume), over investing (making it seem like you take Tinder super seriously), talking about things that are creepy/weird, etc.
Successful Bios
First, we start out with mine. As previously mentioned, it screens extremely hard. Gives the girl plenty of things to message me first about and DHV’s me based on sexual experience and boldness (note, this will only be a a DHV if the girl is sexual herself. To a boring conservative girl this might be a DLV, but I want to screen them out anyway). The second bio screens a lot less, but still has enough of a sexual undertone to get rid of a good amount of prudes. Despite how short it is, there is plenty of nuggets for the girl to use to message first “where are you taking me?”, “I have a nice bum for you to hold”, “are you just going to kiss my neck,” etc. And it indirectly DHV’s the person by tapping into most girls’ fantasy of “having a hot guy stand behind them and hold them in some exotic destination while watching the sunset.” The third bio doesn’t screen sexually, but screens for “funniness/desire to party.” There is a strong correlation between girls who want to “party” and “hookup”. This is mild screening, but the person takes a different approach going for more of the “Exciting Professional” than “Bad Boy” tribe. As a result, he is likely to get more matches, but some of them won’t be DTF. The bio also gives a bunch of things for the girls to message first about like “what kind of music do you make?”, what clubs do you DJ at?” “can you take me to these parties?” and
DHV’s based on having status in the nightlife scene. This type of bio will be especially effective for tourists who don’t know much about the scene but are looking to go out. All three of these bios work, but they work because they are extremely congruent with each person. If I copied bio #3, girls would think “how is this guy a popular DJ but has no pics of himself partying or actually making music? He is probably a fuckboy who is trying to lure girls by seeming cool.” On the other hand, if the guy in the third bio copied y bio, it would also be quite incongruent (although, a bit less so). Girls would think “this guy looks like a DJV, but all he is doing is talking about sex. He must not be that good because otherwise, he would already be getting plenty of girls. He is probably just trying to overcompensate.” Bad Bios Now, let’s take a look at some bad bios and examine the difference:
Manny comes off as extremely needy and hardcore DLV’s himself but implying he has no women/friends in his life to even eat with. Even if that is the case, telling the girl that will lose you major points. Jimmy’s bio is extremely long, which comes off as overly invested. He tries to paint the idea that he has a life, but most girls reading that will think the opposite “wow this guy has no life.” Furthermore, despite the barrage of text, there is not on piece of exciting info that will jump out to a girl and make her want to message him first. Nor is there anything that DHV’s him directly or indirectly. Matt makes the very typical mistake of thinking “nerdy guy humor” will appeal to girls. It won’t (the majority of time unless the girl is a giant nerd herself). In fact, most girls will read that and think “this guy is weird and I have no idea what he is talking about.” Crafting your Bio
By now you should be seeing a clear difference between a good bio and a bad bio. A good bio is succinct, exciting, DHV’s you and usually screens the girl in some way. Most importantly, a good bio is congruent to you. This is why copy and pasting my bio will only work for a small amount of people who give off a similar vibe. On the flip side a bad bio will be one or more of the following: needy, full of obvious or subtle DLV’s, too lengthy, corny/cheesy, nonsensical, boring, too “try-hard” and usually long-winded (TL;DR). Here are specific things to consider when crafting your bio: 1) Your Vibe – this goes back to congruence. Do you give off a cool/musician vibe in your pictures? Then build off that. Do you look like a frat boy? Then cocky/funny humor. Mixed in with glimpses of “passion” might be your best bet. 2) Your Target Market – if you are an older guy, looking for girls your age, then talking about partying is not going to be that effective. On the other hand, if you are 18 and are looking to bang girls at your university, don’t try to get too deep (unless you have the brooding musician look). There is a lot of universal overlap. Women are women at the end of the day. However, keep your target market in mind as well. For instance, if you are looking for dating/relationships you want to stay away from sexual talk, but focus fmore on humor and subtle DHVs, etc. 3) Your Location – I mentioned in the previous chapter that my 50 Shades of Grey bio was not working in Colombia. That doesn’t mean I was going for a different type of girl or that girls in Colombia are less sexual (probably the opposite). However, that kind of directness comes off too uncalibrated in their culture. The girls there want to be romanced a little more before finally giving in. So I changed my bio to be more humorous and subtly DHV myself (love of travel, that I’m American, etc). 4) Your Strengths – This goes back to DHV’s. Most people have a few and sometimes they can be huge. I had a coaching client who had won a Grammy. I told him right away, we have to find a way to subtly include that in your profile in a non-try hard / non-bragging way. A common one that has a lot of value is travel. Travel implies a sense of adventure, financial freedom, knowledge of culture, etc. The key is to display your strengths & value. You don’t want your bio to sound like a resume. You can also heavily exaggerate to a degree. For instance, I speak English and Russian fluently and a bit of Spanish, but I might say “TriLingual” and if a girl asks what languages I speak I will say “English, Russian, and gringo Spanish” or I have traveled to maybe 10 or 11 countries in my life, but I will say “World traveler of 20 countries.” Online dating is incredibly competitive & most people exaggerate (or straight up life).
Case Examples Let’s take a look at some case examples of my coaching clients and how I revamped their bio.
John was a pretty interesting guy. Super into various forms of Latin dancing (DHV, especially with Latinas). However, it was all lost in this cluster fuck of a profile. It was information overload and hard to read. Furthermore, it looked overly invested (i.e. try hard) and a little feminine with all the emoticons. I got rid of the stuff that was not going to be interesting or a DHV and put it all together much more succinctly. I threw a joke in tat the end “no felonies” to show a little humor. Then I added onto his biggest DHV being able to dance really well and gave it a lot more attention but in a non-qualifying way. This will one only DHV him but give the girl a very strong hook to message him with: “can you teach me salsa?”, “how do I apply?”, “do you know xxx dance?”, etc. Case #2: Mike
Mike was an average early 20’s kid who had just graduated from college and was working his first job in a new city. His profile was a complete mess though. It was extremely nonsensical, very hard to follow and screamed: “I’m a Nike kid that doesn’t get laid.” The whole thing was a giant DLV starting with the part about him missing his mom. First thing I did was look at his actual DHV’s. He had just moved to Seattle which is actually a DHV because it paints the picture that he might be a high-value guy who only needs to be on a dating site because he is new to the city and may get snatched up soon. It also gives girls an easy opener “where are you originally from?”. I threw in his height and the fact that he was bi-lingual. Then instead of listing his country, I had him put a flag of that country to make it more mysterious and to give girls another good reason to message him “what country is that flag?”. Notice how in both cases I didn’t make the list of DHV’s seem try-hard or qualifying. Instead, it appears as the person is just sharing small aspects of their life, which just happens to be high value. Then with Mike for the hook, I modified a lyric from a famous TLC song “No Scrubs.” This will not resonate with every girl but is innocuous enough not to lose him matches. However, the ones who get it will find it quite funny. To add to the congruence, I had him make that song his anthem.
Case #3: Jeff
Jef f was a white guy visiting Thailand for a few months. As you can imagine is a huge advantage. His profile while being pretty bad in any part of the world was particularly terrible for his demographic. Asians, in general, have a pretty hard understanding of sarcasm & self-deprecation which made up 80% of his profile. This was a big mine of potential misunderstanding and lost opportunities. The first thing I did was point out that he was actually living in the city that girls would be seeing him in. This would make him stand out from the majority of other backpackers and reduce sex tourist concerns. Then I threw in a bunch of DHVS and ended it off with the hook “amazing cuddler.” In western countries, that would not do much. However, in Asian countries that would give girls a nice excuse to get together for a “cuddling session.” (Chapter 7 – Other Factors) Now that you have solid pictures picked out and a god bio written. Let’s take a look at other things that will affect your ability to get matches and/or laid on Tinder. Algorithm
There is a huge obsession I see amongst some of my clients in trying to “figure out” the Tinder algorithm. I see a lot of speculation on forums about the optimal right swipe to left swipe ratio or the ideal number of swipes a day. I’ve encountered a lot of people who gave me conflicting pieces of information based on “friends of friends” who worked at Tinder. At the end of the day most of it is mental masturbation and over analyses. Here’s what I know that is relevant to you: Tinder calculates a secret score for every user. This score will affect the attractiveness of girls you see and the frequency at which your profile will appear. The logic is to match people of similar attractiveness and to show the “hotties” most often to make the average quality seem better to users of both genders. The exact formula for this score, I don’t know. However, I can tell you that your pics and bio will play the biggest role. You can take a male model’s Tinder pictures and swipe right on everything and still be at the top of the food chain. Too many people get caught up confusing on their right swipe to left swipe ratio that they completely forget that their pictures suck. Here is my advice: 1) Swipe right on the girls you would bang and left on the girls you wouldn’t. Simple as that. It’s what I do and it works pretty well for me. 2) If you are getting lower than usual results for a few days, then try slightly changing the age range. This acts as a restart button and if your Tinder queue was stuck (i.e. girls who liked you already, not showing up at the top of the list), this will put them there. 3) If you have had a shitty profile for a long time (over a few months) that god bad results, create a new Facebook account with a different last name and use it to make a brand new Tinder. This acts as a “hard reset” and will allow your user score to start from scratch. If you have had a bad profile for a long time, your user score might be so low that it will take a long time for your new profile to recalibrate. Furthermore, you get a second chance with all the girls who swiped left on your old shitty profile.
