FHM India December 2013 PDF [PDF]

Zitiervorschau

december 2013 / ` 100

it’s COLD outside but it’s hot in here with...

chitrangda

33 the big feature

things to know about f1 in 2014 Lonely? Get a dog, we tell you how Bruce dickinson’s ways to beat recession (with metal) plus! Balotelli on taking punches Battle of the red pepper sauces Why dubai cops deserve a brabus, thullas don’t

Virat Kohli on why XBox1 blows, tats INDIa edition Vol 7 issue 01

contents december 2013

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Chitrangda Singh A shoot so hot, you won’t even pretend to read the interview. 2

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The man who would be captain

...if Rohit Sharma doesn’t ruin the party. As a part of being ahead of the curve (and turning down interview requests with Rohit Sharma not too politely) we interview the metrosexual icon of the Indian cricket team — Virat Kohli.

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FHM End of the year Formula 1 round-up

Why Jenson Button is too tall and Hulkenberg too fat for Formula 1 next year. Plus, a kick ass interview fhmindia • fhmindia

with Nico Rosberg, Raikkonen at his dismissive best and just why 2014 might be the end of Red Bull’s dominance.

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shenanigans and voluntary overtime.

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Make the ultimate Christmas feast

Maiden legend Bruce Dickinson to sort out the world economy once and for all.

Stuck with hen-pecked friends who make Christmas meal plans and never follow through? Your guide to making Turkey, Plum Pudding and Crab Cakes. Yes, Crab Cakes.

80 FINDING LOVE

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Fighting recession WITH METAL FHM teams up with Iron

(AND SEX) AT WORK

Take your office romance from stolen glances across the photocopier and water-cooler moments to sordid storeroom

A MAN’S GUIDE TO DOGS

Barking mad about dogs? We present everything you need to know about our canine companions. fhmindia.com

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Stephanie Fantauzzi The reason you should get over Mad Men and start buffering Shameless USA!

16 Finally art gets interesting Ending centuries of yawns induced by uni-browed women and straw fields, art finally gets a new, sexy FHM approved edge. 22 Letters Notes, SMSs, Champagne bottles, hate tweets and kitchen sinks. 24 Jokes Epic PJs, phenomenally bad pick-up lines and jokes so obscene you’d want to start a Whatsapp group! 26 News A bra so cool, it sends a tweet out every time its unhooked, why the Japs aren’t having any sex, and why Oreos are as addictive as Cocaine — all the news you want to know this month. 32 Girl NEXt Door John Lennon glasses + Swimsuit = Sex on Toast

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34 The return of Anchorman 2 Shahid Kapoor’s movie that got sued by Rambo owners and other movies you might want to watch this month. 36 Ankur tiwari On making hot new indie music and why you should be paying attention to him. 42 Make money on the oscars Your cheat-sheet. 44 Assasin’s creed +Batman Arkham origins+WWE+NBA 2k14 Played, aced, reviewed. 50 Balotelli The AC Milan striker on why people pick on him, racism and why he very often finds himself on the wrong end of the punch.

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upgrade

99 Ready for the smartwatch? It’s here even if you aren’t. 106 SURVIVE all MUSIC FESTS Your guide to music fests and the best swiss knives to carry to them! 108 Manly winter cocktails Brandy cocktails for a real man. Or at least a metrosexual one. 114 The FHM Red pepper sauce shootout Capsico Vs Tabasco Vs Fire Fighters. FHM seperates the sauces from the pretenders. 116 RE-BOOT Why it’s okay to wear boots as long as Harley Davidson didn’t make it. 120 Final countdown fhmindia.com

editor’s letter

So, another year bites the dust. And another one… And another one... You can now see why Queen is not a good choice for an opening (pardon the pun). The band and the song go off on a loop without giving you the one thing you really need – a transcribable line like Tana na na na Ta na na na BATMAN. Anyway, I digress. For better or for worse – 2013 is over and there are no catastrophic prophesies for 2014 from the bearded man and his brethren, which is good for a change. Anyway, 2014 is a big year. But then you’ve got all of 2014 to prepare for it. December is when you need to laze in the day, get hyperactive at night, do your year-end bookings in advance (Pondicherry and staying in are the new Goa, if you are looking for ideas) and have some mindblowing sex, preferably with someone you’ve just met. Can’t get out of work? No time for shag prospecting? Don’t fret. We’ve got you the exhaustive guide to finding sex at work (Page 80). Do you think 2014 might be a good time to get something more permanent in your life? We do too. Which is why we’ve rounded up whatever we all knew about dogs (turns out it was a lot) and poured it into a 4-page Dog Reckoner (page 102). In our constant endeavour to be ahead of the curve and because we’d already turned down interview requests with Rohit Sharma, not too 6

December 2013

is brought to you by… FHM is called into meetings by Publisher & COO Vikas Johari CEO & Managing Director Prakash Johari CFO Kuldip Singh Editor Kabeer Sharma

politely, we got you an interview with Virat Kohli (page 38). And following the massive response to Lionel Messi’s interview, we’ve snagged an interview with the constantly moaning, often on the receiving side of a punch, AC Milan Striker – Balotelli (page 50). Our pièce de résistance or the cherry on the cake (in case your French is as rusty as ours) is our end of season Formula 1 special – Nico Rosberg on missing a Kings of Leon performance, Kimi on his Ferrari dreams and just why Jenson Button and Hulkenberg are too tall and fat for Formula 1 in 2014 (page 62). Thought art was boring? It’s sexy now, so turn to (page 16) for the dope. Dubai police has just got themselves a Brabus to add to a fleet that already has Aston Martins an Aventador – turn to (page 20) to see how the mamas from the rest of the world measure up. Plus, we’ve got you the dope on why Huawei Ascend P6 might be the iPhone beater (page 100) and other gadget scoops along with a review of the 24, Krissh 3 and Dhoom 3 games besides a personal favourite – Batman: Arkham Origins (page 46). We’ve also put together a 3-pager on cooking a Christmas dinner for those who’re stuck with hen-pecked friends like we are (page 96). Enjoy the issue, get smashed on New Years Eve and see you in 2014. – Kabeer Sharma

What we did this year

The Brazilian student, who auctioned off her virginity for $ 780,000 in 2012, is trying again this year with a reserve price of $100,000. Thankfully though, the trend hasn’t really caught on. We also discovered this year that Mallika Sherawat is less sale-able than Rakhi Sawant and Rahul Mahajan in finding herself a match. Saw Sachin Tendulkar retire, Arvind Kejriwal become even more unsufferable and Rohit Sharma finally scoring a run.

Had to convince ourselves that SRK’s movie made more money than Salman’s and Aamir thinks he looks great in a bowler hat. Concurred that love handles are out of fashion, DPads not Vidya Balan is THE sex icon, and Tarun Tejpal is a certified fool for taking a sabbatical from Tehelka after allegedly molesting an employee.

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FHM is taken on its travels by… International Director of Men’s Magazines Simon Greves (+44 20 7182 8074) International Head of Content Anouska Christy (+44 20 7182 8941) International Commercial Manager Graham Kirk (+44 20 7182 8941) International Content Manager Jennifer Batchelor (+44 20 7182 8056) International Content Coordinator Charlotte Smith (+44 20 7182 8069) International Content Executive Ellie Bond (+44 207 520 6561) Information: [email protected] Subscriptions: [email protected] Submissions: [email protected] Advertising: [email protected] Accounts: [email protected] Careers: [email protected] MaXposure Media Group (India) Pvt. Ltd. Head Office: Unit No F2b ( Second Floor) Mira Corporate Suites, Plot No . 1 & 2 Ishwar Nagar, Mathura Road, New Delhi -110065 Ph: 91.11.43011111, Fax: 91.11.43011199 East | Kolkata | DPS Corporate Club 1st Floor, 9A Sebak Baidya Street, Kolkata– 700029 Ph: 91.33.40680111 Raipur | Magnetto Offizo, Office No.546, 5th Floor, Magnetto The Mall, G.E.Road, Labhandi, Raipur. Ph: 91.771.4264571 West | Mumbai | Time Square Building, 3rd floor, Western Express Highway, Andheri (E), Mumbai - 400069 Ph: 91.22.61991111, Fax: 91.22.61991115 Ahmedabad | 4, Megabyte Business Centre, Navrang Building, Opp, Samsung Show room. Swastik Char Rasta, C.G.Road, Ahmedabad - 380009 Ph: 91.79.40193627 Indore | 7/1, 409, 4th Floor Ratan Mani Complex, Opposite Inter Star Showroom, New Palasia, Indore - 452001 Ph: 91.731.4248881 South | Bangaluru| 1010 A Wing, 10th Floor, Mittal Towers, M.G. Road, Bangaluru-560001, Karnataka, India, Ph: 91.80.40921037-38, Fax: 91.80.41510657 Hyderabad | 1-11-222/2 Ground Floor, Street No.4, Gurumurthy lane, Begumpet, Hyderabad-500 016 Andhra Pradesh, Ph: 91.40.40021545 Chennai | FL 9, Alsa Mall, First Floor, 149 Montieth Road, Egmore, Chennai 600008, Ph: 044-42015685 Fax : 044-42015684 FHM India MAGAZINE Printed AND PUBLISHED BY VIKAS JOHARI ON BEHALF OF MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (INDIA) PVT. LTD. PUBLISHED AT MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (INDIA) PVT. LTD. Unit No F2b ( Second Floor) Mira Corporate Suites, Plot No . 1 & 2, Ishwar Nagar, Mathura Road, New Delhi -110065, india. Distributed by: CNA Distributors 4-E/15, Jhandewalan Extension, Ashoka Centre-2nd Floor, New Delhi-110055 Ph No-41541111. Fax No-91-011-23626036 FHM INDIA MAGAZINE is published monthly. FHM INDIA MAGAZINE IS A TRADEMARK OF BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA AND THE MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (India) pvt. ltd. AND THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF FHM INDIA MAGAZINE are COPYRIGHTED TO BAUER CONSUMER MEDIA AND MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (INDIA) PVT. LTD. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THE WRITING, ARTWORK AND/OR PHOTOGRAPHY CONTAINED HEREIN MAY NOT BE USED OR REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (India) pvt. ltd. DOES NOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY FOR LOSS OR DAMAGE OF UNSOLICITED PRODUCTS, MANUSCRIPTS, PHOTOGRAPHS, ARTWORK, TRANSPARENCIES OR OTHER MATERIALS. MAXPOSURE MEDIA GROUP (India) pvt. ltd. DOES NOT ASSUME ANY LIABILITY FOR SERVICES OR PRODUCTS ADVERTISED HEREIN. FOR INQUIRIES PH: 91.11.43011111, fax: 91.11.43011199 www.fhmindia.com

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december 2013

IT’S GREAT TO BE A MAN edited BY CHRIS SAYER

who she? Age: “Not telling, but I was born on St Patrick’s Day.” (The internet says she’s 26) From: Brazil Likes: Travelling, Will Ferrell movies, Aerosmith Dislikes: Spelling errors, peanuts, dishonesty Twitter: @stephaniefanta

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December 2013

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Stylist: Jeff K Kim Hair: Giovanni Giuliano Make-up: Patrick Tumey Location: Paula Salvatore, Sr Director of Capitol Studios

Would Wife

America’s Next Big Star

M eet S te p h anie F anta u z z i ,

t h e B ra z i l ian - born mo d e l an d a c tress bringing t h e se x y to S h ame l ess U S A

S TU H OO D

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S t e p h e n B u sk e n

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December 2013

9

Would Wife

till harbouring doubts as to whether America does telly better than us? Erase them by downloading Shameless USA immediately, because it stars the lovely Stephanie Fantauzzi. The Florida-raised model and actress plays Estefania, the short-tempered, sex-loving, clothes-shy daughter of a Brazilian drug lord. Estefania’s most memorable moments of the series include an angry, nude booty call, having an orgasm in the back of a car, getting her tan lines spray-tanned in front of an audience, and dangling from the roof of the Sears Tower wearing only a thong. OK, we made that last one up but, still, her character’s done some crazy shit. With some serious top-secret acting jobs lined up for the rest of 2013, Stephanie is tipped to be US telly’s hottest new star. Say “olá!”, everyone… 10

December 2013

FHM: Hi Stephanie! So Shameless USA must be pretty fun to be part of. Stephanie: It really is. We have amazing writers who push every script to the limit. I can’t believe some of the crazy storylines they manage to come up with. There are basically no boundaries. FHM: Your character Estefania is not exactly shy, is she? Stephanie: No, she’s not. She’s a free spirit who uses her assets to her advantage. But I like that about her. She knows how to use her sex appeal to get what she wants. Her needs definitely come first. FHM: How do you feel about getting naked on camera? Stephanie: I don’t agree with gratuitous sex scenes, but my scenes work because they show exactly who Estefania is. She is a stereotypical Brazilian, who is free with her body

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“The sex scenes are really beautifully shot, so everyone just looks amazing” FHM: Cunning. What other pranks do you play? Stephanie: I’ve done loads and loads of great ones (see her best pranks over the page), but a couple of recent ones I liked were using an app to prank call my friends until they were at the point of calling the cops, and making up crazy stuff that my hungover friend had supposedly done the night before. It’s fun freaking people out who have drunk memory loss. FHM: Are you a big drinker? Stephanie: Not really. I’d definitely be considered a lightweight by any standards. When I’m working, I’ll have a glass of wine at most, but when I’m having fun, my drink is Jameson whisky, ginger ale and cherry. FHM: Blimey. Did you pick that up in Ireland? Stephanie: No. I’ve never been to Ireland or Britain, but I’m dying to visit. I have bikinis, Beach bunny friends who visit London all previous page: the time and they rave shirt and bikini bottoms, Gap bikini, beach bunny about the underground music scene and the fashion. Hopefully I’ll get over this summer. But I hear it’s cold, and celebrates it. When you see it like that, getting naked so I’ll definitely have to pack my Victoria’s Secret hoodie. is nothing to be ashamed of. Also, the sex scenes are FHM: It is indeed pretty cold. What other fun stuff are beautifully shot, so everyone looks amazing. you up to? FHM: True. You also look amazing in this shoot. Did you Stephanie: Work-wise, I’m shooting a pilot for a TV show enjoy it? and a film. Aside from that, I want to get home to Florida for Stephanie: It really was so much fun – definitely the best a bit and then hopefully head to the Caribbean for some shoot I have ever done. It was playful, flirty and sexy. I loved relaxing beach time. frolicking on the beach with my rubber ducky, popsicles and FHM: Are you a swimmer on a sunbather? water gun. Stephanie: I’m a beach bum. When my mum was pregnant FHM: Are you handy with a water pistol? with me she spent lots of time lying around eating exotic Stephanie: I like to think I can hold my own when the fruits on the beach, and that trait has definitely been passed water starts flying. Not that I always play fair. I’m a huge down to me. Growing up, if I wasn’t at school, I’d be lying on prankster, so rather than get involved in a fight, I like to the beach with friends. creep up on people and drench them when they least FHM: What’s the best way for a guy to get your attention expect it. on the beach? 12

December 2013

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Bikini, beach bunny Heels, jimmy choo

Would Wife

1 “Honey, I’m pregnant” “This is a classic trick any girl can play. I’ve only done it once to an ex-boyfriend, but it worked a treat. Poor guy. He just went straight into panic mode.”

2 Ketchup cut “I prank my mum at least once a year. The best one I’ve done involved me pouring ketchup on my arm, then screaming that I’d cut myself cooking. You should have seen her face.”

“My character knows how to use her sex appeal to get what she wants. Her needs definitely come first”

3 The car move “You swipe your friend’s keys, move their car round the corner and then put the keys back in their jacket. When they go out, they think they’ve been towed and go mental. It’s hilarious.”

Stephanie: It’s sexy when someone clearly cares about their body and is in good shape. FHM: So once we’ve worked out and got the beach body, then what? Stephanie: Maybe pull the classic throwing-the-ball-orFrisbee-to-your-friend-but-accidentally-hitting-a-hot-girl trick. It’s a total cliché, but it gives you a chance to apologise and then throw in the charm and wow them with your sense of humour. I can’t promise this trick will work for every girl, but it will work with me. Aside from a guy being in shape for the beach, a good sense of humour is a huge thing for me. FHM: Cool. So what’s next – do we just hand over our number and wait for your call? 14

December 2013

S te phanie ’ s most S hameless prank s

Stephanie: No, the beach is a good place to start chatting, but that’s it. Asking for a girl’s number right there and then makes her feel cornered and uncomfortable. So instead of doing that, mention a bar you’re heading to and suggest she and her friends join you later. If that happens, and the vibes are still good, then it’s fair game to exchange contact details. FHM: Excellent. Finally, you mentioned getting your body beach ready. What’s your opinion on male body hair? Do you like a hairy chest? Stephanie: If you have one of those Persian rugs on your chest, then you should probably trim it to keep it tidy. But if it’s just a little bit of hair, I’d say keep it – I love the rough-and-ready look. Keep your stubble unshaven, too. The five-o’clock-shadow look is always a hot one in my opinion.

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ly, l a n Fi me so d gooArt 3 PG-1

This month’s Art

It’s time to be liberated from yawn-inducing pictures of mono-browed women and haystacks. FHM uncovers some good, moderately disturbing art. 16

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The man who paints with his penis

Australian Tim Patch uses his pecker to paint. That’s right, this guy has traded his paintbrush in for a tool he always has on hand, and has affectionately named himself “Pricasso”.

Great Wall of Vagina

Female genitalia has long been a source of fascination, recently of celebration too, but generally, of confusion. It would seem creating images of the vagina is the sole preserve of pornographers, erotic artists and feminists. Or is it? Step in British artist Jamie McCartney who has grasped the nettle to create a monumental wall sculpture on this most intimate of places. So for 400 women, their privates have gone very public.

RoadKill Art

American artist Kira Ayn Varszegi uses her 38DD breasts as brushes to create original paintings. Kira Ayn’s technique maybe original, but it’s also rather simple — she just applies oil paint directly to her breasts and presses them against the canvas. The process is repeated several times, using various colour combinations and transfer techniques, until she’s satisfied with her work. Kira claims the secret to her success lies in the way she mixes colours in order to get a well-balanced composition, but we think it might have something to do with her boobs.

project fhmindia.com

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Toting Tongue

Now here’s a hobby that’s bound to leave a bad aftertaste in your mouth. Ani K, from Kerala, makes paintings using his tongue. No, he doesn’t hold a paintbrush with his tongue, as we mistakenly believed at first. He actually slathers paint on it, which he then transfers on to the canvas to create beautiful images.

Words: Nishant Nayyar

The painter who uses her breasts

Adam Morrigan, an artist from Gloucestershire in Britain, creates works of art from road kill and actually sells some of them as well. Adam is one of the most unusual artists on the planet and makes a living creating and selling artworks made from the carcasses of dead animals he finds around his neighbourhood. He often cooks and eats the road kill he finds, but what he can’t eat, he turns into pieces of dead art.

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OWN THE MORNING

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All the gear you need to get a headstart on your day [1]

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Photography: Andy Parsons

1. LISTEN UP Hall & Oates’s music will make you feel like you’re the happiest man alive, no matter what hour of day it is. Just ask Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character Tom in (500) Days Of Summer. `300, local record store

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2. GRIND IT YOURSELF Throw out that instant coffee and grind up some beans to get the freshest possible mug of the good stuff. It’s worth the extra effort, honest. Barista , `325,

December 2013

3. DRINK LIKE An OLYMPIAN Chuck 250g of Greek yoghurt, 500g of frozen berries and any other fruit into this, and you’re drinking the breakfast of a Team GB Olympic swimmer. Kenwood kMix blender, `1,527 , kenwoodworld.com 4. STUDY THE BIBLE If you’re going to trust anyone to write a bible on breakfast, it should be a man with a name like Malcolm Eggs, co-author of this fine book. The Breakfast Bible, `1,496, amazon.com

5. SEE THE LIGHT Let this light rouse you from a slumber instead of an alarm clock. It’s clinically proven to help your AM energy levels. Philips Wake Up Light, `9,429, amazon.com 6. PIMP up YOUR WALLS Early-morning inspiration is hard to come by. Encourage staring at this vintage map by Douglas Wilson. Make Your Own Path, `2,012, thecalmgallery.com 7. MAKE AN IMPRESSION Got lucky last night? Now’s

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the time to impress her with your morning-after skills. Start with a killer brew and…Cappuccino beaker set, `1,132, pedlars.co.uk 8. BOIL IT OLD SKOOL …make it the way your grandad did, plus help save the environment in the process. stove top kettle, `150, local grocery shop 9. WATCH IT BROWN Who needs hangover telly when you can see your slices of Hovis brown up perfectly right before your eyes? Fear for your job, fhmindia.com

Co Materoial ls

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FOUR THINGS MEN CAN DO WITHOUT IN THE AM A BEEPING ALARM CLOCK

Being awoken by the evil “NERRRGK! NERRRGK!” of an alarm clock is no way to start a triumph-filled day. If you must use your phone to rouse yourself from your slumber, set the alarm with something truly inspirational, such as a Winston Churchill speech over the instrumental of Kanye West’s I Am A God.

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A BISCUIT BREAKFAST

Even the most high-flying trillionaire can find 30 seconds to pour some flippin’ milk on some Frosties. If you’re frantically guzzling down one of those “breakfast biscuit” abominations on the way to work, you need to have a stern word/face-slap with yourself.

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CHEAP-ASS SHOWER GEL

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James Martin. Magimix Vision two-slice toaster, `145, Selfridges 10. TAKE YOURS COLD Pour over ice with milk and wake up with the taste of New Orleansstyle iced coffee. Plans are afoot to bring it from Brooklyn to Britain soon. `943 + delivery charges, gradyscoldbrew.com 11. SLATHER IT ON America knows its pancakes, so who are we to protest when it comes to their favourite syrup of over a century? Aunt Jemima fhmindia.com

Original Syrup, `500, Modern Bazaar 12. DON top THREADS Nothing says “I’m going to kick today’s arse” like fresh-outta-thepackaging cotton socks. `1,257, happysocks.com 13. EAT LIKE A HERO Rome wasn’t built in a day. Why? Because they didn’t eat a mountain of waffles for brekkie. Waffle iron, `1,218, junglee.com 14. FUEL YOUR FIRE To hell with the morning queue at Starbucks. Get this on the heat

and in a few minutes you’ll have a kick-starting espresso. Bialetti espresso maker, `1,450, amazon.com 15. LOOK SHARP Ironing stuff is a right pain in the arse, so take a bullet and do that work shirt the night before. That way, you can reward yourself with a nightcap. Shirt, `1,257, asos.com 16. REST YOUR HEAD Because history’s greatest men didn’t sleep in only-average bedsheets. striped pillow set, `2,200, junglee.com

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For around four pence extra per day, you can leave the house smelling like a premium, high-end super-gent, rather than a penny-pinching, own-brand scrubberman. (And if your shower gel costs less than ` 50, you may as well wash yourself in horse-piss anyway.)

NEGLECTED MORNING GLORY

Nothing puts a swagger in your morning like a bit of pre-breakfast sexyfuntime. Just think: here you are, chatting away to Jill the receptionist about her weekend, and yet just two hours ago you were face-deep in your girlfriend’s knockers. This must be what Russell Brand feels like, all the time.

December 2013

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the Coolest

The country of the richest of the rich has just incorporated the Brabus B63S-700 Widestar to its police fleet. The police in Dubai already have Carbon Motors E7, Nissan GT-R, Ferrari FF, Lamborghini Aventador and an Aston Martin One-77 in their fleet. Some of the cheaper cars that their cops drive are the Hyundai Genesis, Ford Mustang, Chevrolet Camaro SS, Bentley Continental GT, BMW M6 and the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG.

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December 2013

DUBAI POLICE

DUBAI POLICE

DUBAI POLICE

DUBAI POLICE

a few more

Lamborghini Aventador

Price: `5.05 - 5.62 cr 0-100 kmph: 3 seconds CC: 6500 Top Speed: 350 Kmph Max power: 700 Bhp Max torque: 690 Nm

Aston Martin One-77

Price: `2 cr 0-100 kmph: 3.7 seconds CC: 7300 Top Speed: 320 Kmph Max power: 750 Bhp Max torque: 750 Nm fhmindia • fhmindia

Carbon Motors E7

Price: $80,000 (2008 est) 0-100 kmph: 6.5 seconds CC: 3000 Top Speed: 250 Kmph Max power: 300 Bhp Max torque: 570 Nm

ferrari ff

Price: `1.53 crore 0-100 kmph: 3.7 seconds CC: 6262 Top Speed: 335 Kmph Max power: 650 Bhp Max torque: 683 Nm

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cop cars Qatar

Bugatti Veyrons

desi drive A look at the vehicles that Indian police gets to drive.

The cops here get to drive Bugatti Veyrons, but they are known for their love for Porsche sports cars. These premium cars are not used for some GTA type chases, but for patrolling the streets.

delhi police

South Africa

Lamborghini Gallardo

Considering the high crime rate here, the South African police have incorporated Lamborghini Gallardos in their fleet. They have both the manual and automatic variants.

While Indian police is still struggling to phase out their Gypsy’s, police contingents the world over are taking Porsches, Bugattis and Ferraris for a spin…

Italy

Lamborghini Gallardo

Just like South African police, even the Italy Police drives Lamborgini Gallardos, which is a brand developed in the country itself. As a policy, Italian police uses only homegrown cars.

Germany

Merc Brabus Rocket CLS

The Germans, like the Italians, believe in their own brands, so they use Mercedes Benz Brabus Rocket CLS, which was declared the fastest street legal salon in 2006. It’s the fastest police car in the world as well.

chevrolet tavera

delhi police

toyota innova

Agra Police

Honda CBR

England

USA

Australia

Austria

mumbai Police

tamil nadu Police

Hyundai Accent fhmindia.com

Lamborghini Gallardo

The police force drives everything from small family cars like the Ford Focus, Hyundai i30, Peugeot 308 and the Vauxhall Astra to BMW 3 Series, the Vauxhall Vectra, BMW 330 Diesel and Volvo V70.

Dodge Charger

The best officers in New York and several other states in America drive a Dodge Charger, which is loaded with either a 5.7-liter EZD HEMI or a 6.4-liter ESG HEMI V8 engine and can accelerate from zero to 60 miles per hour in just 4.3 seconds. fhmindia • fhmindia

Lotus Exige

The Oz police uses the coupe version of the two-seater two-door Lotus Exige. This sports car has a 1.8-liter Toyota supercharged I4 engine combined with a six-speed manual transmission system, and can zoom from zero to 60 in 3.88 seconds.

Porsche 911

It’s not just cars like the Porsche 911 that the Austrian police are known for, they also have a fleet of expensive bikes.

December 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

Mahindra Jeep

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letters

The Kitchen sink I have realised that writing to FHM is a thankless job. You guys just don’t appreciate our letters. You just reward some stupid second rate letter with the letter of the month. Your last month’s winner thought that Sarah-Jane Dias will soon replace Katrina Kaif. You have to be either stupid or blind to believe that. I have given up. You guys can keep rewarding the unworthy letters and ignore the real talent. I thought you guys were honest about rewarding the letter of the month, but I was wrong. You folks need to rethink. Insincerely yours. Capt Oscar Louis

Have a drink Oscar... Like the Goans say Susegad. Your November issue was sheer dynamite Honestly, I never read a single issue of FHM magazine before the one in November 2013. My hubby is obsessed with your magazine. He buys a copy every month, is glued to it for a good 48 hours at a stretch, and is virtually non communicado to the rest of the family (not that I’m complaining). In fact, I have always ascribed to the popular notion that

november 2013

mens’ magazines are by and large steeped in sex, drugs, rock n roll, topless girls and testosterone imbibed articles dripping with machismo with little or no literary value or entertainment. However, my husband’s undying fondness for FHM triggered off my curiosity. So one day I decided to discover for myself – what’s the big deal about FHM. Surprise! Surprise! To say I was shocked would be an understatement.... I’m shellshocked. I sincerely loved it! FHM is more of a lifestyle statement – vivacious, vibrant, vitriolic and entertaining to the core. Your November issue was sheer dynamite. I loved each and every page. From sizzling Nicole Scherzinger to iconic MESSI and then from funny guy Russell peters to yummy butter chicken, you guys got all the action in those 120 pages. Just how do you guys do it? Dr. Indu Sattur, Mumbai

We stick to the basics Docr – No farce, just fun.

via fhm India Facebook page Scorcher! Anurag Roy on Access Girl

Sexy looking

Neeraj Verma on cover girl

Are all the desi bandiyaan too busy doing gigs this diwali?

Sandeep Nimmakayulu on cover girl

F1 stories work well I am a huge F1 fan, so I liked your cover girl Nicole Scherzinger very much. I have seen her earlier in the pit garages supporting her beau Lewis Hamilton, but I must say you truly captured her sensuality. Many guys must be thankful to God that she is single again and ready to mingle.

Naseem, New Delhi

Naseem, we wish all dads were like you.

This letter has won an Esprit Verdugo PU Black Watch

Don’t want to disappoint you but Nicole is committed again. December 2013

This magazine is full of happiness and is therapeutic I first read FHM at the IGI Airport waiting hall last month. In that issue, a celebrity (I don’t remember her name) in her interview had said that FHM is for lads, so I gave my son a copy of FHM, which he took to his school. Next year he’ll be in college. They all talked about 50 countries on a BMW bike. This magazine is full of happiness and is therapeutic. However, I didn’t like editor’s letter’s introductory line – anniversaries are boring, babies as prize and the death watch, which I found disturbing. Visa rules for Indians is useful. Good to see soccer stories, while everyone talks of cricket. Try interviewing Sachin Tendulkar. Strong looks for cooler weather was timely, while the story on RJs and Work Hard & Be Nice to People was interesting. Sexy telly special was the icing on the cake. Keep up the good work.

Esprit is an attitude and not an age; Esprit is for the young of heart who live and dress in a style that leaves others fuming.

Arun Kumar Ghosh, West bengal

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l e tt e r o f t h e m o n t h

fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com

jokes access

a Date in a BMW CAR Boy: Maine tumse ek baat chupai hai. Girl: Kya? Boy: I am already married. Girl: Tumne to dara diya tha, mai samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai.

Rags to riches Teacher: Imagine you are a millionaire and write your life history. Student didn’t write anything. Teacher: Why are you not writing? Student: I am waiting for my secretary to take notes. Height of Flirting Girl calls a boy Girl: Hello baby Boy: Ohh janu bolo Girl: Kahan ho yaar subah se koi ata pata nahi Boy: Are hum to khoye huye hain aapki aankhon me. Girl: Abhi kya kar rahe ho? Boy: Tumhaari photo dekh raha huin, kahin aur man hi nahi lag raha. Girl: Maine to tumhe koi pic di hi nahi. Boy: Are mere dil me chapi hai barson se. Girl: But hum to parson hi mile hain. Boy: Tumhare bina har ek pal barson hai Pinky. Girl: Pinky? Ye pinky kaun hai? Main toh Nisha huin. Boy: Tumse baat karke main to sab bhool jata huin. Girl: Tum Vicky ho na? Boy: Gharwale to Gaurav bulate hain, lekin wo galat ho sakte hain tum nahi. Girl: Ye 98XXXXXXXX hai na? Boy: Ab tak nahi tha par ab tum kehti ho to yehi hai. Son Teaching His Dad How To Eat OREO Biscuits Son: Pehle open karo, phir lick karo aur phir dip karo. Dad: Son, don’t teach you dad how to fuck.

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December 2013

Half truth Pappu: Mumma kal papa kaamwali ko sofey per leta kar... Mom: Bus Beta! Raat ko jab papa aayen toh phir batana... Papa ke aatey hi Mom: Haan beta ab batao kya hua? Pappu: Papa kaam wali ko sofey per leta kar jo Sharma Uncle aap ke saath karte hain woh kar rahe the. Classic insult Dukandar: Bolo saheb, kya chahiye? Customer: Biwi ke kutte ke liye cake lene aaya hun, milega kya? Dukandar: Yahi khaoge ya parcel karke dun?

Our long term relationship starts (looks at watch)....now

ground and says, “Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune.” She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.” EPIC PJ Teacher: Agar ek aam ki daali par

CLEVER SHE A woman and man get into a car accident. Though their cars are totally demolished, neither one of them is hurt. After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, “Wow, look at our cars – there’s nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other.” The man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely.” The woman points to a bottle on the

Be FUNNIER THAN VIR DAS

bad pickup lines

10 kele lage hain, aur un mein se saat amrood tod liye toh kitne angoor bache? Student: Sirf 9 haathi. Teacher: Wah! Tumhe kaise pata chala? Student: Sir kyu ki main aaj tiffin mein gobhi ki sabzi laya huin. Moral: Rozana brush karo warna petrol mehenga ho jaayega. ONly a Man can Understand a Man Customer: I want to buy a ladies watch. Shopkeeper: Sir, wife ke liye chahiye yaa phir branded dikhaun?

SIZE DOES MATTER Raju and his wife Pummy are facing hard financial times, so they decide she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Raju says, ‘’Stand in front of that pillar and pick up a guy. Tell him your rate is `5000. If you’ve got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner. She’s not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says, “How much?” “Five thousand rupees.” “Damn. All I’ve got is two thousand.’’ ‘’Hold on,’’ she says and runs

back to Raju, and asks, “What can he get for two thousand?’’ “A handjob,” Raju replies. She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for `2000 is a handjob. He says okay, she gets in the car, he unzips his pants, and out pops a very very HUGE male unit. She stares at it for a minute and then says, ‘’I’ll be right back.’’ She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly, “Raju, can you please give `3000 to that man?

share gags, earn cash. K n ow a n y f u n n y j o k e s ? E v e ry g ag u s e d e a r n s yo u ` 2 5 0 ( h a h a ) . S e n d t h e m to

Get pro tips on the #FHMLIVEAPP

f h m @ m a x p os u r e. i n

fhmindia • fhmindia

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news access

A new bill wants porn stars to wear safety goggles

that a quarter of men lie about being in love with their partner while they are getting intimate. However, the corresponding figure for the fairer sex is just 6 percent. When it comes to faking tears during sex though, as many women are likely to do it as men – 6.25 percent. The best Indian restaurant is in Bangkok

Bra to Tweet

This bra designed by OgilvyOne Athens to promote breast cancer awareness tweets every time it’s unhooked. Greek celebrity Maria Bacodimou, who has over 1.5 lakh Twitter followers, is currently wearing it.

A new proposal in a bill makes it mandatory for porn stars to wear protective sunglasses. The bill has been a topic of heated discussions earlier as well, when it made it mandatory for porn starts to wear condoms to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Water interrupts the premiere of Titanic artifact show

A leading restaurant magazine has declared Gaggan, an Indian restaurant in Bangkok, as the 66th best restaurant in the world and the best Indian restaurant in the world. Ladies made to grope men’s crotches for charity

The opening show of the travelling exhibition that comprised of artifacts discovered from the ruins of the unsinkable ship and its recreated rooms was cancelled in Atlanta’s Premier Exhibition Center due to disruptions caused by a waters source.

According to several media reports, a French hand sanitiser company called Merci Handy hired women to grope strangers’ crotches in return for a donation. Any man who wanted these ladies to go cup their crotch had to pay $13.5 and the company ended up raising $700 in total.

Men fake ‘I love you’ more than women

Oreo is as addictive as cocaine American researchers in Connecticut College Study have said that Oreo cookies are as addictive as cocaine because both of them deliver the same amount of happiness. For the experiment, scientists fed the cookies to rats and then studied the brainwaves. It was found that the biscuits had the same happy effect on the rats as that of cocaine. The study was done to support the belief that fatty and sugary foods have the same effect on the brain as drugs.

Youth in Japan aren’t making out

In a survey conducted by the Japan Association for Sex Education, 40% women confessed to being a virgin. The research was aimed to dig deep into the sexual habits and dating practices of female college students. In fact, a survey by National Institute of Population and Social Security Research found that 61% of unmarried men and 49% of women in the age group of 18-34 are not in any sort of relationship. Another study conducted by Japan Crush found that 30% of unmarried men have never dated a woman. 26

December 2013

A new study has suggested that during a sexual encounter, men fake an ‘I love you’ more than woman. The new survey conducted by The Sunday Telegraph in Australia stated

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fhmindia.com

19 grEAT

1

2

3

4

looking

covers

How you can use them on door mats, as coasters and even to laminate your door... Inputs by Dimple Kohli, Director, Qboid Design House

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1. 2 States by Chetan Bhagat A tale of a boy and a girl from two different states of India who are deeply in love with each other. Use it as a lamination for the washroom door.

3. Afterlife: Ghost Stories from Goa by Jessica Faleiro It compiles intriguing ghost stories of the Fonseca family. Will make a stunning doormat.

2. Don’t Lose Your MindLose Your Weight by Rujuta Diwekar It unveils many myths on weight loss and dieting. It is the perfect poster for your home gym.

4. Constitutional Law: Principles and Policies by Erwin Chemerinsky It’s a Bible for law students, professors, and practitioners. Great for the office pin-board.

December 2013

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5. Bhagavad Gita by various authors The scripture part of the Hindu epic Mahabharata – it’s considered a universal jewel of India’s spiritual wisdom and is something you can read daily to invigorate your life. Put the Bhagawad Gita cover page’s digital print of the on the door of your mandir. 6. Choose Life – A Dialogue between Arnold Toynbee and Daisaku Ikeda Two world leaders exchange their views and fhmindia.com

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7. What Young India Wants by Chetan Bhagat It is a compilation of Bhagat’s essays and speeches on India, its youth, its society, culture and politics. It contains his ideas of what he thinks the youth of the country want. Print it on a fabric and use it as cushion cover, fhmindia.com

or just paint it on the cushion cover. 8. 50 Shades of Grey by EL James An erotic, amusing and deeply moving tale intended for mature audiences. Print it on vinyl and use it as bedroom door lamination. 9. FREEDOM AT MIDNIGHT by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre It is a poignant reminder of the defining fhmindia • fhmindia

moments of the end of the British Raj, the independence of 400 million people, and their division into India and the newly created Pakistan. Print it on butter paper and stick it on wine/ beer bottles that can then be used as a lamp in your hall or balcony. 10. Mastery by Robert Greene A definitive guide to manifesting our potential, put together by studying history’s most powerful people. It’s helpful in developing mastery and gaining true power over our chosen path in life. December 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

try to find answers to the issues and problems that confront humanity. Get it printed on two different fabrics and use it as covers for a set of chairs kept side by side.

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11

14

Use the painting, which portrays human mind and our control over it. 11. My Journey: Transforming Dreams into Action by APJ Abdul Kalam He takes us through his life and his inspirations from when he was a child right up till today. We can get the book cover printed on vinyl to make coasters. 12. Oxford Advance Learner’s Dictionary The biggest English language dictionary, it has been used by approximately 35 million readers all over the world. 30

December 2013

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15

Make a wall with different words and their meanings can be created, depending on the concept and theme of the area. 13. Wonder by R.J Palacio August Pullman is a 10-year-old boy who likes Star Wars and Xbox, and is ordinary in every way except for his jarring facial anomalies. Homeschooled all his life, August heads to public school for fifth grade and he’s not the only one changed by the experience –something we learn first-hand through the narratives of those who orbit his world. August’s internal dialogue and interactions with students and family ring true and though remarkably courageous, he fhmindia • fhmindia

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comes across as a sweet, funny boy who wants the same things as everyone else: friendship, understanding, and the freedom to be himself. Décor for a boy’s room with a theme based on friendship, understanding and the freedom to be himself. Give his bed a Xbox and Star Wars theme. 14. SD Burman and The World Of His Music by Khagesh D Burman In this book, the author gives readers an up close and personal glimpse into the public and private life of music’s most iconic figure. Make coasters.

fhmindia.com

★

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fhm Loves

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15. Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson It gives unique insight into the life of a man who has transformed the way we live today. Get it printed on any big glass door.

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different countries’ currencies on it.

16. The City of Joy by Dominique La Pierre A book about living saints and heroes who abandoned their affluent and middle class lives to dedicate themselves to the poor. Use it as an imprint for a bookrack.

18. The Complete Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Dyle The stories featured in this book display Holmes’ detective skills, his ability to solve difficult cases quickly, his knack at using logical reasoning and forensic science, and his talent at disguising himself. Make a large cube puzzle with Sherlock Holmes’ pictures and skills in graphic forms.