Work This is often a very underutilized section. Most people leave it blank or put something that adds no value “marketing intern” or “assistant.” I personally, took the opposite approach and experimented with completely bullshitting the most high status job in my city that is still believable….”Marketing Consultant” at “Warner Bros Studios.” This led me to getting close to double the number of matches overnight. Now, this was partially sly effective because I live in Los Angeles (city full of hot struggling actresses/singers looking for anything to get a leg up). I doubt in any other place of the world a career at the coolest/prestigious company will have this much of an effect. However, it will still definitely help. My advice is that unless you already have a super badass job, you pick the “coolest” company in your city and put down a decent position there, that can still be believable and ideally something you can bullshit about (although, you will very rarely ever have to). For me, that was “Marketing Consultant” since I was a marketing major in college. The vast majority of time it will never come up. However, if it does and you are not good at “bullshitting”, you can always say it was your previous job. If you don’t want to outright lie (if you’re searching for a real relationship), at least make sure your current position seems cool. I had a client who was an intern Design Engineer” at a
company that was relatively unknown subsidiary of Amazon. I told him to forget rid of the “Intern” part and just be a “Design Engineer” at Amazon. Much bigger DHV. School This part can also help, but not nearly as much in my experience. My advice is that if you went to a relatively large well known school that you just tell the truth. I went to Boston University (for real) and I have that under “school.” However, if you did not go to university or went to some small community college no one has ever heard of, then feel free to take some artistic freedom with this section as well. If you match a girl from the same university, be prepared to bullshit a little bit. Instagram A quality Instagram can help more than the previous two sections combed, A job and a university you can make up, but a million follower you can’t. Yes, Instagram can be huge. A million followers can take your SMV from a 6 to a 9. However, if your Instagram sucks it can also lose you points. I only got to Instagram recently and I am not in expert by any stretch. Although, it is something I am very actively experimenting with and will definitely have a guide on at some point in the coming months. Generally, my rule of thumb would be 1000+ followers. If you are over, link your Instagram. If not, then don’t link. However, if you do link your Instagram, carefully go through using some of the concepts mentioned in the "Picture Selection" chapter and remove any pictures that make you look bad or are a DLV (most guys have at least a few choady pictures on their Instagram)_ Remember, if you link your Instagram the vast majority of girls will go through it at some point before the date. You want this to help you, not cockblock you
Other Settings
1) Search Radius — About 50% of the people I coach have their search radius set too narrowly and are missing out on a lot of potential pussy. Keep in mind that a lot of girls swipe right when they are bored at work, their Job could be far from you, but their house could be close. Furthermore, some girls will be willing to drive over an hour to see you f they are horny enough or are attracted enough. Don’t limit yourself, set your search radius fairly wide (every city will be different LA IS very spread out so I made 50. In NYC my radius would be smaller) and just unmatch the girl later the logistics don’t truly work out. 2) Age Range — This is another area where a of guys are leaving a of opportunities on the table. Some guys in their late 20s and older don’t set their radius low enough (18), because they don’t think those girls will be into them. This IS an erroneous assumption There IS a good amount of younger girls (18-21) who actually prefer older men and these are the ones who will likely be the most DTE I started using Tinder about two years ago when I was 25. I am 27. During that time frame, I have banged over 100 girls from Tinder. At least 30% of
them have been 18-21. On the other end of the spectrum, some guys might set their age range too low, because "older women aren’t as attractive". Yes, that is definitely true in general. However, you don’t have to swipe right on the unattractive ones. There are some hot milfs out there in their 30s and even 40s. You don’t want to miss out on them. 3) Smart Photos — Keep this setting off Smart photos will give you very misleading data Almost every time I take a client's smart photo top pick and run past my team of booty calls, t's not at the top of the list. They get more matches With the ones I've selected. Trust me, smart photos is bullshit 4) Anthem — Fairly Irrelevant detail. Just don’t pick something super embarrassing. I do TLC "no scrubs". It's an old cult classic. A small amount of girls recognize t and tell me they like my song choice. you're a big fan of a not so well known band, may help give your match something to open & talk about Women love talking about their favorite bands. 5) Spotify — Also fairly irrelevant I didn’t even bother with this section because I don’t use Spotify. If you do have one, then you can add and see if it helps. Important Note on Testing - Whenever testing something new on Tinder such as a new profile picture or a more risqué bio, it is important to avoid the urge to test too many things at once. Otherwise, you won't know what helped or what hurts you. If you already have a Tinder, I recommend that you make all the changes. However, you are on the fence about something, like a shirtless pic, then make the obvious changes first. Give a few days and establish a baseline. Then test the thing you are not sure about
(Chapter 8 – Messaging Overview)
(Chapter 8b – Messaging Specifics) Text Game Specifics By now you should have a solid understanding of what in general makes for good and bad text game. Built on those foundations, this chapter will cover specifics from the opener to right up to the date. Below IS a flowchart of how the vast majority of successful conversations go. First you open or she opens you. Then you vibe for a bit, which can include a variety of things like: banter, teasing, qualifying her, sexting, screening, seeding the meetup, etc. (obviously not all are necessary). Then you close In a smart way. After that IS on to "confirming" at which point the girl might confirm or reschedule. At any point in the interaction you might get shit tests, concerns or objections. They are quite common, but won’t always happen. All of this can last from a few messages to several dozen over a span of a few hours or a few days. As mentioned in the previous chapter don’t treat this as doctrine and focus on memorizing everything & trying to copy to to a T. Instead, treat it as a guide and focus on how it can be applied to your own game
Opener This is the part of the interaction a lot of guys obsess with. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a "magical opener.” If a girl finds you attractive, she is much more likely to respond than if she finds you just passable. Or if she swiped right because she thought your dog was cute. That's why, as previously mentioned, the first step IS to create an amazing profile. That will increase your response rate, response enthusiasm and the number of girls who open you. Nevertheless, the content of your first message also plays a big role and thus it IS Important to optimize it as well. Crafting Your Opener 1) Don't make it difficult to respond to - The primary goal of the opener is to get a response. That IS why you want to avoid doing things that will lower your chances of a response like making it long, making cliché, making complicated, making very close ended, etc. You want to open with something the girl needs to put the least amount of mental effort to
respond to. 2) Don't establish the wrong vibe — You could message the girl "your second picture makes you look like a cunt" and likely get a high response rate, but you are gong to be establishing an adversarial vibe, which is what you don’t want. It is much better to start off right. That will make vibing significantly easer. It is for this reason I recommend avoiding anything long, overly gamey, overly invested or weird (unless you're David Swift). Pick-up lines can be funny and get a high response rate, but they also suggest that she is the buyer and you are the seller because you are trying to Impress her. The right vibe is essentially fun & flirty where she is not being put on any kind of proverbial pedestal 3) Don't do what 95 % of guys do — As an experiment, I decided to create a profile with an above average looking girl (7.5-8). In the bio all I put was "Just moved to LA". Take a look at the openers:
The vast majority of guys are opening with some reference to her profile or some variation of "hey how’s it going?" I call this polite small talk. Don’t do that. Avoid references to her profile description (unless it’s very unique & genuine references to pictures are fine), generic cliché compliments or asking how she's doing. You want to be just a little more unique/interesting/exciting without putting her on a pedestal by using typical pickup lines or investing too much. 4) Be conscious of her language — This only applies when you are traveling or if you live in a country that is very multi-lingual. It's important to keep in mind that if the average English level is poor, you don’t want to use English openers that could be misunderstood like
"Hey trouble". I quickly learned this lesson during my travels in Colombia. The best place to start was to actually figure out if she spoke English in the first place. Four Openers I Use: 1) "Hey Trouble" — This is my classic for a reason. It's simple, just unique/edgy enough, establishes a fun flirty vibe and is fairly easy for the girl to respond to. She can say "I'm not trouble", "you are trouble'", "how'd you know?" , etc. Use only in English speaking countries (LIS, Canada, Australia, NZ, Western Europe, Scandinavia, etc.). This is not recommended for countries where the general level of English is poor (South America, Asia, Pans of Eastern Europe, etc_). “Trouble” doesn’t translate well Into a lot of languages and will just confuse the girl. 2) "Hey nerd" Same principle as the previous one, personally I have slightly lower response rate with this one, but I know other people who works better for. Use only in English speaking countries. 3) "Are you in xx city?" — I discovered this opener by accident when I was constantly traveling in between cities In Europe. quickly became my favorite. The girl would say yes and I would respond with "cool, Just flew In xx days ago". This would almost always get her curious and lead to her asking a bunch of questions about me (travel is the ultimate universal DHV). Overall, I found that the response rate to this opener was slightly higher than "hey trouble". I think it’s just so easy for the girl to respond and say "yes" or "no". Keep in mind, unless she actually has something in her bio about moving, no one else is asking her this obvious question. 4)"Do you speak English?" (written in her native language) — This is a great opener f you are a traveling to a country where your native language isn’t spoken. During my travels in Colombia, I quickly learned that some girls weren’t responding to my openers because they didn't know what they meant. Furthermore, I learned that having an idea of her level of English will come in handy down the line as can prevent misunderstandings before they even happen. Like the city opener, this one is also quite easy to respond to. use only when traveling to Non-English speaking countries. I encourage you to play around with my openers and not be afraid to try out new things using the principles you learned. Just make sure to make your opener: i) Is Simple ii) Is easy to respond to iii) Is conscius of her native language (if applicable) And avoid: i)Using weird/fancy/overly-gimmicky lines ii) Referencing her profile description iii) “Polite small talk" or overly generic/cliche compliments iv) Creating the wrong vibe
Vibing This is the broadest category because there are a variety of approaches you can take. You can banter, subtly OHV yourself, qualify the girl or get her to qualify herself, screen her, seed the meetup, build sexual tension, etc. Don’t feel overwhelmed, these are just tools at your disposal. The goal is simply to do Just enough so that when you go to close she is likely to be receptive. Sometimes that can be in the first few messages and sometimes a bit longer. This is where trial & error will pay off. The first step is to transition from the opener. Here are some examples using the openers talked about above (I closed all the girls). The big theme across all of these interactions is that I don’t get stuck on the opener and move the conversation forward: "Hey Trouble"
“Are you in XX city?”