17. The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith It accounts economic trends prevalent at the dawn of the industrial revolution. Put a digital print top on your centre table with

19. The Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela This book shows Mandela’s commitment to change the destiny of an entire nation. Get it printed on a paper weight.

fhmindia.com

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December 2013

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access

who’S she? NAME Rhea Gupte Lives in Mumbai Occupation Model and blogger

Winter’s coming? Not for her though

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December 2013

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fhmindia.com

December

Girl Next

FHM: As far as we can judge from these pictures, you are quite a vibrant girl... Rhea: Yes. I’m also confident, ambitious and fun loving. FHM: It seems you had a lot of fun during this shoot? Rhea: I love swimsuits as they are insanely sexy. The shoot was a blast too, as there was a continuous supply of laughter, food, great music and amazing talent. FHM: Anything in particular that the photographer insisted on? Rhea: Nah, but they kept spraying me with water the whole day to keep mu skin glistening for the pictures. FHM: Which was the naughtiest part of the shoot? Rhea: It was a pretty straightforward professional fashion shoot. FHM: That’s soo boring... Rhea: It wasn’t actually, but I can’t really prove it you. FHM: So are you experimental when it comes to relationships? Rhea: Define experimental. FHM: Woah! No one’s ever asked us that before, so umm, let’s skip this question. Rhea: Ok. FHM: Can you recall a dating disaster? Rhea: None really. I have been very lucky till now. FHM: What are the things that fascinate you in a guy – money, car or physique? fhmindia.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

Rhea: A lanky yet toned Tommy Lee-esque physique is what I like. FHM: Really? We thought he looked a bit like a malnourished ghost. Rhea: I never said I like him, I like his physique. FHM: What’s your idea of a wild date? Please don’t say a candlelit dinner… we are looking for some fresh ideas. Rhea: A hot date on a private beach. FHM: Well, nine out of ten girls have the same idea for a wild date. Tell us, what makes you go wild? Rhea: Live performances of bands I love. FHM: What is that one thing that you just can’t resist? Rhea: The smell of Davidoff Cool Water. FHM: What are the things that you are addicted to? Chocolates and ice creams don’t count. Rhea: Strawberries and high heels. FHM: What makes you a good date? I will always show up looking fabulous. FHM: That’s how we like it… So tell us about your first hot date. Rhea: I don’t kiss and tell. FHM: Do you like to crib like other girls? Rhea: We all have our bad days, but I’m not the complaining sort. December 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav; Photographer: Omkar Chitnis

Door

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MOVIES

01

R... Raj Kumar

02 Action

Action

Dhoom 3

The third installment of the popular movie series Dhoom is back with a bang this month. This edition will see Abhishek Bachchan and Uday Chopra reprise their critical roles and Aamir Khan, the slash narcissist Mr. Perfectionist of Bollywood, joining the cast in a suave villainous role of a clown thief. Paired against him is Katrina Kaif, who plays the role of an acrobat diva. The film is the first Bollywood film being released on the IMAX format flaunting Dolby Atmos capabilities. Out on December 20th

03

Words: Nishant Nayyar

f see i Let’s Sinha, i h ks or Sona opular f lp i s p c a n he o h w s, g hit ur g ivin ahid K ap it! Sh h a er deliv

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This masala film revolves around an aimless fella Rajkumar (Shahid Kapoor) who works for a drug baron. On his latest mission, Rajkumar sets out to kill a rival drug lord, Manik December 2013

Drama

American Hustle Parmar, but his life changes forever when he sets his eyes on Chanda (Sonakshi Sinha). What he doesn’t know is that Chanda is an orphan who’s been raised by her uncle — Manik Parmar!

After some persistent wooing, Chanda falls for Rajkumar’s charms, but in order for their love to flourish, he must destroy the drug cartel first. Original no? Out on December 6th fhmindia • fhmindia

The story of a con artist and his partner in crime who are forced to work with a federal agent to turn the tables on other cons, mobsters, and politicians including the volatile mayor of impoverished Camden, New Jersey. The movie stars Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Bradley Cooper. Out on December 25th fhmindia.com

04 Comedy

Anchorman: The Legend Continues

The Legend Continues is the story of the on-set adventures of San Diego’s top rated newsman – Ron Burgundy (Will Ferell). After the plight that ensured the Channel 4 news team disbands and hits rock bottom, Ron and his team is reunited and recruited to bring up a new 24-hour news channel. The first cut of the movie was 4.5 hours long, and eventually it was re-edited to 2.5 hours. Phew! Out on December 20th

05

06

Horror

Carrie

Drama

This is a tale of a shy girl, Carrie White, who grew up with constant bullying that ultimately lead her to become an outcast. Her only friend and unwavering support is her mother (Julianne Moore), who religiously prays for her daughter. On prom night, Carrie is bullied by her peers to such an extent that she’s forced to unleash her telekinetic terror on her small town. Out on December 06th

fhmindia.com

Her

Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) is a complex, soulful man who makes his living writing touching personal letters for people. Heartbroken after the end of a relationship, he becomes intrigued with a new advanced operating system that promises to be an intuitive entity based individually on each user. As her needs and desires grow in tandem with his own their friendship deepens into an eventual love for each other. Out on December 18th

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December 2013

35

PROFILE

07

Fusion Jazz

T

hings have been on quite roll for Mr. Tiwari, but that wouldn’t have been the case had it not been for his lackluster Hotel Management course. The mischievous songwriter who loves to pen down words on his iPhone and has a remarkably urban yet desi fashion sense was all set to be the next best chef, but that wasn’t his calling. “I didn’t pursue Hotel Management because I liked it. I did it to avoid getting into an engineering course. At that point of time, the course was new in the professional space and the idea of

working in a 24 hour airconditioned environment in the company of prim and proper working professionals was what attracted me to the course”, he further adds. Ankur, who has been writing and singing his own songs since school, 36

December 2013

started losing interest in the course as soon as started his internship. He avoids talking about his internship by saying. “Hotel jobs are quite thankless.” But even with the tiresome working schedule that goes along with a hotel job, Ankur was able to find time for his true love — music. He maintains that he somehow was always able to carry a guitar along everywhere. “It is like a part of my body”, he tell us. He would write songs in his room and then sing them in restaurants where he worked to earn some quick bucks while still in college. He further adds, “Though I loved singing my own

tunes, I couldn’t get through a set without singing hits like Hotel California and other celebrated covers of that time. In India we shouldn’t forget what people crave for”. After college, he started writing full time and today has made his mark in the indie music scene. Ask

Ankur Tewari

Meet the barmy hatter who loves juggling his multiple roles as actor, songwriter, director and the force behind Ankur & The Ghalat Family.

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fhmindia.com

• He is an avid Instagrammer and firmly believes that social networking camera apps are a boon for people who can unknowingly hone their dexterity in photography. • He has recently acquired a record player and has asked us to send across a few records if we stumble upon them accidently. Preferably, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd.

him what made him choose the name Ghalat for his band and all he can say is “I pen down words that let the listener wander and get confused in, and that is why we chose the name Ghalat for our band. Even our band logo shows 4 men walking in the wrong direction. And that is in sync with the band’s identity and persona.” The band imbibes a lot of Urdu and Hindi notions in their lyrics, which makes it easier for them to communicate their thoughts and viewpoints to a vast gamut of listeners, hence building a great relationship with them. sk him what inspires him to document mellow lyrics and he responds, “I’m not sure what motivates me, but I like to write my thoughts as they come to me. I tend to do that even if I’m in a meeting because I am only as good as my ideas”. You will frequently spot Tiwari donning fedoras with Jaipuri chappals at events or even in

A

his videos, and the reason behind this overwhelming fashion sense are the two women in his life — his wife and his stylist. Between the ladies, he is as sorted with his looks as he is with his music and we know plenty of screaming fan-girls who couldn’t be happier! fhmindia.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

December 2013

Words: Nishant Nayyar

• Currently he has Nischay Parekh and Prateek Kuhad’s track on loop on his iTunes.

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08 Pitch-In

The next king of indian

FHM HERO

On why sense of humour matters to him and why he will give XBOX One a miss! FHM: You are already considered as the India’s next captain as such an early stage, how does that feeling sink in with you? Virat Kohli: It feels great to know that people trust me to lead the team. I’ve had my ups and downs but from day one my motto has been self belief so I backed myself, worked hard and it is

fhmindia.com

overwhelming to have people appreciate that effort. FHM: At this young age, people often consider you as a temperamental person. What do you do to take charge of things and keep your cool? Virat Kohli: I wouldn’t say I’m a temperamental person; I’m actually very calm off the field. On the field it’s more of

fhmindia • fhmindia

a passion than aggression. I don’t think I’ve ever let things get out of control but I am very passionate about this sport so that’s what you see, if I change that I won’t be me. FHM: Which has been your toughest opponent team and why? Virat Kohli: The toughest opponent team would be South Africa because they

December 2013

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scan this page to see virat’s best hits

have a very well balanced team. FHM: Which is one country you love playing against? Virat Kohli: The country I love playing against is England because they are extremely competitive. FHM: If not a cricketer then what would have you been? Virat Kohli: If not a cricketer I would probably be doing some sort of business with my brother or a regular job or something. I haven’t really thought about it. FHM: You do a lot of commercials for brands. Would you at some point of time want to try out your luck with movies? Virat Kohli: I haven’t thought about it. Brand commitments

are part of being a cricketer but I’ve never thought of acting as a career. I’m a cricketer, and that is what I love so why would I think about doing anything else. FHM: We hear you’re quite a videogamer... What’s your favourite? Virat Kohli: My favourite game is FIFA 14. FHM: Xbox One or PS4? PS4 because I’ve always had all the versions of Play Stations over the years. FHM: Being touted as a Delhi brat, what qualities do you take from your home city to your game? Virat Kohli: Delhi has instilled the qualities of being bold, challenging the opposition and being very confident of

right temperament can lead An average person to Greatness!

Kohli’s best performance that have brought him under limelight! 40

December 2013

2013

The Delhi lad now shares the fastest 5000 run record with Sir Viv Richards.

118 runs 2010

107 runs

vs Australia Made 118 runs while chasing a formidable total of 289 runs.

2011

vs New Zealand Made 107 runs just when the top order tumbled to the Maoris.

fhmindia • fhmindia

117 runs 2011

vs West Indies Made 117 runs to turn the table towards his team’s side.

133 runs 2012

vs Sri Lanka Made 133 runs as he swiftly dispatched the ball to the fence with precision.

183 runs 2012

vs Pakistan Made 183 runs while demolishing arch-rivals Pakistan with a big century.

fhmindia.com

Words: Nishant Nayyar

the records

5000 runs

FHM HERO my ability. I think that comes from the upbringing and the kind of people I’ve always had around me. FHM: You’ve restrained yourself from publicising personal affairs in public. So are you or are you not looking for a girl? Virat Kohli: Right now I’m focused on my game. Our schedule is packed so I don’t really have the time to maintain a personal life. But when the times right I’d like to settle for someone simple and honest and who values her family like me. Also, a good sense of humour can always move me. FHM: Decode your fashion style for us? Virat Kohli: I don’t have a specific style. I wear what I feel suits me and what I’m comfortable in. I don’t really follow trends. FHM: What is your fitness regime? Virat Kohli: My fitness regime depends on the time of the season. Between tours and series I follow the bare workout regime. But off season is where I hit it hard and am a regular at cardio and weight training. I believe that a strong core is essential for every sportsperson and therefore I work on it without fail. FHM: Any plans on getting more tattoos? Virat Kohli: Maybe. Tattoos are something that are very dear to me as they define me as a person and reflect my personality. However, one needs to know how to carry them off without appearing to come across as loud. FHM: According to you what makes a person a great sportsman – his talent or his temperament? Virat Kohli: The temperament is what makes one a good sportsman. Many players are overtly talented but they lack the right composure. I feel the right temperament can lead an average person to greatness.

fhmindia.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

December 2013

41

THE OSCAR

09

Film Heavy Weight

Make money on the Oscars It’s that time of year when Oscar-hungry masterpieces are unleashed upon the cinema-going public. Here are FHM’s big contenders for 2014’s top movie prize… LADY TO LOVE

12 YEARS A SLAVE The brutal and true story of Solomon Northup, detailing his kidnapping and sale into the Louisiana slave trade. This Steve McQueen (no, not that one)-directed flick took top honours at the Toronto film festival.

FHM P ic k

Gravity George Clooney and Sandra Bullock star in every agoraphobic’s worst nightmare, as a pair of astronauts left stranded by a space mission gone awry. Great on the eye, if not the blood pressure.

The wolf of wall street Martin Scorsese’s real-life story of hard-boozin’, hard-partyin’ New Yorker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio), whose billiondollar manipulation of the stock market funded decadent highs and crippling lows. Inside llewyn davis Having conquered the Wild West (True Grit), Texas backwaters (No Country For Old Men) and depressing middle America (Fargo), the Coen Brothers turn their attentions to the sounds of the ’60s in New York City.

Mandela: long walk to freedom Former EastEnders director Justin Chadwick takes his experience capturing the gritty, hard-knock-life of Walford and applies it to this biopic of one of history’s most famous sons – Nelson Mandela (Idris Elba).

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December 2013

WINNING ODDS Based on a book + true story + historical nasty =

Ashley Dyke

Sandra Bullock

(yep, she’s still got it)

AMERICAN HUSTLE This telling of a 1970s FBI crackdown on con artists is as good as an open invitation to give director David O Russell his long-craved statuette after near-misses with The Fighter and Silver Linings Playbook.

DRINK TO SMUGGLE IN

Rum and Coke Floating in space + insane cinematography x the Clooney factor = White Russian Superstar dream team + third-time luck x J-Law =

Jennifer Lawrence

Bourbon on the rocks Scorsese and DiCaprio + Sopranos writer x true story =

Margot Robbie

Carey Mulligan

Overpriced Champagne

Pint of Brooklyn lager

Coens + Cannes success + Americana =

True story x Stringer Bell + EastEnders drum beats at the end = Naomie Harris

fhmindia • fhmindia

South African Sauvignon Blanc fhmindia.com

Odds Courtesy Of Paddy Power. Correct At The Time Of Going To Press

IN A NUTSHELL

Issue 04· 2013

Mercedes-Benz

www.mercedes-benz.co.in

smarttrucking April-June 2013

Outdoor GUIDE

Powered by BharatBenz

SEX

Q4· 2013

STEPPING OUT Arjun Kapoor on alternate cinema and switching off

POWERED BY

DRIVING FORCE How Toto Wolff is charting out the F1 team’s success

THE PRODIGY A day in Berlin with the most intelligent car ever built - the new E-Class

HOW THE

PALLET

MOVES THE WORLD

Guarantee Absolute Safety of Goods Trade Secrets of India’s Top Logistics Players

M aX po s u r e M e di a G r o u p

Warsaw India's EDM dream Usain Bolt

CAVE-D IN A dive to the Earth's core for fun!

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Vol I • Issue IV • june 2013

moodscondoms • moodsplanet

A

1

crossings

republik

initiative

Days are Bright Nights Brighter

crossings.in

GAME

10 Game On

Assassin’s Creed

Black Flag brings back the Golden Age of Pirates. You play a freebooter who ends up being an Assassin

44

December 2013

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fhmindia.com

GA M E WA RS !

A suicidal krrish, a road rash me too and Anil Kapoor’s 24

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Though Assassin’s Creed 3 had some naval fight scenes, Black Flag lets you live on the seven seas, which is a breakaway from the usual jumping and climbing on buildings. Another added element is that your vessel needs to be upgraded regularly, so that it can weather storms and take on adversary fleets and complete missions. Another highlight is one on one ship attacks as you get to engage in fights and then mount the vessel with your crew. The multiplayer mode is quite competitive as well and comes with loads of customisation items and new abilities. The game takes things to a new level as players can use decoys and fool rivals. There are six different adventures laid out across eight maps, which keeps you interested. Assassin Creed Black Flag takes pole position in this series as it brings in more variations to the game play which revitalises the series and has high quality graphics at the same time.

Perhaps the first engaging game on Lumia As Krrish/Kaal/Kaya, you compete against other characters in the race to achieve various objectives like reachimg a chopper first or racing to the finish line.

The game is simple — you collect coins and other power boosters while riding your bike and avoiding colliding into anything. This one has eye catching graphics and is faintly reminiscent of Road Rash.

Verdict The latest instalment of Assassin Creed excels in open world play . Another aspect worth mention is the variety of side missions which are engaging. As long as you’re online gamers can rate missions which will go directly to the developers. The story is no doubt weak but the naval battles out on vast open seas surely keep fans entertained for a long time. fhmindia • fhmindia

Based on the popular TV series. 24, the mobile game gets full marks in the graphics department. Game play is a disappointing version of Frontline Commando though and there is too much lag in movement controls. December 2013

Words: Arup Das

T

he Assassin Creed series has been one of our all-time favourite franchises, so after finding out the latest adventure takes place in the world of pirates, we couldn’t have been more excited. This was a much-needed move by the developers to change the game’s ethos. Set in the 17th and 18th century, protagonist Edward Kenway sets off to the Caribbean in search of hidden treasure and discovers new lands. Before knowing what is actually happening, he gets in the middle of a war between the Templars and the Assassins. The new Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag is about more than just killing Templars, as now you will also be involved in naval battles and be expected to steer your crew to safety. This fourth installment of the series is a lot more involving than the ones before and you don’t get lost in translation with a long narrative progression like in Assassin’s Creed 3, so you are in the thick of things from the start and the game is a lot more pacier. This is good for both first timers and seasoned players. You will not have any complaints about the settings either, as the detailed graphics of ports like Havana and Kingston literally transport you to those places. Though the sights aren’t breathtaking like in previous games where grand sights like the Renaissance age in Italy or the Holy Land were showcased, it’s underwater layout takes you to tropical islands.

45

GAME

arkham Origins

A

rkham series rejuvenated Batman in the gaming world the same way Christopher Nolan did in Hollywood. Though Rocksteady was spot on with Arkham Asylum and Arkham City, new game maker Warner Bros has taken the safe path and retained the same gameplay. Arkham Origins is a prequel to the series where the cape crusader hasn’t met arch-nemesis Joker, is not friends with Gordon yet and the police find him a nuisance rather than an ally. Gotham City’s underworld king is the twisted Black Mask. Sick and tired of the meddlesome Batman, the gangster has taken out a $50,000 bounty on the Dark Knight’s head and the top eight assassins

The cape crusader is hunted down by 8 deadly assassins and the hunter becomes the hunted...

Excitement level:

01

11

Batman: Arkham Origins withstood competition from Grand Theft Auto V and FIFA 14 to claim the number one spot in its opening week in the UK

Time to Bat

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December 2013

On PC, PS3, Xbox 360

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fhmindia.com

FLASHBACK: ARKHAM CITY makes us feel like:

Those imaginary fights we have where we beat up a load of thugs with a series of increasingly slick moves, then rescue the girl. But not the real fights where we just grumble uselessly for the entire night. We loved: Batman, having duffed up the Joker in Arkham Asylum, was obviously not involved in the planning meeting where a portion of Arkham City is walled off and filled with criminals. Still, he loves punching dudes, so in he goes. As Batman’s navigating a city, rather than an asylum, his cape comes into play so you swoop moodily from building to building like a goth hang-glider. It looks awesome in 3D, too, if you can afford a 3D TV. We didn’t love:

Familiar gameplay

The familiar free flow movements and the gadgets are similar to the previous Arkham series. It is still all about fast paced attacks with kick and punch combo takedowns though. The slow-mo final move on your enemy is like Mortal Kombat’s fatality, which is a joy to watch. You do end up wishing that the action play had fhmindia.com

some new options apart from the typical block punch combo that becomes repetitive and boring after a point. Same old graphics

Call them lazy or sticking to the tried and tested formula, but Warner Bros have retained the same design and graphics from Arkham City. No doubt it looks good and keeps you engrossed, but you do wish you could differentiate

between the two games. The additions are so minor that they don’t even stand out. The Arkham series has taken out a new title every second year, so it’s time for them to start planning the next game from a clean slate and bring cutting edge graphics that will set it apart from the rest of the franchise. So game developers, please take some more time in developing the game itself. signing off

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Arkham Origins’ story keeps things intact and interesting. Yes, it’s a rehashed version of Arkham City, but the multiplayer options comes with an interesting format of three vs. three vs. two. The teams are Bane’s thugs, Joker’s thugs, and the dynamic duo of Batman & Robin. It’s a game worth buying for every Dark Knight fan as it brings in good gameplay and fairly involving action.

Recommended food and drink: Knuckle

sandwiches, obviously.

Excitement level:

77

%

Who doesn’t want to be Batman? Available on PC, PS3, Xbox 360

Words: Arup Das

from all over the world decide to cash in on this.

Catwoman is sexy, sassy and lots of fun to control – complete with her own set of stilletoed kill-moves – but you only get to control her for around 10 percent of the game. plays like: The awesome combat of Arkham Asylum taken to its logical limit, coupled with Just Cause 2-style free-roaming.

December 2013

47

nba 2K14 GAME

The Path to Greatness might not be the revolution we hoped for, but the rest of the game lives upto expectations.

12 F

irst and foremost, NBA 2K14 continues to get the core basketball systems almost spot-on, and that’s the key to its success. Unlike hoops sims from earlier console generations, this one simply shows no major weaknesses. Fast breaks are fun to execute but not too common or exploitable, and you can thank the tightened-up defense for that. Perhaps a side effect of that defensive upgrade is that goaltending is far too prevalent on both ends of the floor. We also saw an excessive amount of players on both sides either stepping out of bounds or catching a pass out of bounds in ways the pros just won’t do in real life.

48

December 2013

The first thing that jumps out at you is its presentation. From the opening ceremony to the signature player shooting, it nails the look and feel of the NBA. Player faces are uncanny and the real time promotions for upcoming games are impressive. The on-court action is just as smooth as the visuals. 2K14 has made a return to stick controls. Being able to perform all moves from the stick takes some getting used to, but once we nailed it down, we didn’t want to use buttons anymore. This year’s game focusses heavily on LeBron — with a dedicated mode called LeBron: Path to Greatness. This sort of career mode allows players to step into the fhmindia • fhmindia

shoes of James and decide whether to pursue a stint in Miami or test free waters. The latter is much more exciting, as it took us on a series of trades with other teams, eventually leading us back to Cleveland, where LeBron began his career. Online modes including the popular Association mode also make a comeback. There is enough to see and do in NBA 2K14 — the sheer attention to detail and ease of use is what really drew us in. It might not be the only basketball game in town, but NBA 2K14 is head and shoulders ahead of just about any other sports game in the market. fhmindia.com

Words: Arup Das

Hot Game

Out Now

WWE

2k14 Come on, admit it, you were dying to get your hands on this title just a little like us!

A

s much as we were glued to the WWE while growing up as kids, we dumped it like that fat kid who doesn’t drink when we got older. Plus, there was this little thing about fixing. But all that WWEbashing doesn’t take into account the splendid gaming experience this new title brings. THQ has revamped the game and made it more intuitive and interesting. The title has a breathtaking amount of content jam packed into it with 144 superstars past and present, stacks of match types and modes, and an amazing create mode. What really stands out though, is the ‘30 Years of Wrestlemania’

fhmindia.com

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December 2013

Words: Nishant Nayyar

13

mode that takes players through every key match of every single Wrestlemania event — a fantastic enlightening trip down memory lane. Beginning with its in-ring action, we found that even after months away from wrestling games, we were able to execute every move without missing a beat. Punches and kicks are a tad faster tan the last one and most reversals now automatically lead to a move, making WWE 2K14 instantly more fun than the reversal fest that was WWE 13. WWE 2K14 has a fairly deep cast as well. The roster is loaded with current and past superstars, some with multiple styles from different eras like Triple H circa WrestleMania 18 and The Undertaker from WrestleMania 11, complete with his iconic purple gloves and striped tie. Turning away from 30 Years of WrestleMania, we found the rest of WWE 2K14 to be largely the same as WWE 13, with a few notable exceptions. The Creation Suite includes an option to create custom championship belts (yes!), though they don’t usually end up looking as shiny and pretty like the real-life belts in the game (no!). WWE 2K14 is well worth it for wrestling fans. The fluid gameplay along with the 30 Years Of WrestleMania mode gives you enough content that will keep you coming back to take out your would-be opponents both offline and online.

49

FOOTBALLer scan this page to watch balotelli’s mightiest goals

Mad Mario Scoring impossible goals, crashing custom made sports cars, being a party animal and dating pornstars are the different strokes of Balotelli

50

December 2013

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14

Super Mario Balotelli is controversial par excellence

Volatile One

(Brawler) Balotelli had a bust up with his former boss and ex-Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini during training

(European Cup clash) Former club mates Joe Hart and Balotelli refuse to give an inch in the European Championship 2012 quarter-finals

(Bull’s eye) After scoring against Liverpool, Baloletti asks the English media why is he always targeted and severely criticised

(Fan’s favourite) He may fight with his team mates over who will take the free kick but he is adored by the fans because he scores when needed fhmindia.com

H

e is a genuine match winner but his antics off field and on it have made him an unpredictable player. Can Mario Balotelli live up to his talent and be the world’s most feared trigger man or will he remain in page 3 rag? Let’s find out. FHM: Everyone is talking about you going back to the English Premier League and joining Chelsea. Any truth in this as you had told the media that “you were treated unfairly in England”? Balotelli: I have always said I would find it hard to play for any English team apart from Manchester City – but in football you always have to say nothing is impossible. Towards the end of my time in England the press just liked to write about Mario – even if it wasn’t true what they were writing it anyway. That is what bothered me when people wrote things that were not true – but all the English press wanted to do was write about me. FHM: You are one of the most talented strikers in the world but you are better known for your controversies like burning down your house or on the field clash between you and Roberto Mancini. Have you now simmered down and well settled in Milan? Balotelli: I have been playing at the top since I was a young age. I was a young guy at Manchester City – and even younger when I was at Inter. Like any young man he takes time to mature – just when you are a professional football player the world is looking at you. I feel I have matured now – and just want to concentrate on my football and being the best. FHM: This season you joined AC Milan, arch rivals of your former club Inter Milan, did you face hostility from the fans? Balotelli: I think the game has changed – not many players stay at one club their whole career anymore. Of course you are going to get hostility in football – and that is fine. What I can’t stand is December 2013

51

FOOTBALLer racism – that is something completely different. It is something that there needs to be a serious punishment for. FHM: How do you think English Premier League is different from the Serie A and which league, in your opinion, is more demanding? Balotelli: I think they are very different. In England the defenders are more physical so that side of the game is tougher – but in Italy normally the setup of the teams is a lot more defensive so you have to find the space to expose defenders. In England the game is a lot more open. FHM: If a genie asks you which club would like to join what would be your answer? Balotelli: I am at a great club now in Milan. The winning tradition they have in Italy and in Europe is among the best in the world. It would not be right to answer this question – especially when I am at one of the best clubs in Europe already. FHM: You have already worked with Jose Mourinho do you rate him higher than Pep Guardiola and other top coaches? Balotelli: I can only comment on coaches I have worked under – and Jose is the best in the world. We didn’t always share the perfect relationship at Inter – but now our relationship is good and there is mutual respect between us. He is one of the most hungry and also intelligent men in football. He knows everything about the game – and he knows how to get everything out of his players. FHM: Who do you think should win Ballon d’or this year? Balotelli: I think individually Messi had the best season – but of course Bayern Munich achieved very special things last season in Germany and Europe. It is an individual award though – and I don’t see how anybody can win it apart from Messi. FHM: You started wearing a t-shirt which read “Why Always Me”, what was all that about? Balotelli: When I asked the kit man at Manchester City to print it for me – I had no idea how big it would become. It had more than one meaning – but really it meant why are you always talking about me. In the media there was a lot of stuff 52

December 2013

Balotelli is a regular A-lister party goer and his entourage includes the socialite princess Paris Hilton

written and a lot of it was not true. I was asking them “why always me?” FHM: Who do you think is the world’s best player Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo...or Mario Balotelli? Balotelli: I do have confidence in my ability and believe I will be the best player in the world – but I have to admit at the moment that Messi is on another level to any player out there. You have to respect all that he has achieved and all that he has done in the game. FHM: Have you played/Visited India? Balotelli: I have never visited India – but I would like to. It looks like a fhmindia • fhmindia

Balotelli manages to rear-end a stationary car and wreck his custom made Audi R8 at Brescia, Italy

very interesting country – and I think it is important for as people to visit other parts of the world and experience new things. It helps us grow as people to open our minds. FHM: What are your impressions of India from what you read and see? Balotelli: I know that football is growing in India and Asia in general. Of course in India cricket is the number one sport for them – and we have to respect that is their national game. It is exciting to see the game develop though. Hopefully as more youngsters start playing football in India – we might be able to see Indian people come and play professionally fhmindia.com

33 THE BIG FEATURE

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT F1 IN 2014

IT’S COLD OUTSIDE BUT IT’S HOT IN HERE WITH...

g n i h t y r Eve ever you’ll d! nee

LONELY? GET A DOG, WE TELL YOU HOW BRUCE DICKINSON’S WAYS TO BEAT RECESSION (WITH METAL) PLUS! BALOTELLI ON TAKING PUNCHES BATTLE OF THE RED PEPPER SAUCES WHY DUBAI COPS DESERVE A BRABUS, THULLAS DON’T

CHITRANGDA

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The Rule breaker

chitrangda singh

is not A kitchen GODDESS, SHE’S NOT BEEN DELIVERING BACK TO BACK HITS, SHE IS MARRIED WITH A KID...BUT FOR SOME GOD STRANGE REASON SHE IS STILL ONE OF FHM’S MOST LUSTED-AFTER COVER GIRLS.

AND honey singh’s latest muse Words by Kabeer Sharma Photography by munna s Styling by Aastha sharma from the wardrobist Hair and Make Up mehak oberoi

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December 2013

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c h i t r a n g d a S INGH

Words by Kabeer Sharma Photography by Nino Munoz Styling by Amy Beth Berlin Hair Andy Lecompte Make Up Kathy Jeung

he last time Mrs Singh made it to the FHM cover, a cinema hack had been penning newsprint equivalent of letters written in blood taking her career choices as personal setbacks. This time, Honey Singh is penning Punjabi-rap/pop songs serenading her eyes – he’s changed their colour to blue to avoid being too accurate (arguably). “I’d like to see it as a compliment, I mean he makes good music, but why is it called Blue Eyes, I don’t have blue eyes,” she laughs. “I actually went and heard the whole song and the woman he is describing is nothing like me.” She should take it as a compliment that the song has managed to net 8.1 million hits on YouTube in the last two weeks. So what about Mrs Singh drives men borderline insane – despite her marriage of 12 years and a kid of five years? It’s definitely not the Mrs Robinson syndrome because she is nowhere even close to being there. Except maybe the saucy, tanned to perfection bit. Mrs Singh is now in the best shape of her life and far from averse to showing it off. For a country that’s fancied married women but never publically admitted it, Chitrangda has been a blatant, in-your-face exception. Plus, she has a strange knack of being current – the latest following the molestation charges against Tarun Tejpal, which her movie Inqaar has become the go-to cinematic reference for. The country, or at least the hacks have been constantly questioning her about whether she is still married, almost like they are sort of disappointed. She has reciprocated by imagining smacking them in the nose and at other times looking at her own self in third person while answering marital status related questions. “Don’t worry I am not thinking about smacking you…” And that’s the thing about Chitrangda – she is fun and sexy but there is something slightly intimidating about her. At a lot of levels, she is exactly like the role she played in Desi Boyz – a hottie professor. Only she’s not playing a role, she’s living it everyday. In the last year, she’s had just two movies out – I, Me aur Main and Inkaar, both were average to below average performers at the box office. Had it been anyone else, the audiences would have written them off, but she’s enjoyed a rather long rope. Her next movie with another man she is obsessively asked about (Sudhir Mishra) is Mehrunissa and it has gotten delayed, due to which she’s suddenly hopping between towns telling people in one town to get fit for Puma, launching a tablet in the next and going to another to launch lady razors for Gillette. But something somewhere has changed, Chitrangda is suddenly, to put it 56

December 2013

mildly, a little more mainstream than she was before. But when it comes to things like this shoot, we don’t really mind. “I’m not sexually as bold as the pictures… I’d never be seen in clothes like the ones I wore for the FHM shoot,” she laughs. True, she’s more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of a gal, plus she’d probably also not let people picture her in the loo either, but that’s beside the point. She’s not addicted to selfies either, which means unlike her compatriots she doesn’t use the loo for the real purposes it was intended for. She likes shoots though, she tells us, because they let her be “things she’s not”. And what’s the kind of a girl she is? “Actually shouldn’t you be telling me what sort of a girl I am? It’s our second cover, you should have learnt something by now,” she purses her lips and fake admonishes. “I think I’m a little traditional, conservative, inhibited… I have to talk myself into doing sexy pictures or scenes in movies,” she explains, and somewhere in there she also confesses to finding “women who are bold, but in an inhibited, not in the face kind of a way” “very attractive.” It’s of course another matter that her chosen field understands sexual subtlety as much as Sunny Leone. And it’s not like she hasn’t dabbled her toes in it, she tried it with an item song in Joker and then in Desi Boyz, but she seems done with it, at least for now. “I’d have to think really really hard to do an item song again,” she confesses. Her brand of sexuality is closer to Inqaar than Desi Boyz. This of course is a matter of national shame, considering between her washboard stomach, her shaped derriere and the cascading tresses, she is in the best shape of her life right now. “I have grown up being obsessed with Shaolin movies, so when I was told of a trainer who’d been to the Shaolin temple, I jumped.” She continues to be obsessed with Kickboxing and Muay Thai, practicing them at least twice a week. It’s tough of course, between constantly hopping from Mumbai to Delhi, but she is managing, even though she confesses sometimes it gets “disorienting”. “Don’t worry, I deal with being disoriented quite well.” We ask her if she wants to take a break, go to a beach, grab a cocktail and settle for as much sexual subtlety as a bikini provides and she laughs. “Actually with Mehrunissa being delayed, it already feels like a vacation…I just want to get back to work.” Even New Years Eve is going to be spent at home catching up with family. Plus of course, Indians stare too much at women in bikinis right? “Maybe because they haven’t seen too many girls in bikinis, it’s almost like how people in villages react to seeing women in jeans…” Her favourite beach holiday was in Bali last year, when she went scuba diving,

fhmindia • fhmindia

c h i t r a n g d a S INGH

Bodysuit: Amit Aggarwal Shoes: Hermes

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c h i t r a n g d a S INGH

scan this page to see Honey singh’s blue eyes, inspired by chitrangda

Crop Top: Namrata Joshipura; Sequin high waisted shorts: Emilio Pucci; Ring: Manish Arora for Amrapali Jewels; Shoes: Christian Dior; Boots: Emilio Pucci

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December 2013

59

cycled, walked, drank some good wine at a new shack every night and just vegetated in a bikini. “It was almost out of Eat, Pray, Love,” she confesses. Minus the picking up a younger lover bit, of course. In case you read that and said – aha, you’ve finally figured out a way in with her by showing-off your intricate knowledge of chick-lit in varying degrees of being transformed into cinema – you’d be wrong. “I couldn’t even get halfway through 50 Shades of Gray,” she says culling any and all BDSM related conversation. It’s not like you’d go through with it with her anyways, but yeah nothing bad ever came out of pretending. She’s a Dan Brown fan though, she says offering up an olive branch – “I’ve got Inferno on my bedside and just not started it yet…it’s a really fat one. I like books that are part fact and part fiction.” Somehow the conversation drifts to crazy fans, she doesn’t have too many, it’s just the usual blocking cellphone numbers by the 100s on

Whatsapp and boys constantly hanging outside her apartment in Mumbai. No letters in blood though, not yet anyway. By then she’s moved on, she’s talking, or rather complaining about not having found the time to download any TV shows. She has a long list – “Why don’t you do it?” We promise we will, as long as she lets us add our recommendations to the mix – which of course means Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Suits and the Holy Grail – Californication. As remuneration, she offers a salad. “I can do dips, salads, maybe a grilled fish?” she offers. “You’d laugh if I told you what all I can cook.” She’s right, we do laugh. But we don’t really mind. There’s something about Chitrangda that makes her sex appeal a constant beer time conversation, independent of her lack of cooking prowess, her cinematic choices, her marital status or even her item songs. And for some strange inexplicable reason, we really do love her.

“i am not sexually

as bold as the pictures... i’d never be seen in clothes like the ones

i wore for the fhm shoot.”

c h i t r a n g d a S INGH

Orchid print dress : Saloni; Shoes: Christian Dior; Necklace wrapped around the hand: Valliyan by Nitya Arora

F1 Racin THE

too tall, too fat

Weighty issues With the increase in weight of the F1 car in 2014, the drivers have to weigh between 60kg to 65kg. Is this the end of the road for tall racers like Button and Hulkenberg?

for f1 Exclusive expose on page 67

ng Times Paddock access to kimi and Mercedes’ Rosberg

Kimi Raikkonen proves why he is called “The Iceman”. While Nico Rosberg rues about missing Kings of Leon.

Changing t The 2014 season will see a radical change in regulations, for a change most of the teams are doing celebratory cart wheels. Just Red Bull isn’t. Find out why. Words: Arup Das

“The low nose that we have next year is… I think there could be some fairly awkward-looking aesthetics arriving.” ...Red Bull chief technical officer Adrian Newey

speed junkies

times

01 Radical change in car design? While the jury is still out on how the Apart from the “fairly awkardlooking” front nose in the 2014 cars, expect most of the changes hidden under the monocoque body

cars might look next and whether there will be any significant change in terms of appearance, a nose job is definitely on the cards as the new rules state that the nose on the car can now be no higher than 20cm (previously 5.5cm). So will this make them look uglier? At a press conference at the Circuit of the Americas, Red Bull chief technical officer Adrian Newey said, “The low nose that we have next year is… I think there could be some fairly awkward-looking aesthetics arriving.” But Ferrari’s technical director James Allison made a valid point, “I think as a technical team we really have a duty to try and make the thing quick rather than make it beautiful.” Also teams have to do away with exhaust pipes, as it will be mandatory for them to have a single tailpipe, which has to be angled upwards so that they don’t gain any aerodynamic advantage.

02 change of guard

Daniel ricciardo

Current: Toro Rosso new team: Red Bull Replaces: Mark Webber

felipe massa

Current: ferrari new team: williamsl Replaces: pastor M

kimi raikkonen

Current: Lotus new team: Ferrari Replaces: Felipe massa

Daniil Kvyat

Current: GP3 series new team: Toro Rosso Replaces: daniel ricciardo 66

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New 100kg fuel cap rule fhmindia • fhmindia

Fuel efficiency has entered the F1 world, as 2014 will introduce a cap of 100kg of fuel in a race. There has never been a limit before and it’s understood that around 160kg of fuel is used per race. Ferrari’s head of engines Luca Marmorini shot down the new rule and said, “Ferrari feels this could be a danger. We would like Formula One to consider efficiency, but we don’t like F1 to be a sport where you are cruising for 50% of the laps.” Renault F1’s technical director Naoki Tokunaga has downplayed this theory and said it is all about more diverse strategies. He added there will not be more fuel run outs than there are today. fhmindia.com

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speed junkies

thinner, shorter drivers The significant change is the new 1.6-litre V6 engine, which will replace the 2.4-litre V8 engine. As the V6 has a bigger turbocharger assembly that makes this new unit heavier and as a result adds more weight to the car body, the current 642kg will go up to 690kg. To compensate, the drivers’ ideal weight has to be in the region of 60kg to 65 kg. This is a major problem for tall drivers like McLaren’s Jenson Button and Sauber’s Nico Hulkenberg. Martin Whitmarsh, the McLaren team principal, has called upon Formula One to ditch its self-serving interest when it comes to the debate over driver weight

for next season. The suggestion is that taller and heavier drivers could be putting their health on the line to meet these new regulations. “The situation we’ve got is not good as there’s been an increase in the weight limit, but it isn’t enough,” said Whitmarsh. “It’s a disadvantage to some drivers and teams in terms of having to have the resources to design it down to the new weight, but it costs more money,” he added. This sport has always forced the drivers to push their limits as veteran driver David Coulthard revealed in his autobiography in 2007 that he suffered from bulimia in an effort to control his weight.