Banter My general rule with banter is to be lighthearted, witty and fun. I try to throw DHV's in when it’s appropriate (not try hard) and usually seed the meetup before going to close. I always calibrate my level of sexuality based on the girl's responses and the profile from which I matched (50 Shades of Grey or regular). In addition, I don’t have an exact amount of time for how long I banter for. In a sense, it’s like a chess game - how long before I can go for the check varies on my opponent. However, with every move I am trying to improve my position so that when I go to check, it is more likely to be a checkmate, which is of course getting her out in person and banging her. Below are some of my favorite lines that I use while bantering. Don't feel like you have to memorize them and try to copy me! That would actually make your text game a lot worse, because you would inevitably come off as overly gamey and sound like a robot. The best banter is situation - specific and cannot be pre-planned. Just take what works for you and naturally incorporate it when you feel it can help: 1) She has a picture with glasses "I like your sexy nerd glasses" 2) She is from somewhere that has a cute accent (The South, Latin America, Europe) "Please tell me you still have that sexy xx accent' or "Do you still have that sexy xx twang” 3) She asks me many variation of how's it going "Good, finished a killer workout looking nice and jacked for our date" (use "fit" instead of "jacked" if she's not a native English speaker) -One of my favorites because It DHV's you based on being athletic, is funny/witty and plants the seed of us meeting up. "Good, cooking some Carne Asada Hbu" -Especially effective f she is Latina. Latinas bve steak. 4) I want to build more rapport "So give me the basics. Tattoos? Kids? Ever been to prison?" 5) She comments on my bio “What was your fav pan?" 6) She's messaqinq me after 11 pm "What are you doing up past your bedtime?" or "someone's up past their bedtime" 7) She gives me her number "Hey its Alex from the thing” (my first text)
Screening As previously mentioned, the harder you screen the more likely the girl you meet up with is to be DTE However, she is also more likely to drop off if she is not consciously DTF (big category) or is actually looking for a boyfriend (bigger category). This is why I try to screen very strategically as to capture the largest amount of girls that are in the gray area. Screening provides another big advantage. It makes much easier to get girls straight over your place. You are both on here to fuck, then makes logical sense to meet at a location where sex can actually happen. Aside from using the sexual bio, I screen in the following three ways: 1) “What are you looking for on here?" "This is only recommended you have somewhat of a sexual profile and are in a western country (America, Canada, Scandinavia, Western Europe)" I typically ask this question when I am getting ready to close and the girl has shown she is likely to be receptive to meeting up (usually after a few messages back and forth). acts as a nice smooth transition between Vibing and closing. Even With the 50 Shades of Grey bio, this question is usually met with a range of answers. Take a look at the examples below (all from girls I ended up banging):
All three of these girls were super DTF when I met them (banged within 15 minutes), but some were a lot more direct about t over Tinder. -If I get a girl who is super upfront (like one to the left), I reward her answer and suggest the
general Idea of meeting up. My text Will be some variation of "Good, same here, lets hang out" -If I get a girl who I can tell is DTF, but is looking for me to go first usually by giving a vague answer and flipping question on me (like one in center), I Just respond With "kinky sex & cuddles" -If I get a girl, who doesn’t want to verbally acknowledge she's DTF, usually by giving a "no pressure" answer like "get some drinks" or "whatever happens" and NOT flipping the question on me (like one on the right), then I don’t push further and Just use her response to go for the meet-up. 2) "Do You Like Wine?' **Good for sexual and non-sexual profiles. However, less recommended for third world countries where safety is a big issue like Colombia"** This has rapidly become my favorite screening question. It's extremely effective because once the girl says yes (as almost every single girl does), you can smoothly transition into a nonchalant closing response that screens as well "good, come join me for a glass". This screens more indirectly since the vast majority of time if a girl agrees to come straight to your place for "a glass of wine" you know she is DTF. I will sometimes stack this with the first screening question or just use on its own. Let’s take a look at the examples below (all from girls I ended up banging).
As you can see, this question transitions perfectly into the close (more in next chapter). The wine provides a perfect excuse to hang out and to do at the sex location without stating the obvious, thus scooping up a big percentage of the girls in the gray
area. 3) Sexual innuendos/hints This is mainly the strategy I used in Colombia where strong social norms cause almost every girl to tell you she is "Just looking for friends" and safety issues cause even the most DTF girls to be reluctant to come straight to your place. Basically, the idea is not to screen directly, but to throw in feeler texts in the conversation to gauge if the girl is DTF. Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it's not (depending on girl's responses, profile used and country she's in). This can be a bit tricky to get right as you don’t want to come off immature or crass. You are a confident, dominant and sexual man who has good social awareness and you don’t want to ruin that vibe. Lets take a look at the example below (As always, I did bang this girl):
Half of this text exchange is sexual innuendoes and it’s all the screening I need to know she's definitely DTE Notice though how it's confident, fun and flirty. Not overly crass or juvenile. I want her to think I am a confident sexual man. Sex IS not a big deal. Instead of being some over eager horny teenage.It's a very important distinction and can mean the difference between the girl getting aroused and the girl shaking her head. Full lay report here Closing Smart Way Before we get into the optimal way to close, it's important to cover logistics, which are extremely important. Ideally, you should have a place that you can pull girls to. If you don’t, make it a priority right now. Having a place that you can bring girls to will significantly increase your odds
with women, online and in real life. I am not exaggerating. Assuming you have good logistics, here is the hierarchy when it comes to dates: Plan A: Straight to your place — This is ideal for so many reasons. First off, there is the psychological effect of being in your place. On a subconscious level, the girl feels like she has to play by your rules. That doesn’t mean you wont get LMR, but on average I found I get less LMR when a girl comes straight to my place, rather than when I went straight to hers. My closing ratio for girls that come straight to my place is close to 99%. That's because the vast majority of time that means the girl wants to fuck. In addition, having a girl come straight to your place is by far the most time efficient you don’t have to get ready as much, drive/walk, etc. Furthermore, you protect yourself from the annoyance of flakes and lateness. A girl flakes on you or runs late, but you are still doing your thing at home then at least you didn't lose any time This should be your first go-to. You will be surprised how many girls from Tinder will come straight to your place, especially f you are screening first The Idea is to make coming to your place as nonchalant, expectation-free as possible over text (covered in this chapter). Usually a girl will raise a concern to coming straight to your place, but as long as you deal with properly, she will come. Note: you are in a country where safety is a big issue (i.e. Colombia), you might be better off skipping to Plan C. Plan B (shitty logistics Plan A): Straight to her place - This is usually the second best option (or best option if you can’t bring girls to your place). Most girls will prefer to come to your place. However, there is a somewhat decent percentage of girls who will actually prefer that you come to their place. They will either bring up themselves or counter your invitation by inviting you over theirs instead. If this happens, then your best move is to go with it. Trying to convince her to come to your place instead, will likely cause the interaction to stall. And may raise some suspicions. Overall, this is slightly less ideal. However, once she actually sends you the address, the chance of flaking is extremely low. My closing rate with girls who invite me straight to their place is around 95%. Lower, but not by much. Plan C: Meet in public, close to your place - There is a fair amount of girls out there who will insist on meeting you in public first By closing optimally, the way described in this chapter, you will reduce your chances of having to meet in public, but it will still happen. In general, the percentage of girls you meet in public will be proportionate to how hard you screen. If you are not screening at all, then you will find that the majority of your dates will ask to meet in public. If you are screening the way I am, then you will be surprised how most of your dates will go straight to yours or her place. Meeting in public shouldn't be a deal breaker. However, you should always insist on having the date being close to your place (any bar or coffee shop), ideally walking distance. It is rare that a girl that I initially invited over to my place and agreed to meet in public will be choosy with the location. Most of the time they will be happy that you understand their "safety; concerns and go along with whatever venue you suggest. However, in the rare instance that a girl tries to meet half way or at a public place close to