05 ERS TO REPLACE KERS The idea of using a small powered engine has been panned, but F1 will live up to its reputation thanks to the Energy Recovery System, which captures waste heat dispelled from the exhaust turbocharger, using an electrical device known as a Heat Motor Generator Unit. The waste heat is stored as an electrical charge until it is utilised by Kinetic Motor Generator Unit. This device is connected to the drive train to deliver the additional power in the most efficient way. It will generate 160bhp for 33 secs per lap. fhmindia.com

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F1 2013

raikkonen

speed junkies In the politically correct Formula One world with back room politics and bitching, Kimi Raikkonen stands out as an odd ball. While drivers are busy smooching their new 2014 teams’ tail pipes and proclaiming it to be a dream come true moment, the Iceman simply explains why he will join Ferrari next year, “I am leaving Lotus because of money troubles. They haven’t paid my salary.” The Finn is known for his gifted talent and his “I don’t give a damn” attitude. FHM digs out his tough to get but famous quotes. On whether he has ever got angry and jumped up and down and shouted: Kimi Raikkonen: Yeah, many times. Of course, you’re not happy if you retire or something, but I guess it happens more in normal life than in racing. FHM: On the kinds of things that get him angry: Kimi Raikkonen: If you keep asking me questions like these, you’ll see for yourself. On the most exciting moment during a race weekend: Kimi Raikkonen: I think it’s the race start, always. On the most boring moment: Kimi Raikkonen: Right now, indulging in plenty of plain talk. On what he does the night before the race: Kimi Raikkonen: I sleep! On his helmet rituals

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Kimi Raikkonen: It protects my head. On what’s on his iPod: Kimi Raikkonen: Mostly Finnish music, all sorts. You wouldn’t know it, so it doesn’t matter what I say. FHM: On his hobbies? Kimi Raikkonen: I collect walnuts. FHM: On missing the presentation by Pele... Kimi Raikkonen: Yes. I was having a shit. FHM: On what’s the 5th grid place like? Kimi Raikkonen: It’s the 5th grid place. On how does it feel to drive at 300 kmph? Kimi Raikkonen: It feels normal. On what does one have to do to become one of his friends? Kimi Raikkonen: I’ve got my friends and that’s enough. I’m not on the lookout for new ones. December 2013

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NICO ROSBERG The Mercedes GP driver rose to the ranks of Formula One in 2006, won his first race in China in 2012 and finished second in 2013 Indian GP. FHM met the German behind the wheel to talk aerodynamics, music and nuts! Words: Anoushka Christy

FHM: What did it feel like the first time you sat in a F1 car? Nico Rosberg: At the time, I was driving a car that had 160 horsepower, like a Formula Ford car, so to go from that to an F1 car that had 920 horsepower was crazy! It was so fast, like going into a rocket. It was unbelievable and the problem was that it was so fast and I was so small and young that I didn’t physically have the strength to drive the car as fast as I could because the G-force was throwing me into the corner of the seat and I couldn’t see where I was going. FHM: When you go from an F1 car to a road car, does it feel like you’re travelling in slow motion? Nico Rosberg: It doesn’t feel strange or anything because it’s so different. I have a lot of respect for the F1 machines. FHM: What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done in a car? Nico Rosberg: I like to play with the car in the countryside. On a lake in Lapland last winter, we built a track on a lake and did some rallying there ­­­– it was fun and I competed against my dad. There’s a video of it on YouTube actually.

FHM: Who would win in a race between you and your Dad at his peak? Nico Rosberg: I don’t want to compare. All I’ll say is that it would be a good battle between us. I wouldn’t like to say who would win... FHM: How did your mother feel about you taking up motor racing? Nico Rosberg: She gets scared when I’m in the car, so she’s never seen a race of mine. I think it’s worse if it’s your son racing rather than your husband. My dad never comes either. I think it’s a good thing and a wise decision for him fhmindia.com

to stay away and let me do my thing. It’s cool. FHM: When you’re going around your home-town, do you get recognised? Nico Rosberg: Well, I live in Monaco, so I do get recognised but it’s very relaxed and very nice. I like it there. FHM: When you visit other places and get recognised, how do you handle the attention? Nico Rosberg: Sometimes it’s nice and I’m happy to give things back to people if they’re excited about the sport, but in general, if I had a choice, I’d prefer to not be recognised. It can be more annoying than good, unfortunately. Though at this point, for me, it’s not a lot. It’s much tougher for someone like my old teammate Michael Schumacher. FHM: What was it like having Schumacher as a teammate? Nico Rosberg: It was a very interesting experience. It’s obvious why he’s won seven World titles and done a very good job. It was also very challenging to try and beat him. The bar was very high, but I’m happy that I still managed to be competitive with him. FHM: Is it true that you were go-karting with Schumacher

when you were 15? Nico Rosberg: Yes, it was the World Championship! I came 3rd and Schumacher came 2nd. If we raced go-karts now, I don’t know who would win. I’d hope me! I was top of my game at 15 though, so it’s not like I’d be better now. FHM: Do you have people in the paddock you would call friends? Nico Rosberg: I don’t have friends in the paddock. I get on well with people but I don’t call them friends. A lot of my friends are from school and I was very lucky to have a very cool group of friends back then, so we’re still all

“My mother gets scared when I’m in the car, so she’s never seen a race of mine.”

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“Alonso can crack nuts with his neck and he is also a magician.” in touch 10 years on and they still come to my races. FHM: Do you like motorcycles? Nico Rosberg: I like them, but I don’t go on motorbikes because I don’t like taking the risk. I think they’re very dangerous for me, as I know that if I go on a motorcycle I would want to go fast, so I stay away. But what I do like a lot is Motorcross in the mountains – it’s more about endurance and that’s fun. I don’t do it for the exercise, just for fun. FHM: You were offered a place at London’s Imperial College to study aerodynamics, but you chose racing. Why? Nico Rosberg: Because this is a lot more fun, more cool and way more exciting. Aerodynamics is the most important part of building an F1 car though. The guy doing aerodynamics is the one deciding how fast the car is 72

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really gonna go. And you can build a rocket ship, or an aeroplane, or whatever. FHM: What’s your favourite track? Nico Rosberg: My favourite track is probably Malaysia. It has a nice flow and a variety of corners. FHM: Is it the toughest circuit too? Nico Rosberg: Yes, because of the climate. Physically, the toughest circuit is Singapore. The hardest to drive is probably Monaco, it’s very challenging. FHM: What’s your favourite country to race in? Nico Rosberg: Italy, because I really like the way the people are. It’s the people I get on with best – a lot of my friends are Italian and I speak Italian. FHM: Before a race, do you ever use music to get fired up? Nico Rosberg: I used to, but now fhmindia • fhmindia

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not so much. Before a race it would be something like U2’s Beautiful Day – that’s a cool track to get the right feeling. FHM: Who was the last band you saw live? Nico Rosberg: That was a long time ago. I had the opportunity to attend Kings Of Leon concert in Abu Dhabi during the grand prix weekend. I was just too lazy to go. But we ended up listening to them in the hotel room. FHM: Do you use social media? Nico Rosberg: Of course I do like Facebook and Twitter. My Twitter account is just me, I was trying to figure out the best way of saying ‘I’m a Mercedes GP driver’ without actually putting ‘I am the Mercedes GP driver’, so I said it was ‘linked to’, but it’s not actually linked in any way, it’s just me. FHM: In a race, you have to remember around 20 corners very well. How’s your memory with day to day stuff? Can you memorise a shopping list? Nico Rosberg: It’s not great. It is good, but it’s something that’s important to have for racing because when you drive and you come back to the pits you need to tell the engineers everything you experienced out there whilst you’re absolutely concentrating on driving well. You need a good memory to take in everything that’s happening and that’s a very challenging part. When you come in, you have to

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know everything and remember everything. FHM: So when you go back to everyday life, do you just relax your brain as well? Nico Rosberg: No. In fact, I even train it sometimes. I play Memory whilst training. FHM: What was the last movie you saw? Nico Rosberg: The Fighter. I like Christian Bale. He’s amazing, though I didn’t like the particular movie. All my friends said it would be amazing but I didn’t think it was that great. It’s okay, but I like Christian Bale in Batman. In my opinion, his performance was outstanding. FHM: What about your favourite beer? Nico Rosberg: Alcohol free beer! It’s the best drink after sports as it has all the minerals to rehydrate your body. I do drink sometimes when I go out though FHM: What are the usual suspects in your fridge? Nico Rosberg: Yoghurt, eggs, lots of veggies, lots of fruit, very healthy. I do order takeaway, sometimes. Not too often. For breakfast, I have either fruit and cereals, or eggs on toast. FHM: Do you have a party trick? Nico Rosberg: No. Fernando Alonso (Ferrari driver) can apparently crack nuts with his neck. He’s a magician too, so you need to be very careful around the Spaniard.

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(ER, YEP, IT’S BRUCE DICKINSON FROM IRON MAIDEN) Think the economy is tanking? FHM and one heavy metal god beg to differ… Joe Mackertich

Will Bremridge

Almost one year ago, Britain manufactured its last ever typewriter. The machine, a Brother CM-1000, came off the production line in November, was given to a museum for safe-keeping and that was that. For many, the sound of the Wrexham factory’s metal gates clanging shut for the final time was also the sound of the last nail being driven into the coffin of British industry. It was official, the experts announced: Britain was no longer a country that built things. It’s now 11 months later and a lot of those same experts are going quiet. New studies have shown that while the economy is still a long way from rallying (unemployment hovers at around 7.8%), there are reasons to be cheerful. Chief among these reasons? We’re making stuff again. You read that right. Britain still makes stuff. And it’s good stuff, too. The sort of stuff everyone from newly minted young families in the suburbs of Shanghai to elite European militaries want to own. In September, global financial boffins were stunned to discover the UK economy had been given a totally unexpected shot in the arm, after the British manufacturing sector expanded sizably for its fifth consecutive month. The short of it: our country’s output is rising at its fastest rate for almost 20 years. FHM decided to pay a visit to a man whose never-say-die spirit and entrepreneurial attitude is helping reignite the touch paper of British industry. Situated by the mouth of the River Severn, surrounded 76

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by 6,000 ft of immaculate runway and housed inside two enormous hangars is

yes, that bruce Cardiff Aviation Limited – the aircraft business set up last year by one Bruce Dickinson. The Bruce Dickinson most famous for fronting legendary heavy metal outfit Iron Maiden for the best part of 30 years. And why not? It seems sort of fitting that in this period of uncertainty and economic turmoil, it should be a guy like Bruce that rushes to Britain’s aid. His on-stage persona is not a million miles away from a denim and leatherclad Michael Palin, a swashbuckling storyteller thrilling the world with exceedingly British tales of high adventure featuring fighter pilots, cowboys and cavalry charges. He also bloody loves planes. The son of an engineer, Bruce became a qualified commercial pilot in 1998. Since then he’s used his proverbial wings to rescue stranded holidaymakers in Egypt and Lebanon, retrieve British RAF pilots from Afghanistan fhmindia • fhmindia

and ferry football teams — including Liverpool — to matches in Europe. That’s right — while most off-duty rockstars are happy to cultivate a paunch and wait for the royalties to roll in, Bruce Dickinson (a man who has played thousands of gigs and sold bajillions of records) went and got himself a day job. We meet the main man on a sunny Welsh afternoon for a tour of his business’s base of operations. He appears remarkably chipper for a 55-year-old who, just 14 hours previously, was screaming his heart out in front of 25,000 people in Zagreb, Croatia. “I don’t know whether there’s a bit of OCD or whatever but when I get stuck into something, I get obsessive,” he says when we ask him about his work rate (apart from singing and flying, Bruce is also an Olympic-level fencer, broadcaster and published novelist). “Every waking hour I’m thinking, ‘OK, I am going to sort this out, I am going to master this.’ It’s wanting to get it.” Cardiff Aviation, launched in May last year, is Bruce’s attempt to “get” fhmindia.com

Bruce dickinson in his aeronautical element. We want him to be our dad

the business world. The goal is for the company to become a bustling one-stop shop for all your aircraft needs. Repairing, building and servicing parts, training pilots and chartering flights — if all goes to plan, its CV is going to look as busy as the man who founded it. He walks us through the hangars, each one big enough to house a couple of Boeing 737s and still have room to spare. Towers of electric-blue scaffolding lend the interiors a distinctly space-age feel. Engines the size of vans are wheeled out as engineers potter about, tinkering with

“When I get stuck into something, i’m obsessive” fhmindia.com

the underside of a freshly painted fuselage. Each time Bruce enters the orbit of a large piece of equipment, his face lights up. He’s not so much a kid in a sweet shop as the kid who owns the sweet shop. And the sweet factory. “Look at these,” he says, running up to a set of heavy-duty machines that look like something Arnold Schwarzenegger might get crushed by at the end of The Terminator. “These things were used to build motorbikes. Can you believe they wanted to get rid of them?” The hangars — all 132,000 square feet of them — are full of aeronautical odds and ends. It’s a ginormous inventor’s workshop, but one that could shortly end up employing around 1,000 people. “When they announced plans to open this place, everyone in Cardiff with an engineering background got excited,” says Jen, who works at the facility. She admits that when she went to the job interview, she’d never even heard of Bruce Dickinson, although her male friends went berserk with envy when they found out. “They want me to get him to sign stuff for them. But that seems like a weird thing to ask my boss to do.” fhmindia • fhmindia

So what does this grizzled veteran of the heavy metal world make of Britain’s re-emergence as a player on the global manufacturing scene? Is the future all blue skies and plain sailing, or do the next generation of businessmen and entrepreneurs have a nasty patch of turbulence coming their way to be a trading nation,” declares Bruce, sitting down in a conference room. “An inventive trading nation. A stunning percentage of the inventions developed in Japan and Korea are of UK

“It’s in our dna origin. We think outside the box because we’re a nation of eccentrics. We don’t see the world in the same way other people do. It’s rooted in our culture, our humour, in Shakespeare.” That’s all well and good, but perhaps if we were less eccentric we’d still be the ones making everything, not just inventing? “We still do make a lot of things,” he argues. “Cars especially. Jaguar Land Rover just invested billions in a new engine plant. Aston Martin and December 2013

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As if running a business, singing in a band and flying planes wasn’t enough, Bruce has also turned his hand to brewing. We’ve tried Trooper Beer (and then we tried it again, just to be sure) and it’s head-bangingly delicious.

Far Right: True heavy metal maniacs will know that Bruce very rarely throws “the horns”. We’re special, obviously

Bentley are hugely successful car manufacturers. Sure, they’re not owned by British people any more. But British craftsmanship is what’s being used. About 80% of F1 teams are based in the UK, and all their engineers are British, too.” The idea of our country not being the steel-bashing “workshop of the world” but, instead, a specialised manufacturer of high-quality goods, is one that is slowly catching on. Julie Deane, founder of the Cambridge Satchel Company, whose leather satchels you might have seen in a recent Google Chrome ad, has said as much in the past. “There is now an awareness of UK-based production that appeals to our customers as a mark of integrity and quality,” she says. According to Richard Holt, economist at Capital Economics, this is even more true when the company isn’t actually British-owned. “Individual brands such as Jaguar do carry weight,” he tells FHM. “These are brands partly sold on Britishness. If customers start to feel that the Britishness is faked, sales could suffer.” At times that the 78

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mild-mannered middle-aged man currently talking to us in very

it’s hard to believe businesslike terms about profit margins is one and the same as the rock colossus who has laid waste to sold-out arenas in places as far-flung as Jakarta and Rio De Janeiro. Yet every now and then, when he gets animated, you catch a glimpse of the other guy. His stance becomes lively and a bit theatrical. The voice takes on a booming, room-filling quality. It all serves as a reminder: unlike his colleagues, when this guy’s finished approving budgeting documents, he doesn't drive home, open a Stella and fall asleep in front of Coronation Street. No, he picks up a microphone and belts out the chorus to Fear Of The Dark in front of tens of thousands of rabid fans. One topic gets him more animated than any other: the idea that Britain’s become so stuck in its ways, the system has forgotten how to support fhmindia • fhmindia

people who could really make a difference. “The civil service in this country is institutionally prejudiced against entrepreneurs,” he sighs. “There’s no sense of urgency. People want to arrange meetings to arrange more meetings. I just want to get stuff done! If we’re going to make it so hard for people to accomplish things, we might as well all move to fucking China.” We ask if Bruce has had to put up with much bureaucratic time-wasting in the last year and he bursts out laughing. “Oh, right, let me think how many pieces of legislation keep being dropped on us every five minutes. Endless forms to fill in.” He stops midflow, suddenly very serious. “We’re lucky. We have money in the bank. But if we didn’t... do you know how difficult it is to get a loan now? It’s tragic when you think about how many people have probably been put off doing something because of the hoops you have to jump through to get banks to lend you money.” On the other side of the runway, a tall chain-link fence topped with barbed fhmindia.com

a dig at Bruce’s solo artist performance Tattoed Millionaire 1980 Bruce started his first solo album project when he was approached to to record a song for A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child. With this album, Dickinson began creating a solo album which was fundamentally different from his works with Iron Maiden. The album peaked at number 14 on the UK charts.

“People are always having meetings. i just want to get stuff done!” wire marks out the perimeter of an SAS support group training facility. The crack of their rifles is drowned by the engines of a Chinook helicopter flying overhead. “We should be telling young people, ‘Go away and think up a crazy idea and don’t let anybody tell you it’s not going to work,’” he says, watching the Chinook wheel around and fly off into the distance. “Banks are meant to be helping normal people achieve their goals and build businesses. And we’ve lost that.” If we want to capitalise on

the truth is, the potential for manufacturing in Britain, we’ll need more individuals like Bruce willing to inject their own time, money and enthusiasm into kickstarting British industry, even when it feels like the system is working against them. Tony Boylan of stillmadeinbritain.co.uk is adamant there is a demand for things manufactured here. “There’s more and more of a demand for the ‘Made in the fhmindia.com

UK’ label, especially when it comes to clothes,” he says. “The big issue is the lack of trained personnel. We need more skilled professionals in this country. But no one’s training anyone.” Holt’s concern is that our government's inability to recognise opportunity may have already cost us dearly. “Look at graphene,” he says. “The new wonder material as thin as clingfilm but tougher than steel. It was developed at the University of Manchester, but will it be exploited here? The Chinese have taken out 2,204 patents on graphene products. In the UK, we’ve taken out 54. It’s worrying.” Meanwhile, Bruce and his team will continue to plug away at making Cardiff Aviation a barn-storming 21st-century success story. “You have to have the balls to go out and make big decisions,” he says. “It’s just down to the type of person you are — whether when you were beaten up in the playground, you turned around to the bully and said, ‘Fuck you — you didn’t hit me hard enough, you cunt.’” fhmindia • fhmindia

Balls to Picasso 1994 Bruce’s second effort on his solo career after he officialy left Iron Maiden. This record marked the beginning of Dickinson’s collaborations with Roy Z, who would work on many of Dickinson’s later albums. The album garnered mild response. Skunkworks 1996 Originally, Bruce intended for Skunkworks to be the debut album of a band by the same name. However, his label did not want to publish the record under any other name than Bruce Dickinson. The album was further moved away from Iron Maiden’s progressive rock prowess to alternative rock sound. Accident of Birth 1997 This album saw Bruce’s collaboration with guitarist/ producer Roy Z again. He was also assisted by another former Iron Maiden member Adrian Smith and the two would later return to the band in early 1999. The Chemical Wedding 1998 The record drew some inspiration from the works of William Blake, featuring sung and spoken excerpts of his prophetic works and poetry. As with the previous album, it featured Iron Maiden guitarist Adrian Smith, then a member of Dickinson’s solo outfit. Tyranny of Souls 2005 The songwriting on the album was split between Roy Z and Dickinson. During composition, Roy sent recordings of riffs to Dickinson, who was on tour with Iron Maiden. Dickinson subsequently wrote lyrics and melodies. Roy also served as the album’s producer and played all guitar parts.

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Mel Clarke, 22, Kent

Marley Kate

Love AT WORK

Your office used to just be somewhere you went to while away the hours nine through five. Then she joined, and now your day is spent staring at the back of her lovely head. FHM is on hand to help ignite your office romance…

Dr Sandra Wheatley With 20 years’ experience as a psychologist, Dr Sandra knows what your mannerisms, clothes and lunchbox say about you. Even if you don’t. fhmindia.com

Tara Daynes Human resources (HR) expert Tara knows so much about the world of employment, she could probably get the Queen fired if she put her mind to it. fhmindia • fhmindia

Daniel Sloss FHM’s funnymanat-large. Really enjoys the company of women. Check danielsloss. com for details of his brilliant stand-up comedy tour in Britain December 2013

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Love AT WORK

True story!

I’M AN OFFICESEX ADDICT

You’re in the kitchen with her It’s time to break some goddamn ice. No prizes for guessing how to do it. “If you can make someone laugh you will have their attention,” says Dr Wheatley. “Humour gives you an opportunity to make eye contact because when we’re laughing, we often look right at people.” But what to say? “Talk about a stupid thing that happened to you that morning,” says Daniel. “Like: ‘I’ll never learn to wash the spoon face down under the tap.’ It invites a response, so she’ll be involved in a conversation with you before she even knows it.” 82

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She keeps mentioning her boyfriend Every time you find yourself in a one-onone situation with your workplace crush, she brings up some bloke she insists on referring to as her “boyfriend”. All hope lost? “Don’t be so sure,” says Dr Wheatley. “She could be playing games. There is a school of thought among some women that says you’ve got to have a man to get a man. When somebody mentions their partner a lot, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not interested in you. It can be a way of demonstrating that they’re not an emotional leper – somebody finds them attractive.” fhmindia • fhmindia

Sophie, 29, Manchester “Rich worked in a different department, but we were always flirting in the pub after work. Starting with a bit of banter over instant messenger, we found ourselves out on a Friday night. There was sambuca involved and by the time we left the pub it was 2am and everyone else had bailed. We stumbled back to the office, hanging out at his desk, playing YouTube clips and eating crisps. “Suddenly he had this smirk on his face. With one hand cradling the side of my neck, the other working its way up my leg, he picked me up and sat me on the desk. I’ve never been much of an exhibitionist, so I was more surprised than anyone to find myself sat on a keyboard with my knickers around my ankles. I remember scrambling around for something to hold on to and grabbing the phone as he bent me over the desk. Then he blew his load on to the carpet. I couldn’t believe it. “After that, it became a bit of a hobby. Even if the shagging is just missionary, it makes me feel a bit wild. It’s the possibility of getting caught, interspersed with dirty work talk. ‘Do you reckon you could keep quiet if I fucked you in here while John sat in his office next door?’ or, ‘I feel sorry for the next person that uses this phone,’ as he rubs the handset between my legs. This happened months ago but we’re still at it. It makes boring days more bearable when you think about all the naughtiness. fhmindia.com

Love AT WORK

You’re desperate to confess your love On the verge of ’fessing up your feelings? Read this next word very carefully: don’t. “Never ever mention to a girl you’re not dating how much you like them,” says Daniel. “The second the words leave your mouth, you realise how creepy you sound. ‘Hey, I know this might be slightly weird, but I just wanted to let you know…’ You just wanted to let her know? Why do we always phrase it like that? We’re setting ourselves up to fail.” You’ve realised you have nothing in common

So you’ve spent some quality time with your crush. And you now have this nagging feeling she might not actually be the girl of your dreams after all. Don’t worry – it’s normal. “Offices are like melting pots,” says Dr Wheatley. “You have a lot of shared experiences when you work with someone, so regardless of everything else in your lives, it feels like you have loads in common. You can easily make the classic error of mistaking proximity for closeness. It’s actually very similar to the sexual relationships that develop between inmates in prison.”

Hr alert!

You’ve been caught in the act “There is risk aplenty here,” warns Tara. “It’s best to be discreet and resist the temptation of the office sex fantasy as the consequences could be far worse than a staple in the bottom. I know one couple who were caught in a compromising position in a store cupboard at work and were both sacked.”

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The others are muscling in It was inevitable, really. The object of your attention has become the focus of all the gym-pumped alpha males in your office. “Guys always compete,” says Dr Wheatley. They don’t love her like you do, though. No one could. “Displays of dominance are no longer about size,” says Daniel. “What women look for these days is comfort, and that comes from laughter. If some dude starts boasting about how big he is, say, ‘Wow, you do look strong. Like someone shaved a bear and gave it ecstasy.’”

True story!

You’re all going for drinks Resist the temptation to fob them all off to hang out exclusively with her. “Your colleagues know you,” says Dr Wheatley. “If you suddenly start acting differently they’ll notice and immediately start ripping the piss out of you. Which is not what you want.” Daniel advises, “Always buy a round of drinks straight away. It shows you’re a nice guy. Then, because everyone’s polite in office situations, chances are everyone will be buying you drinks for the rest of the night. So you’ll seem popular too.”

I SLEPT WITH MY BOSS Rebecca, 28, Bristol

“When I tell people I slept with my boss, their reaction consists of a raised eyebrow and a look that screams, ‘A dirty old man, eh?’ When I say my boss was a woman, the interest levels go off the chart. fhmindia • fhmindia

“Penny and I were working at an advertising agency. Even though she was 10 years older, we had lots in common. “It was quite natural. Our team were out drinking and Penny and I shared a taxi. The

conversation took a horny turn and we ended up snogging. “The sex was great. My blouse ripped – I still grin when I think about that. We agreed it was a one-off. I still think about her, though.” December 2013

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True story!

Love AT WORK

I SLEPT WITH THE INTERN

Miles, 33, London “I’ll never forget the morning I walked into the office and saw Emily. She was sitting behind her desk, smiling sweetly. I was hooked instantly – I wanted her badly. And then I realised she was our new intern. Bugger. “I was given the task of showing her the ropes and it was obvious there was an attraction between us. This was confirmed after drinks the next week, when she flirted outrageously with me. All thoughts of professionalism were soon making a hasty retreat and we snogged. “The following week, after numerous suggestive emails, we went to the pub again and were soon all over each other. We went back to the office and ended up shagging on my desk. It was without doubt one of the dirtiest things I’ve ever done. “We ended up going out for a year. People used to laugh when we told them how we got together – I think they thought I’d somehow taken advantage of her. I know differently.”

Sod it… you’re going to make contact

Her hand brushes yours when you reach for the stapler certain – it’s not an open “When she touches your invitation to touch her arm, it might as well be back. “Girls are allowed to Christmas,” says Daniel. touch guys,” says Daniel. So if it’s happened a “Not us – we’re horrible, couple of times, does sex-driven things. Never this mean it’s on? Not grab a girl’s arse unless necessarily. “It might she’s your girlfriend. Just mean nothing – some don’t. And if she hugs people emphasise points you, don’t smell her hair. by touching,” says Dr I know it’s tempting, Wheatley. “Or she might because it smells like be flirting to get her own happiness. But it’s weird.” way.” One thing’s for

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Don’t agonise over what to wear to impress the girl. Style website Individualism’s Nigel Ruwende has some tips that’ll make getting dressed for work less of an ordeal…

“Touch her forearm for emphasis while you’re making a point,” says Dr Wheatley. “The way to do this without being too over the top is to avoid eye contact. That kind of body language is the equivalent of putting something in italics. What you’re looking for is the shoulder melt – their shoulders might come up in surprise at first, but they’ll drop down if they like chatting with you.”

Ill-fitting is unflattering. A lot of websites always have offers on multi-shirt buys. They measure you up too, so they’ll fit like a glove. I always stress that half the battle is in the fit.

Your workwear arsenal should be stocked with pieces you can throw on without thinking. White and blue shirts, a grey cardigan and a navy crew-neck jumper are all really versatile.

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You touchy too muchy

H ale r rt!

“An absolute HR minefield,” says Tara. “Remember that one person’s harmless flirting is someone else’s harassment and, legally, the reaction of the recipient trumps the intention of the flirter. This is an easy line to cross inadvertently, so best avoid it altogether – or stick to brief touches in ‘safe’ areas such as arms. Steer clear of bums and waists.”

Trying too hard will make you conscious of your appearance, which can make you look uncomfortable. Uncomfortable isn’t attractive. Dress simply and well.

Never underestimate the importance of smelling good. Fresh and clean fragrances like Davidoff Cool Water or Shay & Blue Sicilian Limes are great for everyday wear.

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Love AT WORK

You think you’re subtle. You think your glances are discreet. The truth is everyone, including the cleaner, is on to you.

You can’t walk

Walking is a piece of piss. You’ve been doing it for ages. However, when you have to go past her desk, your limbs become a nigh-on impossible challenge. Just what the hell are you meant to do with your arms anyway?

She catches you staring at her

You didn’t mean to look at her in such an intense – some might say psychopathic – way. It’s just your eyes have to rest somewhere, don’t they? And they just happened to rest on her beautiful, flawless face.

You drink 100 cups of tea a day

You’ve started making tea every eight minutes on the off chance she might be in the kitchen. Unfortunately, you’ve ingested so much caffeine, you make as much sense as Ram Gopal Varma.

She’s sent you a pointless message Her name lights up your inbox out of the blue. What do you do? Reply immediately or slave away at a “witty” response for the next three hours? “Keep it simple and light-hearted,” says Dr Wheatley. “Often, when you’re being spontaneous, you reveal more of who you truly are, which is a good thing.” Daniel adds, “Just don’t be the guy who turns everything into sexual innuendo. I’ve been that guy. The first two times it’s cute. The next 50 times it’s creepy.” Hr t! aler

The Man is spying on your emails “If emails are sent using the company’s system, then any messages are the company’s intellectual property and can always be accessed by the IT department,” warns Tara. “If the employer gets wind of any inappropriate messages, it could be classed as abuse of the email system.” What could be worse than that? How about becoming an in-office – or even global – meme? There’s always the risk of someone in IT circulating the messages. Earlier this year, a Scottish couple’s steamy email exchanges (“You were very wet!”) were leaked after they embarked on a work fling. They went into hiding soon after. As would you.

You look a bit glum when she leaves

That feeling in your stomach when, at 6pm, you see her get up, pull on her coat and casually walk out? That’s sadness. It’s sadness and everyone – even her – can see it writ large all over your mug.

You send her videos

YouTube links are the 21st-century equivalent of a mix tape, showing her what a deep person you are. In reality, she stopped clicking on your links after you sent that “hauntingly beautiful” panpipe cover of Seal’s Kiss From A Rose.

Hair and make-up: marco antonio using dermalogica, mac and kérastase. Styling: hayley lawrence. Bra, myla; skirt and shirt, primark; stockings, marks & spencer. All true story names have been changed

HOW SHE KNOWS THAT YOU LIKE HER

THE MAN WHO GREW UP

How do you go “back to normal” when all you’ve ever known is Harry Potter? FHM catches up with Rupert Grint to find out

Photography Neil Bedford Styling William Barnes Words Dan Masoliver Grooming Joe Mills Set Tom Bird

ON SET

“I couldn’t relate To my friends. I felt like an alien”

the fashion

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here are people in this world who are special, who have an air about them – an A-list aura – that marks them out as different from the rest of us. Call it “star power” if you will, but when they walk into a room, with their chiselled features, perfectly coiffed hair and immaculate styling, everyone immediately knows they’re in the presence of greatness. Rupert Grint is not one of these people. Surrounded, as he is today in a central London studio, by an army of setbuilders, stylists, make-up artists, photographers, publicists and several others with unidentifiable but seemingly very important roles, the only person in the room to have had his face printed on a lunch box actually looks like the most, well, normal one here. Yet this 25-year-old’s life couldn’t have been further from normal if he’d been raised by chimpanzees in a jungle. In the year 2000, an 11-year-old boy from Stevenage sat down to watch a Newsround report about an open casting for the film version of his favourite book, Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone. With a handful of school shows under his belt – including a dazzling cameo as a donkey in a nativity play – the young Grint sent an audition tape to the film’s producers, in which he rapped the reasons he should be considered for the part of Harry’s ginger sidekick Ron Weasley. The rest, as you know, is highly lucrative, record-breaking history. In the decade that followed, Grint, and his trademark mop of red hair, would become one of the most recognisable figures on Earth, starring in the eight Harry Potter movies, the highest-grossing film franchise of all time – bigger than Star Wars, bigger than Batman, bigger even than Bond. Something that the bright-eyed 11-year-old from small-town Hertfordshire couldn’t ever have dreamt of. “It was a complete fluke,” says Grint. “I was a huge fan of the books, and I’d always been into drama, but I never really thought of it as a career. I just thought it was a bit of fun.” But landing the role of Ron in the Potter films marked a dramatic fork in the road, one that would, on the one hand, sentence him to a life of fame and fortune and, on the other, deprive him of any semblance of a normal childhood.

Childhood lost

In Year 8, while you were faking the flu to try to get out of PE, Rupert Grint was riding a broomstick and getting shouted at by Alan Rickman. By Year 10, as you tried to hide your boner during a game of spin the bottle, Grint was waving his wand at dementors and shooting the shit with Gary Oldman. It sounds like every kid’s idea of a dream come true, but the reality was that he missed out on so many of the shared experiences that the rest of us take for granted. “My life completely changed,” he recalls. “I went back to school in Year 9 to do some exams, and I hadn’t really been there for two years. I couldn’t relate to any of my friends any more, because I had such a different life. I felt like an alien.” Even the most basic of hair gel-induced alterations that everyone makes in their teens was off-limits to Grint until he was well into his 20s. “I could never change,” he says. “I fhmindia.com

could never have a haircut, or control stupid stuff like that.” That may sound trivial, but there’s a reason that the long-standing stereotype of the child-star-gone-bad endures to this day. Pulled out of school and away from their friends, while being thrust into the limelight and introduced to a life of money, glamour and every imaginable vice, it’s hardly surprising that the Lindsay Lohans and Macaulay Culkins of this world go off the rails. But sitting on a sofa this afternoon, taking a sip from his bottle of Coke, Grint seems to have avoided the pull of sex, drugs and tabloid column inches. “It’s not something that’s swayed me. I have quite a strong fear of death, so that’s always kept me away from it,” says Grint, in the friendly, familiar tone he retains throughout our conversation. “And we were quite contained, in our own little bubble. I mean, we filmed Harry Potter in Watford. It’s not exactly Hollywood.”

PENCIL-CASE FACE

Regardless of where the films were made, they grossed almost $8 billion dollars in box-office takings alone, and countless millions more in DVD sales and merchandising. The series may be called Harry Potter, but alongside co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson, Rupert Grint’s face is plastered on posters, duvet covers and pencil cases. Grint may rarely have got the heroic, scene-stealing lines, but he’s still had to deal with the same all-intrusive fame. Everywhere he goes there’s a ripple of recognition that culminates in his posing for photos with fans. “I’m quite a shy person,” says Grint, “and wherever you go there’s someone taking a picture of you. I’ve been to a couple of music festivals in the past few years, and that’s quite tough, because there’s a huge amount of drunk people, and once one person comes over, it attracts a crowd. Sometimes it’s a bit overpowering.” Grint still remembers the first time he was spotted in public, when he was out with his family in North London’s Brent Cross shopping centre after the first Potter film came out. Since that day, Grint has turned heads everywhere he goes. “You can’t just be yourself – you’re always on show,” he says. “It puts me on edge. I do hide away from it and wear hoods and masks. I wore a mask at V Festival two years ago, and it was invigorating – I felt free. But it was a latex duck mask and it was really hot, so I couldn’t keep it on for long.” Wearing a latex duck mask may sound a little extreme, but this isn’t some cry for attention; talk to Grint, and you get the impression that this is someone who is simply attempting on a daily basis to regain some of the normality that he’s been denied his entire life. This is a man who spent more years pretending to be Ron Weasley than he had spent actually living his life as Rupert Grint. One childhood whim to send an audition tape to a casting director effectively set him on an irreversible path to everlasting fame. “I had some other ideas: I wanted to design hats, or become an ice-cream man,” he says. “After getting the part of Ron, I didn’t have much choice. There’s no turning back after that.” Despite the occasional rough patch, and a self-confessed mid-franchise fatigue, Grint learned to love acting. So when faced with the finale of Potter, and the trauma of having the only constant thing in his life whipped out from under his

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feet at the end of a decade of filming, he was finally faced with a choice: sit and roll around in mountains of bank notes, or try to shake the associations with that ginger wizard and make it as a serious actor. The only catch: now, instead of starring in a film with a guaranteed global audience of millions, he’d have to start every project from scratch. More than a little daunting, surely? “Harry Potter is a very unique thing and I’m probably never going to replicate or experience that again,” acknowledges Grint. “In a way it’s quite nice, because there’s not the same kind of pressure – you don’t expect it to do as well, so it’s quite a free experience.”

Life After Potter

The upcoming project that Grint hopes will go some way towards expanding his thespian horizons is a new West End run of the gangster-plotted black comedy Mojo. It will be Grint’s first appearance on stage since playing the lead role in Rumpelstiltskin, aged 10. “I think I need to do it,” he admits. “It’s real acting, and there’s something quite thrilling about only having one shot, not loads of takes. That excites me.” His upcoming cinema role in CBGB – in which he plays a foul-mouthed anarchist rocker with a penchant for flashing his pasty arse – is no less of a departure from the sorting hats and golden snitches of Hogwarts. Like Radcliffe and Watson, he’s carving out a place for himself in the grown-up world of proper acting. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Dropping the invisible cloak of the Harry Potter franchise is harder than performing an expelliarmus spell with your hands tied behind your back. Robert De Niro left his prints on Los Angeles’ Hollywood Walk of Fame in February this year; that’s a full six years after Grint, Watson and Radcliffe left their palm, feet and wand prints in the same famous concrete. No pressure or anything, but where do you go from there? Grint went back to his parents’ place in Hertfordshire – or the massive mansion he’d bought for them anyway. In his spare time, he makes artwork and designs T-shirts. But whereas some famous types would exploit their “brands” to sell sub-par wares to fans who’d buy their used tissues if it came from a reputable source, Grint, under a false name, submits his designs to legendary tee website threadless. com. “It’s really hard to get something on there, and it would be the ultimate achievement to get one made,” he admits. He probably wouldn’t turn his nose up at an Oscar, but the fact he’s so keen to have his creative endeavours recognised for their merit alone, and not because of who made them, tells you everything you need to know about the most down-to-earth man in film. Though as hard as interviewers, critics and fans may try, we’ll never truly be able to understand Rupert Grint. There are only two people who can really know what it’s like to walk in his world-famous OPPOSITE shoes: the young actors he spent Jacket, £319, paulsmith. all day every day with on set for a whole co.uk; jumper, £165, APC at Liberty.co.uk; jeans, decade. “Someone once said the three of us were like astronauts,” says £85, Pepejeans.com; shoes, £145, Loake.co.uk Grint. “We’ll always have that 90

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connection, and that’s important.” One of the major things Grint, Radcliffe and Watson have in common is cash, and plenty of it. Growing up as one of five siblings, Grint didn’t come from money, yet for as long as he can remember, thanks to a certain boy wizard, he’s had more of it than he knows what to do with. “I’ve got a weird relationship with money; it embarrasses me a little bit,” he says. “I’ve never really known what to do with it. I don’t even know how much there is.” Well, considering that by 2010 he’d made it on to the Sunday Times Rich List of young millionaires, with an estimated fortune of £20 million, it’s safe to say the man’s totally minted. You might expect Grint to be living the high life, wearing designer labels and travelling by helicopter. In fact, he arrived at today’s shoot in black jeans and a baggy white T-shirt, and was driven here by Jim, the same man who has been driving him around since the very first Harry Potter film. “I find it all a bit uncomfortable, the whole money thing, so wasting it on private jets and stuff like that seems a bit weird,” he says. “It’s not really me.”