them, I will almost always decline. My closing rate with meeting in public is between 50-70% depending on the country and how hard I screen. Note: If you are in a country where safety is a big issue, then this will usually be your best option. Shitty Logistics Plan B: Meet in public with explicit sex understanding - The only exception to me not meeting girls half way or close to their place is my logistics suck and the girl has made quite explicit that she is DTF That means my logistics suck I am typically screening a lot harder. I wont ask for a guarantee or anything like that, but fl am driving out to meet her, I want to make clear that we are both looking to get laid. It's hard, for me to quote statistics With this, because vast majority of the time I have great logistics. Now that you understand optimal logistics, let's cover the principles/psychology of closing optimally. There are, of course, exceptions to all of these. Think of them as general best practices: A) General first, then specific - You want to get the girl to agree to the general idea of hanging out with you before you make concrete plans. This is an adaptation of old school pick up compliance techniques. One yes, leads to more yes’s and no's set you up for more no’s. It is much easier for the girl to agree to the general idea of hanging out with you. Then once she agrees, your odds of getting her to agree to something more specific are a lot higher. B) Be tactful in setting up a date & time- A lot of guys take the "blindly throwing darts at dartboard" approach and randomly throw out a date & time. This is not optimal because there is a good chance the girl wont physically be able to comply with the plan (especially she is higher value). Instead, it’s better to gather information first "what's your schedule like?" or "you feeling adventurous tonight?" before trying to make plans. C) Have a purpose for the number- My rule is to, at the very east, get the girl to agree to the general idea of hanging out With me before trying to number close. This significantly increases my chance of getting the number and having that number lead to a meetup. I want to be clear that the number is just a means to us hanging out. However, this is not to say that you should skip the number entirely. After you agreed on plans, it is good to exchange numbers. Your confirming should be done over text (decreases flake rate). D) Keep it as "chill" as possible —You want to make hanging out with you as casual and pressure-free as possible. That means f you are meeting a girl in public, it's either drinks or coffee, no fancy/weird dates. It’s straight to your place, it’s "having a glass of wine on the patio". I use that line even I don’t have a patio. The idea is that by making your "date" seem super chill & lad back, the girl will feel like there is less expectations. Expectations are the one thing that Will cause girls to hesitate coming over and thus increase your flake rate. Closing Approaches — Here are generally the ways in which I close. I will of course vary the wording and add/subtract things f necessary since no two situations are exactly the same.
1) Same night close (obvious) The is to always meet that day/night. Sometimes a girl will make obvious that she looking to meet ASAP. This will usually involve with her messaging you first and giving you plenty of hints (sometimes quite bluntly). With these situations, it’s often a "now or never" thing. you don’t meet with her that night, you usually wont get a second chance. The approach here IS not to beat around the bush and match the girl's directness. Take a look at the examples below:
In the screenshot to the left, the girl messages me first with a compliment then right away she says she is "bored" which is the code word for being DTF. She gives me her number and tells me to call her. I am so caught off guard by her directness that I ask her if she is real. After she says yes, I immediately call her. No need to beat around the bush here. We talk on the phone for no more than a minute before she tells me she is bored and asks me I want to come over. I tell her yes and she gives me her address. I wind up going over there and banging her no more than ten minutes after walking in the door. She was surprisingly quite hot too. In the screenshot to the center, the girl messages me first in direct relation to my 50 Shades of Grey bio asking me when I'm going to do to her. This pretty strong indicator that she is looking to fuck that night I am super direct and tell her to meet me after work and after a few questions she agrees. I later learn that I was completely right and was her last night before moving out of state. We wind up meeting up later that night and banging. In the screenshot to the right the girl opens me as well. However, she is slightly more subtle. She says she is "looking for a way to make the weekend last longed and I take that as a sign to mean she wants to fuck that night. I throw out a pretty direct feeler text "perhaps you can be my distraction then" and she responds positively, as I expected. She is not quite as direct as the first two. I build the Interaction up Just a bit before inviting her over. Full LR with all the screenshots
here. 2) Same night close (not obvious)- This is when you get the feeling that there is a good chance the girl might be free that night, but she hasn’t made obvious. The strategy is to send out a feeler text like "you feeling adventurous tonight?", "you feeling naughty tonight?", or "feeling spontaneous?" If she responds with a yes, you invite her over. The exact wording of my invitation will widely vary based on how sexual the conversation has been, but I keep quite simple, i.e "join me for a drink on my patio", "Drinks. My place. Say 9", "cum on over then", etc. Take a look at the examples below:
After I screen her, the girl to the left tells me she is on Tinder to hook-up. However, she has yet to indicate that she is looking to meet up With me or that night I first validate her answer and suggest the general Idea of us meeting up. She agrees and asks me "when?"_ This to me indicates that there's a good chance she might be free that night and I send out a feeler text "feeling spontaneous". She indicates that she is free and I proceed to have her over later that night & bang her. Full LR with all the screenshots here The girl in the center is a slightly different situation. After I screen her, she very enthusiastically tells me how excited she is about my bio. I propose the general idea of us meeting up & she right away propositions me to hang out the next night judging by her enthusiasm, I get the feeling that she might be down that same night, so I tentatively accept her Invitation for tomorrow and throw out a variation of the feeler text to gage her reaction. My instinct turns out to be right and after a little deliberation, she winds up coming over later that night. Full LR with all the screenshots here
The girl to the right was an example of when a feeler text did not lead to a same night meetup. She is quite sexual during our conversation and so I throw out a more sexual variation of the feeler text. She responds positively, but I quickly find out she is not able to "cum over" that night. She winds up suggesting the following night and I accept Full LR with all the screenshots in this post 3) “Do you like wine” close. This has become one of my favorite closes. It's super simple and quite effective. I will quite often combine it with the other closes, but also works well on it’s own. First you say "do you like wine?" Then when she says yes, you follow It up with "Good. Come join me for a glass". Aside from its simplicity, this close is great because is very time ambiguous and acts as a feeler. Often times a girl is free that night she will interpret to mean that you are Inviting her over that night and act accordingly. However, if she is busy she will likely assume you meant in general and you can follow up by figuring out her schedule & inviting her over a different night. Let's take a look at the examples below:
The girl to the left: this is the reason why I love the previously mentioned "finished a killer workout for our date" line so much. The girl responds fairly directly to asking me when that date is. I match her directness & ambiguity by going for the wine close right away. She responds positively (as almost every girl does) and I invite her over. She asks me for my location and I go a little further, by giving her my exact address. She
responds positively by telling me she can be over in half an hour. She shows up on time and we bang. Full LR here The girl to the center tells me she is going away for a few days on Thursday and I respond by using that to bring up the general idea of us hanging out. She enthusiastically agrees & gives me her entire schedule indicating that she is likely free only tonight I respond with the wine close. She responds positively and since I already know that she is likely free that night I add "tonight" at the end of my invitation. She accepts & requests one more pic. I send her that pic & she winds up coming over later that night. We bang within 15 minutes of her arrival. The girl to the right is a little bit of a different situation. She had just finished giving me a long winded monologue about how she is looking to get fucked, but doesn’t like to commit to anything before she meets the guy. I responded with a variation of the second pan of the wine close In a way that shows I understand her concern and suggests the general idea of us hanging out. She agrees, but tells me she prefers vodka. It is late on a Sunday night & I have a feeling that I am not going to get her over that night so I ask her "what's your schedule like?" and she gives me her work schedule. I propose a night & she counters my proposal With another night, which I accept. She winds up coming over on that scheduled night & after thirty minutes of vodka we bang. 4) "What's Your Schedule like?" Close — This is usually used hanging out that night is not likely. Sometimes will be obvious from the conversation and sometimes you wont know until you send a feeler text and the girl lets you know she is busy that night unless it's my last night in her country, I won't push hard to meet that same night instead, I will use this close to figure out her schedule and set the fuck date for a night she is available. First, I get her to agree to the general Idea of hanging out "we should get together sometime soon", after she agrees, I ask her "what's your schedule like?" or "when you free?" Then if she doesn’t offer a date, I propose one based on the information she gave me.