UNIMAGINABLE RICHES

That’s not to say he’s keeping all his cash in some gigantic Harry Potter-headed piggy bank. He’s just spent it on slightly more, let’s say, unusual things. When he passed his driving test, he bought an ice-cream van – complete with Mr Whippy machine and jolly jingle. To get to V Festival a few years back, he bought a second-hand VW Camper Van. Other purchases have included an indoor ice-rink at his family home, and a fully functional hovercraft. And his latest project? “I’m trying to put a slide on the side of my flat – it’s got a roof garden and the slide will go down to the floor below,” he says. “But it’s not up yet. I’ve had some complaints.” And in perhaps the least glamorous spending spree in Hollywood history, he recently went through a particularly unusual eBay phase, buying Royal Mail memorabilia – from fleeces and postbags to miniature souvenir letterboxes. It doesn’t take a psychoanalyst to spot the pattern in these purchases. Grint seems to spend a lot of money on items that could hardly be more symbolic of the childhood he never had. But he isn’t buying this stuff out of some weird fixation; he’s just buying it because it’s fun, and because he can. Most surprisingly for someone who never got to be a kid like the rest of us, make mistakes and learn the hard way, spike his hair and skip school and smoke a cigarette behind the bike sheds, Grint is a totally regular chap. Someone you could enjoy a round of golf with (though he’d probably beat you), and chat to over a pint (though you’d be constantly interrupted by camera-wielding fans). He may be unimaginably famous, a hell of a lot wealthier than you, and own some pretty weird shit, but Rupert Grint is about as nice and normal a young man as you’re likely to meet. He may not have the aura of a Hollywood star, but that seems to suit him just fine. This is a man who didn’t go out looking for fame, but had it thrust upon him as a young lad; a man who now continues to act because he relishes the challenge, and because he’s actually pretty darn good at it. And he does it all with a smile on his face, and an easy, laidback spirit. In his own words, “I came into this on a bit of a fluke. I’m just enjoying the ride.”

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credit: name name

“WE FILMED HARRY POTTER IN WATFORD. IT’S NOT EXACTLY HOLLYWOOD.”

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Shirt, £100; tie, £40, both Hentschman.com Opposite Jacket, £450, bape.com; jeans, £120, edwin-europe. com; shoes, £75, Saucony at mrporter.com

“I’m trying to put a slide on the side of my flat. I’ve had some complaints”

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THE E N D L ESS Q U EST F O R I M P R O V EME N T

99 Is the s m a r t w at c h r e a l ly t h at smart?

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Man’s best friend chronicles

114 F h m ’ s u lt i m at e Ta b a s c o s h o oto u t

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D - I - Y C h r i s t m a s di s h e s

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The definitive g u i d e to m a n b o ots

December 2013

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to Learnk coo

THE REAL EASY

Christmas Goodies The starter Coz Turkey is as Christmasy as the fat man and presents

the dox unorathrtoer st

Pan seared Kamchatka Crab Cake THE RECIPE Cooking time 15 minutes Ingredients • 300g crab meat from claws, finely diced. • 5 number kafir lime leaves, finely shreddedd • Salt to taste • Pepper to taste • 2 portions egg yolk • 1 tbsp cornstarch • 2 tbsp olive oil

Step: 01

Mix all the ingredients together.

Step: 02

Potion into small balls of 30 to 35 grams each.

Step: 03

Shape it into a cake with nice and smooth edges.

01

03

Step: 04

Heat a nonstick pan on medium heat and pour olive oil in it.

Step: 05

02

Shallow fry the cakes in the oil for 5 minutes, flipping just once in between.

Step: 06

Take out once cooked and remove extra oil by dabbing it with a kitchen towel. 96

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UPGRADE food

The Main course The best way to eat turkey!

American Butterball Turkey Breast

the me at

THE RECIPE Cooking time 30 minutes Ingredients • 4 pieces turkey breast (skinless and boneless)* • 12 strips oak smoked bacon • 3 tbsp virgin olive oil • 3 tbps lemon juice • 24 finely chopped sage leaves • 100 gms chestnut • 100 gms apricot • Salt and peppercorn to taste

Step: 01

Make a marinade using olive oil, lemon juice and sage leaves. Slit the the breast down the middle and stuff it with chestnuts and apricot.

Step: 02

Marinate for 45 minutes at room temperature while turning the turkey occasionally.

Step: 03

01

02

Pre heat the grill and apply a thin coat of oil on it.

Step: 04

Remove the breast from the marinade.

Step: 05 *Turkey is available at Godrej’s Nature Basket outlets

Place the breast on the grill to give it the grill marks.

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Step: 06

04

Wrap the turkey with bacon strips and place it in a pre-heated oven at 180*C.

Step: 07

Remove the turkey after heating it in the oven for 20 minutes. Serve it with finely diced onions cooked in cranberry sauce. fhmindia.com

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Ritesh Negi, Executive Chef at The lodhi, New Delhi December 2013

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UPGRADE food

The Dessert Make it a very plum Christmas!

the druntk desser

Plum Pudding THE RECIPE Cooking time 30 minutes Ingredients • 365 gms unsalted butter • 375 gms brown sugar • 6 eggs • 375 gms finely chopped apple • 100 gms cornflour • 8 gms baking powder • 200 gms fresh cream • 1800 gms alcohol soaked fruit • 25 ml dark rum • 25 ml brandy • 75 gms dark caramel

Step: 01

Whisk unsalted butter and brown sugar together till the sugar dissolves in the butter.

Step: 02

Add remaining dry items in the butter and sugar mixture.

Step: 03

Add caramel, brandy and dark rum to the mixture and portion out in individual baking moulds.

01

02

Step: 04

Take a deep baking tray and add suffucient water to make a water bath.

Step: 05

Place the moulds carefully in the water bath and bake at 190*C for 90 minutes.

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Words and pictures: Nishant Nayyar

Step: 06

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Insert a toothpick at the centre of the pudding, if it comes out clean, you have done a good job with the baking.

Step: 07

Rest the pudding for 15 minutes before taking it out from the moulds and serving. December 2013

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U P G R A D E gadge t s

ready for Smartwatch? Smartwatch is the latest gadget to grab the tech geek’s attention, but is it worth being traded in for your swanky Breitling? We find out…

S

martwatches could do a lot more than just popping notifications, but manufacturers have not been able to cite a compelling case for why people need them. When you think about it, the smartwatch could become an inseparable part of your personality, just like your handheld device, but does it really serve the purpose? Yes, it mildly does. We say mildly because the two devices — your smartwatch and your phone are interconnected via a Bluetooth, which might act up at times. Functionality Unlike other BT enabled products, this one takes a dig on your efforts and time, as you need to install a Smart Connect App on your Android phone. This Smart Connect App manages what gets sent to the watch, be it messages or call notifications. So in a nutshell,

your smartwatch’s functionality is totally dependent and routed via this app. For example, you can get messages on your watch by installing the Sony’s Messaging app. The sad part is that you only get to read the messages and reply back with pre-installed messages or emoticons. There are nearly 250 other apps you can add, but they don’t seem enticing enough. The watch can act as a remote control for your phone, but calls can be made only through the phone. For the watch to be useful, you need a BT wireless headset linked to the phone. When calls come in, you can reject the call with or without a canned text reply. If you have a Sony phone, you can answer calls from the watch as well. With any phone running on at least Android 4.0, you can initiate calls from the watch using its dial-pad or your Android contacts list. But again, the calls go through your phone. You can control the volume, but it

took us a while to figure out how. As for social networks, well, they will depend on how much “noise” you can handle. Twitter and Facebook both have apps that can be a little bit spammy. On the plus side, Twitter’s short-worded nature means that you’ll usually get the whole message on screen. Both apps let you manage whose updates will trigger notifications, making them reasonably easy to tailor to your needs. It’s worth pointing out though, that you can’t click web links in either of these apps, since there’s not actually a web browser on board. Do you need it? Though, the smartwatch seems a bit of a mismatch between technology and utility, those who want to go for one can definitely vouch for the Sony SmartWatch 2. But we are still not convinced if a smartwatch would be able to replace a Breitling, even in the near future.

Sony’s s n watch ruhan 2 t for moreon a days arge single ch

against samsung gear

The Samsung Gear wins on looks and features, but you need to shell out another 6 grand on that. With a bigger screen and metal outlook, the Samsung Gear is definitely worth flaunting against the Sony SmartWatch 2. In terms of features, Sony’s watch doesn’t have a speaker or a microphone. It doesn’t have a camera. The Gear has all that, which means you can make phone calls through the watch itself, without a Bluetooth headset. Where the SmartWatch 2 outperforms the Gear is in delivering messages and on battery backup, where it outperforms the Samsung Gear by close to 2 days of extra usage, while the Gear usually dies out in a day.

Dimensions: 36 mm X 36 mm Weight: 26 grams

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Words: Nishant Nayyar

specs

Price ` 7,990

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U P G R A D E gadge t s

we grilled these gadgets

Another month goes by while playing with a handful of gadgets. While some passed our test, others miserably failed!

Amkette Trubeats Metal

If you vy ea love h hen t s s ba tal ats me trubethe BT is er for speak u yo

One of the most essential gadget an urban lad should carry is a portable Bluetooth speaker. Now, speaking of portable, the first word that comes to your mind is – lightweight. But, this product is a complete anamoly. Trubeats Metal, as the name suggests, is built with a metal alloy drum to produce the loudest sound from possibly the smallest space. It measures 57 x 62 mm in dimensions and weighs just 315g. Designed to deliver a power packed heavy bass sound, the Bluetooth enabled portable device also has a built in mic that delivers loud sound for both party and calls. Owing to its metal bezel, the sound that is reproduced is concrete, crisper and heavier. The sound box also gives an ample playback time of more than 6 hours which is certainly not the best, but neither is bad. What amazed us was the bass output of this portable player which certainly stands apart as a stellar feature for this price. Price `2995

Huawei Ascend p6

When current owners of the iPhone 5 swoon over a phone, you know you’re holding something truly special in your hand. The Huawei Ascend P6 might be a mouthful, but it strikes a strange chord in the heart — the same chord that the iPhone tingles and that’s a lot more than other phones have been able to accomplish. The colours look brighter, the phone is thinner than the iPhone 5S and the touch is stellar. It’s also a quad-core so it doesn’t hang if you use Whatsapp, Twitter and FB together and it costs ` 30,000 (26,000 on Flipkart). So, sounds like a fair deal, eh? It actually is, till you go on roaming and the metal trims turn so hot you can fry baby eggs on them. Thankfully, it calms off soon after its let off some steam. Another grouse we had is the voice clarity, which goes bad and then gets better on its own. Apart from these two bits of erraticness, the Ascend P6 is a great phone. Price `29,990

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HTC one mini

The mini is a mid-to-high-end aluminum-clad smartphone with a 4.3-inch display, designed for those who want a premium device without the massive size — now that’s a relief. Beautifully designed, you are left completely awestruck when holding this phone. The sheer slimness, compact form and of course the price. However, the plastic injected around the edges of the phone makes it seem like a less refined iteration of One. The camera is superb with the inclusion of the Zoe mode that plays along with four second burst shot mode and Image Signal processor (ISP). Under the skin, it’s powered by a 1.4 GHz Qualcomm Snapdragon processor, 1 GB RAM and 16GB internal memory. While using the phone, our biggest quibble was the lack of processing power and the limited storage. Price `36,790

Micromax turbo

When Hugh Jackman endorses an Indian phone, we have to take a closer look at it. The built quality is a mix of plastic and aluminum back finish, which makes it look gorgeous. The 5-inch full HD display screen with 1080x1920 pixels resolution and pixel density of 440ppi ensure that text is crisp and the colours come out beautifully. You will be satisfied with the 13MP camera as long as you take snaps in a well-lit environment. The Turbo is powered by a 1.5GHz quad-core processor with 2GB RAM onboard. It comes with 16GB of internal storage and uses the tried and tested Android 4.2 Price: `19,999

Acer c720 Chromebook

The C720 is aimed for first time laptop users who don’t want to burn a hole in their pockets. In the grand scheme of things, it’s the C720’s price point that makes it appealing while on a smaller scale it’s this notebook’s excellent performance that makes it stand out amongst peers. From the outside, the grey shaded Chromebook gives a fairly utilitarian and business-esque look. The keys are also solid and can be used to type quickly, which is of particular importance for many users. The touch is a tad bit unresponsive, albeit only power users will feel so. What comes as a surprise is the fact that the laptop doesn’t heat up and is deadly quiet. Performance is where the Acer C720 shines, and anyone who plans to use the system regularly for work or as a primary laptop will find no flaws. For us, the Acer C720 stands taller than the Samsung Series 3 Chromebook.. Price `22,999 fhmindia.com

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A man’s guide to Dogs A pet pup could be your new best friend, but only if you choose the right breed. Here’s all that need to know to pick the perfect pooch for you Words Dan Masoliver Photography Marco Vittur

Cavalier KING CHARLES SPANIEL Dottie, 7 years old 102

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UPGRADE pooch

Whether you already have a pooch or are looking to get one, there are things you need to know to avoid barking up the wrong tree. We enlisted the help of animal behaviour expert Helen Stone from Battersea Dogs & Cats Home to provide us with her doggy wisdom… You might have heard that people in flats shouldn’t get dogs, but as long as you’re willing to put in the time and you give it exercise, the size of the house – or dog – doesn’t matter too much. It’s more about the breed than the size, as some are a lot more active than others. Siberian Huskies, say, aren’t huge, but they’re used to pulling sledges all day in the snow. If you get one of those, you need to be walking it a lot. A dog’s breed plays a huge role in its behaviour. German Shepherds and Rottweilers are historically bred to guard and make noise when people come to the house. If you don’t want a dog that’s going to bark at certain noises, you may want to consider a different breed. Training has a massive impact too, and most things can be taught, no matter the breed. Pretty much all breeds have associated health issues – Labradors can have problems with their hips and arthritis; Pugs can have trouble breathing and be prone to epilepsy because of the size of their head. If you’re going for a pedigree dog, you want to find out about the parents and whether they suffer from problems. Mongrels tend to be healthier than pedigree dogs, but again that depends on which breeder you get it from.

01 Dachshund Tiger, 5 years old

Better known as sausage dogs, Dachshunds were originally bred as working dogs to chase game like badgers and rabbits. Surprisingly energetic, they do need a fair bit of exercise, though equally enjoy a good snooze. They’re loyal, but not necessarily the most obedient.

Financial cost is something that people often don’t think about. Buy a puppy today, and it could cost you around 2 lakh (13 years, on average). You can expect to pay `15,000 upwards for a pedigree pooch, and then you’re looking at veterinary costs, insurance, neutering, food, toys. You can ask the guy who cleans your car to take you pet for a walk, but he will charge `600-700 per month for the job.

02 Dobermann Bruno, 8 years old

Named after their original breeder, a German tax collector who needed a dog to help him collect payments. These dogs are tough, fast and skilful trackers (which makes them popular police dogs), but they’re also loving, affectionate, and love a good lie down.

All dogs need a leader to show them what to do; they need guidance in how to behave in a human house because it’s a strange environment for an animal. But if you’re using force or punishment, it will just create a problem between you and the dog where they feel they need to defend themselves. Those sorts of techniques can create a lot of detrimental problems for the dog. It’s about respect both ways. If you show them what to do, you should be fine. If your dog’s being annoying, chasing your feet and chewing everything up, it’s probably just bored because it isn’t getting enough exercise. Dogs aren’t spiteful animals and they’re not doing things to annoy us or to try to get a reaction out of us; they’re doing things because it’s what they need to do to cope in that situation. 02

Some new dog owners compare getting a dog to having a baby. Suddenly their life has changed. You have to plan your day; you need to know

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Which is the right dog for me?

someone’s coming home at a certain time for the dog, and someone’s always responsible for making sure that it’s fed and it’s OK. You need to be taking it out for a walk twice a day, and your social life will be impacted quite heavily – if you normally come home and go straight out with your friends, you’re often going to need to stay in and spend some time with the dog instead.

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UPGRADE pooch 03 Cocker Spaniel Layla, 3 years old

Spaniels are a fun and friendly bunch, and Cockers are the most easy-going of the lot. They’re retrievers that thrive on hanging out with humans and love pleasing their owners. On the one hand that makes them relatively easy to train; on the other hand, it means that – in the absence of rabbits – any old slippers you’ve got lying around the house are likely to get covered in Spaniel slobber when it drops them at your feet with a look of pride on its face.

04 Yorkshire Terrier Zack, 4 years old

Yorkies have got really big personalities for such tiny dogs. They tend to be pampered little pooches, but that’s more down to their owners – who pick them for their cute puppy-dog eyes and sticky-uppy ears – than the dogs themselves. Yes, they walk around town with ribbons in their hair, but in the right hands Yorkies are playful, energetic dogs that like chasing after toys and small rodents alike.

05 Akita Hugo, 3 years old

These big, powerful Japanese beasties were bred as fighting dogs, but their strength and skills were soon used for hunting bears – yes, actual bears – as well as wild boar and deer. This makes them good guard dogs, but they’re big furry softies at heart, and are quietly devoted to their owners, who they’d do anything to protect. They require a ton of exercise, and aren’t suited to sitting around all day in a cramped flat.

FYI

r pet by If you plan to transport you double air, you will have to pay for the dog. and cage the of ght wei the s and If your pooch wighs 10 kilo will pay the cage is of 20 kilos, you ays for (20+10)x2. Only Jet Airw sport in tran pet w allo ia Ind Air and not India. Train is cheaper, but a lot of really advisable because of . formalities, plus it’s not safe

December 2013

Still used today for tracking and hunting hare, Beagles are one of the most popular hounds in Britain. They’re friendly, enthusiastic and love running around the park or, better yet, a big open field. Don’t be fooled by their small bodies – Beagles were bred to hunt other animals, so good luck calling one back once they’ve found a scent. If you enjoy standing shouting after your dog or looking for it in the undergrowth, get yourself a bubbly Beagle.

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06 Beagle Bteezer, 5 months old

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07 Jack Russell Miley, 8 years old

The Kennel Club, in its infinite wisdom, doesn’t actually recognise the Jack Russell as a breed, because the dogs can vary so much in shape and size, but it’s still one of the most popular dogs in Britain. They may be little, but Jack Russells are super energetic and need a good amount of space to run around in, or at least a couple of good long walks a day.

08 Chihuahua Toby, 2 years old

The smallest dog breed in the world, you’re more likely to see one of these fur balls in Paris Hilton’s handbag than a bloke’s back garden, but they’re actually pretty smart, trainable little pups. They’re lap dogs, so require very little exercise compared to some other breeds – under an hour a day – and they make really good companions for old folks.

FYI Friendicoes-SECA is a charity that cares for pets, abandoned and unwanted providing veterinary care and shelter. To find out more or to donate, find them on www.facebook.com/ friendicoes.

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09 Staffordshire Bull Terrier Mylo, 4 years old

Staffies have probably the worst reputation of any dog in the UK today, and it couldn’t be any less deserved. They may look tough, and they do have a lot of power in that squat, muscly frame of theirs, but on the inside they’re one of the softest, soppiest breeds around. Staffies even used to be known as the “nanny dog” because they were so good around children. Their bad rep nowadays comes from the idiots who train them to fight, which is totally against the breed’s nature.

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Why dogs really are Man’s Best Friend It’s been emotional Dogs are the only critters in the animal kingdom that can read emotion in humans. Science types at the University of Lincoln found that after 15,000 years of domestication, dogs have developed the ability to tell if we’re happy, sad or angry just by looking at our ugly mugs. Super sniffers Your dog could save your life, and not just by pulling you out of a burning building or by alerting someone that you’re stuck down a well. French researchers found some breeds can be trained to detect prostate cancer, just by sniffing your piss. Canine connection Contagious yawning – when you yawn because the person you’re with just has – is a subconscious way of displaying empathy for our fellow man, and the more empathy you feel for others, the more likely you are to yawn when someone else does. But dogs do this too, according to researchers at the University of Tokyo, showing that they are genuinely “emotionally connected” to people. Clever girl Dogs can understand up to 250 words and signals, which linguistically makes them about as smart as a two-year-old human. This means they’re able to fetch an item like a ball just by hearing the word for it. The smartest poochies are Border Collies, Poodles, German Shepherds and Golden Retrievers. The dumbest? Shaggy old Afghan Hounds.

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Musical intervention

Blokes and others — it’s the last month of a year that flew by in a jiffy, but it also saw a billion and a half musical escapades starting from Tiesto’s India tour to Above and Beyond’s numerous stopovers in India, just in case you missed all of them, to keep up the trend we’ve got you a round-up of December’s hottest gigs. Avicii India Tour 6, 7, 8 Dec; Mumbai, Bangalore & Delhi The world #3 deejay is all set to blast your EDM senses with his 3-city tour. Starting the tour with Mumbai, then moving on to Bengaluru and finally hitting Delhi – Avicii is back in the country after his debut tour in 2011. For EDM novices, Avicii is the Platinum selling #3 artist on the worldwide DJ Mag polls and has made the world groove to his hits such as Le7els, Bromance and Silhouettes.

(Live), Umek and Gabriel & Dresden. Moreover, the festival will also showcase Indian acts like Swarathma, Indian Ocean, Raghu Dixit, Shaa’ir & Func, Dualist Inquiry, Arjun Vagale, Ankytrixx and Lost Stories. Magnetic Fields 13, 14, 15 Dec; Alisar Mahal, Rajasthan A striking backdrop of a 17th century palace combined with impeccable Rajasthani hospitality and the freshest underground sounds from India and abroad – that’s Magnetic Fields for you. This first time festival takes place at the stunning Alsisar Mahal in the heritage village of Alsisar in Shekhawati, Rajasthan and brings a unique outdoor music festival experience. The festival promises to offer Yoga sessions, traditional folk artists and the best of local cuisine, deconstructing some of the region’s most popular foods. The line-up boasts of artists like Shaa’ir + Func, Robot Koch, Shiva Soundsystem, Sandunes, Kohra, BLOT!, Midival Punditz, Sulk Station, Peter Cat Recording Co. and Frame/ Frame amongst others.

Enchanted Valley Carnival 6, 7, 8 Dec; Aamby Valley City The first of its kind music festival to take place in Aamby Valley City, Maharastra; this EDM escapade offers 3 days, 4 stages and over 60 artists to watch out for. Amongst those who will be headlining these stages are international bigwigs such as ATB, Cosmic Gate with Emma Hewitt (Live), Chicane

Amongst the acts to watch out for are Indian Ocean, Kailasa, Papon, The Raghu Dixit Project, Michal Menert of the Pretty Lights fame, ReFocus by Arjun Vagale, Dualist Inquiry, Ska Vengers, Karsh Kale Collective, Parikrama, Nischay Parekh and Pentagram. Phew!

Sunburn Festival 27, 28, 29 Dec; Candolim Beach, Goa Sunburn has undoubtedly put India on the global EDM map. This year marks the seventh edition of this beachside fiesta with headlining acts like Axwell, Afrojack, Markus Schulz and James Zabiela amongst others.

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Words: Nishant Nayyar

NH7 Weekender 14, 15 Dec; Kolkata NH7 is a name that needs no introduction. The people behind NH7 have tagged their baby as the happiest music festival of India and damn, they’re right. This time, they foray into Kolkata’s musical ensemble, which is a first for the city and will also mark the last leg of the 4-city Weekender edition for 2013. fhmindia.com

U P G R A D E f e s t i va l

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FHM festival essentials Whether you are dancing on the beach or grooving in the dessert, these essential picks will help you survive long EDM carnivals without any stress 1. Altoids Even after all that heavy indulgence of booze guzzling and junk food hogging, wouldn’t you want to make a move on the cute lass who subtly passed you a smile on the dance floor? Well, then keep these strong breath mints handy in your backpack/shorts so you can approach her. Price `280

2. Sony Portable Charger Amidst the heavy check-ins on Foursqaure, simultaneous clicks on Instagram and relentless tweeting on your pick of the live acts, your phone suddenly conks off. So how do you feed your socially connected animal inside you? We just carry a handy portable mobile charger and it gets us back in action. Price `1250

3. Neutrogena Sunblock Keep in mind that 90% of the damage done to your skin can be attributed to the sun. So if you insist on being out and about, at least use a good sunscreen. This Neutrogena Sunblock with SPF 50 should preserve your native skin tone even when you’re in the thick of festival shenanigans. Price `180

4. Himalaya Gentle Wipes Cleaning up using a wet wipe, unlike the conventional method of cleaning using water and a cloth wipe, does not drain the skin of its moisture and leave it dry. Also, they are disposable and save you tlugging and washing soiled towels/napkins. Price `50

5. Victorinox Swiss Knife From opening beer bottles to fixing tents, a Swiss knife always comes to the rescue. A sought-after, all-in-one survival kit, the Victorinox 15 Tool Swiss Knife is the ideal go-to option. It also comes with a key ring so you don’t lose it. Price `1200 onwards

COCKTAILS THAT will keep you warm Really Manly Brandy cocktails

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U P G R A D E c o c k ta i l s

Ginger Loves to Gossip

Citric Connection

LaLune Jaune

Bangkok Surprise

• 45ml Brandy • 4 Pineapple Chunks • 1 tbsp Anise Seeds • 15ml Lime Juice • 15ml Sugar Syrup • 30ml Pineapple Juice • 2 dashes of Angustura Bitters Muddle pineapple, anise seeds and sugar syrup in a glass, pour brandy along with diluted lime juice and pineapple juice. Add some crushed ice and shake hard for 10 seconds before straining it in the glass. Top with Angustura bitters.

Amigo

• 45ml Brandy • 1 tbsp Orange Marmalade • 15ml of Lime Juice • 15ml Monin Triple Sec • 1 Orange Zest Muddle lime and sugar in a glass, add brandy and pour a tbsp of marmalade. Dilute 15ml Monin Triple Sec in the glass, add 1 Orange zest, fill the glass with some crushed ice, stir the mixture and serve. fhmindia.com

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• 45ml Brandy • 4 Orange Chunks • 20ml Passion Fruit syrup • 15ml Lime Juice • A dash of Soda Muddle orange with lime and passion fruit in glass, pour the brandy, add some crushed ice to it, shake and strain it in the glass.

• 45ml Brandy • 40ml of Triple Sec • 1 Orange Chunk • 15ml of Lime Juice • 60 ml Beer • A dash of Soda Muddle orange in a glass, pour the brandy, Triple sec and lime juice. Top it with beer and add some soda before serving.

Side Kick

• 45ml brandy • 15ml of Triple sec • 10ml of Monin Spicy Syrup • 20ml of Lime juice Pour brandy in a glass and dilute the Triple sec and Monin Spicy syrup to it. Now add the lime juice and some cracked ice. Shake and strain it in the glass. Serve.

December 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav; Cocktails by USL’s Louis Vernant XO brandy

• 45ml Brandy • 20 ml Ginger Lime Cordial • 10ml Lime Juice • 30ml Sprite • 60ml Soda Pour the brandy in a glass and top it with ginger lime cordial, lime juice, Sprite and soda. Add some cracked ice, stir gently and serve.

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news

SPORT

STYLE

Compiled By: Kumar Saurav

12/13

Sweat it ouT

A grey sweatshirt is like a classic watch...Something that should never be discarded and it normally isn’t. For times when your’s becomes too flea-ridden, and it’s time to

ing yth orn r e ev n be wan ca with ized . rs rt.. oveatshit e s g swA lmo hin t ry e v e

upgrade, try this Nike Fleece sweatshirt. To make it even more professional, try teaming it with a knitted tie. This Nike Tech Fleece sweatshirt is priced at `4500

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Keep up with time

W a t c h es

Pick a watch like you pick your friends... carefully. Here are a few of the new watches that you can consider buying.

THE POSH

ChairosTMGrand Prix Watch `50,000, www.qnetindia.in

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tie

Knot Happening

Right tie for the right suit and the right man Just because those ‘under dressed’ colleagues of yours will frown when they see you wearing a tie doesn’t mean you burn yours. Again, a tie not only adds class to your daily suit, but it also makes you feel confident. And you

don’t necessarily need to team it with a coat, a tie goes equally well with a cardigan or v-neck sweater, or a casual Friday jacket.

These ties from Corneliani are priced at `8000 each

THE CLASSY

Salvatore Ferragamo Lungarno Christmas Edition watch `1,35,000, www.ferragamo.com

THE rough n tough

h ow to ro c k i t

Timex Marathon T5K421 Digital Watch `1500, www.indiarush.com

Match your tie with a suit that goes well with the material of your tie. One can’t be cotton and other satin.

Quite a good one at this price point

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Court a victory so c c er s h oes

These new soccer shoes from Adidas’s Samba collection are favoured by the likes of Oscar, Mesut Ozil and Fernando Torres, and is designed to deliver outstanding ball control, touch, accuracy and power.

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So if you are a soccer enthusiast who has been putting off football, some new kit should do the trick.

The Adidas Predator soccer boots are priced at `12,000

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Warm Up!

B l a z ers

Two blazers that are good to wear tonight for the office party, or to the client meet tomorrow, or even at the weekend date with that new intern.

h ow to ro c k i t Pair it with one of those straight fit denims or khakis and you’ll be ready to rick the world.

`10,000, Monte Carlo Paltine

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`60,000, Paul Smith

Chain Up

face the wind

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Cold outside, hot inside Its beginning to get cold outside, which probably means some prick in the accounts team would switch off the air conditioning every 6 minutes, but you freeze off your nipples by the time you get your car in the parking. What you need is a windbreaker to tide you over. Try on this one from Adidas.

Switching Sides

t h e g re a t sw i t c h

Want to carry five different sunglasses at one go? These unisex sunglasses come with five different pairs of glasses, which can be changed according to the climate or occasion. Switchbacks by Maui Jim are priced at `15,400

FHM LOVES

Price at `5000 `4000, Burton 112

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w a ys to we a r

Dress Down Dudes

tees a n d s h oes

Polos

FHM LOVES

Wearing a polo is not as mundane as you think

BUTTON IT TO THE TOP

(Indie/Prep Look) Match them with slim fit or straight fit denims.

Never Tuck It In

(Unless you were born in the Sixties or are American) Even if you are wearing a nice jacket, don’t tuck it. It just doesn’t look nice.

Lighten up the day

Tee by Captain KYSO; Shoes by Language Green is certainly not the colour of the night, but during the day it looks just right. Tee: `500 (variable), www. captainkyso.com; Shoes `4000

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Dawn of the dead

Tee by Jack and Jones; Shoes by Egle and Louis Alberti In love with large graphics? This tee is tailor made for you. Team this with leather moccasins and a bomber. Tee, `1500, Shoes: `8290

Time To Shine

polo p a ls

A knit in time

Tee by Paul Smith; Shoes by AurumCo White laces on a black shoe wasn’t cool earlier, but now it is. Pair it with the nutty t-shirt. Tee, `6500; Shoes: `7500

Pick The Right Size

(Else don’t) Before buying a polo, check the size chart. It’s very important. You can’t really go wrong with the fit when you are wearing a polo.

Polos are the safest best when it comes to classy style.

Polos are for safe players, people who don’t want to experiment but are keen on colours. The best part of polo tees are that these are fit for both the work place and also for the post office party at the neighbourhood bar. These tees are made of 100% Pique Fabric, which is quite comfortable to wear. Also, the colour doesn’t fade even after repeated washes. The polos by Tshirt Company are priced at `900. www.tshirtcompany.in

Suit the occasion

(Polos are versatile) If it’s a work day, team it with a dark trouser, well fitted denims work too.

Polo tips by Malini Menon, Tshirt Company

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the fhm Tabas In a not for weak-hearted feature, fhm spends the month tasting and judging pepper sauces.

the Boss

THE BRAND

Palo Alto Fire Fighters

Dabur CApsico

Perhaps, the most iconic pepper sauce brand available today. It’s popularity is overridden by the saying ‘If it’s hot pepper sauce, it’s got to be Tabasco’.

The brand, in its almost two decades old history, has made quite a name in the hot pepper sauce league. And this hot pepper sauce actually sells like hot cakes.

This new brand is by Dabur India and it’s nothing but a cheap imitation of the original Tabasco.

THE BOTTLE

The brand is recognisable from its slender bottle. And is still modelled after the cologne style bottles used for its first batch in the year 1868.

A very different bottle from the lot. It reminds us of a miniature Jim Beam bottle, which we definitely fancy.

When we say cheap iteration, we mean it. The bottle and branding is almost identical to that of Tabasco, isn’t it?

THE TASTE

Needless to say, it has a very balanced and mild taste, which is proven by the ever-growing usage of the brand’s pepper sauce.

This one’s called Firefighter for a reason and is by far the hottest hot pepper sauce. Plus, it’s damn addictive.

If you are looking for a HOT pepper sauce, then this is definitely NOT worth trying. The taste seems tangy at first, but easily fades away in a hurry.

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U P G R A D E S au c y c h r o n i c l es

co chronicles American Garden

Tapatio

Sainsbury is the second largest supermarket chain in the United Kingdom manufacturing a line of in-house brands. While the supermarket doesn’t operate in India, the sauce is available.

A fairly new brand to hit the exhaustive pepper sauce market. The brand is well known for its food and grocery products.

Though only four decades old, the brand got its share of the limelight only after Frito Lay released a line of Tapatio flavoured Doritos, Ruffles and Fritos.

With quite minimalist labelling and a graphic of chilies on the front, this bottle too references Tabasco. The only visible difference is the long neck of the cologne-styled bottle.

This one has a body similar to that of Tabasco, but with a longer neck. The branding looks awful with a mix of green duck-tape type bottle cover and red logo branding .

With a strikingly similar bottle texture to Tabasco, hot sauce patrons can easily be fooled by looking at this one if they don’t focus on the branding.

On tasting it you feel quite a sharp hit of vinegar and then a combination of citrusy lemon and garlic tones, earning it a classification of a medium hot pepper sauce.

Despite being served in an ugly looking bottle, this sauce has a tangy taste. And coupled with bits of Tabasco peppers, it should definitely find a place in your kitchen.

Try this for an explosive burst of flavours. It is sweet, tangy and a little spicy — all at the same time — making it a perfectly addictive combination.

B fhmindia.com

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Words: Nishant Nayyar

Sainsbury’s

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Man Thing

time to

Here is a selection of men’s boots, we’re rather moderately dubbing ‘Great’.

reboot

UPGRADE boots

Don’t just buckle-up... A pair of boots with zips, like this one from Liberty, is the best thing that can happen to people who don’t have several pairs of shoes, or aspire to be mithun da.

Levis

CAT

`7000

`11500

FHM LOVES

wildcraft

Yellow boot by Timberland

woods

tommy hilfiger

WoodLand

WoodLand

`3500

LIBERTY `4000

`10000

`9000

WoodLand

`5500

`3300

1. Chukka

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2. Chelsea

Popularised by the Beatles in the sixties, these boots, also called Dealer Boots, go really well with slim-fitted suits.

`4500

There is nothing wrong in tucking in your denim inside your boots, but make sure your boots are worth the show.

Know your boots... Gentlemen

Also popular as the turf boots and bucks, the Chukka Boot looks good with a solid coloured shirt and straight denims.

`12,000

3. Cowboy (western boots)

If you are going to wear an Oxford shirt with a slim boot cut denim, Cowboy boots are the way to go.

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4. Hiking boots

These provide amazing support to your ankle, and if you are one of those outdoor activity type of guy, go for it. December 2013

Compiled By: Kumar Saurav

woods

`9500

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UPGRADE girlfriend scan this page for more pictures of rinks

On why she has more bikinis than shirts…

who’S she? Full Name Rina Charaniya Lives in Mumbai Occupation Actor

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It has not been a rollercoaster ride for her in Mumbai, but Rina Charaniya aka Rinks – the 20-something pretty girl from Gujarat seems intent on finding her place in the sun, no matter how small. Her last role was blink-n-miss in the dud Policegiri (she played Prachi Desai’s friend). What makes you feel sexy? My attitude and my looks. How many bikinis do you have in you wardrobe? Hmm, there are many, but I haven’t counted them really. Now that you have asked me, maybe I’ll go and count them. In what colours? There are a variety of colours, but my personal favourite is sky blue. What are you most comfortable in? Hot pants and T-shirt. When was the last time you found yourself too hot to handle? Call it self-obsession or whatever else, but I always find myself hot. What was going on in your mind when you were getting this photo shoot done? I don’t keep anything in my mind when I’m shooting for a prestigious brand like yours. Why jam my head with eerie thoughts instead of going fhmindia • fhmindia

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“Call it self-obsession or whatever else, but I always find myself hot.”

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Words: Kumar Saurav; Photographer: Rohan Gandotra; Agency: La Modelz Management & Productions

out and enjoying a lovely photo shoot? Are you as naughty in real life as in these pictures? Yes, I’m naughty, but not negative, and harmlessly so. (Giggles) What is more important to you than yourself? Bringing smiles to others. What kind of things do you like to do? Acting, acting and nothing but acting. Who do you look upto? Ektaa Kapoor. I love her for her achievements in a supposedly maledominated quadrangle. She’s fierce, but positively aggressive, both business and creativity wise. She’s an inspiring force for many girls trying to make it big in their careers. Who are the men you find irresistible? Ranbir Kapoor. Hmm… I can’t really disclose the names of my other fantasy men. (Giggles again) What attracts you to a man? I like good-looking men who are honest, and have pleasant personality. If you were a fruit, what would you have liked to be? Strawberry. Hmm... with ot without whipped cream? Always with. fhmindia • fhmindia

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9 PEOPLE YOU DON’T WANT TO sit NEXT TO ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT

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Anyone over 100 kgs People struggle with weight issues for all kinds of reasons: perhaps they have a weird hormonal problem, or maybe they resemble Tuntun because their uncle tried to kiss them when they were 12. Nobody wants to be morbidly super-obese, and it’s mean to mock the afflicted. But saying that… if there’s anything more shudderinducing than feeling jiggling blubber press against your arm, we’ve yet to experience it.

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Your recent ex Why is she on this train, in this carriage? As she clocks you, both your hearts sink. It’d be weird if she sat by you, but even weirder if she didn’t. So you end up sharing a seemingly endless journey that makes you want to die of fistbiting awkwardness and one-sided inappropriate horniness.

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A 4-year-old boy Few things are more nervejangling than a small boy. If he’s not playing ADHD Warriorz at full fucking volume on his 3DS, he’s squawking at his knackered mum to give him another fistful of candy, or elbowing you in the ribs while doing his “hilarious” pterodactyl impression. Our advice? When nobody’s looking, lean in and hiss, “Santa Claus isn’t real, y’know.” That’ll give him something to contemplate.

09 The local loonbag

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Every local loonbag follows the same basic template: a nickname that sums up their behaviour (Jimmy The Dancer, Screechy Dave etc), plus a tragi-comic back story (his parents were brother and sister and he lives in the park toilets etc). If your local loonbag plonks themselves down next to you, brace yourself for a genuinely traumatic few minutes.

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December 2013

Anyone who’s more drunk than you On the late night metro, pretty much every passenger is on a sliding scale that runs from “quite drunk” to “catastrophically pissed”. No matter how wazzocked you are, there’s always someone in a far worse condition. Keep well away, unless you want to be slept/wept/ dribbled/hit on.

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Your bus crush’s new boyfriend Whenever you catch the number 503, she’s on it: a vision of beauty in a Boots uniform, with

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a serious Candy Crush habit that makes her swear under her breath, all cute like. But today, she’s got on with some guy. Who the fuck is he? Shit, he’s sitting next to you. Argh, she’s on his lap. They’re giggling. He’s rubbing her knee. She’s whispering in his ear. Make it stop. Makeitstopmakeitstop!

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A chatty old-timer It’s easy to halt a stranger’s misguided chattiness: oneword answers, phone-fiddling and glaring out the window normally does it. But you’d have to be stonecold heartless to shrug off some lonely old chuffer when he leans over to inform you that he’s off to visit his late wife’s grave to lay down the tragic bunch of 24-hour-garage chrysanthemums he’s gripping. He’ll have you fighting back tears within three stops.

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You, with a hangover You drank eight pints last night and now you look, feel and smell like a dead horse’s nutsack. So you have a 20-minute shower, lather on deodorant, brush your teeth twice, swallow some mouthwash, squirt on some aftershave. Pointless, all of it. Within seconds of leaving the house, your hangover seeps back through your pores and up out of your throat, leaving the poor stranger next to you inhaling a manky fog of stale beer, fag-butts and partially vommed kebab.

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A stag dos Stag dos are an amazing laugh when you’re on one, and mindscrapingly annoying if you’re merely forced to sit in the vicinity of one on a trip to Europe during a lengthy train journey. Unless, of course, you enjoy watching pissed-at-10am blokes in wigs cackling and screaming tiresome in-jokes at each other while pretending to bum an inflatable sheep – in which case, fill yer boots... See you next month… fhmindia.com

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