The girl to the left had just agreed to the general idea of hanging out with me. It didn’t sound like she was available that day so I went general and asked her "what's your schedule like?"_ However, because she wants to meet up that day, she interprets to mean today and tells me what time she will be free that afternoon. I immediately calibrate & Invite her to meet me for coffee (this is In Colombia so Plan C was my default). She accepts. Full LR With all the screenshots here The girl in the center winds up being quite direct during our "vibing" by telling me that she is hoping I can fuck her. I immediately calibrate and go to close. I skip the pan where I get her to agree to the general Idea of us hanging out, because she is already telling me she wants that. However, she had asked me about my plans for the weekend right beforehand, so I put the two & two together to mean she is likely not available until the weekend. As a result, I follow up by saying a variations of "when are your free?" and she gives me a day on the weekend. Turns out, my texting "spidey-sense" was right & I make plans With her for Saturday. Full LR With all the screenshots here. The girl to the right, she is quite direct in her general desire to get laid when I go to screen her. As a result, I suspect she might be looking to meet up that night and I send her a feeler text. Unfortunately, I am wrong and she says she is busy. No problem, she already is on board with the general Idea of us hanging out so I follow up by asking "what's your schedule like?" She gives me a day she is free and I agree to this one turned out to be a little tricky, but I ultimately did meet up & bang her. Full LR with all the screenshots here
5) Fusion Close — As I mentioned earlier no situation is the same, which is why quite often I wind up utilizing two or even more of the four previously mentioned closes together in some variation. Take a look at the example below
I screen her and she very indirectly tells me she is DTF I follow it up by bringing up the general idea of us hanging out. She passively agrees. I go to screen her schedule and she suggests a day. Normally, I would just accept & make plans for that day. However, unfortunately I was gong to already be in a different country. As a result, I counter her proposal with another night & she tells me she is not available. I decide to throw out a variation of the feeler text "hmm maybe tonight" to see I can get the same night meet up as appears my only option. She tells me she is unfortunately busy also. However, she throws in a "would've been nice to meet you", which gives me some hope. I persist by asking her to think of a solution, hoping she would throw out the possibility of meeting after her plans. Unfortunately, she does not bite. As a result, I follow up a little more directly by asking her what time she is going to sleep in a flirty way. She gives me a fairly openended answer and I pitch the idea of meeting after her plans, throwing in a sexual meme right afterwards to emotionally spike her. It works & she finally agrees to meet up that night and asks me what I want to do. For the grand finale, I throw in a variation of the second pan of the wine close, making the invitation as casual & laid back as possible. She agrees and winds up coming over a few hours later. Full LR with all the screenshots here Confirming This should be the easiest part. Don’t over complicate t by treating t as some big deal and
checking a million times or conversely being afraid to confirm can lead into girl thinking that you forgot). Below are four general scenarios. There is going to be plenty of variation based on the conversation you had with the girl and the logistics in question. A) Same day meet up- This is when you make plans to meet later that day/night. If she hasn’t texted you yet that she's on the way or getting ready to leave, 20-40 minutes beforehand, text her "Hopping in the shower, text when on the way"
These are screenshots from three different girls who I wound up meeting up with the same day. Super straightforward. Full lay reports, from left to right. 1. 2. 3. B) Next day — This is when you make plans to meet up tomorrow That morning text her "hey still good for tonight". You can also first text her the Ryan Gosling meme and after she responds, send the "hey still good for tonight" message. Also, super straightforward. _
This was one of my ones from my travels in Colombia. I invited her to meet up for coffee the next day (Plan C due to being a third world country). She agreed and I asked for her WhatsApp (equivalent of a number outside the US). The morning of I sent her a variation of the confirmation text and she confirmed. I offered a time and she suggested a bit later. agreed and proposed a place that was walking distance to my hotel. She texted me an hour before the date, re-confirming herself (will often happen) and we met up. Full lay report here c) Few days out - This is when you make plans to meet up later on in the week/weekend. Text her the evening before "pick out a cute dress for tomorrow yet". Then the morning of message her "Hey still good for tonight" or prelude either one of those messages with the Ryan Gosling meme. Take a look at the example below:
I had already pre-screened her to be DTE She had told me that she is looking for casual sex but likes to meet the guy first before deciding whether to fuck him. I handled her objection successfully (covered in subsequent chapter) and closed in a smart way. First I brought up the general idea of us hanging out. She agreed and I asked what her schedule was like. She gave me her availability and using that information I suggested a date. She came back with a day later in the week that she preferred. I agreed and asked for her number. Super logical and straightforward.
This was Monday and our date was Thursday. There was some banter/flirting over text in between, but nothing crazy. The "Sassy & Submissive Tinderella" was in reference to a joke between us from earlier. On Tuesday, I texted her the Ryan Gosling meme (which 99% of girls love). When she asked me what I was up to, I sent her one of my favorite banter lines. On Wednesday, I texted her asking she picked out a cute dress yet. At this point she asked for specific logistics and following the principles of closing optimally, I invited her straight to my place while keeping as casual as possible. The day of she threw me a shittest/concern about being on her period (it was legitimate). I handled it properly and she gave me the green light I texted her the time and she confirmed (usually when ts a few days out, I'll wait until gets closer to setup an exact time). She spontaneously sent me a revealing picture at this point Then 15 mnutes before our date, I sent her the shower text. She wound up coming over and after thirty minutes of wine & flirting, she was taking her tampon out so I could fuck her. D) More than 5 days out- Generally you want to make plans within the first few days. The vast majority of your results will come from the first three categories. However, more than 5 days out isn’t a deal breaker, but you are significantly more likely to get a reschedule (covered in next section). There is going to be a lot of variation here. Generally, try to keep the lead warm without being needy or annoying. Then the night before follow the "few days out" procedure.
I chose a more complex example. Very straightforward in the beginning. I screen her to be D TF and she is very upfront about her desire to get laid. I send out a feeler text "you feeling naughty
tonight" to see I can get her over the same day, but unfortunately she has plans. I then transition into inquiring about her schedule. She says she will be free the following weekend. I could try to push for the meet earlier, but she seems pretty straightforward and direct, thus I assume that she is likely legitimately busy so I agree and tell her to text me (get her to invest more). It gets close to Friday and I still haven’t received a text from her so I message her over Tinder and she apologizes for forgetting. I tell her to text me anyways (if she doesn’t at this point, then she's likely a time waster). She texts me soon after. At this point, I decided to amp up the attraction and game her again. This is where my social Intuition and years of trial & error pay off. I get the feeling she is bi and go for the threesome angle (I legitimately had another girl who was interested). She loves and becomes super interested again. She has already agreed to the general Idea of hanging out so I go directly into about asking for her schedule. She gives me her availability and I propose Plan A She agrees. Since our conversation has been extremely direct I don’t ask her about the dress and just text her the morning of with the standard confirmation text to add to the variability my other girl flakes. I treat as no big deal and this girl IS still down (that's because I initially screened her for being DTF, the threesome wasn’t what she originally "signed up" for). Full lay report IS here (including the missing screenshot with the nude of my girl). Reschedules Reschedules are quite common. There are a lot of guys (even intermediate/advanced), who write off girls who ask to reschedule. That is not the optimal approach. Don’t jump to the conclusion that the girl is a flake or interpret this to mean she will be unreliable down the line. Most of the time her requests to reschedule are at least semi-legit. Also, you are simply not a priority yet It's nothing personal, she just hasn’t met you yet However, once you bang her the power-dynamic shifts and suddenly you become much more of a priority. That means a girl who is difficult to meet up before sex can and likely is (If you do everything right, covered in the "retention" chapter), to become significantly easier to schedule after the first time. Best way to handle a reschedule: Treat it as no big deal without acting overly eager or showing any neediness. The frame is that I am a high value guy who has plenty of options and I don’t really care, but I was looking forward to seeing you. My typical response to a reschedule is some slight variation of "No worries, but next time I might have to spank you a little" or "breaking my heart (inset girls name)". The vast majority of the time, this gets the girl to suggest an alternative plan which IS what I want. As long as I'm available I will agree to it. This can all play out in several different ways: Scenario #1: Girl sticks to the original plans. This is not the norm, but definitely can happen.
After she agreed to the general idea of meeting up, I went to figure out her schedule and she signaled that she is down to meet up that day "I'm off at 4". I immediately went for the same-day meet up. However, it was Colombia so I went with Plan C and picked a coffee shop that was a few blocks from my Airbnb. She agreed. I was traveling with a buddy and he was really trying to get lad so only out of friendship I asked about her having a cute friend for him (double dates definitely not optimal). She did not and I let her know I was 0k with a solo date (much more optimal anyway). I was running a bit late, so I texted her an hour beforehand asking we could push the date back an hour. However, she used that as a chance to reschedule. I responded with my standard reschedule text. Notice how immediately she became much more interested. I showed non-neediness, confidence and humor. I don't know if her training really got cancelled, but it is irrelevant. I went from having her try to reschedule to meeting up and banging her a few hours later....and it was a very memorable night for sure. Full lay report here Scenario #2: Girl suggests an alternative. This is what will happen the majority of the time. The girl will apologize for the reschedule and suggest an alternative, especially after she sees that you are not mad and non-needy_ Lets take a look at the example below:
This was Bumble (generally more dating oriented) and I hadn’t screened for being DTF As a result, my game was more flirty & fun, rather than direct & sexual. Nevertheless, all the principles we talked about so far still apply. After some back and forth banter, I close optimally. First, I bring up the general idea of us hanging out. She agrees and I ask what her schedule is like. She gives me her availability and we make plans for a few days later (It was Monday and date was set for Wednesday). We banter a little more over text (nothing crazy). On Tuesday I follow the "few days out" confirming procedure essentially to a T First, I send her a Ryan Gosling meme and then ask f she picked out a cute dress for tomorrow yet. Then on the day of (Wednesday) when I got to confirm, she asks me f we can reschedule to Friday. Since the reason is sickness, I improvise a little bit on the "spank you a little" line sending a text that is a little more sensitive, but still shows that I want to meet up with her, but I don’t car and am non-needy. It works like a charm and she asks me again if I can do Friday. I agree and as always go with Plan A. She falls into the category of girls who want to meet in public first (also more likely to happen since I haven’t screened her for being DTF). I accept and go with Plan C, offering to meet at a place walking distance from my Airbnb_ I am too general (not optimal) and she clarifies by picking a bar that is in that area. Since her choice is still walking distance from my Airbnb, I accept on Friday, I text her again the same confirmation text and this time she agrees. We meet and after an hour or two of drinks and escalating in person, I pull her back to my place and bang her. Scenario #3: No alternative due to issue — This is when a girl reschedules with an "indefinite" issue (most often getting Sick) and doesn’t offer an alternative, nor would be logical for you to
make one yet. The key again is not to be needy or lose your cool. People get sick or other shit just happens. You are a high value guy who doesn’t really care, but you do still want to see her. That's why you will be persistent in a smart and tactful way. Let’s take a look at the example below:
This one was from a little while back and you can see how my text game was a bit worse and a little more "gamey, but still not so bad that weirds the girl out. We make plans for Monday and I ask for her number. We banter for a little bit (I'm slightly over-gamey and over invested, but still good enough). The day before I send her the standard "pick out a cute dress for tonight" text. However, she tells me she might need to postpone due to being sick and doesn’t offer an alternative. This makes logical sense, she is lying sick in bed, she is likely not gong to know when the next good time for her to hang out. It wouldn't make sense for me to try to reschedule right now so I send her an overly-gamey variation of the "No worries, but next time I might have to spank you a little" text. As a Side lesson, you can see by her response how being overly gamey and invested confuses girls. I text her a few days later asking f she is feeling better, she says yes but she is on her period. I send her another slightly gamey text trying to get her over, but she doesn’t bite. The next day, I hit her with the magical Ryan Gosling meme and she loves I strategically wait a day and text her asking her she IS on her period (that line I still use, because its dope), she says yes and I logically realize that she must be at the end of her cycle and offer the first day that know her period will be over. She agrees. That day I send her the standard confirmation text "hey still good for today" and she confirms. I wound up banging her without a problem and it was well won’t it (huge tits). I doubt I asked,
but I would be willing to bet that evening she told me over text was true. She probably really did get sick and had her period start a few days later. However, I didn’t get overly needy or write her off, but instead I was persistent in a smart and tactful way and as a result got laid. Flaking As you can imagine there's a grey area between flakes and reschedules. Generally, I don’t lump a girl in the "flake" category unless she keeps rescheduling over and over or goes completely cold and stops responding when I go to confirm Nevertheless, a girl who flakes shouldn’t be completely written off. Often times these are the hottest girls and you don’t want to miss out on fucking them because of your ego (since the flaking likely has nothing to do With you personally). Lets take a look at the two different strategies for handling flaking: 1) Be Cool & Persist- The idea here is that you don’t let her behavior affect you (it shouldn't since it probably has nothing to do With you) and persist just enough to stay on her radar so that when she gets horny, she hits you up and you seize the opportunity. Then, as previously mentioned, once you bang her the power dynamic Will shift and the second time you should have a much easer time getting her to meet up. The big key here is to show zero neediness. You can persist like a mother fucker and not really lose value, but the moment you start to get needy, it's usually over. Now this obviously wont be the outcome every time. Sometimes they never hit you up. My general rule is to never do more than three texts in a row. However, even after that point, I wouldn’t let my ego get in the way and "delete them". I have essentially unlimited space in my phone, might as well leave them In there so that f they get horny and hit me up, I don’t miss out. Take a look at the two examples below:
These are two different girls, both were very young (18) and super direct about their desire to get lad during the initial conversation. Both flaked on me a bunch of times (the second one almost a dozen occasions). However, I stayed persistent, but non-needy and as a result both of them texted me out of the blue when they were horny to come fuck them (look at the time stamps). The girl to the left was average looking and so I didn't hit her up again. However, the girl on the right turned out to be quite hot and I met up with her a second time (with almost no hassle). Full lay reports, with all the screenshots are here and here , 2) Draw a boundary: This is when you calmly ét the girl know what she is doing is not cool and you are not gong to put up With this behavior. Again, the key is to show zero neediness or butt-hurtness_ Also, this will only work the girl likes you & is invested. In both of the previous examples both of the girls were not really invested (until I fucked them). The exact text I use is usually some variation of "take care, your lack of respect for my time is a turn off". I will typically only go with this strategy when the girl is actually not respecting my time and bailing on HARD plans with bullshit excuses. In the previous two examples, the girls weren’t doing that They were just being flaky in general so drawing a boundary would have made a lot less sense. Let's take a look at the examples below:
Two different girls, you'll have to go through the lay reports to get the full story: here and here, respectively. The first girl kept endlessly rescheduling on me and then finally at the last minute when we were supposed to hang out gave me a bullshit excuse. This was the perfect situation for drawing a boundary. She knew deep down her behavior wasn’t cool. That's why when I drew a boundary she quickly stopped being lazy and came over. The second girl, I had spent an hour facetiming with (so I knew she was very invested) and we agreed for me to pick her up thirty minutes later. I hopped in the shower and when I was heading out the door, she called me to say she started feeling tired. I knew this was a bullshit excuse and I told her over the phone what you see In the text. Unfortunately, I was fairly annoyed and it must
have shown in my voice (otherwise, I might have been able to bang her that night). However, it still worked. She hit me up the next day, apologizing and wound up coming over. Side note on flaking: There is one way to dramatically lower, if not eliminate, flaking. Go to Europe and start going for girls who are slightly older (21 +)_ Flaking is much more common amongst younger girls (all of the four girls in the previous examples were 18 or 19) and in certain countries (all these happened in America). In Europe, flaking is much more rare. Also, an "older" career woman is less likely to flake than an 18 year old. However, you are In the US and like hot young girls then you are going to definitely benefit from using the two previously mentioned flaking strategies Objection Handling/Shit Tests/ Concerns A huge part of being successful on Tinder and dating in general is being able to successfully overcome obstacles and deal with a woman's objections, concerns and shit tests. The majority of attractive women on Tinder will have a few that they will throw your way before meeting up with you. You can have the highest SMV with the best pictures, but if you cant successfully deal with these, you will miss out on most of your opportunities. As I side note, I found that generally speaking, girls who bring up a lot of concerns & objections on average have a lot less men In their life. That's because, unlike me, the vast majority of guys are not able to successfully overcome them, leaving the girl quite sexually frustrated. This means that after sex, she is much more likely to turn into a booty call, because in her mind I am one of a very few guys who she sees as a viable sexual option. Let's start off by differentiating between an "objection", "concern' and a "shit test" ... As you can imagine there is a lot overlap between these three. However, for the purpose of this chapter I will define them as the following: 1) Shit Test— In essence that's when a girl says something to judge your reaction. She wants to see if you really are how you come off (i.e. your frame) or if you are putting on an act. The successful way to overcome shit tests is to only focus on passing the shit test (and subtly flipping around on her if applicable), instead of trying to change topics or escalate. Keep in mind that with shit tests all the girl cares about is that you are unfazed & unreactive. That's it. No need to get overly-logical, defend yourself, etc. _ Take a look at the examples below:
In the screenshot on the left. The girl throws me an aggressive shit test right off the opener, this one is easy, she is asking me f I really sad what I sad, but really she Just wants to see if I'll own what or try to explain. Justify myself like a little bitch. I fully own it and she responds positively. Full lay report here In the screenshot to the center, the girl also gives me a shit test right off the opener. It is a lot less aggressive, but she is still Just doing to see how I respond. I fully own It and smoothly flip It around on her. She responds positively. Full lay report here In the screenshot to the right, the girl gives me a shit test right after explaining what she is looking for in reference to my bio. Instead of answering her question directly, I show her that I fully own my bio by commenting on her earlier statement. She responds positively. Full lay report here Let's take a look at the common themes. In all three of the shit tests I didn’t try to escalate, change topics, justify myself, rationalize, get logical or defensive. I simply owned the thing the girls were questioning In a confident & unaffected way. This led to each one of the girls backing down and becoming more receptive. 2) Concern
This is when a girl tells you something she is concerned about and in the hopes of you making her feel better about A common one is the serial killer concern. Due to horror movies, almost every girl is concerned about meeting a seral killer and quite often they will express this to you. The best way to overcome a concern is by reassuring the girl in a way that makes her feel better, sometimes with a combination of humor. Again, avoid getting overly logical, defensive, escalating, or changing the topic. Basically your goal is to put them at ease and reassure them. Also, as with shit tests, keep simple. Lets take a look at the examples below
In the screen shot to the left, after some banter & screening, I invite her straight to my place. She responds with a concern. Now she is not saying no, but she is saying she is worried about what's gong to happen she doesn’t find me attractive and/or like me. This is common. I make her feel better by saying I had the same concern which IS why we are gong to meet In the lobby and have a drink on my patio. I also throw a little humor im This alleviates her concern and she comes over. I wind up banging her within 15 minutes of her arrival. However, I had not successfully dealt with her concern & made her feel more at ease, I likely wouldn’t have gotten the chance.
In the screenshot to the center, after some banter & screening I go to close and the girl expresses a slight concern about my shirtless ab picture. She wants to know if it's really me. You and I both know it's not, but she doesn’t need to know that. This is one of those concerns that can be best overcome with humor so I respond "no it’s my dad's". This makes her feel better & puts her at ease and she winds up coming over. Full LR here Screenshot to the right, is a great example of a barrage of pre-meet up concerns. First she asks me how many times I've done this. I know her real concern is to make sure I am not a player/manwhore_ She is hoping I'm a successful normal young professional who is also sexually confident. I respond in a way that reassures her that I am. Her second concern was to make sure I don’t have std's I respond In a way that lets her know she has nothing to worry about & subtly flips around on her. Her last concern is making sure that she likes me, I don’t ignore her afterwards. I respond In a way that reassures her that this wont be the case. This girl wound up coming over later that night & we banged. As a side note, she was quite hot (easily a 7.5-8), yet told me she was extremely sexually frustrated. This is because she has a large amount of concerns before she has sex With someone and the vast majority of guys simply don’t know how to handle them correctly. Full IR here 3) Objection This is similar to a concern. The girl is expressing to you something she is concerned about. The difference is that she is looking for you to take some kind of action (which most of the time she might suggest herself). This means that a simple
reassurance usually wont suffice. For Instance, lets take inviting girls straight to your place. One girl might express concern With coming to a stranger's place where you can verbally put her at ease while another girl might outright object to where you will need to take some kind of action, like meeting up with her in public or possibly getting her on the phone and building more comfort and trust. Take a look at the screenshots below:
In the screenshot to the left, similar to the one in the "concern" section, I invite the girl straight to my place. However, instead of expressing a concern, she politely objects to the idea. Reassuring her is likely not going to work. I respond by sending a feeler text to try to find the root of her objection, but judging by her response I can tell it’s a fairly hard no. I decide the best course of action is to go With Plan C and meet her in public. She agrees and we wind up meeting at a bar. After 1.5-2 hours of drinks, I pull her back to my place and we bang. In the screenshot to the center, the girl tells me she is DTF and is down to hang out, but expresses an objection about not being sure whether I am the person in my pictures. She brings this up a few times and I can tell by her tone that a simple joke wont reassure her. I need to actually do something. The only logical course of action is video chat I get her on Skype and she sees that it's really me and the objection is dissolved. She winds up coming over later that day and we bang. Full IR here. Common Mistake. Interpreting everything as a shit test- This is a very common mistake I see amongst pick up guys. They think concerns and objections are the same thing as shit tests. This leads them to get into "frame wars" with girls when the situation calls for some kind of
reassurance or a different course of action. In the end this obviously results in a lot of missed opportunities. There is overlap between shit tests and the other two categories, but they are not the same thing. In addition to this guide, experience will be your best teacher. Frequent Concerns/Objections — Here is list of all the common concerns & objections you are gong to encounter and what I found to be the most optimal answers. Some of these might sound super simple, but that is the point. Giving wordy roundabout answers usually leads to more concerns & objections. 1) Are you clean? "Yes, you as well / hope" 2) How many times have vou done this? / How many girls have vou met with? "A few times here and there, my job keeps me pretty busy unfortunately"/ "A bit here and there, my job keeps me pretty busy unfortunately" 3) Is that vou in the pic? / Are vou the quv in the photos? "No its my dad" 4) Why are vou in xx country? This is when you are visiting a different country, especially ts a poorer country girls will be concerned about your motives. Tourist is usually not the optimal answer, as a lot of them will associate that with a one night stand or even prostitutes/drugs The best answer is of course work I will throw in a joke and respond like "(famous food/activity)...and work I guess" so in Finland I would say "That Finnish sauna ....and work I guess". In Poland I would say "Pierogies.....and work I guess". Aside from successfully alleviating their concerns, you also subtly DHV yourself by showing you know their culture 5) I want to invite vou over. But I just don’t have the enerqv to make myself sexy & clean mv apartment "Don’t worry, I’m in my pajamas and my own place is quite messy for any of that 6) Are vou only interested in only a one night stand? / Are you open to making this more than a one night stand? "Well if the sex is good & we vibe, why would / not want to do it again"/ "Assuming we vibe well, that would be my ideal" 7) I don’t know I'm bold enough to do this randomly "let's have a little wine first and see how the chemistry is. No expectation on my end" 8) What makes vou think will like vou when I get to your place? / What if we don’t click ? "Only one way to find out no expectations on my end" 9) I do not know what time I will finish This is if you are planning on meeting up that night. Her concern is that either that she will wake you or that you will stay up later than usual waiting for her. Respond with "No Bedtime Here"
10) I don’t want to have sex with vou/ Hope vou don’t think I'm qoinq to have sex with vou There are numerous variations of this. basically means the girl IS thinking about fucking you, but Isn't completely sure & doesn’t want to have sex with you. Respond with "No expectations on my end" 11) I maybe sleepy though. had a long day. The girls concern is that you are going to want to do something active & unnecessary when all she wants to do is chill & fuck. Respond with “Aww. Maybe 171 give you one of my famous massages" 12) How do I know vou wont kill me / how do know vou are not a serial killer "l gave up killing for lent last year so you are good" or "Don’t worry / gave up killing for lent last year" 13) You want to meet straight at your place. What vou don’t like me? / I've been catfished before so am a little skeptical This is if you are inviting a girl straight to your place. The solution is to make the meeting at your place seem as public as possible. "I was going to meet you in the lobby. To make sure you are not a big black guy" / "Me too. That's why / was going to meet you in the lobby" 14) You want to come to her hotel/invite her to vours & she savs she's not sure because she's never met vou before we can meet in the lobby or something and have a drink or two there" Frequent "Qualifying" Concerns This is like a concern, only it’s more binary and is used to determine whether you "qualify" for her or not it’s a pass or fail question. The difference between this & shit test is that she isn’t just asking this to see how you react, instead she is trying to determine whether you meet some standard she has. Fortunately, there are only three qualifying concerns you are likely to encounter 1) How tall are vou? Some girls have a hard height cut offs (especially tall girls), that means no matter how witty you are with your comeback if you don’t meet it, she will not go out with you. For this question you are 6 feet or over just respond with your real height (i.e "61"), f you are either 510 or 511 , Just respond With "60". you are under 59, Just add two inches to your real height. you are planning on wearing insoles in your shoes that make you look taller, feel free to add an extra Inch to that as well. You can also throw a bit of a joke in the end might have to wear heels" or "511... 6+ when I got my heels on" 2) How biq is your dick? Some girls will ask how big your cock is. This is another question where you can & often should exaggerate. you got a humongous cock, then Just tell her your real Size. However, you are not, feel free to round up a few Inches. I am probably around 6.5-7 inches and I always say "8in". If I was 5.5-6 inches I would say "7in". _you get the picture 3) Do vou live alone? This is a common one when you are inviting a girl straight to your place.
How you answer can often mean the difference between having her come to your place or having to meet in public. I have had roommates all my life, but my answer is always the same "yes" or "one roommate, but he IS always traveling". Many times when these girls will come over, they will at some point encounter my roommate & t has never been an issue. Other/FAQ 1) How long should you wait to text a girl? Generally speaking you don’t want to be responding right away f she is taking hours to respond. Sometimes even a well-placed silence can cause a girl to double or triple text. Overall, try to match or slightly exceed a girl's response time. Don’t overthink this though, f sometimes you respond a little faster than her, doesn’t mean shit I do t all the time. Also, there are common sense exceptions to this rule. you are discussing time-sensitive stuff like she is about to leave & asks for your address don’t make her wait twenty minutes. she IS hitting you up for a booty call, don’t wait so long that she winds up gong With someone else. she hasn’t texted you back for a few days, you don’t have to wait a few days, Just give it an hour or two. 2) What do you do if she stops responding? How do you re-initiate conversations? First off, don’t jump to the conclusion that she stopped responding. Give it at east a day or two. Too often guys way too impatient, which winds up making them seem needy & ruins their chances. Don’t be one of them. However, when t is time to reinitiate, mv number one go-to is the Ryan Gosling meme (available in the Memes section). has the best response rate out of everything I tested and has resurrected numerous dead numbers for me. Unfortunately, you cant send outside memes on Tinder (Bumble it's fine), so one of my favorite text messages IS "and the award for best texter goes to. " Here are three examples where reinitiating a conversation got me laid.
The girl to the left, I was supposed to meet up with on New Year's Eve. We made plans for me to pick her up, but when I asked for the address she completely stopped responding. I played chill that night & hit her up the next day With the Ryan Gosling meme. She responded quite enthusiastically and we wound up meeting up and banging a few hours later. Full LR here The girl in the center rescheduled on me & asked to hang out next week. I responded by telling her I'll be free Monday. She didn’t respond back. I waited until Monday & sent her the Ryan Gosling meme. This reinitiated the conversation and after some back and forth we wound up meeting up the next night. Full LR here The girl to the right asked me I could hang out a week from now on Friday, I agreed and told her to text me. After 5 days (as our date was approaching), I still hadn’t got a text so I messaged her "oy", she responded and we wound up meeting up a week later & banging. Full LR here What do you do if she does not have body pics? A lot of guys would automatically say assume she's fat and not bother, but I disagree. Yes that is often the case, but IS not always. Some of the hottest girls I banged off tinder actually did not have a body pic_
Yep, all three of these hotties did not have a single body pic on Tinder. Of course you don’t want to blindly go into your date hoping for the best either. My approach is to be straight up & just ask them. If they are fat, they will either tell you or get pissed_ However, if they are not, they will often just tell you as well. I will usually bring this up right away or I am pretty certain that she IS not fat, but not 100%, I will get them on the phone or FaceTime. Examples from girls I actually banged below
4) What do you do if she opens you? This is a good sign a girl opens you she is significantly more likely to close. f it's just a regular message, I Will usually respond With "hey what's up" and go into vibing. However, if it's something more direct, then I will try to mirror her level of directness. Here's three examples all from girls I banged
5) Calling/ Face Timing the girl First off, I will say that only a small percentage of girls will ask to talk on the phone or FaceTime first over 90% of girls will be 0k with meeting up with you without any of that However, you are good on the phone, then can be a very powerful tool for building investment, dealing with objections, and preventing flaking. The main thing is DONT call/Facetime out of the blue. The girl likely won't pick up & will make the situation worse. I generally like to say something along the lines of "let's chat on the phone for a minute", "let's Facetime real quick", or "let's Facetime real quick, I want to make sure you are not a 300 1b black guy". The last one seems to work particularly well. The idea is that you want to pre-empt her concern of being stuck on the phone with you for an hour when you suggest the Call/FaceTme_ Once you actually get her on the phone, doesn’t matter. 6) Voice Memos Voice Memos are my favorite thing about WhatsApp & I am a huge fan of using them. They build massive comfort and have most of the advantages of a phone call, without the hassle of actually getting the girl on the phone. I find that they are great for convincing a girl to meet up, when she is on the fence 7) What do you do if she won't give her number out I used to think that f I did evehing right, escalated optimally and if a girl wouldn’t give me her number this meant she was a time waster. However, after my trip to Europe I stopped jumping to that conclusion. There is a small number of girls out there who have no problem meeting a stranger or even coming to their place, but wont give their number out. My new rule is that in countries with a low flake rate (Europe), I will Just proceed to make all the arrangements & follow my usual protocol through the app. Here's an example:
8) What about Snapchat? I personally don’t use Snapchat (although this may change soon), but at this point I have heard enough stones about people strategically using to their advantage (building comfort, creating passive attraction, keeping leads warm for months, etc) to conclude that can definitely be a huge help. However, if you don’t have one & don’t want to get one for whatever reason, my go to line for getting out of when a girl asks me IS "no, f I send a dick pic, lasts more than 5 seconds" Here are some examples from girls I banged who asked me for a Snapchat:
9. What about Instagram I Facebook? Both can work to your advantage or disadvantage. Everyone has a Facebook, this means that you cant get out of not giving one like you usually can with Snapchat The first thing you should do is go through and delete all your bad, low value, creepy & ugly pics (by now you should have a good Idea what makes a good pic)_ they are not there already throw in your best Tinder pics_ you have any weird, low value posts delete those as well. Congrats, you now have a usable Facebook! This means a girl asks for your FB, you can freely give to her & game her over messenger like you would over text. Instagram, as previously mentioned, should be given out only if you have a good one. you have a decent amount of followers & decent pics, feel free to give out. If yours sucks, then offer to give her your Facebook instead. Take a look at the example to the right 10. What about Dick Pics / Nudes ? It's important to understand women don’t hate getting dick pics, they just hate getting out of context dick pics. Don’t send them randomly. However, you are sexting or she brings up size, then they can be quite helpful. Furthermore, sending a dick pic is one of the best ways to get nudes since women always want you to go first Keep in mind though, there is a percentage of girls out there who are super DTF, but will not send out nudes (especially common amongst career women). a girl does not want to send a nude, do NOT persist on getting one, Just focus
on the meet up. You don’t want to jeopardize a lay over a couple nudes. The next thing to keep in mind is how big your dick is & how good your pic is. Just like with Tinder pics, the best way to get feedback IS to ask girls. In this case should probably be limited to the ones you've banged (unless you are feeling bold). there is one pic that always gets compliments, use that one. Another option is to use a fake dick pic. I'm going to let you in on a secret, this is what I do. A few years ago, I found a top notch dick pic (#nohomo) on the Internet that was a few Inches bigger than mine. I have been using ever since. At this point, I must have sent to close to a hundred girls who I then banged and I still have yet to have anyone even hint at not being mine (despite the fact that some of them stayed around as booty calls & saw my dick quite often). Here are some examples:
Lay reports from left to right, here, here, and here All these interactions have three things in common: 1)The conversation was already sexual & it was established that we are meeting to fuck 2)The dick pic wound up helping me get the meet-up. Could have still been done without it? Probably. 3)That IS most certainly not my penis. 11. How to sext?
Knowing how & when to sext can be an EXTREMELY useful skill to add to your text game arsenal. First off, I recommend reading books like 50 Shades of Grey and Sex-God Method. This will help you understand female sexuality and give you a strong foundation from which to draw from. You will get an Idea of how to write in a way that turns women om ts not crass, juvenile, or random. Instead women enjoy the build up and for you to create the scenario. They like descriptive words but also leaving things to the imagination They enjoy a dominant man who takes control, but Isn't desperate or needy for sex. They love to be teased & have you make them full of anticipation. Secondly, don’t play it safe. That's what every guy does. You need to not be afraid of bsing the match so that you can develop your own Intuition for when a good time to get more sexual IS. However, always calibrate. Don’t try to force sexting or even feel like it’s a necessity. A girl is giving you signs she's not into it, then you need to try a different approach. Generally, you have a sexual profile it's safe to assume that most of the girls you match will be receptive to some level of sexting you have a regular profile, then it’s more about feeling out the vibe and developing your own intuition. Lastly, there are different theories on this. I am a firm believer of "not giving away the climax". Meaning that I will sext to build up anticipation & get the girl excited, but always leave her hungry for more, implying that the only way she will get more is when we meet up. For that reason, I strategically sext, Just the right amount Enough to get her horny, but not enough for her to cum. My goal is the meet-up. Just like I don’t want to be text buddies, I also don’t want to be sext buddies. Let's take a look at two examples below:
Both of these were girls I banged. As you can see there is a common theme, I build up the anticipation & get the girl even hornier, but don’t "give her the ending" and use her heightened emotions to accomplish my purpose of getting the meet-up. Notice how my sexting is confident & dominant, but not overly eager or overly crass. The vibe gives off is that I am an experienced sexual man who knows what he is doing & we meet up, you will be in for one hell of an experience! 12. How do you adjust for different countries? This is a very broad topic. I recommend posting in the Playing With Fire Plus Facebook Group. With your specific country & situation for more detailed information. However, I will say that the most important thing to take into account is the girl's English level. That is why my opener will quite often be "do you speak English?" in her native tongue. If she tells me or I sense that she doesn’t speak well, I will significantly simplify everything I say. The most common problem people have are misunderstandings where one of the parties genuinely did not understand the other. You want to pre-empt this from happening as much as possible. Final Note I have mentioned this numerous times throughout the chapter, but it's so important that I will close out with throughout all my examples, you should be seeing many common themes. However, you should also be seeing how every situation is a little bit different and how I am always calibrating my exact responses (and sometimes even breaking my own rules). This
comes through lots of trial & error and developing my own text game "spidey sense". Don’t play it safe. Don’t be afraid to try new things. That is how you get good
Chapter 8C – Messaging – Examples and Case Studies
(Chapter 9 – Dates)
(Chapter 10 – Retaining Girls & Building Rotations)